"Who's in the Box?"

I invested a lot of hours into this show and have yet to see a payoff. Is Ezra really –A? Is Maya really dead? We want answers not more questions. So, I decided to give the writers a taste of what they are putting us all through. You might not agree with any of it but it will prove that the writers need to do better!

I'm just pointing out the obvious…

I've commented or written thought bubbles for the characters in the order they appeared in the episode along with my thoughts…

Have fun!

Rated T for Teen.

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Chapter 1: Who's in the Box?

Last Season…

CeCe killed Wilden…I so missed that.

Emily, Spencer, Hanna and Aria are such the detectives yet they never thought…we saw the bodies of Ian, Garrett and Wilden when they were killed, their bodies were discovered but why have we never seen the bodies of the two girls who were presumed dead? If they saw a body bag that was supposed to be Alison but never saw her body and she's alive then can the same be true for Maya? They never saw their bodies and neither did we. Alison is alive so who's to say Maya isn't? The same people who covered up Alison's death could have covered up Maya's…

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DeLaurentis'

Mrs. Delaurentis is a creeper but the actress who plays her, Andrea Parker, is so so good in this role!

I know where Jason is! I'll tell you at the end ;)

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Courtyard at Rosewood High

Paige is blah blah blahing about swimming making Emily really annoyed. When she finally notices that she's talking only about herself she asks Emily what's wrong.

"My head's just been somewhere else."

Maya…

"I noticed.What are you thinking about?"

Emily looks at Paige,

Shoving your head under water and then NOT dating you.

"Nothing you need to worry about."

"I like worrying. I'm very good at it."

You also like being annoying. And you're very good at that too.

"It's okay you don't have to try and fix me."

"I'm not trying to fix you. I'm just trying to make you feel better."

The only thing that could make me feel better is if you were Maya.

"Just let me feel what I'm feeling right now, okay."

Maya would. I need you Maya. I love you Maya…

"Ah right."

Emily looks at Paige and starts to realize something that is unnerving her…

I'm on the swim team. Paige joins the swim team.

I lose weight. Paige loses weight.

I have long hair. Paige grows her hair long.

I have light brown highlights. Paige gets light brown highlights.

I date a black girl. Paige dates a black girl.

What are the odds that Paige and I would date different gay black girls in Rosewood?

Was it me that Paige wanted or was it Maya?

Did Paige pose as me asking Maya to meet me in my backyard? Did she then tell Maya how she feels about her but Maya rejected her so the psycho in Paige came out and killed her? Hmm…I've witnessed Paige's extreme personalities just like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Is she responsible for Maya's death?

Is she so obsessed that she pretended to be me and single white femaled Maya cuz she couldn't have her?

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The Hallway at Rosewood High

Mona says, "Creepy is as creepy does."

At least they got that right!

And btw, I don't know anyone who dresses like that in high school. Mona and Hanna, the future called, it wants its wardrobe back!

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Fitz' classroom…

Fitz says, "The writing turns into a cliché."

Has anyone told the PLL writers this, cuz I think Ezra is onto something!

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde…is this where the writers try to convince us that Ezra really is good but sometimes he's bad like when he doesn't take his meds. So, then we find out that Ezra was in a sanitarium, not necessarily Radley, but one funded by that Health Company whose facilities are all over the United States? Am I close?

Hmm…Stevenson wrote the draft in three days…so how come after three seasons we still have no clue who is good and who is evil?

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The Hastings'…

Spencer is talking to her dad who has been out of the picture for a while. She wonders where he could've gone.

I know! I'll tell you at the end.

Toby is blah blahing about his mom again. How she didn't commit suicide. The only useful information we got was that Radley is owned by a big Health Care Company called Declodyne.

Spencer wants to find out more about this company and wonders, "Why does everything lead back to Radley?"

"Because that's where everyone goes to leave their secrets. Wilden, Mona, CeCe."

"Me."

Toby just wants someone to say that his mom's death was an accident.

Then Spencer says, "Did you ever see that Myth Busters where they prove that a mouse can scare an elephant?"

Spencer is distracted,

Your hair could scare an elephant! Geez, Toby, I told you to stop getting your hair done at Mona's Glamping Salon! The eighties called, they want their hair back!

