She wiped the quick moving tears.
"He's braindead"
"I know" she pulled her hair back into a ponytail,"But I don't
understand Dr.Greene.."
Mark shrugged, his eyes rimmed with red, bloodshot."Carter's..
I mean John.."
"I know" Jing Mei said quietly,tears racing down her face.
"The rest is up to you"
She looked down at the ring on her finger, the diamond reflecting
her tears."Thank you.."
****************************
I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity
****************************
"I remeber" she brushed the hair out of his eyes."The first time you asked
me out" Jing Mei traced his eyelids, running her finger over his cheek.
"You were scared, scared shitless..but you did it"
"I wish you could remember with me" she sighed loudly,voice shaking.
*flashback*
"Deb!" she listened to his footsteps pound behind her as he
ran to catch up with her
"John?" Jing Mei looked down at her watch, then back at his pale
face,"What's wrong?"
He shook his head,"Hey, um, I was wondering.."
She raised an eyebrow
"Dinner? Tonight, with me?"
Jing Mei started laughing."That's why you had to chase me down
and scare me to death? To ask me to dinner?"
He nodded
"Okay" she smiled,watching him dash back towards the hospital
*end of flashback*
"You always had the funniest way of approaching me.Like I was going
to break or something" Jing Mei stroked the top of his hand.She
lowered herself into the chair beside him.Still holding onto his
limp hand.
***********************
I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
************************
The sun was starting to set when she stood up and strecthed.
"You picked me up at 7, was it?" her eyes crinkled with the
memory,"I remeber, because you called before and said you were
going to be early, and to be ready at 6" Jing Mei laughed,
shuffling over to the blinds, which she pulled shut.
"I was so angry at you"Jing Mei pulled out the ponytail she had
made early and shuffled to the mirror."I had spent forever getting
ready, because, like you know, I had spent so much time being
secretly in love with you"
She looked at her face carefully in the mirror, touching the bags
under her eyes in disgust."You knew it, though"
*flashback*
*knock* *knock*
"You better have a good excuse John!" she spat, swinging the door
open.
Carter held up the giant bouquet of pink roses in front of his face.
"I do"
"Tell me"she tapped her heeled foot
"Can I come in?" he asked meekly
Jing Mei started to laugh."You told me 6.."
"And Kerry decided I should come at 7" he pulled the roses down
and smiled a crooked smile at her,making Jing Mei melt.
"Fine" she sighed,"Let me get my coat"
"You look nice" Carter called
Jing Mei swung around,"You're late.You're not allowed to check me out"
she winked
He laughed
*end of flashback*
"Ever so the charmer" she tucked pieces of hair behind her ears,
"Had me all along"
*********************************
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing
********************************
Jing Mei smiled at the nurse and shut the door behind the woman.
"I think it was Italian.I remeber you told me you avoided Chinese
food on purpose, something about offending me"
She laughed, pulling the shirt haphazardly over her head.Jing Mei
pulled the scrub top over her bra,folding the t-shirt she had thrown
at his feet.
"Everything I did with you after that,didn't compare.Man, if I knew
having dinner would lead to my marrying you, we would have done that
along time ago" Jing Mei laughed, "It would have saved us both
alot of heartache".
*flashback*
"She hasn't gotten off my case"
"You?" Jing Mei raised an eyebrow,"You? Kerry DOES NOT harrass you!"
Carter leaned back in his chair,"Right"
"Oh come on! I'm on her hit list!" Jing Mei cried
Carter smirked,"Only because you outshine her"
"Now you're just sweettalking" she softly smiled,"It's not flattering
for you at all"
"Come on!" he leaned over the table,looking at her wildly,"All the guys.."
"The guys?" Jing Mei smirked
"The guys" Carter grinned,"Agree you're more attractive than Kerry"
Jing Mei kicked his shin under the table,"That's no way into my pants"
His face turned bright red.
"Comparing me to Weaver.." she shook her head
"I wasn't..."
