Prologue
(Quinn's P.O.V)
The idea of losing my wife never once crossed my mind, the thought of one day missing her and wanting her there was never a part of my thought pattern. We met in High School, and if you ask me she was kind of a snob but God even I could admit that she was the most beautiful girl at the school, her dark skin and long thick black hair made her look almost exotic, she had these sort of dark almost black eyes that I could always get lost in. I don't really know what caused it what forces of the Universe were working with me that day but when she slipped in the lunch room I was right there to catch her and from that moment I tried my hardest to always be there.
If I were to be honest though she swept me off of my feet in the long run, she was more than charming, cunning and witty and her smile could light up the room, she couldn't dance and she couldn't sing but God did she do it any way. She was absolutely horrid at sports, when I think back on it though she did not even like things that you had to be extremely active. The most active thing that she did was run with me every morning, but that was really only because she got sick of waking up alone. Never considered out of shape to say the least, just compared to my track, basketball and soccer background she say a bit lazy.
Though in saying that; she was the most talented artist that I believe ever walked the face of this earth, but of course I am also a tad bit bias about my wife's works. She was a painter, photographer, and secretly a graffiti artist. You can still see her works all around Lima. If it has a medium, she did it all and was absolutely flawless with it. She was always taking pictures, always drawing in sketch books or on napkins during our dates. All throughout high school she was in Art clubs, she even designed the year books for the 4 years she was there. I remember catching her early some mornings before the sun was even stretched its warmth onto the lands sitting next to the bed, drawing me in this black sketch book that she kept hidden, so well that I could never find it until after her death in my sock drawer. That was probably the only sketch book that she never let anyone else lay eyes on, including me.
She was from a different world than me. Only moving to America from France when she was 13, it was hard to completely understand some of the things that she did the rituals she held dear. Her father had no sons, she was the oldest of 4 daughters, and she followed in her father's footsteps with her art. She spoke differently, acted differently and most of all she looked different. Not like any other woman I had ever seen. A unique and exotic mix of French, Native American, and African; she was the product of love and acceptance.
I loved that she knew me better than I knew myself. She understood my mood swings and emotions like no other human being could. It was like from the moment that I laid eyes on her it was like she could channel me. It may seem crazy but she knew my secret and loved me for all me "flaws" {although she never referred to them as "flaws" she like my parents called them blessings.} It was my 13th birthday when my father explained to me what happened to some of the Fabray woman…
"Quinny I need you to understand something Okay." My father had me wrapped in his arms tightly I was sobbing in my bed. The pain had gone away but the shock was still there, I had a penis and there was nothing I could do about it.
"Daddy I am a freak, what is there for me to understand" I cried even harder, I didn't want to feel this way, how was I ever gonna find my prince charming now that I have this thing hanging from between my legs.
"Lucy Quinn Fabray you stop that this instant you are not a freak, you are far from that it is a genetic trait that cannot be explained but it will not do you any such harm." My father pulled away from me for a second. "Quinn look at me." I looked up at my father's request, his voice firm yet loving. "Do you thing that your aunt Mary Alice is a freak?" I gasped in horror at his question.
"No daddy of course not I love aunty Alice." I said not quite understanding where he is going with this. My aunt Alice is the coolest aunt in the world, she lives in Colorado with her wife Stacy and their son Mitch he just turned 10 last month, the whole family went on a Skiing trip for his birthday it was great.
"Okay Quinn, I want you to understand that you are not a freak and you are not the only person who has had to live through this, but I promise you one thing that if you don't allow this….this added….ummmm what did my mama say…..added appendage to hold you back you can only achieve greatness for you were born for just that."
That following summer I had gone to stay with my aunt for a while she helped me out with some of the tricks and lessons about hiding. I loved being in the mountains and my aunt gave me a safe haven that would help me accept me.
I had excepted that I would probably live my life alone because even though my aunt found someone to love it seemed like a shot in the dark for me, even though I could except and love who I was why would there be a human being that would love me and want to be with me until I met my Annabelle; she loved me and gave herself to me in every way. Annabelle was indeed what I thought was fate some of the best years of my life start and end with her. She showed me the world in a way that I never imagined before in the most gentle of ways. She gave me a different view and helped me grow into myself and she grew with me, we never grew apart only together. Maybe that is what made us so strong even through the toughest of times we made it through with each other.
We fell in love during the freshman year of high school, I was a child and she was a child in a little unknown small town and the love we shared was frowned upon and looked at as if to be unhealthy. Nothing else mattered but her, I let go of all of my friends from middle school for her, and I was not afraid to say "I'd die for you" to her and she was the one who would respond "Then kill me too because a life without you is no life for me".
You know that kind of love that your parents are scared when they see their babies loving another human being so desperately, selflessly and so young that they try to keep you apart. No amounts of distance, therapy or anything else that both our parents thru at us made our love fitter or die. Thinking back I can understand why my mother and father reacted the way they did, if you want honesty I can't help but be thankful that they did because it led to Jezzrel.
You know as funny as it is now at the start of Annabelle and my relationship we did not have sex. She knew about my extra parts and all but we didn't become intimate until our parents separated us because they thought we were. Our relationship was indeed based on our feelings not on some hormonal infatuation that all of our therapist claimed it was. Not our love was more than that, if it wasn't then why did I feel like I was physically dying without her during that summer before our junior year thinking back that pain was merely a scratch. So when school started and our parents could no longer keep us apart unless they made us switch schools which they tried and strangely failed and also keep us busy with work or extra classes after school we made it happen, wither it be us sneaking out and meeting in the woods or me sneaking into her room at night, her mom kept catching me that eventually the front door started being left unlocked for me to come in and I didn't have to leave at the crake of dawn. That then followed to my parents making Annabelle a key so that they didn't have to hear my phone ringing in the middle of the night when she is downstairs. We actually had sex the first time summer the summer before senior year, when Annabelle was about to leave for a 2 week study Abroad photography group to Spain. We learned that separation was indeed becoming a weakness for us…
I loved her more than life itself, I would have died for her to live if the choice was mine. Unfortunately no matter the amount of money in my bank account I could not bribe death nor could any God make her stay her with me and our girls. She gave me everything she had and in turn I tried my hardest to do the same. She gave me 2 children and 13 years that I would never want to spend with another I sometimes can't help but just wished we had more. Always left thinking about the what ifs, what if we had moved to Washington like we were planning, what if she was able to open her gallery, what if we had more children that was the hardest thing for me it kept me up for months at a time what if we had that little boy, would he have had her eyes and my blond hair would he have had a big bright smile and a shy personality…
But this is not a sad story to say in the least. This is not about the wonderful life that I helped create and shared with my Annabelle, a life and a dream that was ripped away from me by the carelessness of a man. No, this is about how my children and I traveled the road to recovering from not only the loss of my wife but the loss of their mother. How I found love and closure on this road for not only myself but also for my children. How with love lost, love can be waiting there for you where you least expect it. There will be sad times and memories, me finding love once again after the loss of a greatest love something that I never thought would happen again and for that is the reason I am telling this story.
I don't need fame, nor do my children or my beloved Annabelle but what I do want to bring to light is that there is life after death. This is a story of rebirth and growth… I hope you enjoy!
Hey thanks for reading…Leave a comment and if you want to read about Annabelle and Quinn's first time and what kindof happens after go to my profile… this is a Quinn and Rachel story and as a Faberry fan I have to say that I can be a little sadden when reading a Faberry story and one of them has sex with someone else… I no stupid but hey that's me! but check it out if you want it is Deleted Scene#1 and tell me if you want more of those not just the sex but the 'background" to the relationship that created out 3 beloved girls!
