Well, this whole Carlisle/Rosalie idea started out between my friend and I as a joke. It was late and we were watching Twilight and yeah...you know how that goes. Lol! So I finally decided to just write a story about it. A crazy little idea I know but, hopefully it will give you a few chuckles. If you guys like then it may turn into a one-shot series. Enjoy!
CPOV
"Alright Carlisle, you're up." Edward said from behind me. I grabbed the baseball bat and stepped up to the plate.
"Don't mess up..." I heard my wife harassfrom her position as catcher. I could hear the playfulness in her voice. I smiled to myself as I looked towards Jasper who was pitching today.
I heard Emmett yell from his place in the outfield, "Pops! If you make it all the way home on this pitch whoop-dee-doo, but if you DON'T make it home..." he threw me an evil grin that terrified me… I knew something awful was coming, "I'll tell the nurses at the hospital you wear boxer briefs," he finished. Oh... no. He had to be kidding.
"You wouldn't dare Emmett." I said to my son, trying unsuccessfully to sound confident.
"Oh yes... I would." He replied slowly and menacingly with a smile on his face. I felt myself gulp. Just the thought of having the nurses stare at me even more than they do now...thinking God only knows what... caused my stomach drop. They would have a field day with this news. I also knew how Emmett's world famous dares and bets went though, I had been subject to enough of them to know that if you denied him his fun, he would make you pay. Dearly.
"Fine Emmett..." I mumbled, not amused by my son's humor. I had faith in myself. I can make it home. Easy…..I think.
I took a deep breath and positioned myself, waiting for Jasper to pitch. He was smirking- of course he would be entertained by Emmett's childish antics. He wound up slowly (and very dramatically might I add) before he let the ball fly. I swung with all my strength, praying to God that it was enough to land the ball in at LEAST Port Angeles. I'd probably need it to fly that far to keep my son's mouth shut.
I took off in a sprint, fairly certain I had never run so fast in my vampire life. My manhood was on the line, if those nurses found out…. I quickly cleared my head. I needed to focus.
First base.
Shew! One down. Please God please….The wind flew through my hair as I stared down second base. Almost halfway there.
Second base.
I stole a quick glance in the direction the ball had rocketed. Edward was standing in the outfield and had his back turned to me facing the woods. Emmett was gone. Of course he had to go after the ball, it was just my luck. I knew he would do everything in his power to get me out before I reached home.
Third. I tried running faster but I was already at top speed. I begged my legs to move quicker. Almost there. Almost there.
I was ten feet away from home base when I sprang forward. I slid through the dirt right into home. Oh sweet Lord…home base. Thank you thank you thank you thank you. I was so relieved I clutched the base to my chest and just lay in the dirt on my back, a content smile on my face. Relief washed over me. Suddenly a high pitched giggle interrupted my peace. Alice.
My eyes shot open and I saw my wife standing over me, looking down with a smirk. "You're out."
WWHHHAAAATTTT? Panic flooded me and I jumped to my feet.
"No. Way. I was completely safe!" I yelled.
"YOU WERE OUT!" Emmett roared while sprinting toward me from across the field.
"Absolutely not! I was safe!" I heard my family erupt in laughter.
Edward choked out, "Carlisle. I'm sorry, but you were out. Barely. But you were out."
"Those nurses won't be able to keep their hands off of you come Monday!" Emmett said. Esme cleared her throat, giving our rowdiest child a stern look, but Emmett was doubled over in laughter. I desperately looked towards my wife. Certaintly she wouldn't approve of Emmett's bet, but she simply gave me a sympathetic smile. Even she knew there was no point.
I hung my head in defeat. I knew it was a lost battle from the beginning. I growled in frustration.
Finally Esme had a change of heart and came to my rescue. "Alright alright alright," she said. A few of the laughs died down but Jasper, Edward, and Emmett were still snickering. Boys.