"Your tie's in your food, John" Jing Mei smiled.
*********************************
If you give me half a chance
I'll prove this to you
I will be patience, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respect's the spirit world
And thinks with his heart
*********************************
She held up the scrub bottoms the nurse had given her and laid them
back down on the bed."Chemistry is funny"
"I was so attracted to you, but when it came time to kiss you goodnight,
I dunno.." Jing Mei wiped a lone tear racing down her cheek,"I freaked
I guess.I had heard so much from the nurses and med students" she raised
an eyebrow,smoothing the blanket over Carter's still body,"about you."
Jing Mei laughed, folding her hands on her lap,"I didn't know what to
expect. Evidently, you didn't either. You acted like the old Carter.
Tripping all over yourself when I asked you in. I thought you would choke
to death when I asked you to unzip my dress.Evidently, you were thinking
the same thing I was" she leaned over the bed and kissed his forehead,
"I need you John.."
She carefully rested her head on his chest and sighed.
*flashback*
He looked at the back of her dress,hands shaking.
Jing Mei pursed her lips, holding her hair up.
"I..I can't"
She raised an eyebrow,"John?"
"No, I can't."
Jing Mei turned around."How do I get you to help me?"
He shrugged.
"You're freaked out!" she teased,"It's just me..." Jing Mei
stopped."Ohh.."
Carter nodded.
"What if I.." she stood on his shoes, and wrapped her arms
around his neck,"Kissed you, would you?"
"I.."
Jing Mei brought her lips to his, and kissed him gently.She smiled
when she saw his eyes still closed after she pulled away."So?"
"Deb..."
"Come on John" she took his hand,"We should do this in the bedroom.
All my clothes are there anyway.."
He nodded."Deb?"
"Hmm?"
"Nevermind" a slow grin spread across his face.
********************************
I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can
*******************************
*flashback*
She pulled the blanket over her head."Ugh"
"Hmmm?"
"I said ugh" Jing Mei muttered."Work?"
"It's Saturday"
"I don't need a calender as long as I have John Carter" she chuckled,
peeking out from under the sheets,"Coffee?"
"Sorry.."
"The maker's on the counter"
He laughed, folding the newspaper he had open."Deb"
"Right.." she pulled the blankets back and sat up in the bed."So"
"I thought this would be more akward"
Jing Mei nodded,"Me too"
"But it's not"
She shook her head
"You're cute in the morning"
Jing Mei narrowed her eyes,"Yeah..hey baby"
Carter laughed.
"Coffee in like two minutes" she swung her legs over the bed, reaching
for her robe.
"Wait!"
She turned around,startled."What?"
Carter jumped up, and grabbed her around the waist."Good morning Deb"
he pulled her to him, kissing her deeply.
"Morning John" she walked to the kitchen with a giant smile on
her face.
*end of flashback*
*******************************
"BP 100 over 98" the nurse said outloud
Jing Mei watched her carefully, her careless manner with Carter.
"Temp 99.8"
"Shouldn't you do something about that?" Jing Mei pipped up.
"It's a low grade, Dr.Chen.I have no orders to do anything
about a fever"
"He doesn't have an infection" she tucked her legs under her in the
chair,"Why would he have a low grade?"
The nurse shrugged."I'll come back to change the iv fluids"
Jing Mei narrowed her eyes."I can't do anything really.I'm not like
you John." she took a deep breath,"Just not as strong"
*flashback*
"He's bleeding out John!"
All around them, machines hummed, and nurses dashed at frantic
paces.
"Next time you do anything that resembles surgery,I'll give you
a call" Carter snapped,"Call Benton!"
"It's not necessary" Jing Mei told the nurse,narrowing her eyes.
"Are you questioning my judgement,Dr.Chen?"
She shook her head,tearing her gloves off,"No,I'm questioning mine"
Jing Mei pushed her way out of the trauma room."Randi?"
The desk clerk looked up from her magazine."Yeah?"
