Author Notes: Happy Valentine`s Day to everyone!=) The story is a sequel to "Between two Worlds" and "Sharing a World". If you haven`t read these stories yet, please do so before starting on this one, since this OS won`t make much sense otherwise.^^
Appreciation: Special thanks to YenGirl! She beta-read this story, although she is very busy herself and I`m very thankful that she sacrificed her free time to help me with this OS.^^ Without her, the story wouldn`t be the same. Thank you, dear!*big hug*
Broadening our World
Pink festoons.
Pink muffins.
Pink pumpkin juice.
Pink… everything!
Harry was still in shock when he left the Great Hall after breakfast. Of course he knew Valentine's Day was today, how could he not when all the girls were talking about it since January?
But it was one thing to know that his peers were crazy about today. It was quite another to see the entire castle… decorated… for the holiday.
Harry was beginning to understand why Severus always wore black robes and hated the color pink. At least, he got that impression from the sarcastic comments the Potions Master made whenever one of his female students wore pink lipstick or had a pink ornament in their hair. Its lurid shade was poison for one's eyes, although Harry doubted many girls thought like he did.
"Oh, have you seen the pretty pink chocolate pudding? I wish I could send some of it home to my little sister!"
Harry rolled his eyes as he overheard the comment from one of the girls walking past him. He really didn't understand why they liked this silly color so much, but he was happy that he would be able to spend the next few hours in Hogsmeade, since it was Saturday.
Many couples were already leaving the castle to spend the whole day with their loved ones. Harry ignored them on his way to Gryffindor Tower to meet up with Ron and Hermione. He noticed some girls giving him speculative looks and suspected they were wondering if he had a date for today.
Not that he wanted to go out with any of them. It wouldn't be possible anyway, since most of them believed him crazy or a liar for telling everyone that Voldemort was back. Severus did not think him crazy, but Harry doubted he would want to celebrate this holiday either so there was no point in thinking about going out with the man, even if it was possible.
Harry found Ron and Hermione already waiting for him in the common room so he waved to them and hurried up to the boys' dorms to dress more warmly.
OOO
Pink!
Everything was bloody pink!
Severus growled down at his plate. He had thought he would be able to avoid Albus' silly decorations by simply not turning up for breakfast, but obviously that wasn't enough.
Next year, he swore to himself, he would cook his own breakfast instead of ordering it from the house elves. How the little creatures had managed to turn his coffee pink was beyond Severus.
He hoped the suspicious liquid wouldn't turn his tongue and teeth pink as well. But maybe the colored bread roll would. Or the bright pink ham.
Severus pushed the plate away from him in disgust. He would rather not eat anything at all, instead of touching even one of these… perversities! He didn't know why Albus was so crazy about Valentine's Day this year, but he was looking forward to the end of this silly and commercialized holiday.
The only good thing was, today being a Saturday, most of the students would be in Hogsmeade, making goofy eyes at their loved ones. There were no explosions in his classes or stupid, giggling girls – and some boys –to deal with.
Severus allowed himself a satisfied smile, but it faltered only a moment later. No classes also meant he wouldn't be able to see Harry. He doubted that the young man would want to spend his free day with his snarky Potions Master.
All right, Harry had spent many evenings in his quarters since Christmas, but today wasn't a normal Saturday. It was Valentine's Day. Harry would be going out with some pretty, insipid little girl and…
Severus took a deep breath to calm himself. It wasn't any of his business!
Harry could do whatever he wanted. They might have kissed a few times, but that didn't mean anything.
Harry was probably just curious...
Nothing abnormal at his age…
In fact, Severus should hope Harry found himself a nice girl or even a nice young man, instead of wanting to have him for himself. He ignored the painful sting in his chest as he imagined Harry with someone else and instead, focused on making a mental list of the potion ingredients he had to buy from the apothecary.
He refused to spend more time in this pink castle than necessary.
OOO
Hogsmeade wasn't pink!
Harry sighed in relief. He didn't mind seeing a few cafés and shops decorated with pink balloons and bows; they had business to do, after all.