With a smile plastered to her face Alice said, "The storm is about to pass. We should probably stop." Suddenly she froze and her eyes glazed over. A vision. Jasper quickly rushed to her side, gently holding her arm, letting her know he was there. We all watched and waited for her to return to us, we were all used to her sudden visions and knew the only thing we could do was wait. I was grateful the attention was off of my embarrassment for a few short moments. Only seconds later Alice's vision ended and she shook her head. Her eyes immediately met mine and then shot to Rosalie for only a moment before returning to me. She burst out laughing with a volume that seemed unnatural for someone as small as her. We all stood completely confused and waited anxiously for her to tell us what she had seen. Alice had never had such a reaction to one of her visions.
Alice cleared her throat and said, "Well, like I said…" she looked at me and another laugh escaped her lips. What the hell is so funny? I wondered. I had enough of people laughing at me for the day. "…Sorry. The storm is passing. Someone has to stay to clean up the equipment." Her eyes shot expectantly to me again and the rest of the family followed suit.
"Okaaayy then. Guess I'm staying." I said. I guess it's not all that bad of a deal, it keeps me from having to ride in a car with my snickering children.
"I'll stay to help too." Rosalie chimed in. Alice immediately erupted into laughter before taking off towards Emmett's jeep.
"You two have fuuunnnnnn!" She said in a sing-songy voice before adding, "But not too much fun!"
Too much fun? I rolled my eyes and sighed. Why do did we have so many children?
When the jeep had pulled away I looked over to Rosalie who I noticed had been looking at me. "Thanks," I said.
"Yeah, no problem. I figured you had suffered enough today," she said with a smile and took off to gather the bases.
Maybe if I didn't show up to work for a few days, say I got sick, maybe the nurses would forget…. Ha! Carlisle you're kidding yourself. They will have the images of you in boxers engrained in their minds as soon as Emmett blabs, I thought to myself asI gathered the baseball bats. My mind raced as I tried to figure out what I was going to do about the extra hormonal women I was now forced to deal with during my shift on Monday, and Tuesday, Wednesday, and probably the rest of the time we lived here in Forks.
Suddenly I felt a presence close behind me. "That's a pretty big bat you've got there, want some help with that?" someone whispered seductively in my ear. I jumped around, startled by the sudden realization that I wasn't alone. I had completely forgotten Rosalie was even anywhere around me. I stared at her with wide eyes. Did she just…...No. Impossible.
"Um, yeah, sure." I said unsurely. I was still hung up not only on what she had said but how she had said it. It sounded a little…. Sexual? Carlisle these nurses, who are ALWAYS sexual, are getting in your head. Get yourself together old man. Rosalie was now holding the few baseball bats we brought, and I quickly grabbed the bat bag and held it open for her. I was feeling a little awkward after what she had just said, so I kept my eyes on the bag. I knew she hadn't meant it in a weird way, but still. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that Rosalie was frozen, and after a few seconds I was forced to look up. She was staring at me. I looked uneasily into her eyes, waiting for her to move or do something, anything. The awkwardness was rising and I couldn't take it anymore. I quickly looked back down.
Suddenly the bat bag was ripped from my hands. My head shot up and before I knew what was happening Rosalie's hands were on my chest and pushing my backwards. I was so taken aback that I stumbled slightly, something very unnatural for a vampire.
I didn't have a chance to speak before her lips were suddenly pressed against mine. I was frozen. I didn't know what was happening, let alone what to do. When my brain finally caught up with my body I pushed her away. "What are you doing?" I yelled, my voice full of shock and panic. She didn't take a moment to answer before she was inches away from me again. I tried to push her away again but she grabbed my arms and pinned them to my sides.
"Carlisle…." She said in a sultry voice. Oh….my….god, I thought to myself. She looked at me for a few seconds before moving her hands to my chest again. I started hurriedly backing up, staring at her with wide disbelieving eyes.
