"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Obviously prewedding and somewhat AU. Tweaking my lil' Xmas classic…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Prologue…

To begin with, Amy Farrah Fowler and Sheldon Lee Cooper were a couple…

You must believe that at least there is the bare possibility that they could have been a couple or there can be nothing wonderful in the tale I am about to relate…

As I said, Amy Farrah Fowler and Sheldon Lee Cooper were a couple…Had been for a couple of years…

More or less…

As to being a couple as it is generally understood…

More or less…

And of all the good days of the good year it was Christmas Eve….

And Sheldon, being Sheldon…

"Oh, Lord…I've doubted your existence since I was five and my cat died and you didn't revive her." sigh. "Doubt only strengthened by my scientific training and the event which followed. My father abandoning us*…My mom telling me I'd never need to worry about a man abandoning me, when I was eight…And then my poor sister was exiled to France when I was eleven*…And not a peep from you in response to rather eloquent prayers…" sigh.

"But…I have no other option." careful pause.

"All right…I know I'm supposed to be utterly honest in these communications. It would annoy my boyfriend Sheldon to know I'd temporarily abandoned my principles, caved to superstition, and appealed for divine assistance. But I'm desperate here…As you should know…If you are…All that…" offhand wave…

"And you owe me for favors unrendered…Not meaning to be unfair, but c'mon…You do…And this is such a little favor as opposed to making my father love me and my sis. Making my sis come home. Making me beautiful…"

Renewed sigh…

"I just want…Well, to paraphrase the song lyric… 'All I want for Christmas' is Sheldon…My boyfriend? Which if you can be of any assistance to me at all you should know. Just get him to care enough to be with me on Christmas…Or New Year's…I'd take that…I'm easy…In all possible ways. Strictly with regard to my Sheldon, of course. Please make him see how much his not caring enough to be with me tonight and tomorrow hurts me…Well, not too much…I love him, I don't want to see him hurt…Much." sidelong glance from folded hands… "You got that? Oh, and if you can, please make my sister happier. Thanks…Uh…Yours respectfully, Amy Farrah Fowler, Ph.D."

"Well? You heard that?"

"I heard it…" sigh.

"We've been a little slow with this case, haven't we, Joseph…?"

"There's been a lot going on, sir…Not that I'm making excuses…"

"This young lady's been through a good deal. I realize we've got a lot of folks with more immediate problems. And she is an American which gives her a pretty darn good start compared to billions of good suffering folk…Still…"

"I know, sir…We'll get right on it…"

"And that boy…Dear God…Joseph, make sure it hurts a little. I know we're not in that end of the business but he's getting off a good deal too easily most days…"

"I was thinkin' that myself, sir. Uh, sir…If we are sending someone down…"

"Someone in mind, Joseph?"

"Well, sir…You know that fellow we sent down in '46, the clockmaker? The one who hadn't gotten his wings?"

"Oh, yes…Clarence…But he got them on that case, the Bailey case, wasn't it?"

"Well, yes…He did. But…His wife, sir…"

"Oh right, he was married. Oh…That one…The innkeeper's daughter? The barmaid…?"

"She likes to claim her real career's acting, sir."

"Oh, yes…Well, given her era…One could laud her spirit, Joseph."

"Ever see her act, sir…?"

"I see…And still no wings…?"

"A fitting match for our Clarence, sir…"

"Now, Joseph…Clarence did very well on that case. Got his wings and all…"

"And put in a special request for his wife to have another chance…Her fourth try, sir."

Hmmn… "Right…She's had a little difficulty. A bit of temper among other things…"

"A bit? Sir, when she's in fury, the other side's afraid of her. They wouldn't have her if they could get her…"

"But Clarence loves her, Joseph. And a temper isn't necessarily a bad thing when in the right cause. Send for her…Send for Penelope…"

"Sir?"

"Clarence?...I thought we sent for Penelope…"

"Just wanted to see if perhaps I could assist her on this one, sir. She's a good heart but she's had a bit of bad luck on the previous tries…"

"Clarence…You know policy…Penelope must do this on her own…"

"Ready and able, sir…Clarence?" hiss… "I tole you I didn't need your help…I can manage…"

"We can still hear you, girl…" Joseph, annoyed tone.

"Penny…I just wanted to…"

" I know. Dumb Penelope can't earn her wings without the help of her successful angel husband. Just like back on Earth, I couldn't go with you to fight the redcoats…But I did, didn't I? And I can handle this. Sorry, sir…Joseph…"

"It's all right, Penelope…Clarence is just being protective. Clarence…Penelope will get this assignment and she'll do her best, I'm sure. Don't worry…"

"Absobloomingtootly…Sir." Quick glance to Clarence, now visible as a short, portly fellow with large nose, balding head…And wings… "Thanks…I love you for tryin…" whisper…Beam…

"I'll keep my wings crossed, Penny…" Clarence sighed. "Good luck, sweetheart…"

"Just remember we have dinner with the Roosevelts tomorrow night so don't get into a card game at the old tavern with the fellas…And no rum toddies…They still give you the equivalent of gout." kiss blown…Clarence reluctantly flying off…

"He's a good soul, Penny."

"The best, Sir. Now, as to my mission?"

"Yes…A troubled young woman is nearing a crisis of faith, Penelope. Our computers project that if she stays on her current course she may soon fall completely into despair. And seriously consider giving up God's greatest gift…"

"Oh my…" brightening… "Well, you've picked the right girl, sir. Our family's dealt with this sort of thing before with complete success…"

"Stumbling into luck is what I'd call it…" Joseph…

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Penelope…"

"Sorry, sir…I have a little problem with my temper, sir…"

"A big problem after three failures. Each one having to be saved by others." Joseph…

"I only lost my temper cause I saw wrong being done! Sir…Sirs…"

"Penelope, sometimes it's necessary to look past the wrong and try to understand the cause…Not in all cases, but sometimes…"

"You guessed I was gonna bring up Hitler, eh sir?"

"Lets say, I already knew you would, Penny. Now as to the mission…The young woman's despair is due to problems in her relationship…"

"That jerk…As they say nowadays, sir."

"Let the man finish, girl…"

"Sorry, sir…"

"It's fine…And the young man in question is unquestionably acting like, as you say, a jerk."

"They usually are…Exceptin' my Clarence…" fond beam. "I knew right from the first day he came into the tavern…"

Hmmphf…Joseph…

"Oh…Sorry, sir…Didn't mean to reminisce on your time, sir."

"It's fine…But I am concerned, Penelope. Can you deal with this young man without losing your temper? If you don't believe you can, there's no shame, we can get someone else…"

"I'd do my best, sir. Please, sir…It's become a little embarrassing for Clarence. Not that he's ever said or would say anything. But I know the lads in the tavern tease him about it…Though he never lets it bother him…"

"A sensible man, Clarence…"

"I've tried to learn patience from him. I think I've learnt some, enough I hope."

"Well, I have to say this one will try your patience very severely. But, lets give it a whirl and see, all right?"

"Yes, sir…You can count on me, sir."

Joseph giving off air of sufferance…

Right…We'll see…Again…

"Now here's the young man in question. I'm helping you, can you see him?"

"Oh, why yes…Oh, this is just like Clarence said…Marvelous…"

"He'll be your prime focus in this case. So don't expect it to merely be a repeat of what your husband did back in '46…"

"Oh, no sir…"

*To learn about Amy's sister Charlotte, you might wish to read my earlier "Gran Mag", though this one is not carrying on from it. Call it a prequel if you like.

As for Amy's dad, of course current dad is Amy's beloved stepfather (in my AU).