"Do you want to stop by Zonko's or would you rather go to Honeydukes?" Hermione asked, rubbing her cold hands together.
It was still cold for mid-February, the ground covered by a thin layer of snow. A bottle of warm Butterbeer sounded very appealing to Harry.
"I think," he began when someone interrupted him.
"Hi, Harry! Nice to see you here."
Surprised, the young Gryffindor turned around and found himself face to face with Cho Chang.
"Oh, yeah. Hi."
He hadn't talked with her since their last DA meeting right before Christmas and they hadn't been able to arrange a meeting this year just yet.
"Well," Cho directed a shy smile at him. "Are you here with someone?"
"Uh, yes. I'm here with Ron and Hermione."
Harry turned around to include his best friends in the conversation, only to see them standing a few feet away and intently studying the products in a shop window. He squinted, it looked like a display of old fashioned kitchen utensils, something he was sure his friends weren't interested in.
How strange.
"It seems like they would rather spend their time without you. I didn't know they were together."
Frowning a bit, Harry shook his head."They aren't."
"No?" Cho looked thoughtfully at them before giving another shy smile. "Well, since they seem content to be together, would you mind having a coffee with me somewhere?"
Still baffled by the behavior of his friends, Harry shook his head again. He knew Ron had a thing for Hermione and the smart witch obviously liked the redhead more than as a mere friend… but they had never acted on their feelings… until now.
Harry glared in their direction as he was led away by Cho. It wasn't until Hermione looked up and winked at him that he realized why his best friends were behaving so odd. He grimaced to himself.
Great.
Hermione thought she was doing him a favor by giving him the chance to go out with Cho.
Just… great!
Harry glanced at the dark haired girl holding his hand and pulling him towards a café. She was beautiful all right, but… the image of a pair of dark eyes looking warmly at him just before their owner kissed him ghosted through his mind.
Turning to Cho, Harry was just about to tell her he didn't think it was a good idea to have coffee together when he realized it was too late. She had already pushed open the door to the café and a little bell tinkled above their heads when they entered.
Harry looked around the interior and blinked.
It was pink!
OOO
"Do you think he has a date?"
"Who cares? Who'd want to spend their free time with him anyway? I bet it would be more fun to go out with old McGonagall."
Severus clenched his hands into fists. He was glad he had already owled his order to the apothecary so he wouldn't have to linger here any longer than necessary. Such tactless comments only reminded him of why he didn't like to visit Hogsmeade on a weekend when the students were allowed here as well.
They all looked at him like he was an intruder, like they couldn't understand why he didn't burn to ashes in the sunlight. And the worst thing was, he couldn't even deduct any house points for such behavior. If these little dunderheads had said such things to him at Hogwarts, his revenge would be terrible.
But not here! Albus wouldn't be pleased if he heard his Potions Master had hexed students on Valentine's Day.
Severus had no choice but to pretend he hadn't heard any whispering. He only stopped once, hidden in the entry of a side street, when he recognized the voice of one of his Snakes.
"Gross! Snape's in Hogsmeade today too!"
"Why, he sometimes comes here. We saw McGonagall as well earlier, going to the Hog's Head. I mean, it's not like the professors stay at the castle all the time."
When the first girl spoke again, Severus recognized Pansy Parkinson's voice.
"Of course, but just imagine if Snape might be meeting someone here… that's gross! I mean, I like him when he deducts points from these stupid Lions, but imagine someone liking him enough to kiss him?! Or do even more…"
When the girls broke out in hysterical laughter, Severus forced himself to keep quiet until the girls had walked past.
Nice. Even his own Snakes found him disgusting. He supposed he couldn't blame them… not when he was skinny and pale with a too long nose, greasy hair whenever he brewed a potion… and scars everywhere. Not that anyone who saw him would ever get to know about his scars. No one would be so crazy as to want to see him naked.
Severus sneered to himself. He was lucky one didn't need to remove all of one's clothes for a quickie, otherwise no one would be willing to even touch him. No one had ever been willing to spend more than a few nights with him. Disgust was the only thing mirrored in the eyes of his brief affairs whenever they broke up with him.