"Page Benton.He's needed in trauma 2" she walked to the lounge, holding
back tears.
*end of flashback*
"I'm only here because you're here.Because I stood up in that church
and told every single person there that I would be here" she started
to cry quietly,"I don't wanna be here.." Jing Mei watched the nurses run
back and forth in front of the room.
**************************************
I am ready for love
**************************************
*flashback*
"Abby?"
"Dr.Chen?"
"Did you see who put the roses on my locker?"
Abby shrugged,"Sorry"
Jing Mei pulled up a chair, and sat staring at the pink roses.
"Dr.Chen?"
She looked over her shoulder,"I..Abby?"
"Maybe it's..."
Jing Mei shook her head,"Don't say it"
"Me"
She turned around and looked back at the door of her locker.
"I'm sorry"
"Quit acting like we're in a relationship.We slept together once"she
pushed the chair away angrily,throwing the roses to the ground.
Carter stood quiet, watching the small jewerly box fall from the
flowers.
Jing Mei's eyes followed the box, then looked up at him.
"I thought of it as something more, but if that's how you see it" he bent
down to pick up the box.
"One date?"
Carter stood back up and stuck his hands in his pockets."Yeah.It only
took one date"
"You know that..it's forever, right?"
Carter nodded.
*end of flashback*
*******************************************
Here with a offering of
My voice
My Eyes
My soul
My mind
*******************************************
"We were going to start World War three in Chicago" Jing Mei pulled
the washcloth over his chest,"My mother and the Carters" she sighed,
ringing out the water into the tub of now cold water the nurse had
helped her get."I was waiting for you to correct me.It was just your
mother and grandmother, right?"
"My family wanted the tradional Chinese wedding,to make up for who
I was marrying, I guess" Jing Mei laughed, tucking pieces of hair behind
her ears,"You..well, that was the most easygoing I had ever seen you."
"The best idea you ever had was us running away to get married.It made
everyone angry, but I'm glad we did it" she bent down and kissed his
neck,"It was funny, because it looked like the two rich brats were
trying to act rebellious"
"No more water" Jing Mei watched the washcloth sink to the bottom of
the tub,"You look clean enough"
She put the tub of water beside her as she sunk back into the chair.
*flashback*
He gave her a squeeze."Only you would bring me here"
"Motel 6?"
Carter nodded,pulling the blanket back up that threatened to
expose him.
"It couldn't be my honeymoon without staying at a cheap motel"
Jing Mei raised an eyebrow,looking up at him from his chest.
"Your turn"
She wrinkled her nose."Oh yay"
"We can call the hospital later" Carter smiled,reaching over for
the phone.
"You can at least be naked when I do this!" she giggled, rolling over
to the opposite side of the bed.
"What good will that do?" Carter smirked.
"So I can remeber why I did all this" Jing Mei laughed
*end of flashback*
She looked at the new nurse that came in."Where's..?"
"Shift change" the woman turned around,"Oh wow.."
Jing Mei wrinkled her brow,"Is everything alright?"
The nurse nodded,"I came into the ER awhile back.Suicide attempt",
the woman dabbed at his arm carefully,"He was the only one who
took the time to talk to me"
Jing Mei smiled.
"I'm sorry" the nurse said over her shoulder as she walked out of
the room.
****************************
Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love
I am ready…
*****************************
Jing Mei squinted at the neon light coming from the bathroom.
"I was up all last night" she took a deep breath,"In the bathroom
of your hospital room" she wrapped his arm around her as Jing
Mei tried to go back to sleep.
"I wanted this to happen with you. You were supposed to be excited
and funny and silly and everything you are when you're overly happy."
she snuggled into his limp arm, clutching his hand with hers.
"John" a giant lump collected in her throat,"I'm pregnant".
She turned away, to wrap her arms around herself and try to sleep.
Jing Mei went to pull her hand away, when she felt resistance."John?"
She turned to her other side,facing him.
In the dark, he winked at her.
"John!"
