Author's note:

Well, this is my first story, so I apologise in advanced it it's not up to par with perhaps your expectations. I found this story on my lap top, which I had started to write a while back ago, so some of it may be a little bit sketchy on a few parts, but other than that, I decided to upload it and see what will happen. So enjoy, don't forget to review and tell me what you think of it, much appreciated.

Bella Swan: 19 years old, sister to Emmett, ex-girlfriend of Edward's, currently single.

Emmett Swan: 21 years old, older brother of Bella, currently dating Rosalie Hale.

Alice Cullen: 19 year old, adoptive sister of Edward, currently dating Jasper Whitlock.

Edward Cullen: 20 years old, adoptive brother of Alice, currently dating Tanya, ex is Bella.

Rosalie Hale: 20 years old, sister of Jasper, currently dating Emmett, ex-boyfriend is Phil Dwyer.

Jasper Whitlock: 20 years old, twin brother of Rosalie, currently dating Alice Cullen.

Phil Dwyer: 22 years old, currently dating Renee (Bella's mum and forty years old), ex-girlfriend Rosalie Hale.

Bella's POV

'My life fucking sucked,' was the only thought that replayed through my mind over and over. I felt like shit, and blasting music through earphones could only help so much. I received several dirty looks from people on the subway. They hurriedly looked away when I glared. Fuck. Off.

My life sucked so fucking badly, that I had to run away from Renee and Phil – ugh, just thinking about his name makes me want to pinprick myself to death- to some town in Alaska to live with my older brother, Emmett. I hope he would be chill about the surprise visit – actually, fuck that, I didn't care if he was fine with it or not. When he left for Alaska, we weren't exactly on speaking terms, simply because he took Rosalie, his girlfriend, side of the story over mine. I know he's my brother, but . . . what a fucking dickhead!

Flashback

Rose and I were thoroughly enjoying ourselves at 'the party of the year' as Phil had dubbed it.

"To the two hottest bitches at this party!" Rosalie shouted and we toasted our sodas together and laughed.

Out of nowhere, Rosalie shouted over the music, "I think Phil is cheating on me!"

I let out a shocked gasp.

"There is no way he's cheating on you, Rosalie! I've seen the way he looks at you . . . he loves you."

She looked doubtful for a second. "I guess you're right," she said, but her tone faltered and I knew she was simply just saying that.

"Hey, Bella." Edward was suddenly in front of me, his arms finding my waist and his lips touching my forehead. I lean up against him, my head fitting into the crook of his neck. I couldn't help but breathe in his heavenly scent.

"I love you, Edward," I whispered into his ear as he gently hoisted me up off my feet.

"I love you too," he murmured back to me. The music around us seemed to fade and reality tuned itself out as I fell into the bottomless ocean of vivid green eyes.His head dipped down to meet mine. There was a fire ignited within me as his lips devoured my own, and I couldn't help but grab his hair and shove him closer.

"Ahem." Oops. I disentangled myself from Edward's body and he groaned in protest. I had forgotten Rosalie was still standing in front of me. Sometimes, when I was with Edward, it felt overwhelming. He was the most serious I could imagine getting with anyone. I trusted him with my life. I wanted to give him everything. Yeah, virginity included.

"Phil!" Rosalie squealed. I overlooked and saw a body wrapping itself around her from behind. She turned around and managed to give Phil a kiss on the cheek. In all my life, I had never seen Rosalie look so happy before.

The pair sat down on a leather couch across from Edward and I, who currently had me sitting with my legs tucked underneath me on his lap.

"Hey Bella," he smiled at me. I managed a polite hello in return, and snuggled my head back into Edward's muscular chest.

I just lay there against Edward for a few blissful minutes, before my phone vibrated, alerting me of a new text message. It was from Phil.

Hey, got a gift 4 Rosalie. Want 2 cum with me and get it?

I sat up on Edward's lap, and texted back.

Okay, sure.