Severus's last affair had ended years ago, but he still remembered the look of utter revulsion when his lover touched one of the more pronounced scars that ran over his back. He paused to glare at his reflection in one of the shop windows, only to freeze on the spot.
That was Harry inside! No doubt about it!
Sitting at one of the tables covered in pink perversities, and… flirting with a smiling young girl.
OOO
The coffee was good.
Harry focused on that thought as he took another sip of the hot, black liquid. Yes, it was quite good… and it wasn't pink in color. Even better.
"Well, how do you like it here?"
Why were girls always asking questions that were impossible to answer honestly?
Harry imagined telling Cho this café was terrible and he would rather enjoy his free afternoon with Ron and Hermione, but he pushed the idea away immediately. He wouldn't do that. It would have been rude to poor Cho who had just lost Cedric last year. Harry couldn't bring himself to hurt her even more, not when he still felt responsible for Cedric's death.
"It's nice. I just… don't like pink all that much."
Right on cue, Cho uttered a happy laugh as if Harry had made a wonderful joke. When she reached over and took hold of his free hand lying on the table, he found himself wishing the table was larger.
"You're funny, Harry. I don't understand why you don't have a date for today."
At her interrogative look, Harry bit his tongue. He couldn't very well tell her that he didn't care for dates, because he intended to spend his evening with Severus Snape. That would be rude as well, wouldn't it?
"I guess most girls are afraid that I would try to convince them that Voldemort," Harry ignored the shudder that went through Cho as he mentioned that name, "is back."
"Well, I know it's not a nice thing to say, but I'm happy the other girls don't want to go out with you. Otherwise, I wouldn't be so lucky as to spend time with you."
Harry couldn't help noticing she hadn't replied to what he had said about Voldemort. At a loss of what to say next, he opened his mouth and closed it again.
When Cho leaned across the table, he blinked at her. Now what was she up to?
It was only when she closed her eyes with her face just two inches away that he understood her intention. She wanted to kiss him!
Harry's heart lurched in his chest. Not because he was nervous or excited, but because… he didn't want to. Cho was a beautiful girl and he could talk about Quidditch with her, but…
Warm and wet lips were already touching his when Harry turned his head sharply to the side, letting Cho kiss his cheek instead. From the corner of his eyes he thought he saw a whirl of black robes outside the window café, but that was probably just his imagination… because he didn't want to kiss a girl he wasn't interested in… because he wanted to spend his free time with Severus Snape.
"Sorry," Harry mumbled to a surprised looking Cho as he stood up. "I… You're nice and pretty, but I… sorry, I don't want to lead you on."
Without waiting for her reply, Harry tossed a few coins on the table and hurried to leave. He still had to find something to present Severus with if he intended on seeing him later.
After all, today was Valentine's Day and everyone had a present for their loved ones.
Everyone!
OOO
No!
Severus almost cried out loud as the young girl leaned over to kiss Harry.
Push her away!
Tell her you don't want her!
Tell her you want… me, Harry!
Severus stopped his ridiculous and silent pleading at that point, but it was too late by then. Too late to take back his thoughts and pretend they weren't what he had secretly hoped for.
He had been in love with Harry for some time now as he told the young man at Halloween… but he had never dared to hope. He bit down hard on his tongue to control himself so that he wouldn't do something stupid like march into the café and accuse Harry of cheating.
That wouldn't be true!
He and Harry weren't a couple. They had kissed a few times, but that didn't mean anything.
Or at least, that didn't mean anything to Harry whose lips were now touching the girl's.
Severus squeezed his eyes shut and turned away sharply. He should have known this would happen. Harry was an attractive young man. Why would he want the old dungeon bat of Hogwarts?!
No, it was better that Harry had found someone more suitable for himself. Even as that thought formed in Severus' mind, he tasted the bitterness of desperation and betrayal.
It was over! Something that hadn't even really begun was over.
A choked sob escaped past Severus' lips. Get the hell out of here was his only conscious thought and he Disapparated right on the spot.
Back to Hogwarts.
Back to his cold and dark dungeons.
