Hey guys!
Okay, I've been working on this story for a while now. I'd been in and out of inspiration for this so many times I thought I'd never get to posting it xP But here it is now!
A few things I feel you need to know before proceeding to read what is probably the longest thing I've ever written for Fanfiction:
ONE.) This is an MC break-up fic, and just like in the very episode it was was set in, they stay broken up at the end of it. So if—for some reason I can hardly comprehend—you're one of the rare (as far as I know) people who still ship Matt/Caro, read at your own risk. I don't like feeling excited to check my reviews, only to find some sort of rant about their ship. So be warned: there is, in my opinion, A LOT of subtle Forwood in this story.
TWO.) The POV shifts between Matt and Caroline a lot. As I said before, I had gone in and out of inspiration for this story over the past two months, so I apologize in advanced for any "past tense-present tense" or "him-her" details that you might find confusing. And my ideas got a little mixed up towards the end for the reason that I had already written down a few lines I wanted to interject to the story beforehand.
FOUR.) I'm not good at writing endings. Seriously. I have poems that are like, 12 stanzas long, all because it took me a while to figure out how to end it XD
I think that's about it.
Sorry for boring you guys with a long AN :)) Go ahead and read now! :D
Sunrise
He mostly hears his heavy breathing and the crackling of twigs and leaves beneath his quick, heavy footsteps as he follows her out of the woods. He'd lead her himself if he could, but she has the better senses, and though they had both grown up playing in these woods, her hunting trips with Stefan had led her to become more accustomed to it, especially at night.
He's scared and he knows she can tell, but she's scared too. He knows that even if Caroline trusts that thing more than she should, she's not stupid enough to completely forget the value of her life (or afterlife, whatever you want to call it).
The first thing he sees once they're out of the damned woods is the Lockwood mansion. Everything is happening so fast that he doesn't have the time to skeptically question why she picked this house, of all the properties that surrounded the area. "Come on, get in here," she says. They rush through the surprisingly unlocked doors and lock it once they're inside. He makes his way to the window, pulling back the curtain just enough to get a good look outside.
He hears her let out a breath. "Do you see anything?"
"We're not safe here," he says, ignoring her question. "If that thing wants in, it's getting in."
An alarm of panic goes off in her head when she watches him load more bullets into the gun. She can't let him hurt Tyler, but for now he's in the cellar, weak from the shot that was fired at him. They were safe for now.
Now she could ask him the question that had been floating around in the back of her mind since they were at the tomb.
"How did you even know what I was?" she asks breathlessly. "I compelled you to forget."
His stopped taking care of the gun to look at her with an indifferent expression. "I was on vervain. I faked forgetting so that I could spy on you… It was your mom's idea."
"Wait, my mom knows?" she exclaimed, the tone of her voice getting higher, still trying to process every word he'd said. "Oh my god. You told her."
This was definitely something she hadn't expected. Not from Matt. The shock of that goes through her quickly once another question pops into her head. "Well, what'd she say?"
He was direct, too concerned about what was out in the woods to consider showing compassion. "Your mom hates vampires." He makes his way to another window as she follows him. "She grew up hating vampires." He turns to look at her because he knows that the last sentence is the part she wants to hear the least. "She'll probably always hate vampires."
She bites back the sting of tears at the idea of her own mother hating her. "Well what about you?"
"What about me?"
She never takes her hopeful eyes off him as she speaks the words. "Well where does this leave us?"
He can't tell her because he doesn't know. Not yet, at least. Not while they're in this situation. So he avoids giving her a serious answer. "Stuck in this house," he says, "trying not to get mauled at by our friend." When he walks past her, she doesn't walk after him. She has no more questions, and she knows he has no more answers.
It's been at least two hours and they haven't said a word to each other. He keeps circling around the house, nervously checking the windows every two seconds. She's more relaxed though, seated on one of the chairs near the door, because she knows that it won't be long until Tyler transforms back into a human.
"You don't think I killed him, do you?"
The question catches her off guard just as she was getting accustomed to the silence, so it takes her a while to answer. "No."
