So, I kinda got infected by that desease named glee. I don't know how (well in fact I do:D) , because in Germany it just started -.-° (with the worst synchro ever -.- Kurt sounds that gay and snob…bah..and I can't stand Terri's voice….they both make me wanna break something XD (Especially since the Synchro of Kurt has a great voice, but tries to imitate that special way Chris speaks which sounds creepy-.-) Well, anyway I listened for like the last 2 weeks non-stop to the soundtrack and somehow that Bohemian Rhapsody cover wouldn't leave me alone- especially not after I watched the episode to which it belongs to. It was like "WOW o.0 That song is a summery of the whole Jesse/Rachel/Puck/Finn-relationship" Soooo….somehow I developed some ideas about what Jesse thinks while singing it. And since I don't really like neither Finnchel nor Puckleberry, I decided, that this would become a Story. I don't really like Rachel, but I like Jesse, so yey. (It didn't let me go) Also, I still not sure whether this is a one-shot or will become a multi-chapter kind of thing o.9 So tell me, I wanna know :D Oh, and I am no native speaker, so please excuse my mistakes (If someone likes to beta, feel free to tell me :D) . (Bahaaaaaa…..sorry for that monster of a A/N)
Disclaimer: No, I don't own glee. Otherwise I wouldn't write fanfiction about it and there would also be no change of cast after the 2nd season. And no, neither does "Bohemian Rhapsody" belong to me. Of course it's owned by Queen:D
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Bohemian Rhapsody
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Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
His first thoughts after he had left her in that room in which all had changed. Did it really happen? Was she really that crazed about her reputation that she ignored everyone else? Did she really mess up things that badly that they hadn't even tried to work it out afterwards? Did she really turn their relationship down for her ego's sake? He had left the school immediately; had gotten into his car and then just driven, whithout a certain destination, always wondering whether it really had happened. He hadn't been sure, most of the time he believed himself to be dreaming and waking up soon. Had tried to declare it all as some bizarre scenario his brain had worked out at night, because of the presssure he had been put under during the days. – A nightmare.
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
But then again he had rethought everything and decided that it could very likely happened, since she would do things like that withouth remorse or regret while facing the outcome. Well, at first. He wasn't sure whether she even had realized, during watching that aweful clip, how much tension suddenly had filled the room, leaving no space to breathe. It had happened, no doubt. Only she could have rendered him into such a mass, having his feelings shattered like a glass, left empty in the inside.
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
Why couldn't she have forseen it? Everyone else had understood what was happening, when the first change of lead was shown. Why couldn't she? Nobody else would have played their ex-partners against their boyfriend with whom they had a firm relationship to impress their fellow glee-club members who weren't even interested in any of it. He hadopened his eyes; had been first of all shocked; speechless. – Their duet had been a reflex, nothing more or less. He had wanted her to "turn around", of course.
I'm just a poor boy (Poor boy)
I need no sympathy
Yeah, he really was a poor boy now. Back then, he had thought that it would be easy to keep on going like nothing had happened. He had supressed he need to reinstate their relationship, told himself that he only maintained it to finally fullfill Shelby's wish. He didn't need sympathy, not from girl like that, didn't he?
Because I'm easy come, easy go
She was just one in the long row of girls he had had, wasn't she?
Little high, little low
Any way the wind blows
Doesn't really matter to me, to me
No, it really didn't matter what had happened with her. She wasn't any special to him, so it didn't matter what happened to her.
Mama just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
He had told her that. Not in words, of course. It wasn't like he couldn't have done that, but actions spoke louder than words, didn't they? Well, he hadn't had a gun. Nonetheless had his actions been as effective as a gun. When she stood there, helplessly, shocked by having eggs flying towards her, on the edge of a break down, he had let his actions speek. Telling her that he had indeed loved her, just was to tell her what she had triggered by doing that all to him. He had put every ounce of feeling in his throw. She wasn't to be pittied, he had told himself while he watched how the egg yolk ran over her face, her throat. He had killed her. Just like that.
Mama, life has just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
It had been all right after that, he told himself, like she never had interfered with his life. He simply had gotten back into the routine of rehearsing and not the questioned, although following Shelby's orders concerning their performance. "But obviously, it isn't allright, isn't? Otherwise there wouldn't be that much to think about…", that little voice in his head told him. Yes, he had been depressed when he had to break up with her to return to Vocal Adrenaline. Yes, he was still depressed, but what did it change? He couldn't do anything about, anyway.
Mama, ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry
He had been devestated right after that egg-fight; he knew that at least Shelby didn't approve of it, his mother wouldn't have, too. Throwing eggs at a vegan was more than cruel.
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters
No, when they would be the winners in a hour or so, there would be not need to keep on thinking about her. He would never ever see her – it was very unlikely that she could or would follow , anyway, it wouldn't be his concern anymore and the same applied to Shelby, who of course still was her mother, but had no direct conection with her.
Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye, everybody
I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Yeah, he would leave. As soon as he had his high school-dimploma in his pocket, there would be no frontiers left for him. Nonthing and no one would ever been allowed to is heart. He would develop an amour of ice to keep his heart save.
Mama, oooooooh (Anyway the wind blows)
I don't want to die
Sometimes wish I'd never been born at all
No, he didn't want to die because of a broken heart, neither physically, nor emotionally. Never. Ever. ever again would he allow someone to cast that much of misery upon himself. Everything would have been wonderful, if he never had come to Lima.
[Guitar Solo]
I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango
No, he couldn't mask it that good. Naturaly the audience would not ever get through his showface, neither would his fellow members see it. He finally admitted that he had done what he had critized when she had shown that trait. Yey, he was little. There wouldn't be a flamenco of emotions, since he had drawn such a straight line, that she had no chance to get back to him.
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me
(Galileo) Galileo (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo Figaro
He was in fact a great performer; he knew it, she knew, everyone knew it, He was bright and brilliant and his grades couldn't get better anymore, but what had it brought him?
Magnifico-o-o-o-o
I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me
He didn't deserve to ask for any kind of romantic love…Unfortunately it was just a tiny fraction claiming that, the rest joined in the mockering of his role. Everybody liked him, they girls, the boys, the audience, teacher, the headmaster, there were so many who loved him.
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
He didn't want to live a life with a scared heart. Why couldn't she just have left him alone? He would only have pursued his plan, and everything would have been fine. Maybe not for her, but that wouldn't have mattered to him. Why couldn't he just left alone?
Let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go
Let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go
Let me go (Will not let you go)
Let me go (Will not let you go) (Never, never, never, never)
Let me go, o, o, o, o
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go
He wanted them to accept that he couldn't do it anymore, the last weeks had been so much pain from the heartache he suffered from. He would never admit that openly, but was in fact, what he felt. Why should god interfere with that? There was no reason; she had used him, he had used her. She used him to get back a reputation about which no one cared, he used her to get back the same. Again the same of doing things. It could have worked out so amazingly.
(Oh mama mia, mama mia) Mama Mia, let me go
Beelzebub has the devil put aside for me, for me, for me!
Yeah, he deserved whatever would come to punish him. He looked forward to that upcoming akward episode in his life. The (probably) love of his life lost to a dumb quarterback; completely defeated. Of course, when he would win, it would boost his ego, or at least his musical ego, but he himself would remain empty.
So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
His anger returned at once when he saw her standing, watching. Had he, before he had spotted her, even considered to get over her, or at least try it, was he now in a total rage. Why had she to always remind him that he couldn't get over her? He couldn't have her, but neither could lose the dream of being together with her. She was such a pain in the neck. He had tried for weeks to forget her, and suddenly she was standing there, as if nothing had happened, as if Quinn wasn't getting her baby and everyone else had left. No, she had to stand there, in the spotlight, where else? He loved her so badly; it rendered him furious, seeing her standing there. He put all his hate for the fact that they couldn't ment their broken relationship into his singing; belting the phrases, telling everyone who was listening that it wasn't just a normal performance. She had done wrong first, had stoned him with that clip and the fact that she had allowed something that intimate not only to be made public, but also had did it with his rivals. He couldn't ignore those stings of jealousy.
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
And after that? She couldn't understand why she should be sorry for what she had been doing. Being a genius like she was, too, he could indentify to some point. Nonetheless she had left him to die. Die a slow death by heartache. He had been so disappointed in her, that he had feared she would redo such a mistake. She thought she loved him, but in fact, he loved her. Although also ego crazed, he would never have done anything like that to his girlfriend. Nor would he, if he did it, just leave it to be, pursuing a policy of "None of this ever happened".
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here
That look on her face…she was regretting splitting up, he could see, could see her eyes become shiny with tears, although it shouldn't have been possible for him to see that. He had to get out; out of Lima, out of Carmel High, out of Ohio. As far away from her as possible. No, she couldn't do that to him, she wasn't allowed! His anger returned again. He wished, he could just jump from the stage, run over to her and tell her his opinion, show what she had done to him, since she obviously considered only herself to be the victim. He had to focus, they wouldn't win it otherwise.
[Guitar Solo]
(Oooh yeah, Oooh yeah)
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters to me
He had returned to the normal Vocal Adrenaline-way of singing and performing. Like a robot, he sang those lines and wondered if that would be how it would feel like in the upcoming years. Cold, empty,hurt. It, didn't matter, he couldn't stand it anymore; returning to his robotic style had been the only way to put on that mask of coldness without arousing suspicion. She looked even more hurt. Did she understand him that bad after all?
Any way the wind blows...
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So? What do you think? "Argh, screw ya, don't torture us anymore with that bad style of yours!" or "It was kinda good, so go on!"? Tell me:) Because Reviews are love :D and otherwise I won't know whether to go on or not :)
Oh, and check my project together with SeverusKatze. It ain'this fandom, but maybe you'll like it :)
