SHIELD Recruit Survival Tip #1:
"Always make more coffee if you empty the pot. You do not want to know what will happen to you if fail to do so."
Dean let out a tight sigh as he walked into the break room. It had been three weeks since he'd been recruited into the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division, and he was still getting very little sleep along with constantly getting his ass kicked on a regular basis. It hadn't been this hard when he was in the FBI. He'd never been so sore, for so long, in his entire life. He was half-positive that his arms were going to fall off.
All he wanted to do was to fall off of the edge of the earth and sleep for a week. Or maybe a month. Unfortunately, he was on-call for at least the next twenty-four hours.
Rubbing fatigue from his gaze, he brightened slightly at the sight of coffee—however little there may be—still sitting in the pot. He padded over, limbs heavy, and poured himself a cup. It tasted like dirt, but it was warm and there was enough caffeine to wake him up. Letting out a groan, his light eyes rolled back for an instant, and he smiled into the mug. He leaned against the counter, happy to relax for the first time what seemed like forever.
It didn't last long.
"Hey, Collins!" A voice called from the doorway, and he glanced over at his fellow recruit—a young blonde, CIA reject who had bubblegum lips and a wickedly high accuracy level; he thought her name was Cathy or Kate, but he just called her Smith. "Get your ass in gear! That Spider-Dude has been spotted in downtown New York again, and Fury wants us to tag along with Coulson."
"Yeah, yeah," he nodded, downing the last of the coffee with a cringe. He set the mug in the sink and followed after her. "Jesus… can't even catch a five minute break."
As he walked through the door, an exhausted looking Clint Barton and his partner Natasha Romanoff brushed by. He offered a brief smile that wasn't returned, and his face fell as he turned to face Agent Smith. Her brow quirked up, and she gazed at him in amusement.
"Careful, Collins." She warned, tone playful even as she turned on her heel. "Your lazy is showing."
Looking affronted, his brow furrowed as he took chase. He opened his mouth, ready to protest—he wasn't being lazy, after all. He'd just been working for far longer than her little busy body had even been on the register. He was cut off, however, by the sound of a loud crash coming from behind them in the break room. Turning, he listened to a litany of curses come floating out, followed closely by the coffee pot being slung through the threshold, only to shatter against the wall.
"What the hell—?" Dean's green eyes widened in surprise, and he almost moved to go see what had happened.
"That's the third pot this week," the chipper, familiar voice of Agent Phil Coulson chimed in.
The brunette glanced over to find their Senor Agent standing astride them, hands in his pockets and brow furrowed. Agent Collins and Agent Smith shared a curious look, as if daring the other to ask the question that was burning on both of their tongues. Neither of them would take the bait, but Coulson didn't need them to.
"Lesson number one of the things that your superiors don't tell you to do after training," Phil quirked a small, seemingly forced smile. "Don't leave the coffee pot empty. You won't like what happens."
He peered over at them when they didn't respond, eyes unfathomable and unrevealing. Dean could feel Agent Smith shift uncomfortably next to him, and he swallowed thickly. Tense as he was, he jerked at the sound of another crash, and flinched as it was finished off by some very inventive Russian curses.
Phil sighed, turning the opposite direction and gesturing for the two of them to follow. "Come on. We probably don't want to stick around to see what else happens."
Agent Smith was quick to follow. Dean was even more eager.
TBC.
A/N: This will be an on-going FanFiction based off of each of the Survival Tips from the infamous Tumblr shieldrecruitsurvivaltips. Do feel free to join our two new recruits on their misadventures.
Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to S.H.I.E.L.D. or to the Tips given. Only the characters are my original idea.
Warning: There will be possible sexual situations, foul language, and adult content.