"No," she repeats. "It takes a lot more than wooden bullets to kill a werewolf."
She can see that he's relieved to know that, which is good considering that earlier that night he had seen the wolf as a monster, not as his friend. She on the other hand, can't help but feel even more anxious. "He's still out there somewhere."
Matt tries to hide the slight irritation he gets at hearing the tone of her voice. It's a good thing he was looking out the window, so she couldn't see his face. Why was she worried about him if they were the ones in danger? He just couldn't understand the way Caroline's mind worked.
"Do you think my mom wants to kill me?" she asks softly, her voice almost child-like.
His face softens, and he begins to really process what she's going through. He feels sorry for her. "I don't think your mom knows what to do with you."
"Yeah well, I don't really know what to do with me either." Her words didn't surprise him. It reminded him of the first night that he'd spent in her room, when he brought her home after a party she'd thrown at the Grill. She had been drunk nearly to the point of immobility, and began crying over how she was never enough… Or something like that.
He was about respond when they both heard a thump coming from outside the front door. "What is it?"
"Wait," she said as her breath nearly hitched. She could hear a familiar labored breathing that had replaced the earlier growls.
Then she sees Matt's stance in front of the door with the gun poised to shoot at whatever was going to come through those doors.
"N-No! Don't! Don't shoot!" Caroline nearly exclaims, pushing down on Matt's hands to get him to lower the gun.
She makes a run for the door, vaguely hearing Matt call from behind, "What the hell are you doing?"
She knows exactly what she's doing. Just to make sure, she looks through the glass before telling Matt to remove his jacket. He gives her a confused answer, but she has no time for it. "Your jacket! Take it off."
He hands her his jacket and just watches as she bursts out the doors. Tyler is lying there, his back to them, completely naked. Caroline lays his jacket on the lower part of Tyler's body and he hears her let out a sigh of relief. It was all done so quickly, so fluidly, like she'd done it before, and he begins to wonder if she has.
She brings her hand up to Tyler's forehead and begins to stroke his hair. With a disoriented look on his face, Tyler tries to lift up his head and make sense of his surroundings. "Caroline?" he manages to choke out, his voice sounds raspy.
"Hey," she whispers back, smiling slightly.
His eyes meet Tyler's for just a fraction of a second, and the young werewolf looks confused as to why this human boy is here. Tyler is still lying on the wooden porch, completely covered in sweat. His breaths are still heavy and he still looks like he's in a daze. And Caroline is just there, tenderly stroking his hair and whispering "It's okay" repeatedly.
She feels relieved. So, so relieved that somehow, he ended up on their doorstep. He didn't look as pained and broken as he did the first night that he'd turned, but he looked so lost, and already guilt was shining from his eyes. She wanted to hug him, to hold his hand and kiss his temple like she'd done a month ago. But even though she was keeping her eyes on Tyler's face, she was still vaguely aware of Matt behind her. She didn't want to make the slightest gesture that would raise his brows. Now was not the time.
So she just keeps stroking his hair and they stay like that for a while, and Matt starts to assume that she's become oblivious to him standing right behind her. So he clears his throat and her head whips to turn in his direction. "W-We should probably get him inside," he stutters. "Someone might see us." They all know that it's unlikely though. It's late at night and the whole town is asleep, because as hard as it was to believe, there actually were people in Mystic Falls who still had a life outside all the chaos of vampires, werewolves, and sacrifice rituals.
Caroline nods in agreement anyway. She doesn't want Tyler to stay out in the cold despite the fact that his body temperature burns almost as high as a furnace sometimes. So she cups his face and tilts his head very gently to her before asking, "Can you stand, Tyler?"
He still looks at her like he's in daze, unable to understand her question, so she gives him time to gather his bearings before he manages to answer, "I think so."
She nods once and gives him a little space, but quickly comes closer again once she sees that he can hardly hold himself up. She takes one of his arms and places them very carefully around her shoulders. She knows that he feels extremely sore and that his muscles are worn out, so she tries to lift him up as slowly and gently as she can possibly manage, but Tyler still can't help but wince in pain. So she settles him down on the porch again and he gets comfortable despite the fact that he's lying on a hard wooden floor.