"Rosalie, babe, I'll go grab us some drinks. Bella, want to come help me?" Phil looked at me expectantly.

"Sure." I pecked Edward on the cheek before ducking into the crowd, with Phil leading the way. As we neared the spiralling staircase, the music became horrendously loud.

"It's upstairs," Phil screamed, and I managed a nod and followed him up. We reached his room and he closed the door behind us. I shot him a questioning look, but his back was turned to me.

"Where's her gift? I bet you got her a bracelet or-" Phil suddenly attacked me. He grabbed my arms and pinned me against the wall, his lips rough against mine. I claw and shove him away as best as I could.

"What the fuck!" I shrieked at him.

"Come on, let's have some fun. You know you want it." Phil kept his arms pinned on each side of me. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and licked his lips. I was close to vomiting.

"Phil, what the hell do you think you're doing? You're with Rosalie!"

"Oh, come on, Bella!" Phil groaned out in exasperation. I shuddered as he leaned into my hair and breathed me in. "You're way hotter than Rose," he whispered to me. I was disgusted and so fucking repulsed that my limbs were close to trying to commit suicide right there on the spot.

"You sick bastard," I seethed, my eyes turning into slits. I shoved him off of me, which took a great deal of effort, and stumbled towards the door. I was viciously yanked back by Phil and once again assaulted by his lips. "NO!" I gasped out, clawing at his steel-hard chest.

But it was no use. He pushed me back roughly onto his bed, his weight holding me down as I tried to push up. "That feels good," he moaned. I felt so disgusting, so scared. So I cried.

"STOP! Please, Phil, stop! Please! STOP!" By now I was hysterical. I struggled against his grip. No matter how much I shoved, pushed, screamed, shrieked, cried, he revelled in it. That night, I became tarnished. Tainted. My innocence was gone. I was powerless against Phil. He raped me and that was that.

I think I fell unconscious after the fifth time, because by the time I woke up, it turned into pandemonium. Rosalie walked in. She saw me, naked under the sheets, with an asleep Phil's arms tightly wrapped around me.

"Rosalie – " Tears began to well up. I was so desperate to tell her what happened. What he did to me.

"You fucking slut!" she screamed, and raged at Phil's room, violently smashing a vase. It would take an army of chainsaws to wake Phil.

"Wha . . . ? Rose, it's not what it looks like," I stuttered, trying to untangle myself from the sheets.

She cut me off again. "You stupid fucking backstabbing whore! Phil cheated on me with you? And here I thought you had dropped Phil home! You send me a fucking text saying you left to drop him home, and then half an hour later you text me again saying you've crashed at home yourself, and look what I fucking find! You ugly bitch! Wait until Edward finds out just how cold hearted and how whorish you really are!" Angry tears slid down her face. I was sure my mouth hung open. I barely said a word about what happened. She didn't even let me explain. Fucking Phil, that bastard.

"I thought you were my friend, Bella." Her voice dropped into a choked whisper. Without a moment's hesitation, she grabbed a water bottle off the table next to her and hurled it at Phil's head. He groaned, tightening his grip on me involuntarily. I shuddered out of disgust. It pissed Rosalie off even more. "Wake up, you asshole!"

He was startled awake. "The fuck?" he sputtered, bolting upright.

"We're through!" she shrieked. And then she ran.

Phil remained in bed. I just lost my best friend. And my boyfriend. As I opened the door, re-dressed and tears pouring silently, Phil spoke. "You know you wanted it. You're mine now. A dirty slut. No one will ever want you." I fled for my life.

Emmett was asleep when I arrived home, and I tried my hardest to scrub the feeling of Phil off my body. The body of a whore. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I was a dirty whore, and this dirty feeling would never go away.

I dressed in sweatpants and a jumper to hide the bruises. Every part of my body ached and rippled in pain as I lay down in bed. I fell asleep, crying and dreaming of horrors I never knew existed until last night.