"Sshhh" he said hoarsely,"I love you"
"He's braindead"
"I know" she pulled her hair back into a ponytail,"But I don't
understand Dr.Greene.."
Mark shrugged, his eyes rimmed with red, bloodshot."Carter's..
I mean John.."
"I know" Jing Mei said quietly,tears racing down her face.
"The rest is up to you"
She looked down at the ring on her finger, the diamond reflecting
her tears."Thank you.."
****************************
I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity
****************************
"I remeber" she brushed the hair out of his eyes."The first time you asked
me out" Jing Mei traced his eyelids, running her finger over his cheek.
"You were scared, scared shitless..but you did it"
"I wish you could remember with me" she sighed loudly,voice shaking.
*flashback*
"Deb!" she listened to his footsteps pound behind her as he
ran to catch up with her
"John?" Jing Mei looked down at her watch, then back at his pale
face,"What's wrong?"
He shook his head,"Hey, um, I was wondering.."
She raised an eyebrow
"Dinner? Tonight, with me?"
Jing Mei started laughing."That's why you had to chase me down
and scare me to death? To ask me to dinner?"
He nodded
"Okay" she smiled,watching him dash back towards the hospital
*end of flashback*
"You always had the funniest way of approaching me.Like I was going
to break or something" Jing Mei stroked the top of his hand.She
lowered herself into the chair beside him.Still holding onto his
limp hand.
***********************
I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
************************
The sun was starting to set when she stood up and strecthed.
"You picked me up at 7, was it?" her eyes crinkled with the
memory,"I remeber, because you called before and said you were
going to be early, and to be ready at 6" Jing Mei laughed,
shuffling over to the blinds, which she pulled shut.
"I was so angry at you"Jing Mei pulled out the ponytail she had
made early and shuffled to the mirror."I had spent forever getting
ready, because, like you know, I had spent so much time being
secretly in love with you"
She looked at her face carefully in the mirror, touching the bags
under her eyes in disgust."You knew it, though"
*flashback*
*knock* *knock*
"You better have a good excuse John!" she spat, swinging the door
open.
Carter held up the giant bouquet of pink roses in front of his face.
"I do"
"Tell me"she tapped her heeled foot
"Can I come in?" he asked meekly
Jing Mei started to laugh."You told me 6.."
"And Kerry decided I should come at 7" he pulled the roses down
and smiled a crooked smile at her,making Jing Mei melt.
"Fine" she sighed,"Let me get my coat"
"You look nice" Carter called
Jing Mei swung around,"You're late.You're not allowed to check me out"
she winked
He laughed
*end of flashback*
"Ever so the charmer" she tucked pieces of hair behind her ears,
"Had me all along"
*********************************
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing
********************************
Jing Mei smiled at the nurse and shut the door behind the woman.
"I think it was Italian.I remeber you told me you avoided Chinese
food on purpose, something about offending me"
She laughed, pulling the shirt haphazardly over her head.Jing Mei
pulled the scrub top over her bra,folding the t-shirt she had thrown
at his feet.
"Everything I did with you after that,didn't compare.Man, if I knew
having dinner would lead to my marrying you, we would have done that
along time ago" Jing Mei laughed, "It would have saved us both
alot of heartache".
*flashback*
"She hasn't gotten off my case"
"You?" Jing Mei raised an eyebrow,"You? Kerry DOES NOT harrass you!"
Carter leaned back in his chair,"Right"
"Oh come on! I'm on her hit list!" Jing Mei cried
Carter smirked,"Only because you outshine her"
"Now you're just sweettalking" she softly smiled,"It's not flattering
for you at all"
"Come on!" he leaned over the table,looking at her wildly,"All the guys.."
"The guys?" Jing Mei smirked
"The guys" Carter grinned,"Agree you're more attractive than Kerry"
Jing Mei kicked his shin under the table,"That's no way into my pants"
His face turned bright red.
"Comparing me to Weaver.." she shook her head
"I wasn't..."
