Chapter One

A Conversation of Great Importance

"You can tell me now," said the hulking figure seated upon the rocks. He placed his massive hands upon his knees and leaned forward. "I'm waiting," he said after a few minutes of pure silence from his visitor.

"Oh, where to even start?" said the girl seated opposite him. She chewed nervously upon one of the strings of her turquoise hoodie.

"Vanellope, spit that out right now," said Ralph. "I can barely understand you."

"I'm sorry," she replied, the string still between her teeth, "but the licorice tastes good."

Ralph reached one of his fingers under his friend's chin and gingerly raised her head until her eyes were staring into his. With the thumb and index finger of his other hand, he plucked the string from her mouth.

"Say again?" said Ralph.

"About licorice tasting good?" said Vanellope.

"I hate licorice," said Ralph. He drew back and raised a hand to silence her forthcoming protest.

"We're not here to talk about candy, we're here to-"

"Get a load off my chest I know, I know," said Vanellope. "You don't have to sound all therapeutic about it. Say, have I told you about-"

"Sounds like I'll have to be a little more persuasive here," said Ralph. He raised a massive fist.

"Ralph, you wouldn't," Vanellope said, giggling.

The giant sighed in frustration. "That's the one trouble with being liked, you can't be fearsome even when you want to be," he muttered.

"But anyway," he continued in a clearer voice, "you were here to tell me about the…presidency, was it?"

"Democracy," said Vanellope. "Duh. Did somebody replace that brain of yours with asphalt?"

"The presidency is merely a part of the executive branch, which is one of three branches of government in the American governmental system, which is called a Constitutional Democracy, albeit perhaps better defined as a Constitutional Republic," Ralph corrected. "Nice try on the insult, though."

Vanellope looked like she was trying to stretch her mental faculties to the breaking point to comprehend what Ralph had just said. "The presidency is one part of…something in three parts," she said. She leaped from her perch on the rocks, glitching in excitement. "I got it, I got it!" she cried, before noticing Ralph's stare. She stopped jumping and sat down again. In a sheepish tone, she asked: "I did get it right, didn't I?"

"Errr…sort of," Ralph replied. "But anyway, you had something to tell me?" He gave her a look as if to suggest she had better just get it over with. Vanellope took the hint.

"It's the other racers," she announced. "They have some problem with my being president, as though I didn't have the right to choose to be one."

"Technically, there ought to be an election," said Ralph. "You might or might not get enough votes to be elected president."

"Free elections," said Vanellope. "That's all I get out of them- calls for free elections. And then we have all the fans, which don't seem to realize that we're a monarchy while the arcade's open. Many of them try to vote for which racer should win a match, and it's all any of us can do to keep them from messing up the program." She stopped and began furiously chewing on her hoodie string once more.

"Sounds like a confusing mess," said Ralph. "Can't Wynchel and Duncan keep the fans in order?"

"They do most of the time," said Vanellope, spitting out the string as Ralph reached towards it, "but it's hard. I'd send the Oreo Guards at them, but that'd just be cruel."

"I'm still not sure why you can't hold free elections."

"Look, I'm the princess, so I get to decide if I'm president, okay?"

"You still have a lot to learn about democracy, don't you?"

Vanellope stood up and began stalking away.

"Where you headed?" Ralph called after her.

"Back to my own game, where else?" she replied. "I've a…a…governmental Chrysler to fix."

"You mean crisis?" said Ralph. But Vanellope was already out of earshot.

"Cars on the brain, rather than facts about democracy," Ralph mused aloud. "I'll need to check in on Sugar Rush pretty soon, from the sound of it."

He looked up at the glass through which he could see the arcade. The lights were still dimmed, and would be for a long while yet.

"I guess a root beer couldn't hurt while I think this over."

He got up from the boulder on which he was sitting, dusted the last bits of mud off from his clothes, and headed for the wire that would take him to Game Central Station. On the way, he met Felix, who was heading in the same direction.

"Off to see the missis?" he inquired. Felix nodded, a bashful smile on his features.

"Well, send my regards," said Ralph. "I'll be at Tapper's if you want me."

Both of them entered the carts and set off through the wire at a steady speed.