"Rosalie…. Stop. We can't. What are you doing?" I shouted as my voice shot up a few octaves. She grabbed me by my collar and yanked me towards her. "STOP!" I shouted, unable to think of anything else to do. I didn't want to hurt her in my attempt to get away, but she was lessening my options very quickly.
"What?" she said innocently. "No one's around. It's ok," She said reassuringly. I couldn't believe this. What was happening? I quickly remembered something. Perfect. I grabbed her by the wrists and yanked her hands from my collar, ripping it in the process. I took off running, grabbing one of the baseball bats as I flew past where she had dropped them. I could hear her catching up behind me and I spun around. I pointed the bat straight at her, creating space between us. She was at a standstill as she looked at my defenseless weapon.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Rosalie. I don't know what you're doing…. Or what's going on," I nervously glanced behind me, "but you obviously are not in your right mind."
She threw a flirty smile my way before saying, "Oh I know exactly what I'm doing." She took a few steps towards me and I echoed her movements. She took a step forward, I took a step backwards. "Ok Carlisle, this 'let's play hard to get' game is cute, but it's gotta end. Now." She sprang towards me but I quickly ducked out of her reach. By the time I turned around she was already coming at me again. It was like some sick game of predator and prey… and I was losing. I started swinging the bat back and forth in front of me in the space that separated us. I was getting desperate, and this tiny baseball bat was all I had to protect myself. Rosalie was younger than me, stronger and faster. There was no way I would get away from her if she really tried. And by the look on her face now, she was about to start really trying.
"Rosalie. Please stop! What about Emmett?" She didn't respond, obviously not too worried about Emmett at the moment. I continued moving backwards and swinging the bat at her. Rosalie was tired of my "games". She leaped forward, grabbed the end of the bat and sent it hurling through the air towards the other end of the field. Oh damn.
I was still looking towards the direction where she sent the bat flying when I was suddenly thrown onto the ground. When I opened my eyes Rosalie was on top of me. She had my arms pinned at my sides, for good this time. I quickly tried to calm her with things like "You obviously aren't thinking clearly", "You have no idea what you're doing", and "What's Emmett going to say?" but it looked like all she heard was the monotone sounds of the teacher from Charlie Brown.
Then something happened. Rosalie stopped. I froze, almost afraid of why she stopped. But then I heard it. It sounded like angels singing from Heaven, angels that had come to save me from this strange version of Hell. A ringtone. Never in all my life had I ever been so happy to hear a cell phone ring. The sound was muffled, which tends to happen when it's smashed between yourself and the ground, but it was beautiful.
I gasped, exuberant to have an escape. "My phone! The phone!" I said with a smile. Rosalie let out a growl that sounded like it came from deep within her body. For a split second I came down from my high. I was afraid, not sure of what she would do. Suddenly her eyes flew to mine.
"Don't think this is over," she coldly said. I just stared up at her, unsure of what was going to happen next. She smirked, and then slowly reached her hand in my pocket. I closed my eyes and grimaced as her hand leisurely moved along my thigh. She took the phone out of my pocket, released one of my hands and handed it to me.
I flipped it open as quickly as possible and answered with a shaky but desperate "Hello?". I didn't care who the voice on the other end was, they were my savior.
"Carlisle? Are you ok?" It was Alice. My mind instantly kicked into gear. Did she know? She must know what's happening, especially if she's asking if I'm ok. Is THAT why she was laughing before? Is this what she saw in her vision? "Carlisle?" She was starting to sound panicked.
I narrowed my eyes. "Alice….." I growled.
The other end was silent for a few moments before a small hesitant voice came through, "Yeah?"
"Did you know….?" Completely silence. That was all I needed. I didn't care if Rosalie was right there or not. "ALICE! ARE YOU CRAZY?" Rosalie looked down at me and gave a low growl.
"I'm sorry I'm sorry! I thought it'd be funny I didn't know she would go crazy on you I'm so sorry Carlisle please don't be mad I didn't know I won't do it again I'm sorry!" She sputtered out at vampire speed.
