His mom leaves the day after his fourth birthday.
No note, no goodbyes, no nothing. Miles is sitting in his room playing with his action figures when his older brother, Marcus comes in and tells him. He doesn't remember much about what his brother says, just that he keeps repeating "Mommy isn't coming back." And Miles couldn't understand because he was only a little kid and every time he called for her and she didn't come he was confused. He'd search the house high and low and ended up asking his father where she was. This of course earned him a smack in the face and a kick to the stomach and he learned then never to talk to him about his mother again. Instead he'd bug Marcus and his older sister, Marissa to no end and each time they gave him the same answer: "I don't know when she's coming back, bud. And no, I don't know where she is."
So eventually, he just stopped wondering what had happened to his mom all together.
Marcus and Miles are pretty much raised by Marissa. She was fifteen and in high school and always had very important things to do. But since Miles had scared all of the nannies off, their father had put her in charge of watching the two of them while he worked. He had even taken her out of boarding school and transferred her to a private school near by to do so. While Marissa wasn't the happiest about it, she did what she was told. She was always dragging the boys to soccer games and to cheerleading tournaments and to science decathalons. Marcus, who had only been in elementary school at the time, would sit in the bleachers and color or play with his Game Boy. Miles, on the other hand, hated that his sister wasn't paying attention to him and taken to finding ways to cause trouble anywhere he went. Whether it be knocking down a flag poll or picking a fight with some kid on the sidelines, it was a sure fire wire to get Marissa to have to come over and handle it.
Marissa was arguably the only girl in Miles' life that he'd ever loved and cared about. He hated making her upset, but the only time he ever felt special was when she gave him attention – even when she was yelling at him for getting her in trouble with her coach. But one thing that Miles did notice was no matter how many times he did something wrong, she'd never tell their dad about it. Miles had always been his least favorite and he hit him for no reason usually. No need to actually give him one.
Miles meets Winston when he's five years old and Marissa takes him and Marcus to the park to interact with other kids. The boys thought it was a stupid idea, not wanting to socialize with children from a lower class, but they reluctantly agreed.
Winston is smaller than most kids their age and is wearing glasses that are way too big for his face. Miles is taller than almost everyone and is wearing clothes that look like they've been picked out by a designer or something. Miles spots Winston first in line for the monkey bars and he has this look on his face like he's scared to go. The other kids keep whining and yelling "Come on, you baby!" "What are you scared? Oooooo, the baby's scared!" and Winston keeps telling them to cut it out but they won't. One boy pushes him forward a little and Winston grabs hold to the bars, trying to catch himself. He hangs there for about ten seconds before the kids start complaining again and he does his best to move forward.
He fails and slips and lands on his butt.
The other children are laughing hysterically. Winston is crying and has a scraped knee.
Miles actually feels bad and goes over to the tiny boy with the bleeding knee. He bends down next to him, "Are you okay?" he asks.
Winston tries to wipe his tears away, but just ends up fogging up his glasses. "Y-yeah, I'm fine . . ."
"It's alright. I'm sorry that you fell. I think my sister has a bandaid. Wanna come with me?" Miles smiles at the boy to let him know that he isn't making fun of him. He stands and holds out his hand to help him up.
Winston nods and giggles, "Yeah, sure." And he takes Miles' hand.
They walk over to Marissa together and Miles asks her for a bandaid and she puts it on Winston (who's parents dropped him off with his cousin for the day. His cousin was one of the laughing kids) after adding some anti bacterial cream.
"Thanks," says Winston.
"Hey, you wanna go on the swings with me?" asks Miles.
Winston nods. "Yeah, sure. Sounds fun."
The boys run off together towards the swingsets, where they chase two girls off. They fall into a fit of laughter and high five. "I'm Miles, by the way. Miles Hollingsworth the third." he says, sounding too mature for his age.
"I'm Winston. Oh, um, Winston Chu. The first."
Miles giggles. "Chu, haha. Chewy, get it?"
Winston rolls his eyes, "Yeah, I get it."
Miles and Winston are totally inseperable. They do absolutely everything together. Winston learns to swim in Miles' pool, Miles learns to ride a bike in Winston's back yard, Winston's mother teaches the boys how to read and takes them to the zoo on Saturdays.