When I was woken up by so much pain the next day, I vowed to tell Edward what happened. Phil had set it up so perfectly to look like we were having an affair. And I knew people would believe Phil more, after all, he had more authority, seeing as he was three years older than me. Technically it counted as child-rape, seeing as I was seventeen and Phil was twenty. I hoped Edward knew me better than that and believed me. I tried to close my eyes and find slumber, but each time I did, the memories found its way to repeat itself over and over.

I made myself still and silent as Emmett approached my door.

"Good morning, Bellsy," Emmett boomed, picking me up out of my bed and into a bear hug. I bit my lip and tried not to gasp at the sudden explosion of pain all over my body. I tried not to hyperventilate, either.

Phil had similar physical structure to Emmett, and even though Emmett was my brother, I wasn't sure what to expect anymore.

"Morning Emmy."

"What's wrong?" Damn it. Emmett and I were so close, so of course he knew something was up. But I didn't have the heart to tell him. He'd look at me like Rosalie had. But he was my brother? Couldn't I trust my own brother anymore?

"Nothing, I just feel a little sick." I closed my eyes, and tried to stop the tears that threatened to come undone. He hesitated as he turned the handle of my door. He definitely knew it was something deeper than that. But he just left. I guess we weren't close after all.

My tears hardened a few moments later when I heard Emmett and Edward arguing outside. Oh God. Not now.

"Dude, she's sick. I think you guys can last one day without seeing her." Guys? Who else was outside my door? My fears intensified. Phil?

"I need to talk to her," Edward stated firmly, holding his ground. Please, Emmett, don't let them in, I begged silently in my head.

"Emmett, let Edward talk to her," Rosalie demanded. Shit. There was no way I was going to survive this. Emmett and Rosalie were best friends, so of course he obeyed her. I always thought the two of them would end up together, but now I was hoping that Emmett would just hate her for making me cry, as pathetic as it sounds.

There was a knock on my door. I freaked out. "Go away, I don't feel so good." My voice cracked twice, but I guess it gave me a more sickly effect. Regardless, my door was pushed open and Edward strode in and slammed the door behind him. The sound made me jump and instantly reminded me of when Phil locked us in. I breathed raggedly and kept my head firmly on the mattress, looking at the wall.

"Bella." I never heard him so angry before. He knew.

"Yes?" I sat up and looked at him. I was momentarily stunned at how calm I sounded. I should've been in hysterics and begged Edward to kill Phil by now.

"Did you really?" It wasn't really a question; more of an accusation. He actually thought I was capable of doing such a thing. I couldn't say anything now. I felt ashamed. If I told him Phil raped me, he'd probably laugh harshly in my face.

"You slut."

"What?" I felt like I had been hit by a freight train.

"Slut," he spat out bitterly. The impact was similar to a freight train plunging through me and tearing me in half. "It's what you call someone who cheats on their boyfriend and hurts their best friend. We're finished, Bella. Don't call me, don't try and see me. I never want to speak or even look at you again."

He abruptly left, slamming the door in the process. Memories hit me over and over, and the tears wouldn't stop.

Apparently Emmett went out to dinner with Rosalie and Edward later on that night. He didn't even bother to check with me beforehand. When he came home, he yelled at me.

"How the hell could you do that to Edward? To Rosalie?" His voice had rose, incredulous with each passing syllable, reaching its peak at the mention of Rosalie. He blamed me for Rosalie's sadness. No one even suspected Phil. They had forgiven him. He claimed I seduced him. No one cared that I was underage, or that Phil was strong and I was not.

