The three girls were squished in the back seat. Penny looked over and saw that Bernadette was snoring, her head lolling against the window. Amy was looking out the other window, lost in her own thoughts Penny supposed. Thoughts about things in Petri dishes or thoughts about the night they just had? Penny couldn't tell.
She couldn't stop thinking about the conversation between Amy and Raj. They'd all been at the bar, and somehow the conversation came around to loneliness. Raj had said, "Sometimes I get so lonely, I sit on my left hand until it goes numb then I put it in my right hand and pretend I'm holding hands with another person." Than Amy told him, "I do that to. Sometimes the left hand tries to cop a feel… and I let it."
When she was in high school, Penny didn't think she would ever be lonely in her life. She was popular and always invited to the parties, had tons of friends. She had been sure she would come out to California and get famous, and never be alone.
Then reality hit and she kept getting rejected at auditions and dating jerks. Hanging out with Leonard and the guys had been a lifeline to her, even though she didn't often show it.
The same lifeline that Amy continue to remind her Penny was for her… She had Sheldon, Penny knew, but Sheldon was Sheldon, he wasn't exactly touchy-feely. And Amy was a really good friend, if kind of annoying sometimes.
"Amy?" Penny said.
"Huh?" Amy turned her head to look at Penny, the look she always had, when she looked at Penny, like Penny was the greatest thing in the world.
"Don't take this the wrong way, okay?" Penny said. She didn't want to make Amy think she was interested in more than friendship, Penny wasn't ready to go there, that was somewhere she would never go. But she didn't want Amy to think that she was alone. Cuz that wasn't true.
"Very well." Penny could see some sort of shields going up in Amy's eyes, was she preparing herself for something bad? Criticism? Hurt?
But that's not what Penny wanted to do. Gingerly, she reached out her hand, not looking down at it, not trying to give it more importance than it should, hoping Amy wouldn't blow things out of proportion. Oh, hell, just do it! Penny told herself.
She grabbed Amy's hand in hers and held it between them.
Amy looked down and Penny couldn't see her expression, but when she looked up again, she saw her eyes a bit watery.
Penny smiled nervously. "It's just, you know, a friendship thing."
Amy nodded, not speaking, then turned her head back to gaze out of the window. She didn't let go of Penny's hand. After a moment, Penny heard a whisper.
"Thanks, bestie."