OOO
The door slammed shut with a bang.
Severus had made it back to his quarters at record speed. It was on days like this when he regretted the wards of Hogwarts prevented him from Apparating directly into his quarters. Of course, it wasn't every day that his hopes were destroyed like today.
With shaking fingers, he ripped his cloak off his shoulders and flung it over the nearest armchair, trying not to imagine Harry enjoying himself with his new girlfriend. He probably wasn't sparing a thought for his old Potions Master.
Why should he?
There was no reason why Harry should be thinking of him at all. He had only made Severus hope, because he hadn't rejected him right away and had appeared to have returned his feelings.
With more force than necessary, Severus opened the cabinet where he kept his liquor and wines… only to realize that there weren't any bottles left. He growled at the empty shelves, remembering how he had always served a drink whenever Harry visited him… and that had been very often during the last two months.
Well, that was over now too. Harry wouldn't come to see him anymore, not when he had a girlfriend who wanted his attention.
Severus blinked. Something was burning in his eyes, making them water. He used the sleeve of his robes to wipe away the moisture.
Obviously, some potion fumes had escaped from his private lab to his living room. There was no other explanation why his eyes should be tearing up like this, or why his chest felt like bursting open each time he took a deep breath.
Just a side effect of his newest potions experiment… not the after effects of his observation in Hogsmeade.
Severus pressed his knuckles against his closed eyelids, seeing the image of a young man with beautiful emerald eyes in his mind's eye. The bitter laugh that escaped his lips turned into a sob the next moment. What kind of a spy was he if he couldn't even lie to himself?
Severus sank down on the couch and curled into himself. If he hadn't known how wonderful it felt to hold Harry in his arms and kiss him and feel loved, then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much now.
OOO
Were they all crazy?!
Hidden under his invisibility cloak, Harry blinked at a young couple busy making out in an empty classroom. Wherever he looked, there seemed to be students kissing or touching each other. Maybe the dishes at breakfast weren't only pink, but also loaded with some sort of stimulant.
He wouldn't put that sort of prank past Dumbledore, although it was strange he hadn't felt any such effects himself. Well, maybe that would change once he was with Severus…
Smiling, Harry closed his fingers around the little gift box in his trouser pocket. He had searched for a long time before finally finding the perfect gift and couldn't wait to give it to Severus.
After going down one more staircase and along one corridor, Harry arrived at his destination. He knocked on the door to Severus' quarters and it opened a few moments later. Peering inside, he found the living room empty.
"Severus?" he called out as he went inside and closed the door.
Taking off his cloak, he looked around. Odd. Severus always came out to greet him if he happened to be in one of the other rooms. Maybe he was busy in his lab and couldn't come out right now because he was experimenting with some dangerous substances.
"Severus? Where are you?" Harry called again.
There was still no reply, but he heard some sounds coming from one of the other rooms, which he hadn't been to before. Frowning, he went to knock at the door, only to freeze when the door was pulled open from the inside.
Severus stood before him, dripping wet and clad in a green bathrobe. It was loosely tied around his waist, the front panels exposing half his chest.
Harry blinked and pinched himself, wincing at the sting. It looked like today was his lucky day since he had never before seen Severus in anything else than his black teaching robes. The man must have just had a shower and this room was most likely his bedroom, with an adjoining bathroom.
Harry had a sudden wish to peep inside, but it was only a fleeting thought since the view in front of him was much, much more interesting. Thanks to the bathrobe, he could see for the first time just how… hot… Severus truly was.
All right, he was on the skinny side and should eat more, but that didn't bother Harry. The pale skin framed by the gaping bathrobe was still covered with droplets of water, and was much too appealing to focus on such minor details.
But it wasn't all smooth skin, he realized, as he took a step closer. There were scars as well. Some of which were almost completely faded and others which were more pronounced.
Harry's heart skipped a beat. The wounds which had led to these scars must have been painful ones. Maybe they were from Death Eater meetings!
He gulped. He could only imagine how violent some of Voldemort's followers might be and his heart bled when he imagined how Severus had to force himself to meet with them in order to get information for the Order.
