Disclaimer: A drabble parody with references to Tolkien's The Silmarillion and a wee bit of Pratchett's Wintersmith.
I do not own any characters in here that may look familiar. They belong to Tolkien and Pratchett.
Criticism is very much welcomed! :)
And thus it was in the winter of the year of Innumerable and Excessively Prolonged Lamentation ("Nónëed Fordé Hänkǽ") that Indolen Magnum (Elvish for "the Great and Mighty One that the Lord Elmo, God of the Waves, Rocks and Miscellaneous Sea Creatures that produce Pearls, Decreed Would Save the Entire Civilization of Elfdom with his Mighty Sword", and the name was given by his mother's best friend Tarragon who saith thus at the birth of the beautiful infant: "And thou shalt be named Indolen Magnum, the Great and Mighty One, eksetera eksetera") came to the hidden kingdom of Laurelindorenanisaplacewedontknowdrawitonthemapyegods, where it was always summer and never winter(1).
And in this fair and lovely land, Indolen Magnum spurred his trusty steed through the fair woods, where the trees were always fair, and the tracks were fair, and the weather was fair, and really, it's amazing how much justice you can find in so much chaos as woodland growth. Thus, the brave warrior on his proud stallion sped through the fair woods, and when night fell, he came to a fair stream whence flowed the icy waters out of the Elf Queen's palace. He laid down to rest for the night beside the stream and it seemed that the very trees spoke to him with the wind in their leaves and twiggy branches.
Ere long a silver light fell upon his face, and he awoke, and rose. There was a lady fair before him, beautiful as the sun, fair as the moon, statuesque as Helen of Troy, and etc etc. And he gazed upon the lady in wonder, and spoke, "A strange meeting indeed, beneath the stars, in these woods of the fair Elf Queen on this night. What may be your errand, pray tell me, my lady?"
And the lady drew a jeweled sword from its jeweled sheath, and cut Indolen Magnum's head off.
And then she kicked his body into the stream and said thus, "I got an elemental out of my place, mister, so don't mess with me."
And Indolen Magnum, having been recently relieved of his goodly head, said nothing. He was carried away in the fair waters of the stream, and thence on to the Rushing Falls, where he was buried beneath the waves and thereby passed into oblivion.
As for his horse, the Queen took the stallion and ate him for dinner.
(1) Due to a quirk in the Earth's seasons, the Wintersmith tended to avoid this place. Probably it's because of the Elf Queen's royal decree that said: "Get that bugger out of my place, RIGHT NOW" about three thousand years ago.