Everything just jumped from bad to worse. Emmett became distant from me, and spent all his time with Rosalie. Eventually, the two hooked up and made their relationship official. Emmett didn't even look at me by that point. Everyone had abandoned me. There was honestly no doubt about it. All ties had been cut. No one wanted to look at me, to talk to me. No one trusted me anymore. I couldn't take it. One time, when I stumbled over my own feet in the bathroom and accidentally cut my wrist against the razor near the bathtub, I was suddenly aware of the moment of clarity that I had. I focused on the pain, and nothing but the pain. It became a habit after a while. Then the pain became too much, so then regular visits to the pharmacy also became a habit. Until that habit became full-fledged. No one knew, no one cared to know, and I didn't feel obliged to show the world. I hid my dirty little secrets as best I could.

My distaste in clothes became more prominent as I resorted to wear black all the time. It was bleak. It blended in. Nothing really to it. Like me, I suppose.

I could tell that Emmett wanted me completely out of his life. It hurt, but I was a whore, right? I was reminded harshly, on a rare occasion they'd talk to me, only to tell me that I was nothing but a dirty whore who fucks everyone over and ruins everything she touches. One night I just packed all my stuff and trudged down the stairs, but was stopped in my tracks by drifting laughter.

The laughter suddenly stopped when I walked into the room. Emmett had his arm around Rosalie's shoulder while Alice and Jasper sat next to each other.

Jasper turned away, a glint of shame etched into his face. A short pulse of anger surged; I had tried talking to Jasper about it, but he always mumble some sort of excuse to leave me alone to all of my problems.

When I turned my eye to the left of me, my breath was cut short. Edward was with another girl. She had strawberry blonde hair and flawless teeth that she bared at me in a slightly open mouthed glare. I realised everyone – apart from Jasper - was glaring at me. I brushed my hair over my face, yanked my hood up higher over my head, and lifted my suitcase. So much for Edward not ever wanting to see my face again. I guess parading a blonde bitch around hurt just as much.

"Where are you going?" I stopped dead in my tracks. It had been the first thing Emmett had said to me in what felt like months. It was mainly Rosalie reminding me I was a whore, along with Alice. Emmett never joined in, nor did he stop it. I simply did what he had done to me over the past weeks, months: ignore and leave.

I was putting my suitcases into the back of my beat up truck when I was startled by Emmett suddenly behind me. A sliver of hope found its way to my near dead heart. Did he want me stay?

"Bella, where are you going?" Everyone was listening by the door.

"Is that all you have to fucking say?" I snapped back at him.

"What the fuck is your problem, Bella?" My problem? Was he fucking serious? He never noticed his sister stumbling around in the bathroom, puking her guts out? Of course not, he was always out with Rosalie.

Instead of trying to convince me to stay like I hoped he would, he grabbed my last suitcase and threw it into the truck.

"Fuck it, fine. Go, I don't care. Come back when you can tell me what's wrong with you," he whispered to me.

I ended up driving from Forks to Phoenix to live with Renee. Living with her was certainly eventful. I barely said a word to her, but she could talk my ear off for hours on end. I lived with her for about a year. She always gushed about this guy that she had started to date, named Phil. It was a coincidence and I didn't think twice about it, until Renee asked him to move in. It was the same Phil that raped me and made my life hell. I completely panicked when I saw him, but I hid it from Renee. Hell, I hid everything. All the punches, kicks, touches, screams, bruises, blood – Renee never found a thing. One night it was just too horrible. I packed a bag of things and bolted through a window to catch a plane to Alaska. Renee always sent Emmett a Christmas card, so I already knew his address.

When I managed to get off the subway, I caught my reflection in one of the bathroom mirrors. I was wearing black skinny jeans and a threadbare black sweater that clung to my skin and hid all the bruises. I had dyed my hair black, and I got it permanently straight. I didn't want any resemblance to the old Bella. Only the brown pain-filled eyes and battered Converse remained.

Throughout the entire taxi ride, I wondered how Emmett would react. So many scenarios ran through my mind, and by the time I pulled up to the house, I had freaked myself out. The huge-ass intimidating house didn't help. I double checked the address. Yeah, it really was his place. Holy shit. It was big. I nervously rung the door bell, and yanked the sleeves over my hands, biting my lip. Emmett answered the door. His eyes widened in shock.

