Rae was busying herself with her usual routine; what she did every week day since the start of university four months ago. She attended her classes then proceeded directly to the library to bury her head in books and homework.

This was the tactic she chose to ignore the ache in her heart and the nagging voice in her head. But she had to blot out these feelings. She couldn't think about Finn; he's a cheater. Maybe not cheater (they were on a break). But he was weak; he didn't consider long distance; he didn't consider coming with her; he chose to find consolation in the lips of fucking Katie Fucking Springer instead. He obviously never loved her.

She has a new life now; she has to chase her dreams and get a degree; she wants her mum to be proud of her. She needs to stop being a burden to her family and friends and show she can achieve something without relying on them.

The main problem with her chosen solution to block out her thoughts is that it didn't work - the more she tried to neglect her feelings the more painful the ache and the louder the nagging became. It didn't help that everywhere she went on campus Miss bloody Springer would be there. Springer would call after her, perhaps in the hope of friendship, but Rae wasn't interested. She would just turn her back and walk the opposite way feeling even more determined to prove herself.

Uni was supposed to be fun, and to a certain extent it had been. Her weekend job at Pendulum records was awesome; her room mates were all good people and quite fun on a night out boozing. But an enjoyable job and funny friends simply cannot replace the happiness that could be found in the arms of an Adonis with chocolate brown eyes and a warm smile.

Rae realised her mind was drifting back to 'him' again and snapped out of it to finish up her final essay before the Christmas break. The paper wasn't due until the start of the next term, but she had immersed herself in her studies and finished up early.

Now all her work was complete she had to face what she had truly been avoiding. She had to return to her room and pack her stuff ready for spending Christmas at Chez Bouchtat. Karim's temporary contract was up and Rae's family were all very excited for her return to Stamford for the holiday.

Rae found it exceedingly inconvenient that students were contractually obliged to vacate Halls of Residence during the holidays - this prevented her from feigning a reason not to go home. She'd have to face all the questions about uni from her mum and the gang, which would mean pretending that she's not grievously lonely. Still those were the rules and she had to comply. And of course she really longed to see her mum, Karim and her baby sister.

With a weary heart she set about packing up the belongings she would need for the Christmas break.

The next day Rae let her favourite roomie give her a lift to the station. She met Charlie standing in the queue to collect keys at the Halls office on the very first day of uni and had been friends ever since. He played in a band with his girlfriend who was also called Rachel. This coincidence had been quite confusing for Charlie and had resulted in a couple of awkward late night calls that Rae would prefer to forget.

Apart from those tricky mishaps Rae enjoyed hanging out with the couple and they never made her feel like a gooseberry. The other house mates all seemed to pair up at the start of term. They were very hospitable but spent their whole time snogging – which isn't really a spectator event. Unlike Charlie and Rach they didn't really like discussing music. She particularly liked that the couple asked her for advice on their set lists and she had occasionally helped them out with some witty song lyrics. They even offered her a role in the band singing, but she was still mulling over whether she had the confidence for it.

Charlie helped Rae onto the train with her luggage, squeezed her tightly and wished her a merry Christmas. She plonked herself down on a double seat with her bags piled up next to her like a barricade. She hoped that the train wouldn't become overcrowded as she wasn't in the mood for any company on this journey.

She delved into her back pack to retrieve something that had been on her mind since she woke up. She pulled out a stack of letters from Finn and decided to read them properly before she arrived home. She needed to know what they said in case anybody (Chloe) quizzed her. Most of the letters were the same really. Every letter expressed how sorry he was for the whole Katie effing Springer debacle, how he missed her and still loved her. She continued onto the very last letter; he explained that he understood why she wasn't replying. He never deserved her, he was too stupid, too unadventurous, too much of a burden to her. She dropped the letter when she read that line. Was he kidding? How could he ever be a burden? She was shocked and saddened by this and then something clicked in Rae's head; all this time she was trying not to be a burden, but perhaps that's how everybody feels to a certain extent.

Rae immersed herself in memories of their break up for the rest of train ride. Hours had passed and she now realised that she had been pushing away the people that matter for no reason. Her family were probably so keen for her to attend college because they didn't want to hold her back. Finn had acted out because he didn't want to hold her back. They felt unworthy of her.

She really wished that she had kept them included the last few months and let them know how much she missed them. This facade that she could cope alone was exhausting and lonesome. She felt so stupid for letting Katie Fucking Springer's words get to her.