"Your tie's in your food, John" Jing Mei smiled.
*********************************
If you give me half a chance
I'll prove this to you
I will be patience, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respect's the spirit world
And thinks with his heart
*********************************
She held up the scrub bottoms the nurse had given her and laid them
back down on the bed."Chemistry is funny"
"I was so attracted to you, but when it came time to kiss you goodnight,
I dunno.." Jing Mei wiped a lone tear racing down her cheek,"I freaked
I guess.I had heard so much from the nurses and med students" she raised
an eyebrow,smoothing the blanket over Carter's still body,"about you."
Jing Mei laughed, folding her hands on her lap,"I didn't know what to
expect. Evidently, you didn't either. You acted like the old Carter.
Tripping all over yourself when I asked you in. I thought you would choke
to death when I asked you to unzip my dress.Evidently, you were thinking
the same thing I was" she leaned over the bed and kissed his forehead,
"I need you John.."
She carefully rested her head on his chest and sighed.
*flashback*
He looked at the back of her dress,hands shaking.
Jing Mei pursed her lips, holding her hair up.
"I..I can't"
She raised an eyebrow,"John?"
"No, I can't."
Jing Mei turned around."How do I get you to help me?"
He shrugged.
"You're freaked out!" she teased,"It's just me..." Jing Mei
stopped."Ohh.."
Carter nodded.
"What if I.." she stood on his shoes, and wrapped her arms
around his neck,"Kissed you, would you?"
"I.."
Jing Mei brought her lips to his, and kissed him gently.She smiled
when she saw his eyes still closed after she pulled away."So?"
"Deb..."
"Come on John" she took his hand,"We should do this in the bedroom.
All my clothes are there anyway.."
He nodded."Deb?"
"Hmm?"
"Nevermind" a slow grin spread across his face.
********************************
I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can
*******************************
*flashback*
She pulled the blanket over her head."Ugh"
"Hmmm?"
"I said ugh" Jing Mei muttered."Work?"
"It's Saturday"
"I don't need a calender as long as I have John Carter" she chuckled,
peeking out from under the sheets,"Coffee?"
"Sorry.."
"The maker's on the counter"
He laughed, folding the newspaper he had open."Deb"
"Right.." she pulled the blankets back and sat up in the bed."So"
"I thought this would be more akward"
Jing Mei nodded,"Me too"
"But it's not"
She shook her head
"You're cute in the morning"
Jing Mei narrowed her eyes,"Yeah..hey baby"
Carter laughed.
"Coffee in like two minutes" she swung her legs over the bed, reaching
for her robe.
"Wait!"
She turned around,startled."What?"
Carter jumped up, and grabbed her around the waist."Good morning Deb"
he pulled her to him, kissing her deeply.
"Morning John" she walked to the kitchen with a giant smile on
her face.
*end of flashback*
*******************************
"BP 100 over 98" the nurse said outloud
Jing Mei watched her carefully, her careless manner with Carter.
"Temp 99.8"
"Shouldn't you do something about that?" Jing Mei pipped up.
"It's a low grade, Dr.Chen.I have no orders to do anything
about a fever"
"He doesn't have an infection" she tucked her legs under her in the
chair,"Why would he have a low grade?"
The nurse shrugged."I'll come back to change the iv fluids"
Jing Mei narrowed her eyes."I can't do anything really.I'm not like
you John." she took a deep breath,"Just not as strong"
*flashback*
"He's bleeding out John!"
All around them, machines hummed, and nurses dashed at frantic
paces.
"Next time you do anything that resembles surgery,I'll give you
a call" Carter snapped,"Call Benton!"
"It's not necessary" Jing Mei told the nurse,narrowing her eyes.
"Are you questioning my judgement,Dr.Chen?"
She shook her head,tearing her gloves off,"No,I'm questioning mine"
Jing Mei pushed her way out of the trauma room."Randi?"
The desk clerk looked up from her magazine."Yeah?"
"Page Benton.He's needed in trauma 2" she walked to the lounge, holding
back tears.