"ALICE!" I shouted. It was silent again; she was probably waiting for me to keep yelling.
"Esme is asking for you. She's getting curious as to why you guys aren't home yet." I looked at Rosalie, knowing she had control of the situation and that she could hear Alice on the other end of the line. She was glaring at me. Not good. She suddenly stood up, but continued looking down at me. I stayed still, frozen on the ground in terror with the phone pressed to my ear. I wasn't sure if I should take off running or if it was just safer to stay where I was. Rosalie let out a huff, spun around, and made her way to the Mercedes. "You're safe," Alice's small voice said.
I let out a frustrated "Thanks," and slammed the cell phone shut. I slowly made my way to my feet. I was panting, and if my silent heart could beat it would be pounding out of my chest. Panic ran through my veins. What…just…happened? But I had no answer. No part of my brain could fathom what had overcome my daughter. All I knew was that I was thankful that Alice called when she did. I didn't want to think even for a moment about what Rosalie was planning on doing to me before the phone rang.
I debated on just running home, not positive if I wanted to be anywhere near Rose. That was partly because she was furious, and partly because I wasn't sure if I'd end up with all my clothes still intact afterwards. I decided to risk it, not wanting to make her any more irate, and walked at a human pace to the Mercedes. I paused at the door, fearful of what awaited me. I heard a growl from inside and quickly opened the door and sat in the driver's seat at vampire speed, not wanting to make her angrier.
It was a long long car ride home. Rosalie was fuming. I wasn't 100% sure why she was so mad, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to come up with a few guesses. I didn't want to know if she was more furious with Alice for interrupting, or me- I wasn't exactly the most cooperative "prey" she ever had I was sure. As soon as we made it down our driveway and I put the Mercedes into park Rosalie was out the door. She sprinted into the woods, I assumed to get away from me and to hunt.
What am I going to say to Esme? To Alice? Edward will certainly know by now I'm sure. I was convinced Rosalie had experienced some kind of delusion, and maybe it wouldn't happen again. Although who only knows what Rosalie had been thinking. Her father of all people? She loved Emmett, I was sure of it. I just didn't understand what had come over her. Thank God Alice had called.
By this time I was opening the front door and as soon as I stepped into the house I felt all eyes on me. Do they ALL know what happened? I stood in the doorway, and my fear began to rise again. I was terrified of the harassment I would receive of almost being molested by my own daughter. That or Emmett pounding me into a thousand pieces. Neither really seemed like good options to me at the moment.
"Carlisle?" I heard Esme say as she moved from her place on the couch and ran towards me. I winced when she reached me, completely expecting her to slap me….or worse. She didn't do anything though, and just looked at me with wide eyes.
"What happened to you?" Oh no, this was it. I opened my mouth to begin the explanation of what had transpired in the baseball field when Esme reached for the collar of my shirt.
"Why is your shirt ripped?" I looked down at her, mouth frozen open. "And why is your back covered in dirt?" I didn't know what to say. Where was the 'how could you do this to me Carlisle?' or 'get out of my house before I kill you myself'? I looked to the rest of my family who were, with the exception of Alice and Edward, looking at me with the same curious faces. I met Alice's eyes and she ever so slightly shook her head. Esme doesn't know…. I realized. I felt the relief flood my face, not that I wanted to keep things from my wife but….even I didn't know how I was going to explain away THIS problem. Hopefully Rosalie would wake up from whatever delusion that was controlling her brain, Alice and Edward would keep their mouths shut, and we could all go back to normal. Maybe. For now. The thing is life doesn't normally work out that well.
I looked down at my wife and smiled. I would take the hormonal nurses at the hospital over Rosalie any day.
Welp there you go! Thanks for reading till the end! Hopefully you enjoyed, reviews are very very welcomed! If you're a Carlisle fan you may want to check out my other story, Carlisle's Sacrifice. A lot more serious than this one but it's not too shabby if I do say so myself! =)