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The Coffee Place

How come Emily is the only one who has a job? Only lesbians need to work?

Emily is pissed that Alison is alive and didn't tell anyone.

Wait til she finds out Maya is alive too! And that Alison was the one who saved her and now they're besties! Ha ha!

Wait, this show has only been about their Junior and Senior years in high school? Then how the hell were Emily and Paige dating on and off for almost a year? Cuz Emily dated Maya during junior year and she didn't start dating Paige regularly until their senior year and that comment was made before senior year even started. Oh wait, I get it, Marlene King thinks that dating on and off for six weeks or less is close enough to almost a year! They only dated while Maya was at boot camp and she also dated Samara and no one during that time. I guess they had to fabricate the Paily relationship timeline so the audience could be swayed into shipping them.

Hanna tells Emily that they don't know which Ali this is, the bitch or the true friend so they have to bring her back.

Caleb's back but not for long, too bad cuz Ravenswood is a bore fest! But at least we know where all the black people from Rosewood went…to the coffee shop in Ravenswood! I wonder if Maya is there with Shana! I guess ABC Family had a quota to fill so they filled it all at once…so, so sad and so, so obvious. By the way, so many black people and only one of them is a lead in the show? Don't worry, you'll be gay soon and end up in a body bag too!

Caleb tells Hanna that he's not staying and that he misses so many things about her.

I love them!

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Rosewood High Courtyard…

Emily and Hanna meet the other missing girl's friends.

Did anyone else notice how old Emily and Hanna look compared to those two girls? Crow's feet anyone? And why does Emily look like such an Amazon in every shot? Weird.

Hmmm, a white friend and a tan friend…carbon copies of Hanna and Emily!

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In Town

Mona talks with Mr. Fitz. Mona talks in code about needing a mentor.

Is she asking Mr. Fitz to be her –A mentor because she's lost sight of the big picture?

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Declodyne

So, if you rearrange the letters in Declodyne, is that who –A is?

Spencer and Toby's hair ask the woman in charge a few questions. She's not frightened of Spencer but Toby's hair, maybe…

Spencer threatens to go on the internet and say that Toby's mom's death was an accident but covered up to look like a suicide.

Blah blah blah.

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The Marin's

Mrs. Delaurentis says, "Hello Hanna."

Was that not the creepiest "Hello Hanna" you've ever heard!

Mrs. Marin is going to work for Mrs. Delaurentis.

Yeah because every banker I know has their real estate license!

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In Town

Mona and Ezra are being creepy and cryptic.

Mona comments on Mr. Fitz reading list being full of masks and secret identities. She suggests that it's really revealing if you know what to look for.

Mr. Fitz asks, "And what are you looking for, Mona?"

"What did the Count of Monte Cristo want?"

Do we care?

"Do you think you're entitled to that much revenge?"

Oh my god! I love Revenge! A show's season premiere and finale and every episode in between that's full of suspense! A thrill ride! Take a lesson PLL, a finale doesn't have to be a bore fest up until the last five minutes. Please stop doing that. Please give us a premiere and finale and in between episodes like Revenge…

"He who is without sin Mr. Fitz."

"Let me tell you what I've learned about Rosewood High."

It's easy to sleep with your underage students?

Was I close?

"It's that fear is the number one motivator and I wish it was love of knowledge but it's not."

Love of anything under the age of 18 is more like it.

"Fear of failure, fear of being discovered."

Mona smiles devilishly.

"Fear of liking the wrong person. You figured that out and somewhere along the way you dumped all that fear and that's what makes you special."

"Special? Moi?"

"But it also makes you vulnerable. Fear can be a very good thing Mona. It can keep you from underestimating people and keep you from making mistakes about how far you can push someone before they push back."

Mona looks scared but then she gets crazy smile.

Radley alum!

"Well, I knew I could count on you for good advice."

"Well, feel free to talk to me anytime."

Mona leaves and Mr. Fitz watches her leave…

So beyond creepy…

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In Town

Hanna and Caleb sit on a bench and he talks about things being complicated.

"Ravenswood turned out to be more than I thought it would be."

Yeah, slow and boring.

"I have to go back."

"No you don't"

"I do. I told you I made some promises."

To a ghost girl! Creepy! Do I sense a running theme?