They both hate school because it's the only time that they can't be together. Miles makes friends easily though, especially with the female classmates. Winston slips into the background and is easily forgotten. But he has Miles, so he doesn't let it bother him much for the time being.
They know everything about each other. Favorite color, favorite food, favorite ice cream, favorite Spongebob episode, etc. But the one thing that Miles doesn't initially tell Winston is about his father's abuse. Not because he's ashamed of it because . . . yeah, well because he's ashamed of it. Not that he'd ever admit that or anything.
Winston finds out when they're eight years old and he's going with the Hollingsworth family to attend Marissa's graduation. Miles' grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles show up for the event and the family takes at least seven limosines to the school. In seven different colors. Winston knows that Miles is going to be sad because even though he won't admit it, he loves his sister and she takes care of him. On the ride there, Marissa ruffles Miles' hair while Marcus reads Moby Dick in the seat behind them. He sees Miles smile and makes a mental note not to make fun of him about it later.
Miles Hollingsworth the second is a scary man who is very tall and very important and has a very large ammount of money. He hardly ever talks to his children, and Winston has really only seen him a couple of times. And those couple of times he's seen him, he yells at Miles or tells Marissa and Marcus how wonderful their grades are and how proud he is of them. Winston once asked Miles why he never said anything nice about him and Miles had shrugged and said, "He doesn't like me very much."
But on this particular day, when they arrive at the school for the graduation and drop Marissa off at the front and the rest of the family takes their seats in the front row, Miles' dad pulls his son aside and Winston listens the best he can.
"Now, listen you little screw up, I don't want you pulling any of your shit today. Today is your sister's day and she's worked very hard to be where she is, all while taking care of your stupid ass. She deserves this and I don't want any trouble, you got it?"
Miles is silent. Winston sees his dad pull on his chin to force him to look at him. "Do you understand?"
"Yes, Dad. I understand."
"Good. Now go and take a seat,"
Mr. Hollingsworth doesn't even look at Winston as he passes by. Miles doesn't look sad or upset when he sees Winston either, he actually looks pretty happy. He runs a hand through his hair and nods at Winston, "Hey, man, come with me. I got an idea."
They're only eight but Winston knows even then that trouble follows Miles whereever he goes.
He follows after him, trying to plead with his friend not to do whatever he's got planned but Miles doesn't listen to him.
Winston can't remember everything that happens, but does remember that Miles forces him to hide in the janitor's closet with him for (what he found out later was) three hours. It's quiet and boring and Miles makes him be quiet for the entire time, and he can hear the graduation going on. "We're gonna miss your sister's speech," he says. Marissa is valedictorian, something that in Mr. Hollingsworth's eyes proved that 'he'd raised the perfect daughter.'
"It's okay," said Miles. "I'll ask her to tell me about it later."
When the whole thing is over, the hallways get really loud and noisy and it's mostly just parents congradulating their sons and daughters. But some of it must have been the commotion of their being two missing eight year olds. Winston doesn't remember that part well. Much later though, the janitor's closet door is busted open by two cops who don't look very happy.
The Hollingsworth family had left without them, not wanting to spoil their own night and the police have to give them a ride back to Miles' house. They're in the middle of some fancy dinner in the backyard with all the other wealthy families in town and Marissa is the only person who shows any concern. She kisses Miles about a million times and apologizes for leaving without him and she ruffles Winston's hair before hugging the both of them. The only thing the rest of the partygoers care about is that there are actually cops there.
Mr. Hollingsworth pulls Miles out of the party after Marissa is done with them and all of the gossip quiets down. Winston worries about his friend and quietly follows behind the two of them, hoping Mr. Hollingsworth won't notice. He doesn't. He locks the door behind him and Miles and Winston hears screaming and yelling and then hitting and punching. He feels sick to his stomach and imagines pulling something Bruce Lee like on Mr. Hollingsworth. But he doesn't.
When Miles thirteen and enrolled into some boarding school, he gets his first taste of alcohol and loses his virginity in the same night. It's a Friday night and he's bored and feeling extra impulsive, so he steals some vodka from the principal's secret liquor cabinet. Thankfully, he doesn't get caught and runs back into his dorm room, showing it to the other boys. They're impressed, just as Miles knew they'd be.