"He's too tired," she says, turning to Matt. "Maybe we should let him regain a bit of his strength first."
He nods and begins to eye his jacket that's hanging around way below Tyler's torso. "And maybe we should get him a bit dressed first."
Caroline realizes what he means and tries not to roll her eyes. But he has a point, so she gets up and tells him to wait there with Tyler before walking into the house and making her way up the long staircase.
It takes a while to find Tyler's room. The Lockwood mansion is enormous, with way too many rooms than anyone needs. She finds it eventually and lets herself in, giving herself only a few seconds to take in the appearance of his room before heading straight to his closet. She scans the drawers and the hangers, her eyes lingering a bit on Tyler's many suits and tuxedos. After looking a bit more thoroughly through Tyler's clothes, she decides to just grab a pair of his basketball shorts.
When she makes it back to the front porch, she observes that Matt appears to have stayed in the exact same stance as when she left. She sighs at her boyfriend's apprehension, feeling a bit surprised that, for a split second, she'd forgotten that they were in a relationship. This night was really doing crappy things to her head.
"Here," she hands him the pair of shorts, "you should be the one to put them on him."
The look Matt gives her annoys her. Was he really going to complain about dressing his best friend when it was his idea anyway? It wasn't such a hard task.
She's relieved when he decides to just suck it up and kneel down to do what hes asked. She turns around to give them some sort of privacy. Her vampire senses very clearly hear the rustling of Matt's jacket and Tyler's soft groans of discomfort as the human boy tries to put shorts on the werewolf as painlessly as possible. She turns around again once she hears Matt getting up, and returns to her previous position next to Tyler, feeling slightly more comfortable knowing that he wasn't completely naked anymore.
She fell back into stroking his forehead and hair as Tyler tried to fall asleep and regain his strength. The gesture is done so lazily and tenderly, as she'd gotten so accustomed to comforting him, it feels more like a reflex now.
Eventually she gets annoyed with Matt shuffling from behind her and sighs before tilting Tyler's head upwards to get him to open his eyes. She knew from his breathing that he was unable to fall asleep, so she figured it was best to get him on something soft so he could drift off and feel better sooner. Besides, she knew Matt was beginning to feel uncomfortable standing for so long and feeling like a third wheel. "Tyler?" she whispers.
Tyler raises his eyebrows just slightly to acknowledge that he heard her. "Do you wanna try standing up again?" she asks.
He makes an attempt to nod his head more than once but Caroline stops him, not wanting him to strain himself. She takes one of his arms and gently places it around her shoulders, similar to what she had done the first time. This time Tyler finds the strength to get himself on his two feet, but still greatly depending on her inhuman strength to keep him from collapsing again. Matt then makes his way to Tyler's other side unexpectedly, and swings the young werewolf's arm around his own shoulders to help, though not as concerned with Tyler's condition as Caroline was. Tyler winced in pain and sucked in a breath as Caroline tried not to give Matt's lack of consideration a look of disapproval.
They make their way slowly back into the house and towards one of the couches in the living room, stopping every few steps to help Tyler get used to walking again. Matt struggles a bit under Tyler's weight, leaving Caroline to do most of the work, not that it mattered. She was stronger than both of them anyway, even without effort.
Matt and Caroline made their way to the mayor's study to set Tyler down on the couch. He searched the room for a blanket while she stayed diligently by the werewolf's side, stroking his head and whispering comforting words in Tyler's ear. He finds a blanket and hands it to her, barely looking her in the eye. It bothers him how close she and Tyler are, the way she's so gentle and sweet around him as if he was her boyfriend. He watches her press her forehead down against Tyler's head and feels way too awkward to be near this nauseating scene.
"I'll—I think—… I'll be outside," he stammers. He makes his way out the room and closes the double doors behind him before either of them could protest (or agree, because back there it seemed like that was what they were going to do).