"What kind of promises? And don't say that it's complicated."

"There's just some stuff that I have to take care of."

Yeah, boring ghost stuff.

"That's all."

Don't worry Hanna, he'll be back. Ravenswood is sure to be canceled.

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The Hastings'

Spencer is mesmerized by Toby's hair.

"Hey dad."

"Hey."

"Toby."

"Mr. Hastings," Toby says looking away but letting his hair stare him down.

Spencer pretends to be listening to her father but really she's thinking, "Spoby, Spoby. It sounds like something you need a cure for. How did I end up with the crappy ship name? I so could've been Spalex. Yeah, Spalex. He had some nice hair and his voice was deeper than mine! Who cares about six pack abs when your boyfriend's voice is higher than yours! And Alex could dance. I ship Spalex!"

Diego, please stop doing movies and save Spencer from being a Spoby!

Toby won't shut up about how genius Spencer is and Spencer looks embarrassed.

Embarrassed about what he's saying or embarrassed by her boyfriend's hair or both?

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In Town

Ezra pulls his car up to the sidewalk and asks Aria to get in. He's going to take her somewhere not too far away, but isolated.

Cuz that's not creepy.

"Can we go someplace?" Aria asks.

"I know somewhere if you don't mind a drive."

Classic pedophile move and Aria falls for it.

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Coffee Shop Where Emily Works

How come I'm the only one who needs to work? Oh yeah, I lost my swim scholarship that Paige keeps reminding me she got so I have to pay my own way to college where hopefully I will reunite with my Soul Mate, Maya!

One of Sara's friends, Clare, goes to talk to Emily.

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The Cabin

Ezra checks on this cabin for his friend when he's out of the country.

Not creepy at all.

He writes there when he can. No cell service. No internet.

Warning! Warning!

"It's close to town but it's not too close so it's kind of perfect."

To bring your underage girlfriends to!

"It's kinda like the place we used to talk about once," Aria says.

You know, the one in a secluded area with bars in the windows and soap on a rope!

Mr….who did Aria say watches her like a prison guard? She mumbled and I have no idea what she said.

Aria is struggling to remember what's real.

You're fucking your teacher! Your teacher is –A! One of his personalities doesn't love you and is using you to find Alison! The other personality does love you or does it? I have no idea! I'm so confused!

Ezra gives her a key.

"You can have this place. This is real."

Yeah real creepy!

"It could be our secret."

Isn't that what pedophiles say? I watch Dateline.

They kiss and it's not like the first season when it was hot. It's gross. It's so gross. Am I the only one who thinks so? I don't know how Ezria can be shipped anymore. They made their relationship ugly and need I say it again, creepy…

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The Coffee Place

Emily talks with Clare about Sara and how she lied about their friendship.

Clare tells Emily that Avery wasn't there because she's busy sleeping a lot.

Why? Has she been watching PLL?

Adjusting her meds…meds supplied by Declodyne?

Clare says to Emily, "Everything she gave you, she took two things away."

She chooses to tell only Emily this because she is jealous. Jealous that Alison is dead.

Emily is lucky she is done.

"You've got your life back. Not us. And she's gone but she's not gone. And we can't get away from her. And I'm so tired of being Sara's best friend. It sucks the life out of you."

Yeah I have a girlfriend like that.

"I understand how you feel."

"No you don't. I wished Sarah was dead before she disappeared. I'm a terrible person."

No you're not. I wished someone else ended up in a body bag. But now I'm dating her and I have no idea why.

She walks away crying leaving Emily.

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The Marin's

Caleb tries to convince Hanna that his leaving is not what she thinks it is. He tells her that Miranda needs him. Hanna doesn't know what to think. He's leaving her for another girl. He tells her he has to go and she has to stay. It's best for both of them.

Caleb walks out on Hanna. Her mom comforts her.

That's too bad they're the only couple I ship on this show! Now I have no one to ship!

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The Hastings'

Mr. Hastings tells Spencer they can have Radley taken down brick by brick. Then he says,

"I always do what's best for my family."

But what does that mean now that Alison is alive?

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The Cabin

Aria looks out the window. Ezra sits up on the bed. He looks down at the floor; there is a latch that pulls up part of the floor.

Why is this important?

I know! I know! I'll tell you at the end.