Rae could see that the train was nearing Peterborough station and she would need to transfer to another train to get to Stamford. She wiped the tears she hadn't realised she'd shed from her eyes, packed the letters neatly into her bag and stood at the doors waiting to exit.

As the train slowly pulled into the station Rae was shocked to see Finn stood on the platform. She felt a strange familiar pull inside her. He was stood there looking like porn; was he waiting for? Or could he waiting for The Fucking Springer? She calmed herself remembering what was contained in those letters and confidently reassured herself that he was waiting there for her. As the doors opened she looked into his eyes to see the warmth that had been missing from her life for the last few months. He tentatively approached her, but flung his arms around her with relief when he noticed she was happy to see him.

The clinch lasted for much longer than it should have. But neither of them seemed to want to let go. It felt like home in his arms and he smelt delicious – spicy and sweet and familiar. Rae observed tears in Finn's eyes which he quickly blinked away when he announced that he had come to take her the rest of the way.

The drive back to Stamford was surprisingly quiet considering their emotional embrace. They made idle chit chat about the weather and any new bands they were into. Finn dropped Rae at her family home and made her promise to meet the gang at the Swan later that evening.

After a lovely Hotpot with her family and lots of cuddles with baby Jasmine Rae was ready for a night out with her dearest friends. Rae donned her burgundy skater dress and black leggings before applying a dusting of makeup and slipping on her leather jacket and Converse. She was jittery with excitement as she hadn't felt this happy in months. She marched to the pub at top speed and was elated to be met with a cheer from her friends as she entered the pub.

The evening passed so quickly that she barely had a chance to speak to Finn. The rest of the gang were so happy to see her and catch up they monopolised all of her time. Archie was recounting a particularly boring story about the Great War when Rae caught Finn's eye. He was staring directly at her and she couldn't take her eyes off him. She felt like that teenage girl reliving her Roman Centurion dream all over again. Rae needed to speak to him, or at least run her hands over the firm muscles that his white tee were displaying so perfectly. Archie suggested that he was going to be set on fire by the electricity between Rae and Finn and called Finn over to join her.

"So, how have you been Finlay?" Rae questioned feeling a bit embarrassed about her previous vision.

"I've been missing you." He stated very clearly. He looked very sombre and very serious. "Really, Rae, I've missed you, I really think we should talk about everythin'."

Rae agreed that talking needed to occur for a change. They should have spoken months ago, "do yer wanna head back to yours to chat?" She suggested.

"I'm staying at me da's at the moment, but we can sneak in and talk there if yer want? Finn smiled and held his hand out to her.

Rae had never seen him so serious, he was shaking slightly and he looked as though nothing was going to deter him from what he had planned to say. He didn't know that she had already had her revelation. She knew she was going to pretty much agree with whatever he said. She was happy he wanted to talk and she was definitely going to listen.

They said their goodbyes to the rest of the gang and set off for the Nelson household. They were both a bit tipsy and held hands giggling for almost the whole walk home. When they arrived at Finn's house it was in darkness so he shushed them explaining that his dad would be in bed. They crept into the kitchen where Finn made them both a strong brew.

"How comes your living with yer da again?" The words just fell out of Rae's mouth before she realised how insensitive the question might be.

"I got a new gaff, but it's not ready 'til the January when I start me new job." Finn replied with a very cheeky grin.

Rae was enthralled with his change in demeanor, "what job? She was really happy for him as his apparent excitement was contagious.

"I got a junior role at a Radio Station... Heart fm!" He was trying to draw the news out, but he was desperate to share the news with her. "It's at Heart fm, Bristol!"

Rae mouth dropped open in shock, surprise and excitement, she was not only happy that his dreams were coming true. But it also meant that he had decided that he wanted to be where she is. She launched herself at him and found a pair of accepting arms incase her into a bone crushing hug.

"I really do love you Rae, I miss you so much. I want yer be me girl again?" he croaked out, clearly overcome with emotion.

"I want that too", she squeaked.

He lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes, but she had to feel his lips on hers again. She initiated a long delicious kiss that lasted for what seemed like an hour. Their hands where everywhere; in each other's hair, roaming each other's bodies. Clothes were being discarded onto the living room floor, they both gasped in pleasure when Rae caressed her erect nipple against his naked chest. The loud groans they were making must have disturbed Mr Nelson, as they heard movement above them. They had forgotten he was up there and scrabbled about to gather their clothes.

They decided to spend the rest of the night canoodling and properly talking about everything they neglected to discuss in the past. In the morning they were both convinced that they were always meant to be together but also the break up was always meant to be; so they could really know what they wanted. It was kismet.

The end