"I got kicked out. Could I, uh, crash here for a bit?" I didn't want to delve into details, so I hoped Emmett didn't question how. Of course he wouldn't. He hates me. Come to think of it, how was I when I thought of this idea? He just stood there silently. I really should have just stayed in Phoenix.

"Um, okay. Bye," I let out awkwardly. I felt uncomfortable as I turned around.

"Fine. But only for a few weeks," Emmett let out reluctantly with animosity spiked under his words. I was still not forgiven, I thought bitterly. Thankfully, nothing about me 'sorting my shit out' was mentioned.

I entered the house, and Emmett dawdled behind me. I was surprised he didn't ask about me at all. Not my appearance or where I've been lately. I would have asked him if he had won the lottery to pay for this house, but the old Bella was dead. Seemed like the old Emmett was, too.

"Third floor, second door on your right," Emmett deadpanned. He didn't even bother to look at me as he side-stepped by.

I dumped the small quantity of clothes I managed to salvage: Three pair of jeans, two shirts, two hoodies, some pyjamas and other essentials. Those other essentials would entail being as such: my razors, my journal that I wrote in every day since the event happened, a mixture of pills, all of my cocaine, and of course, my fake ID.

With a groan, I realised that I would have to find a new drug dealer if I actually managed to stay here for a few weeks. I glanced down at my things and frowned. I had some stuff in the bag from my previous move in with Renee. It was a necklace with a pure encrusted diamond 'E' on a long thing silver chain and a photograph of Edward tenderly kissing my forehead as I crinkled my nose in mock protest. Subconsciously, I held it up in my hands, scrutinizing it.

It was my birthday, the day that I despised the most. Edward was taking me to his house for it. In my ignorant state, I couldn't fathom why. I learnt why through a close heart attack when I opened the door and everyone yelled at me. "Surprise!"

I squealed in fright, my nails quarrying into Edward's arm. By the time I realised, my face was bright red from embarrassment.

"Happy birthday, Bella!" Alice and Rosalie greeted me with hugs. Jasper gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and a tight hug.

"Happy birthday, Jezebel."

"Thank you, Jazz." We shared a warm smile and another embrace. He gave me another quick peck, before pointing towards the monstrosity that was indeed my brother. Emmett was making his way through the throng of people to give me his infamous bear hug.

"Emmett, can't breathe," I gasped out as he crushed my ribs, squeezing the shit out of me. His booming laughter reverberated inside the large Cullen mansion. Emmett gently let me down, and Edward pulled me back into his arms.

"Show me a bit of love," Alice said, waggling her eyebrows as she held a camera in front of her face. Edward kissed the top of my head, his hand around my waist poking me lightly, which made me laugh a little and scrunch my nose up in a mock-manner. The flash indicated it was done, and Edward handed me a blue parcel. I gasped when the present was revealed. A stunning 'E' lay on a bed of satin, and Edward slowly lifted it out of the box. He breathed all over my neck as he let it rest in between the hollow of my breasts, and I shivered as he gave me a lingering kiss before placing my wavy hair back down.

"So you'll always have me," he whispered into my ear before pulling me closer to him.

"Thank you, I love it, Edward." I kissed him with a slight fervour that wouldn't let up, until Emmett somehow wedged in between us. The woes of having an extremely protective older brother. I shooed Emmett off before he could cause any permanent embarrassing damage.

"I have one too, Bella." Edward untucked a chain necklace that had the letter 'B' on it. He slid it back underneath his shirt. I smiled at him. It wasn't just a simple smile. It was a smile that I pushed everything I couldn't convey words into. I couldn't have been happier.

My hands dived back into the bag, rummaging for a small bag of coke. I always thought about too much shit when I wasn't high. With a triumph 'aha!' I produced a small baggie. I prepared it with my fake ID, laughing at the irony of it, and snorted it with a five dollar note. My high kicked in after a few minutes. My hands kept twitching of its own accord and my heart began to thump erratically.