When Harry had seen the bruises on Severus` arms at Halloween, he had thought that Voldemort might even torture his Death Eaters, just for fun… and maybe even the followers of the Dark Lord were torturing each other to find out who was stronger.
Of course, that were only theories, but Harry got the thinking feeling that they were, at least, partly correct.
Still staring at Severus' chest, Harry wondered if he should say something comforting about the scars or not mention them at all.
It was Severus who broke the silence first.
"What do you still want here?"
Harry's eyes snapped up to meet black ones which were filled with hurt and anger in equal measure.
OOO
Severus felt Harry's presence the moment the boy stopped in front of his quarters. He didn't want to let him in at first. What good would it do him to see the young man who had just crushed his heart beneath his feet?
Besides, he didn't want to see Harry after having sat on the couch for what felt like an eternity before dragging himself to the bathroom for a shower. Nonetheless, he was curious as to why Harry had come down to his quarters at all. Maybe the young Gryffindor thought he owed Severus an explanation or some other ridiculous excuse. Or maybe, there was still reason to hope that…
No. Severus forbade himself from completing that thought. Every time he dared to hope, he got hurt. He wouldn't make the same mistake again.
Opening the door with wandless magic, he told himself he just wanted to put an end to this, once and for all. If Harry had come here to tell him that whatever they had was over, it would even help him to get over it, Severus told himself firmly.
When he heard Harry call out his name, he realized he was still dripping wet and had just stepped out from the shower. He could have dried and dressed himself with magic, but decided against it and just slipped on his bathrobe, tying it enough to hide his modesty, but not his many imperfections.
Why should he hide his ugly body?
Harry wasn't interested in him, if he ever was. If seeing his Potions Master half naked would help him justify his decision… then Severus wouldn't deny him that aid. Not that anyone had to justify preferring a beautiful young woman over a skinny, scarred Ex-Death Eater.
Severus wouldn't have chosen himself, if he had any say in it.
So here he was, displaying himself to Harry in a way he had never shown anyone else before - dripping wet, barely dressed… and absolutely vulnerable with the lights on. Seeing the emerald eyes widening as they took him in, he held his breath with his heart pounding hard in his chest and waited… waited for utter disgust to enter those beautiful eyes and for hurtful words to leave those pink lips.
But none of that happened.
The moment Harry noticed the scars - Severus was certain he had noticed them - Harry's expression changed. There was no disgust or even pity mirrored in his eyes…just pain and compassion.
Merlin, why couldn't the boy ever act like he was supposed to?
If he had at least shown some disgust, Severus might have been able to hate him for his superficiality. Instead…
"What do you still want here?" he heard himself ask.
Those green eyes snapped up to his and Harry shook his head in confusion.
"I don't understand what you mean, Severus?"
For Merlin's sake, Harry still had the nerve to call him by his given name! Maybe he believed that they could still be… what?!
Companions?
Friends?
A few months ago, before Halloween to be exact, Severus would have been all too happy to accept such an arrangement, but not any longer. Not when he knew how it felt to kiss Harry, hold him in his arms and feel his heartbeat next to his own.
Harry must be so narcissistic he didn't even realize how his behavior made others suffer.
"Oh, you don't understand. Maybe I should enlighten you then," Severus replied. He forced his voice to be steady and cold, even though he felt like he was speaking around a knot in his throat.
"Other people might kiss the ground you walk on and are all too happy to share you with others as long as they get a little of your attention. Well, I do not belong to that group!"
Severus took in a deep breath. He hadn't intended to say that, hadn't meant to reveal so much of himself. It looked like he would have to go even farther though, since Harry still looked like he didn't understand one damned thing.
"In other words, so that even Gryffindors like you would understand, you should be with your pretty little girlfriend, instead of lingering around in the dungeons and…"
"What the hell are you talking about? What bloody girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend!"
Seeing Harry's green eyes sparking with anger and irritation, Severus felt confused. Why was Harry denying it when he had seen that beautiful girl with his own eyes?
