"NOOOO!"

Laura Shepard emptied all of the thermal clips of her assault rifle towards the Collector vessel that was now headed through the shy. When the Illusive Man told her that Kaidan Alenko was going to be on Horizon along with a Collector ship, her stomach recoiled in terror. And now her worst fears had been realized… She was too late and Kaidan was aboard that ship.

Tears were falling out of her eyes almost as fast as the bullets were spitting out of her rifle. FUCKING GODDAMNIT! YOU SHOULD'VE RAN FASTER! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SLOWED DOWN! YOU PATHETIC WEAKLING! Laura has always been her own worst enemy. Now more than ever. She had just lost and failed the one person she's been thinking of ever since she woke up exactly 2 months ago today. Kaidan…

The bullets stopped. She weakly threw her gun to the ground and fell to her knees while she sobbed harder than she could remember. In this crazy, fucked up galaxy Kaidan was the one person she had memories of that could make her smile. And his eyes. His beautiful, soulful eyes made her stomach flip… And now she would never see them again.

Her ground squad, Miranda and Garrus, didn't realize what was going on until it finally hit them like a sack of hammers. Kaidan is on that ship. They looked at each other, mouths open in shock and sympathy. Miranda had grown attached to Shepard and thought of her as a sister, she had helped her find her real sister, in fact, and Shepard has thought of Miranda as a person ever since they had their first real conversation aboard the Normandy. That was all she ever really wanted. Not to be thought of as a tool. And Garrus was her brother in arms since they first met on the Citadel almost 3 years ago. After her help with Sidonis, after she didn't allow Garrus to kill him… It opened new doors and calmed him down. Shepard was a saint to him, always will be. But neither of them had ever seen Laura so distraught.

Just then, the mechanic they met before they arrived at the main guns, Delan, ran up behind them and said, "No! Don't let them get away!" This made Laura's blood boil… "Half the colony is in there! They got Egan and Sam and... and Lilith! Do something!"

Who was he to judge me? Did I not just fight through a goddamn platoon of Collectors so that he and whoever else is still on this god-forsaken planet makes it out alive? Ungrateful bastard…

Garrus tried to say something to make Delan shut the hell up but, Shepard lashed out, taking her pistol and shoving it in Delan's face before Garrus could utter so much as a syllable.

She pinned him against the nearest tall crate, making sure the gun was pointed right between his eyes, and roared in his face, "You think I can do something now? You think I don't WANT to do something now! Look at that fucking ship!" She screamed breathlessly, "It's going all the way to hell and beyond! If you wanted your friends safe so badly, then why didn't you pick up a gun and start shooting up some Collector ass instead of cowering in your fucking hidey-hole while everyone was getting packed in that damn ship for god-knows-what kind of heinous, alien experiments! HUH? YOU FUCKING COWARD!" That last phrase she said… YOU FUCKING COWARD!...was more meant for her than anyone else. Not only did she fail Kaidan, but she failed an entire colony, both the survivors… and the victims.

She loosened her grasp on Delan's uniform, holstered her hand cannon, and turned to go back to the Normandy until she heard the voice of a ghost, "Damn Laura… Two years dead and you can still scare the shit out of people. Hell, you even scared the shit out of me! I guess that's what ghosts are for, huh?"

She turned and froze, her violet eyes wide at the vision she saw before her. The man she had been thinking about for what seemed like millions of years was standing in front of her with the subtle, loving smile he always wore when he was with her.

His expression went stern as he turned towards the petrified mechanic, "Show some respect, Delan. This amazing woman and her squad just saved your life. You'd better be damn grateful."

Delan, still recovering from his "verbal smack-down" said, "All the good people we lost and you get left behind. Figures. I'm done with you asshole Alliance types." And the he stalks off.

The "ghost" walks towards Shepard and looks her in her tear-stained eyes and then he looks down, releasing a tear himself. Garrus taps Miranda on the shoulder and gives her a signal that says, "We should leave them alone". Miranda, uncharacteristically, agrees to leave the two to talk without an audience.

As soon as the peanut gallery is gone, Laura Shepard and Kaidan Alenko embrace for the first time in two years, one month, and twelve days. "Kaidan… I thought you were on that ship… I- I-"

"Shhh…" He cooed. "I'm here now."

She was shaking in his arms. She felt like she had just been hit in the stomach. He was gone… sort of. "Now you know what I've felt like for two whole years." He said choking back tears and ending their embrace.

"Kaidan I… I'm so sorry. I don't really know what else I can say to make it any better."

"No there's nothing you can say. Nothing you can do to make it better. It doesn't matter how many times you say you're sorry, it won't change anything." He said, anger building up and loving expression gone. "You died Laura… you died… and when you came back you didn't even try to contact me!"