This was all just too weird for him. His girlfriend is a vampire and his best friend is a werewolf. People he'd grown up with his entire life have now dragged him into a world that was so new, so far-fetched, that he's getting dizzy after one night of supernatural. He looks out the windows and realizes that it's not as dark anymore, and that he's been up all night. This is Caroline's world now, he realizes. The world where the lines between life and death, day and night, are blurred to a point where sometimes, you can hardly tell the difference anymore. It's where fantasy becomes this sad and twisted reality. It amazes him how she can handle all this, which brings him to wonder.
Can he handle this?
He sighs and slumps on the couch, only now realizing how tired he really was.
Once Matt leaves the room, she feels her body loosen. She hadn't even realized how tense she had been around him. She's sitting on the carpeted floor, gently stroking Tyler's hair like she had been doing for the last few hours. Her cheek was resting on his temple with his eyes closed. She closes her eyes and focuses on his breathing. It's slow and steady and calms whatever is left of her nerves. He hasn't moved in a while and his whole body is relaxed, so she assumes he's finally asleep and let's herself drift off as well…
"Caroline?"
She opens her eyes in a flutter, suddenly feeling more clearly her body's longing to lie on something soft and sleep.
"Yeah?" She almost yawns.
"I'm sorry," Tyler whispers. His voice is a hoarse, like he hasn't had the chance to drink anything at all in days.
Confused, Caroline lifts her head up to face him. "For what?"
"For almost killing you again." His tone, though soft, sounds like there's supposed to be a 'duh' at the end of his sentence. She tries not to roll her eyes. Typical Tyler.
"It's not your fault, Tyler."
Tyler sighs and mumbles incoherently what is probably his argument to her own stubbornness before finally going off to la la land. Caroline chuckles softly to herself before giving Tyler a last glance and standing up to leave the room.
He's waiting for her on the couch outside the room. He was so tired. He had tried to sleep, but his subconscious was wide awake, and would not give him a chance to calm his reeling thoughts.
He turns around when he hears Caroline gently close the doors of the living room.
"How's Tyler doing?" he asks.
"Sleeping," she answers quietly, leaning on the threshold near him. "He should be better by morning. He just—he needs some rest."
He simply nods in understanding. "Good."
The tension is thick in the air, but Caroline's small, sweet smile takes just a bit of the edge off.
"So this is your life now, huh?"
"Never a dull moment," she tries to joke, but it just makes things more awkward for them both.
Never a dull moment indeed, he thinks. So many things are going through his mind, so many things that he wants to tell her, wants to ask. He'd been thinking things through while she was with Tyler, and in that moment, when he realized just how different things were for them now, he had made his decision. But he hadn't the slightest idea on how to articulate it.
So he decides to say what he knows is the truth.
"You know, these last few days with you have been… so great—," he starts. The way her eyes light up at his words spark the beginning of an ache in his chest. "—and fun, and so… Caroline." Her smile brightens further, but as she slowly closes the small distance between them, he begins to see what looks like understanding on her face. She knows what's coming, he realizes. It makes the ache in him grow. He doesn't want to hurt her, not really.
"And I—I thought I might be able to get past this whole vampire thing…" he trails off.
"But you can," she whispers, her eyes becoming sad. She sounds like she's trying to convince herself more than she's trying to convince him. He makes a gesture to shake his head and she immediately feels the same heavy sensation when her mother had first found out she was a vampire and refused to accept her.
She whispers his name and tries to get him to look at her pleading eyes, but he's already resolved on the matter.
"I don't—I don't know if I can, Caroline." His voice is shaking, and she tries to use that weakness to bring him back to her.
He hears the whimper in her voice and for a split second, considers changing his mind. But he snaps back just as quickly.
"I get it, this is your life now," he tries to tell her. "But you know what my life is, Care?"
She's shaking her head not because she doesn't know, but because she doesn't want him to say it. She knows that once he says it, it'll be the end for them. Once he reasons with her, she won't have anything left to say to change his mind.
"My life is an absentee mom," he starts, "and a bunch of bills to pay, and school, and a job, and it… it sucks sometimes."
He's not sure whether he can bear to look her in the eyes when he says it.
"But it's my life, and…" Here it goes. "… I think that I just wanna live it without all of this."