Oh. Perhaps he didn't consider her his girlfriend. That made Severus growl. He might be ready to accept the fact that Harry had found someone better for himself, but he wouldn't allow him to play around with an innocent girl.
"I'm talking about Miss Chang who was with you in that awful, pink café! Or have you already forgotten that you kissed her?!"
Severus took another steadying breath and continued.
"At first I thought you're just like your father, but even Potter wouldn't have fooled an innocent girl and you even…"
"You're such an idiot!" Harry interrupted Severus' rant.
OOO
Severus wasn't making any sense! What non-existent girlfriend was he talking about?
Harry didn't have a girlfriend and Severus should know that. Surely the man didn't think he would spend time with him and kiss him if he was already in another relationship?
But Severus' next sentences revealed this was exactly what he thought. And after a few more moments, Harry finally understood how the man came to that conclusion. It looked like he hadn't imagined that swirl of black robes outside the café window. The Potions Master must have seen him and Cho in the café and jumped to the wrong conclusion.
Harry could understand how Cho's behavior towards him could have misled someone. Severus' jealousy, at least, Harry thought – or rather, hoped – that it was jealousy, would have even been… cute, if it wasn't for how hurtful his words were.
"You're such an idiot!" Harry managed to get out at last when he couldn't stand Severus' ranting any longer.
"Do you really think so little of me as to assume that I would find myself a girlfriend, when I know exactly how you feel… or have you already forgotten that you confessed your feelings to me at Halloween?!"
Harry took a deep breath to calm down. He shouldn't lose his temper now, but Severus' words had hurt him more than he had realized. Why had Severus come up with something like this right after Harry finally realized how much the Potions Master meant to him?!
"But you don't have to worry, I still remember what you told me at Halloween and although I didn't know then how exactly I feel for you, I wouldn't have searched for a girlfriend, after such a confession."
For the first time since he came to Hogwarts, Harry saw Severus speechless, his mouth opening and closing without a single word leaving his lips.
After almost half a minute, Severus finally spoke, his voice sounding helpless instead of angry and accusing.
"But she… she was kissing you, Harry!"
Harry nodded.
"Yes, Cho tried to kiss me, but I didn't kiss her. We aren't together and we'll never be together, because I," he struggled to find the right words and then decided to let his instinct lead him. "When she tried kissing me, I realized I didn't want it."
"Why?"
Severus sounded utterly desperate now and Harry felt the last bit of anger leave him. How could he be angry at Severus, when the man looked so lost and vulnerable, standing there and wearing nothing more than his bathrobe?
He couldn't.
"Because I realized I only wanted to kiss one person. You, Severus!"
Dark orbs widened. Harry thought he saw something like hope flicker in them before it disappeared.
"Stop kidding me, Harry! I believe that you wouldn't play with the heart of an innocent girl and that it was just a misunderstanding, but don't try to make me believe that you return my feelings for you… just don't!"
Harry stared at Severus who seemed ready to break down at any moment. The man's normally steady hands were trembling and his yellow teeth were digging hard into his lower lip.
It made Harry blink. This wasn't the reaction he had expected. Somehow, he missed something, something very important.
"Severus, what's the matter?"
OOO
What's the matter?
Severus almost laughed out loud. He wanted to believe that Harry could love him and now that Harry confessed he did, he couldn't let himself believe him.
It couldn`t be true. Harry couldn`t know what he was talking about. Yes, he had to be confused or worse, felt obliged to say these things because he thought that Severus needed to hear them.
"You're talking about things you don't understand. That is what the matter is," Severus answered Harry's question as calmly as he could. "You can't want to kiss me, when you have the choice between a beautiful girl and me. No one would choose me!"
When Harry didn't say anything, but stare at him with widened eyes, Severus almost thought he was Petrified, until the young Gryffindor's angry voice filled the room.
"Don't bloody tell me what I'm feeling! I know exactly what I feel! You could lock me up in a room with Cho or some other girl – a hundred other girls – and I'd still only want to kiss you!"
Upset tears welled in Harry's eyes and ran down his cheeks, but he ignored them.