Miles and his dormmates pass the bottle around as they walk down to the bandshell. The bandshell was known more for the drugs taken, sex had and boos drinken behind it then for the performances in front of it. He'd only been there a couple of times before and it was only to get a blow job from some girl who'd smoked a little too much weed. But tonight, he was ready to get wild and crazy and all of that overcliched teenage crap.
There were already a bunch of seniors there, who were unimpressed when one of his dormmates told the tale of the vodka stealing. They rolled their eyes at the then seventh graders, that is until Miles makes a joke about how he may be expelled if he gets caught again. That isn't totally true, but the seniors seem to think that explusion is kind of cool, so they invite him and his friends to stay.
Miles gets drunk off his ass and starts singing some pop song at the top of his lungs like an idiot. Someone lights a fire and everyone circles around it, laughing and throwing dirt at each other or whatever it is wasted teenagers do. Miles isn't really paying attention to be honest and he isn't sure if it's because it's hot as balls out and he's getting bitten to death by mosquitos, or because there's a really hot girl staring at him from the other side of the campfire. He knows he'll be able to remember when she looks like when he's eighty years old and on his death bed she's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. She must be older than him because he's the youngest person there, but she's absolutely gorgeous. With long auburn curls and huge brown eyes and come hither smile. Miles smiles back at her the best that he can without looking an absolute idiot.
She pulls him aside and tells him that her name is Isabel and Miles doesn't think that he's ever heard of a better name. They talk for a while and it turns out that they have a lot in common: they both have asshole fathers and both love video games and both hate how cliché life is in general. Isabel smells like vanilla and she's wearing a sundress that is almost too formal for getting wasted in the woods, but then again, they are all over privelaged rich kids.
So blah blah blah, long story short, Isabel takes Miles back to her room and they have sex. Miles thinks he must be absolutely horrible because he didn't know what he was doing and he made the weirdest noises. Isabel doesn't say how the sex was for her, but Miles asked her if it hurt and she responded with a simple, "No. I've done this before," He mentally hits himself for asking such a stupid question. Isabel puts her clothes on and she asks him to leave. He does so without argument.
He never forgets about Isabel, even though she didn't even look at him after that night. When he's banging another girl, he thinks of her and he thinks that it's stupid because they only one nigt together. But he can't help it. Isabel was the closest thing that he'd ever come close to loving. Besides Marissa and Winston. And there's no fucking way he's gonna think about those two during sex.
Maybe that's why he's such an asshole on the exterior. Because he's so goddamn bitter over what could've been with someone that he maybe had a connection with. And she's the only person that he's ever talked to about his father's abuse. Whatever. Fuck her. He was stupid to think that anyone would care about anyway.
Anyway, so Miles is backstage at some indie concert that Winston forced him to go to and he's bored out of his mind so he lights up a joint and starts smoking. Winston is kind of pissed off but Miles knows that he'll get over it later. They argue for a couple of minutes and Winston keeps repeating that he's "going to get in trouble" but whatever, Winston is such a partypooper sometimes. He never knows how to let loose and have fun.
Miles walks outside, figuring that it's probably better to smoke there and does so. He leans against the wall, taking long drags and trying to block out the noise of the annoyingly dramatic music. But then there's some kid who appeared basically out of nowhere and he's crying and pacing back and forth. Miles tells himself not to care but he can't help it and the kid looks really scared. He's so vulnerable to scared kids that he can't help it. He drops the joint and stomps on it, going over to the small boy and asking him if he's okay. The kid is only maybe ten years old and Miles wonders why he's even at this concert but the kid explains, obviously happy to see a comforting face. He tells Miles that his mother forced his big brother to babysit him for the night, but instead he dragged him to this concert and then ditched him. Miles takes his hand, imagining how scary the situation must be and takes him backstage with him.
Because of the whole "my father can fire you if you don't help this kid right now" thing, they find the boy's brother within a good half hour. The brother is older than Miles and he smells and he actually pretends that he gives a shit about this little kid. It pisses Miles off a lot to the point where he even pushes the asshole, but tries to restrain himself for the kid's sake. Winston comes over to make sure he doesn't do anything dumb, but Miles punches the guy without thinking.
He and Winston get kicked out and he has to call his limosine driver to come and pick him up.
"I'm sorry, Chewy," he whispers almost inaudibly.