Were she still human, Caroline's tears would have been flowing out like a faucet. She would be screaming and she would be pleading for him to stay. But she wasn't human anymore, and Matt was right. This was her life now, and the fact that she chose to hold her tears back was a testament to how much she had changed. She gave him a piercing look with her sad eyes, and whispered, "Okay."
His blue eyes searched her face and he could see how hard it was for her to say that. She was definitely not okay with it. He sighs and sits down on a chair and buries his face in his hands. She remains standing and crosses her arms, leaning against the entryway again.
They don't move, they don't look at each other, they don't speak; the tension in the air is so thick that it almost feels solid on her skin. Neither party knew what to feel, and Caroline was beginning to wonder why Matt wouldn't just leave yet. If she was going to shed tears, she'd have preferred to do it alone.
He doesn't want to leave though. Because as sure and decided as he is, he's hoping that staying a little while longer will make his resolution falter, and that he'll change his mind and that they can be happy again. But he knew this was right, that prolonging this relationship would just be more painful for them both.
Time and time again they had tried to convince themselves that they were meant for each other, that they were not supposed to end. Not this way.
But if they were really being honest with themselves, some part of them had long accepted that they were never going to last. They loved each other, sure, but the roadblocks that life had laid out for them had become impossible to go around. Eventually, they were going to crash and burn and lose any piece that would be left of what they used to have. At least this way there was no huge wreckage, and there was a friendship that they could possibly still salvage if they tried.
She can't bring herself to look at him. After almost a year of struggles between them, it was all over, just like that. She knows she's supposed to feel grief. She's supposed to feel like breaking up didn't make any sense. She's supposed to feel some sort of determination that they can get past this whole mess, but all she really feels is acceptance.
It was practically a miracle they'd made it this far anyway, what with the odds being stacked high against them from the very beginning.
He was never going to fully accept her, she knew that now. And it wasn't just being a vampire that he couldn't accept. There was a part of her that always knew how he saw the real Caroline, the side of her that would always be an insecure, neurotic, control-freak. He had never tolerated her imperfections, much less embraced them. With her, he couldn't take the good with the bad, and had only loved her for the side of her that what he himself said was fun.
For Caroline, that wasn't love. When you love someone, you accepted every part of them, no matter what it was. You would never ask or expect them to change like how Matt had done with her. She had loved this boy, and loved his flaws, and now she was slowly coming to the realization that she deserved someone who could do the same for her.
Once upon a time, she been crazy about Matt, and when she had become a vampire, she'd clung to him as the only connection she had left to her humanity. But now, that was all he was. A representation of a time in her life when she was Caroline the human.
Now she was letting him go.
Matt lifted his head from his hands and turned to look out the window. The sun was beginning to show a sliver of its morning light. He was reminded of the first night he had spent with Caroline. He had woken up with his arms around her and a vague recollection of what had happened the previous night. When he had opened the window to sneak out, he'd taken a last look at her sleeping peacefully. She had looked so beautiful, the soft rays of light making her pale skin and blonde hair glow like she was the sun herself.
Caroline turned her head to the window too, letting the warmth touch her skin and closing her eyes to enjoy it. It was ironic, Matt thought, how she in that moment, she looked exactly as radiant as she had been that first morning.
At the sound of Matt standing up, Caroline looked up at him, with one last expression of goodbye on her face as she watched him open the door and close it behind him.
It had been a new day, when they had begun, with the sunrise shining on both of them, promising something entirely new for their lives. Now here they were, forever apart in the sunrise that had brought them together. It was a new day for them now, in more ways than one.
The sun was fully visible in the sky now. Caroline sighed, taking one last look before walking towards the study to check on Tyler.
After this, I hope you guys check out Crazy Beautiful. It's a collection of Forwood drabbles that I currently have going. Sadly, I don't have the time for a full-length, multichapter story, so I mainly focus on that.
It's 1AM right now, and I have exams tomorrow (kill me, it's Chemistry X.X), so I should keep this AN short :))
Reviews are love and deserve virtual chocolate chip cookies the way Trevino likes them ;)
Thanks for reading! :D