A knock on my door made me snap my head in its direction in the most painful way. Shit. Emmett could not see me like this. I turned and glanced at my doubled self in the mirror. From what I could see, my eyes appeared dilated.

"Bella, household meeting downstairs," he hollered through the door.

"Bella," he yelled, irritated this time.

"I'm in the shower," I screamed back and fumbled with the faucet.

"There is no shower in your room." What the hell is he talking about? There's one right next to my dresser! Wait, what? I was seeing things.

"I'll be out in a few minutes; I'm taking a freaking shower!" I heard Emmett sigh through the door and leave. For twenty minutes, I sat on the edge of my bed, fidgeting and having small spasms of laughter. I could feel the high began to wear off, so I stumbled past the mirror, and nearly tripped down the stairs. Whoa, this shit was strong.

My vision became a little blurred as I tried to find the living room. Finally, I arrived, and squinted. What the fuck?

"Took you long enough," Emmett mumbled under his breath. I gazed around the room, my eyes going somehow managing going wider than they already were. Fuck. Rosalie, Alice, and Edward were there glaring at me. Jasper remained mute, dully fiddling with the dog tag around his neck. The strawberry blonde girl I saw how many months ago was there, too.

She looked smug as she twirled her necklace. It had 'E' on it as well. My heart thumped. It plummeted down to my stomach, an unknown force striking me downwards. I held my ground, swallowing hard, refusing to let tears streak my face. I was no longer worthy. An 'E' meant nothing anymore. It didn't help that when I looked at Edward, my heart began to constrict. I bit my lip, refusing to cry.

Jasper sent me an odd look as he eyed my twitching hands. I hooked my sleeves over my thumb and stifled back a glare amidst my glistening eyes.

"Look, Bella," Emmett started off, rubbing his neck. I bit my lip nervously. He was kicking me out, wasn't he? In front of everyone. "If you want to stay here, you're going to have to pay $1500 per month." My jaw dropped. I knew he hated me, but seriously? I was his little sister. I remembered Emmett protecting me from everything. I guess I really didn't have a place in his heart anymore. Was this what it really came down to?

"Of course, if that's too much, you can just leave. No one really wants you here anyway. Emmett's obligated since he's related to you, but you're still a backstabbing slut to the rest of us." There it was. The reminder everyone was dying to say. I guess Rosalie was sick of bullshit and voiced her opinions out now.

I glanced at her with dead eyes, and wandered upstairs in a daze. I was shaking as I grabbed for my razor. I pushed my sleeves up, revealing my arms that were covered in countless of bruises, marred by scars and bandages. Everyone still hated me, my mind screamed. Jasper doesn't speak to me anymore. He can't even look at his best friend in the eye. Edward's moved on to someone who's perfect for him – a WOMAN who was physically flawless. He'll always find me repulsive. Tears fell and the razor deepened. I had to let all this shit out somehow. At least I hid it well with gauze. I flipped to a new page in my diary.

May 13th Saturday, 2008

I've finally made it to Emmett's. He hates me, but how can I hate him? He's my brother still. I think it's just Rosalie's fault. She's brainwashed everyone into hating me. Jasper can barely look at me, and now Edward's got some perfect blonde bimbo on his arm. Why? I still love him. I wish I didn't.

Even Alice is harsh towards me. She doesn't even know the whole story! No one does. And plus, I have to pay $1500 rent money. Yeah, that's the extent to how much Emmett must despise me. Do you know how much smack I could get for that?

First thing Rosalie says to me is that I'm a slut. It hurts, because it's true. Even Phil found me repulsive. I'm such a fucking waste of space.

Stupid, worthless whore.

Well, thanks for reading, not really sure about this one, it is my first time writing a FanFiction story, so reviews would be much appreciated! :)