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The Fields

I guess their house is no longer a drive thru!

Emily tells Paige that Ali let her kiss her.

And it's not one of those selfie kisses that Paige and Emily give each other. Ewwww!

"I'm not so sure I want to hear this."

Yes tell her! Tell her!

"I'm not sure I want to tell you but…I have to say it out loud. She let me kiss her and I thought it was this incredible gift. Now I know it wasn't."

I now know Maya was the incredible gift.

"What changed your mind?"

Maya.

"I realized it didn't mean anything to her. I don't think she ever loved anybody. I don't think she knew how. She just collected love from other people."

"She's been gone so long and you're still thinking about her."

"Because she broke my heart."

And then I broke Maya's.

"I mean, really, like I could hear it crack inside."

"I hate her for being so mean to you, so cruel."

Look who's talking! Who tried to drown me?

"Cruel would mean she cared what she was doing. I don't think she did."

And you showed you cared about me by trying to drown me.

So first Emily had to get drunk to realize she likes Paige and now the reason Paige tried to drown Emily is because she wanted to show her how much she cared about her. Is this really how PLL justifies why Emily is with Paige?

Maya was never cruel. She was amazing. She cared about me so she waited for me. That's love.

"Is this how you finally decided to say goodbye to her?"

Actually I'm trying to figure out how to say good bye to you!

"I guess it is."

Paige puts her hand on the top of Emily's leg.

If you saw the episode, both girls' hands look particularly large. I'm guessing it was a bad camera angle.

They don't kiss. Thank god! I can't take another selfie kiss! If you think about it, the only person Emily kissed who could get her to open her mouth and insert her tongue is Maya! No selfie there!

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In Town

Hanna is leaning against Caleb's jeep waiting for him.

She's dressed like MC Hammer. Caleb is like, hey the nineties called they want their wardrobe back.

They say goodbye. He drives away without a kiss.

Come on. Poor Hanna.

Caleb cries.

Awww…

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Alison's Crypt

Hanna tells the girls she has Ali's diary.

Oopsie, looks like she forgot to mention it!

She took it from the lawyer at Ravenswood.

She kept it a secret because of what she said in it about each one of them.

Spencer takes it and begins to read…

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The Cabin

Someone dressed in a black hoodie with black gloves enters the cabin. This person lifts up the rug then lifts the latch in the floor to reveal…

All the people who have ever been to Rosewood who were written into the show for no apparent reason other than to annoy the audience or favorite characters who were written out of the show for no apparent reason or favorite characters who have left Rosewood for no apparent reason…

Oh my god, it's Lucas and Holden and the guy who flew Aria in the plane and Aria's whole family, Mike, Ella, Byron and the girl he had an affair with and Hanna's step sister Kate and Hanna's dad and his new wife and Ben and Shana and the pastor who dated Mrs. Marin and Mr. and Mrs. Fields and Mr. Hastings (well until recently) and Caleb's dad and Noel and Dr. Sullivan and Sean and the lady from the doll store and the boy from the doll store and Maggie and Malcolm and Ezra's brother and Ezra's mother and Alex and Melissa and Wren and Jenna and Maya and Maya's parents who we never even saw and Jason!

I knew it!

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Someone had to say it! And don't even try to say you weren't thinking it too!

Look, I fell in love with the show in the first season. I kept watching to see who –A is and to see the Emaya ship grow. I continued watching even when I didn't get what I was hoping for, why? Because I hoped against hope that the talented Bianca Lawson would be asked back. I hope Marlene King realizes just how much better Shay is as an actress when she is on screen with Bianca. And I really wanna know who the real –A is. I liked Ezria but now it's just wrong. I don't know how they can make it feel right again. I liked Toby when Spencer saw him crying in the alleyway and then they spent the night in that hotel room. But ever since Toby started taking off his shirt for no apparent reason, he bothers me. I liked Alex and it looked like Troian was crushing on him too. Who wouldn't? And I've always liked Hanna and Caleb. But now they're history.

It is my hope that the writers will make PLL good again. It is my hope that there will be no more new characters taking away airtime from the semi regulars. It is my hope that Bianca Lawson will return to PLL and prove to all of you that Emily and Maya truly are soul mates.

I want my show back!

Don't you?