"I'm sorry you think so little of yourself, Severus! And I don't understand why you think that no one would want to kiss you! You're…"
"I'm an old, snarky, greasy Ex-Death Eater, who calls more scars than potion ingredients his own!"
Severus regretted his outburst the moment the words left his mouth, but Harry's only reaction was an adamant shake of his head.
"No, you aren't. I don't see you like that and I'd have told you so, if you'd only given me the chance to say it."
Severus was about to answer, but Harry's upheld hand silenced him.
"I would have come earlier too, but I wanted to find a special Valentine's Day's gift for you, since I didn't give you anything for Christmas."
To Severus' utter astonishment, Harry reached inside his trouser pocket and pulled out a small gift wrapped in green paper.
"I would like to celebrate the rest of Valentine's Day with you… but if you don't believe me when I say I love you, then it's to no use."
It was Severus' turn to stand stock still, as if he had been placed under a Body Bind curse. He watched in silence as Harry swung around and strode to the coffee table in the living room. Putting down the gift, the young man then turned to him with a sad expression in his eyes.
"Goodbye, Professor Snape."
OOO
Later, Severus didn't know what made him move. It could have been the finality of Harry's words or the use of his formal title.
Whatever it was, Severus found himself going after Harry and gripping his wrist before he reached the door.
"Wait!"
Harry stopped but didn't turn around.
Severus licked his lips, his heart pounding hard inside his chest. This was probably his last chance to apologize for his misassumptions and to convince Harry to stay, but he didn't know what to say.
He had never lacked for words. Such a failing could very well mean his death when he was spying on Voldemort, but this time he felt as if all his Slytherin cunning had left him.
In the end, he just listened to his heart in order to find the right words to say to Harry.
"I want to believe you, Harry. Ever since I realized I had fallen in love with you, I thought that you would one day return my feelings, but at the same time, I didn't dare to hope. I only started to believe I might have a chance, when you heard my confession at Halloween… and then you started visiting me on a regular basis after Christmas and…"
"Then you saw Cho and me together, today…" Harry swung around, his eyes wide. "Holy shit!"
Severus didn't point out to Harry that he didn't like such vulgar language used in his quarters. He just nodded his head.
"Yes, I saw you and realized that I didn't stand a chance against a pretty girl and I… convinced myself that it's better for you to have someone young and unscarred than to be stuck with me."
The tearful smile on Harry's face took Severus' breath away.
"And if I want to be stuck with you?"
Severus shook his head in disbelief, hope warming his heart once more.
"Then you're obviously crazy."
Harry's smile grew even wider at that.
"No, I only have a better taste for men than all the others."
OOO
Severus didn't reply to that last comment. That was something Harry was very thankful for, since he didn't want to spend the whole evening in discussion with the Potions Master.
They would have to discuss this matter some other time though. Harry found it strange that such a brave and strong man would feel so unworthy and unloved. He wouldn't allow Severus to feel like that any longer, even if it took the rest of his life to change the man's view of himself.
He was also determined to find out who had installed these fears and insecurities in Severus… so that he could pay them a little visit and practice some of the nastier hexes he knew, of course!
"What are you thinking about?"
Harry looked up and saw Severus standing at the door of his bedroom, his eyes holding an insecure and almost nervous look. Harry shook his head and smiled at the same time.
Later. That discussion could take place later. For now, he just wanted to enjoy his first Valentine's Day with Severus.
"I was just thinking that you needn't have changed. I like you in your bathrobe, although it would look even better in red."
As he spoke, Harry took in Severus' clothes, a simple black button-down shirt and black trousers, instead of his usual dark robes. The shirt hugged the Potions Master's torso like a second skin and the trousers…
Harry's eyes widened. He knew Severus was tall of course, but this was the first time he noticed what long legs he had and how… delicious… his arse looked in those tight trousers. He was so caught up in the sight he almost missed the light blush that painted the man's cheeks at his words.
For one moment Severus looked as if he was going to retreat back to his bedroom. Then he opened the top button of his shirt and went to sit down on the couch next to Harry.
"Better?"
Harry smiled and moved closer until their shoulders touched.