*end of flashback*
"I'm only here because you're here.Because I stood up in that church
and told every single person there that I would be here" she started
to cry quietly,"I don't wanna be here.." Jing Mei watched the nurses run
back and forth in front of the room.
**************************************
I am ready for love
**************************************
*flashback*
"Abby?"
"Dr.Chen?"
"Did you see who put the roses on my locker?"
Abby shrugged,"Sorry"
Jing Mei pulled up a chair, and sat staring at the pink roses.
"Dr.Chen?"
She looked over her shoulder,"I..Abby?"
"Maybe it's..."
Jing Mei shook her head,"Don't say it"
"Me"
She turned around and looked back at the door of her locker.
"I'm sorry"
"Quit acting like we're in a relationship.We slept together once"she
pushed the chair away angrily,throwing the roses to the ground.
Carter stood quiet, watching the small jewerly box fall from the
flowers.
Jing Mei's eyes followed the box, then looked up at him.
"I thought of it as something more, but if that's how you see it" he bent
down to pick up the box.
"One date?"
Carter stood back up and stuck his hands in his pockets."Yeah.It only
took one date"
"You know that..it's forever, right?"
Carter nodded.
*end of flashback*
*******************************************
Here with a offering of
My voice
My Eyes
My soul
My mind
*******************************************
"We were going to start World War three in Chicago" Jing Mei pulled
the washcloth over his chest,"My mother and the Carters" she sighed,
ringing out the water into the tub of now cold water the nurse had
helped her get."I was waiting for you to correct me.It was just your
mother and grandmother, right?"
"My family wanted the tradional Chinese wedding,to make up for who
I was marrying, I guess" Jing Mei laughed, tucking pieces of hair behind
her ears,"You..well, that was the most easygoing I had ever seen you."
"The best idea you ever had was us running away to get married.It made
everyone angry, but I'm glad we did it" she bent down and kissed his
neck,"It was funny, because it looked like the two rich brats were
trying to act rebellious"
"No more water" Jing Mei watched the washcloth sink to the bottom of
the tub,"You look clean enough"
She put the tub of water beside her as she sunk back into the chair.
*flashback*
He gave her a squeeze."Only you would bring me here"
"Motel 6?"
Carter nodded,pulling the blanket back up that threatened to
expose him.
"It couldn't be my honeymoon without staying at a cheap motel"
Jing Mei raised an eyebrow,looking up at him from his chest.
"Your turn"
She wrinkled her nose."Oh yay"
"We can call the hospital later" Carter smiled,reaching over for
the phone.
"You can at least be naked when I do this!" she giggled, rolling over
to the opposite side of the bed.
"What good will that do?" Carter smirked.
"So I can remeber why I did all this" Jing Mei laughed
*end of flashback*
She looked at the new nurse that came in."Where's..?"
"Shift change" the woman turned around,"Oh wow.."
Jing Mei wrinkled her brow,"Is everything alright?"
The nurse nodded,"I came into the ER awhile back.Suicide attempt",
the woman dabbed at his arm carefully,"He was the only one who
took the time to talk to me"
Jing Mei smiled.
"I'm sorry" the nurse said over her shoulder as she walked out of
the room.
****************************
Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love
I am ready…
*****************************
Jing Mei squinted at the neon light coming from the bathroom.
"I was up all last night" she took a deep breath,"In the bathroom
of your hospital room" she wrapped his arm around her as Jing
Mei tried to go back to sleep.
"I wanted this to happen with you. You were supposed to be excited
and funny and silly and everything you are when you're overly happy."
she snuggled into his limp arm, clutching his hand with hers.
"John" a giant lump collected in her throat,"I'm pregnant".
She turned away, to wrap her arms around herself and try to sleep.
Jing Mei went to pull her hand away, when she felt resistance."John?"
She turned to her other side,facing him.
In the dark, he winked at her.
"John!"
"Sshhh" he said hoarsely,"I love you"
