Author's note; I just wanted to write a fic focusing on Steve and his mental health. He is always portrayed as someone who can't be broken and deals with trauma like it's nothing. So here's one with an emphasis on brokenness, pain and recovery.
Please leave a review! Means a lot.
[Chapter 1 - The End]
There are no good or bad people in the world. There are only people who have a choice. A choice between good or bad. No one is bad until they choose to be – or so Steve believed. Steve McGarrett had many thoughts, opinions and feelings about the world but most of the time he kept them hidden. Trained as a Navy SEAL, he was like a machine – just do, don't think, don't feel. Pull the trigger.
It was until one day, Steve had believed that. One day – one afternoon – in which Steve realized there were no monsters that did all the bad things and that there were no heroes to come and save the day. He realized there were people so ruthless, so sinister that bad wouldn't describe them. The word people couldn't describe them. He hoped they were monsters from a nightmare because he couldn't fathom how a man could press the cold gun against a little child's head and silence its screams with just one quick finger movement. Steve felt sick to his stomach. It was a different kind of sickness – not just nauseating, but the kind of sickness that made your whole body shiver in fear, shock, disgust and endless sadness. Steve McGarrett was a man who had seen many things in his life, a man who had done many things in his life – both good and bad – but the moment he saw the little child collapse on the floor, in front of the shooters feet – broke him.
Across the vast hall of the bank, on the polished linoleum floor, Danny Williams's eyes were staring numbly at his own legs as he was kneeling with his fingers intertwined on the back of his head. There was a gun aimed directly at his head. He glanced across the room, seeing Steve, Chin and Kono in the same position. Five men dressed in black were pacing across the hall with big guns in their hands. The sixth man was silently speaking on the phone, glancing at the twentysomething people lying on the floor with their faces buried in their hands, hiding from their stares. There was a group of school children with their two teachers, shaking on the cold floor, petrified to even make a sound.
It was just a school trip. Just a school trip. A school trip.
Danny's thoughts were chaotic. He couldn't stop thinking about the parents who sent their little babies to school that day, thinking how much fun they would have exploring the bank, museums, the police station… If only the bank wasn't on the itinerary that day. Danny's heart was racing, he kept rewinding all hostage situations in his head, the ones he had witnessed, and he tried to calm himself, thinking how they were all over. This one will be over too, he kept thinking.
"Hour's up, McGarrett," a deep voice echoed across the room, shoving the phone in his pocket. Steve's face went paler. There was no follow up to that, but the way he looked at Steve meant their demands weren't met.
We don't negotiate with terrorists.
Steve couldn't breathe. There was no way they would get what they had requested and the only promise they made, in case that happened, was to start shooting civilians. It wasn't unusual – Steve had seen it many times. It was like a textbook case. Except…
"Start," he ordered, calmly turning his head in the direction of a child who quietly asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom. They were both shaking, the teacher looked away from the men with gun and silently kept telling the boy to stop talking and just wait a little longer. One of the men, holding his rifle, paced in their direction. The boy couldn't stay silent much longer, he let out a loud cry as he was shaking.
Steve's eyes were set on the boy and the rifle.
He stopped breathing.
The man extended his hand and Steve closed his eyes, biting his tongue with all his strength.
Steve opened his blue eyes and the man pulled the trigger.
Tears streamed down Kono's face, Chin winced in shock and Danny stopped breathing.
"Hey," shouted Steve unbelievably loudly, suddenly standing up on his own two feet. Danny winced quicker than the rest but the men in black immediately aimed their guns at him. "I will get you what you want. Just one phone call. I'll get you what you want," he said hoarsely, barely being able to speak. The man smirked at him, holding his rifle tighter.
"You had one phone call, McGarrett," he simply replied. Steve bit his lip as his nostrils widened.
"I'll get you what you want," he repeated pleadingly, reaching his hand out. The man slowly walked up to him, glancing around him very carefully.
"One call."
Steve reached his hand, about to grab the phone from his hand, but suddenly grabbed the rifle in his other hand.
Chaos occurred.
The man hit the floor, dead, the rest of the team were already on their feet, trying to handle the other five armed men. The children were screaming as Danny managed to take the rifle from one of the armed men and shot his chest.
Suddenly the door burst open as the SWAT team rushed in, eliminating the rest of the armed men. Danny was dizzy, looking around him as the children scattered screaming, and the teachers ran along. There were six dead men on the floor, and Steve who was lying next to the boy who was shot. Steve's face was pressed against the cold linoleum, his stare was numb, his eyes were empty and his shirt was drenched in blood.
