Erev Shel Shoshanim: Evening of Roses

~* Erev shel shoshanim (Evening of Roses)*~

I look outside my palace bedroom window into the large garden below as the sun sets slowly in the distance. A calm wind blows. 'Why don't I go out for a walk?' I think quietly to myself. 'It might do me some good.'

~*Nitsey na habustan (Let us go out to the grove)*~

I walk out into the large rose garden staring into the pre-evening sky hoping you'll be there. But somehow.. I know you won't be.. You're too busy working to even notice me now. I use to be able to get you away from work without anything being bothered. Now.. It feels so different.

Slowly, I kneel down next to a rose bush my pink kimono softly falling around me a light and gentle breeze billowing my hair. I stare deep into a soft pink rose and see your face. Quickly, I close my eyes and turn away still seeing your face in the darkness and depths of my own mind. I've seen your face in everything.. I don't know what to do. Oh Koenma.. Don't you love me anymore?

~* Mor besamim ulevona (Myrrh, fragrant spices, and incense)

L'raglech miftan. (Are a threshold for your feet.)*~

I open my eyes again and watch as the sun slowly sets in the horizon as a light wind filled with the scent of fragrant spices and myrrh softly blows by. I turn to a large garden clock and find it reads "7:00." You usually get off work for dinner by now. I turn up to your office window and see you doing as planned. I start to run back to you only to stop dead in my tracks. Inside are Yusuke and Kuwabara dragging your teen half away against your will.. No doubt to fool around in the Rekai or Ningekai for a "guys' night out".. But for a brief instant your beautiful brown eyes lock with mine, and I see an infinite depths of sadness and regret. You don't want to leave with them do you? And yet you still let them take you away. Why?

~* Lai la yored le'at (Night falls slowly)*~

I turn back to the setting sun and watch as its long orange hands stretch over the Rekai. Another wind blows.. With the scent of roses to it.

~* Veru'ach shoshan noshvak (And a wind of roses is blowing)*~

Around me, the wind billows gentle pink rose petals filling the air with their sweet scent. I close my eyes and see your face once more as my hair flies around me. I reach up into my long blue locks and remove the band tying my hair sending it into a frenzy with the wind and rose petals. I turn up to your window once more only to find you gone.

Perhaps I'm just being selfish.. I mean.. Who wouldn't prefer to go out and have fun in the Ningekai with Yusuke and Kuwabara rather than just some old, plain, regular ferry girl? You would prefer that.. Right? You say you don't.. But.. Still...

~* Havah el chash lach shir balat (Let me whisper a song to you secretly)*~

I listen to the wind around me and find it whispering a distant song as the last of the sun's fingers are dragged below the horizon as an idea comes to my mind.. Yusuke and Kuwabara don't really respect you do they? And I was just stupid to realize it.. I turn as I hear your distant unwilling yells down the hall. I'm tempted to run to you, but your cries quickly fade away with a "Koenma you're such a baby! You need to get out once in a while!" Then silence fills the garden, and I realize I'm all alone again.

In the distance, I see the first stars make their way into the sky. I turn my pink eyes up to the first one I see.

"Starlight star bright," I began quietly. "First star I see tonight. I wish I may.. I wish I might.. Please.. Let me have this wish I wish tonight."

The stars twinkle brightly.

"I wish I could be able to see Koenma again," I whisper quietly somehow knowing it might never come true.

~* Zemer shel ahava (A song of love.)*~

The wind blows around me seeming whispering a song of love. As comforting as the thought is.. Do you still love me? Do you still always think of me as you said you did?

I look up into the darkening sky as more stars come out. I stare deep into the dark blue depths of the sky and see your face in the stars as though you were quietly watching over me. I close my eyes and see your face once more. Through the darkness of my mind I see the twinkle of the stars in your eyes and the crescent of the moon in your smile. Slowly, I lay myself down into the warm grass as I open my eyes again and stare into the night seeing your face.. Faces.. if you count your toddler form with its large hat and tiny features.

Another wind blows as I imagine your eyes gazing deep into mine as I drift to sleep amongst the roses.

~* Shachar homa yonah (Dawn, a dove is cooing)

Roshech ma'ale t'lalim (Your head is filled with dew)*~

The bright morning sunlight floods my dreams of you and me as it chases me away. I find myself looking to the bright blue sky as the clouds roll by as I feel the cold dew on my head as my lips turn pink as I bite down on them. In the distance I hear the morning doves coo telling of the day.

~* Pich el haboker shoshana (Your mouth is a rose unto the morning)*~

I continue staring in a daze still missing you as suddenly a pair of lips presses to mine. My eyes go wide as I see a familiar face with the word "Jr." tattooed on its forehead its familiar eyes baring deep into mine.

~* Ektefenu li. (I will pick it for myself.)*~

(Author's Note: well.. I'd say Botan was rather o.o.c... don't you think so? *sighs* just flame it. I own nothing.)