She cut him off yelling, "I did too! I sent you a message every day for 2 months! You never replied but I kept trying. I would've found you myself but…"

"But what? Cerberus wouldn't let you?"

"You know?"

"Of course I know! When I heard rumors from Alliance Command that you weren't dead I hired some of the best information brokers to help me find the truth. And what they found… it was Cerberus rebuilding you. They're using you Laura. You're nothing but a tool to them."

"Maybe… but our people in Terminus are disappearing without a trace. And the Alliance is doing absolutely nothing about it!", she then said in a more gentle voice, "You've seen it yourself Kaidan. And if you need a reminder all you have to do is take a stroll through Freedom's Progress, New Canton, or even Horizon and you'll have all the evidence you need to say that something needs to be done fast and now."

He took in what she said, "I still can't believe you're with them, Laura…"

"You know me Kaidan. You still trust me don't you? I may have been dead for 2 years but… well. Let's just say Cerberus did a good job rebuilding me. I'm the same."

"I do trust you. It's Cerberus that I don't trust! Did you not hear what they did to the Quarian Flotilla? Do you not remember what monstrous experiments they did on Kohoku? These people are dangerous, Laura." He looked down, "I don't want to lose you again."

Laura smiled at this. He still cared. Even after all this time. She put her hand to his cheek and almost whispered, "You never lost me, Kaidan." He loved the way she said his name. "You never will. I promise."

They both noticed how close they had gotten to each other, and he started leaning in. Their finally met and for the first time in two years, Kaidan was absolutely happy. Nothing could soil that one moment.

When they broke the kiss, she asked with a hopeful smile, "You know Kaidan; there are some spots on the Normandy that need filling. I would truly appreciate it if you were to join me on my ship and become a part of my team and help stop these attacks from happening once and for all. Will you at least consider it?"

Kaidan was defiantly caught off guard be this. He was an Alliance soldier. Always would be. He had been one for years! The Council was even considering him for the Spectres in about a week… wait a second… That's it!

His head shot up and looked at Shepard and voiced his epiphany, "Shepard! I'm going to be accepted into the Spectres next week! And that means I can't be in the Alliance anymore!"

She said with a furrowed brow, "Ok 1, I was in the Alliance and I was a Spectre why the change? And 2, how is you not being an Alliance soldier anymore a good thing?

"When you were a Spectre and an Alliance officer the Council thought there was too much tug-of-waring going on with all of the missions for the Alliance we were doing. And they practically accused Hackett of slowing down the success of our main objective, which was Saren and all of this bullshit about saying that if they hadn't given us all of those assignments the Geth fleet wouldn't have made it to the Citadel… blah, blah, blah…"

"Ok that answers my first question, the second one however was that made me believe you weren't 'Commander Kaidan Alenko of the Alliance Military'."

"Well I won't be for long! Like I said, as soon as I'm accepted into the Spectres I won't be a part of the Alliance anymore! I'll be a Spectre! This means, I can do whatever mission I think needs to be done for the sake of galactic security!"

The light bulb over Laura's head finally produced light, "That means you can-"

"Yep", Kaidan said with a big smile.

She jumped into his arms deeply kissed him. "I love you, Kaidan" she whispered next to his ear.

"And I love you, Laura." Oh God, she missed hearing that.

"Do you need a ride to the Citadel?"

"I don't think that would be the most prudent decision, as much as I despise admitting it."

"Why?" she questioned with a quirked brow.

"Well, coming into the Citadel in a Cerberus marked vessel may ruin my chances of being a Spectre."

She sighed and said, "Fine… but you'll pay for saying no." She winked while he set her down.

"Looking forward to it." He said with a sly grin.

"I'd better be getting back to Miranda and Garrus. I bet they're expecting I show up in tears. Ha! Not a chance. We'll pick you up in a week. I want to be there when you're given a brand new title and a lot of nice guns."

"Laura?"

"Yes?"

"Is Cerberus really as bad as it was whenever we encountered them?"

A grin crept on to her face, "Not on my ship."

They said their final goodbyes and went their separate ways. When Miranda and Garrus saw her they thought they imagined her frantic outburst not even 45 minutes ago. She was as giddy as a school girl and with good reason. "Let's get back to the Normandy and I'll fill you in."

Later over the Normandy's Comm system…

"We are going to finish whatever missions that need doing in about 5 days then make our way to the Citadel on the 6th and then we will have 3 days of R&R. You all have been working exceedingly hard and we haven't had but about a day or 2 of shore leave since about a month and a half ago and that was due to ship repairs. I think we all agree that the entire crew deserves it."

She could feel a silent AMEN! Resonating throughout the ship. And one Damn you, Shepard. That was most likely from Miranda.

Three glorious days of shore leave…