"Better," he replied. He took a deep breath before reaching for the little package on the table and handing it over to Severus. "You have to open it."
He watched as long fingers unwrapped the paper much too slowly and revealed a little jewelry box. When dark orbs pinned him with an irritated look, he just nodded excitedly and watched as Severus opened the box and took out the piece of jewelry inside. The man didn't say anything
"I didn't know what to get you… and I thought that it would be uninspiring to get you potion ingredients or… Well, I hope it's okay, but if not, then you still can exchange it."
Thin lips, pressing against Harry's, silenced his stuttering. Although the kiss didn't last nearly as long as he would wish, it was long enough to calm his nerves.
"It's beautiful, Harry. Only," Severus gave the lion head pendant a wry glance, "Minerva should never see me wearing it or my reputation will be destroyed."
Harry's eyes almost fell out of their sockets.
"You want to wear it?"
Harry had bought the pendant, because he wanted Severus to remember that it didn't matter how Slytherins and Gryffindors were rival Houses, he would always be there for him. He never thought Severus would want to wear it.
"Or would you rather I didn't?"
Harry quickly shook his head.
"No, I only… I didn't expect you to wear it, but it's great that you will and… Let me just put it on for you."
Harry stopped his second round of stuttering and placed the chain with the silvery pendant around the man's neck. Then he looked happily at the little lion resting right over Severus' heart.
"It's really beautiful, Harry. I'm sorry I don't have anything for you… not even a drink."
Harry smiled as he took in the regretful expression and moved closer to Severus once more.
"Oh, I guess I can change that."
He clapped his hands and Dobby appeared in front of him.
"Dobby, could you please bring us a bottle of mead and two glasses?"
"Of course. Dobby can do that, Harry Potter Sir."
Two seconds later, the ordered bottle and the glasses appeared on Severus' coffee table.
"How…" Severus began before shaking his head. "I guess I don't want to know."
He filled their glasses and gave one to Harry before raising his own, but the young Gryffindor was faster in making a toast.
"To our first Valentine's Day and to many more to come."
To that they drank.
OOO
It was dark.
Mumbling a bit, Harry blinked his eyes open. He expected to see a blurred picture of the room only to notice his glasses were still on his nose.
Great. He must have fallen asleep on Severus' couch again… oh, they had both fallen asleep on the couch, if the warm weight on his left was anything to go by.
Carefully, he turned a little to look at Severus. He was surprised when his movements didn't wake him, perhaps Severus hadn't slept much over the past week.
The pale face was relaxed, the long dark hair surrounding his features and making them look rather… delicate.
Harry suppressed a sigh. Severus seemed so vulnerable in his sleep and much younger than when he was glaring at any misbehaving students. It made Harry want to … protect him. Not only from external harm, but also from the dark places that obviously lay within Severus' own soul.
Yes, Harry swore to himself, he would help Severus mend all his scars, even the invisible ones.
With that thought, he pressed a brief kiss on those thin lips and adjusted himself so that he wasn't only facing Severus, but pressed against his warm body as well.
The lion shaped pendant seemed to wink at Harry. He smiled at it as he stroked the exposed pale skin that lay just beneath Severus' shirt. He didn't want to get up anytime soon, not even for breakfast, but he knew how to get something to eat later.
"Dobby," he whispered into the dark.
The little house elf appeared and didn't even look surprised at finding Harry in the arms of Severus Snape. House elves probably knew more about everything that went on than anyone else in the castle, Harry mused.
"Dobby, please prepare pancakes with syrup and scrambled eggs with bacon for our breakfast here. Can you do that?"
The little house elf nodded eagerly.
"Harry Potter Sir, don't worry… I bringing him and Potions Master Sir their breakfast!"
With that, Dobby disappeared and left them alone.
Harry took off his glasses and snuggled closer to Severus again.
Valentine's Day was over now and although it hadn't started in a promising way, it had still helped them to become closer. He wouldn't exchange that for anything in the world.
Harry decided he would even endure pink pumpkin juice every day, if it meant that he and Severus could spent many more nights like this; happy and protected in each other's arms with no one to disturb their shared little world.