"Why do you always do this stuff? Can't we just have one night – one night – where it's just you and me and no . . . drama?"
"It's not drama. It's just . . ."
"Drama?"
"No. Anger. That guy was an asshole, Chewy, and you know it. What was I supposed to do – just leave the kid there?"
Winston rolls his eyes, "No. But you didn't have to punch his brother."
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry,"
"Whatever, let's just go home."
Winston forgives him the next day.
Miles swears that the fire was an accident, really, he does. It's not like he'd done it on purpose or anything . . . yeah, okay, maybe he did it on purpose. But no one could prove it so it was bullshit that they'd expelled him.
He hadn't planned to do anything of course, but he just ended up doing it. The boarding school's principal had called Miles down to the office that day to scold him for getting caught getting hot and heavy with some girl in a classroom. The only thing that really pisses Miles off is when adults yell at him because of the silent fear that his father had implanted in him. He thinks he must've done it in relatation because the next thing he can remember he's holding a pack of matches and the old supply shed is on fire.
Everyone knows that it's him but nobody even asks him whether he did or not. The principal expels him the exact same night and he flies home alone on his father's private jet. It's the only time Miles has ever felt bad about doing something, but he doesn't feel bad enough to admit that he did it. All he does is rest his head on the window and just think for the first time in a while.
Why does he do all of this shit? Is there something wrong with him or something? Miles gives great thought to it. He didn't have a mother and the only people he cared about were Marissa and Chewy. And he never even really told them how much they meant to him. You're such a fucking douchebag, he tells himself. What else? His dad hated him, like legitamately hated him. He'd never told Miles this of course, but he made it obvious. How he only beat on him and not Marissa or Marcus and constantly told him how much better they were at everything and how positively useless he was. Shit. Maybe he does hate me. Well, not maybe – he does. He must really be a screw up if even his dad hates him.
Fifteen years of this, and it's the first time that Miles really considers it. His dad hates him. He thinks he's a useless piece of shit. And he's right . . . what has Miles ever done that's good? Just plain good that's not selfish or any sense? Jesus Christ, he's such a fucking piece of shit. Why is he only realizing this now? Everyone's basically been telling him this for years. "Miles, stop screwing up," "You almost got who pregnant?" "You know coke can kill you, right?" "Oh my god, what's your problem?" "You're such an idiot." "You're so stupid."
It actually takes setting a building on fire and getting expelled from boarding school for Miles to realize how much everybody despises him. He texts Chewy to meet him at the airport then, thinking about how badly he needs to see the smaller boy right then. And for the time being, he wraps a blanket around him, reclines his chair and puts a pillow underneath his head. Miles can't remember the last time he's slept. Freshmen year had been spent getting high and having sex and partying and being up all night long doing God know's what. He hadn't felt comfortable in a while, with the air conditioning blowing on him from the vent above, it was just peaceful. No matter how depressing and downgrading the thoughts going through his head were, he just wanted to sleep and stop the tears that he could already feel coming.
A flight attendant has to come and wake him up when he arrives back in Toronto. Miles can already feel his dad's fist hitting his cheek but knows that his harsh words are going to hurt more. But alas, upon exiting the plane, his father isn't even there. He's sent the family limo driver to come and escort home. Winston is there, and as soon as he sees him, a distressed Miles runs at him and throws his arms around him. They've never hugged for longer than a couple of seconds before, and Winston is taken aback, but Miles starts crying and he's holding onto the back of his shirt for dear life. He says nothing but he just keeps sobbing, Winston's never seen his friend so weak before. He doesn't say anything though, knowing that he needs him to be strong and just hold him for the time being. And Winston does. He wraps one arm around Miles' torso and holds the back of his friend's head.
There are tons of people around and they stay like that for a few minutes. Upon finally pulling apart, Miles' face is bright red and wet. He looks at Winston for a moment before pulling him back in again, "I don't know if I tell you this enough, but I love you, Chewy. Thanks for being my best friend."
"Um . . . you're welcome? I love you too . . . bro."
It's a sweet moment, and Miles is happy to be told that he is loved for once in his life. He thinks he'll call Marissa in the car and tell her what happened and that he loved her, and hopefully an 'I love you' in response. Because God knows he's not going to get it from his father when he returns to the mansion.
