Cullens At Walmart
10 years after breaking dawn; Renesmee is 10 years old but is
physically frozen at 17 and is dating Jacob.
I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.
Chapter 1 - Quality Family Time
EmmettPOV
"I won that fair and square!"
"Emmett, I think we all know that you've cheated" Damn Jasper, smart-
ass.
It was a typical saturday for the cullens: Rose, Alice, Bella, Esme,
and Carlisle were out shopping, well Carlisle was forced to go along
by his "oh-so-sweet-wife" Esme to carry the bags while the girls
shopped. And Jasper, Nessie, Edward and I were chilling at home.
"Uncle Emmett, Uncle Jasper, seriously, it's JUST A GAME!" Nessie shot
from upstairs.
"Well my dear niece, it's not JUST a game, it's fricken Call Of Duty!"
"sure, sure. Whatever" gosh, what is up with the female species these
days? Oh well, they just don't get it.
"Did I just hear someone say COD?" Jacob's head poked around the
corner, his eyes got as wide as Rosalie's boobs (Edward,"FOR GODS SAKE
EMMETT! GET YOU HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER!" I ignored him. Heeheehee)
when he spotted the case lying on the floor."Awesome duuude!" we
bumped fists. Nessie, who wasn't all that impressed that Jacob just
chose COD over spending time with her, shot a glare in our direction.
I smirked back at her, smug. Jacob, noticing our small exchange,
realized his mistake and quickly recovered.
"umm...but...err, I would much rather, uh, spend some quality time
with my beautiful, precious Nessie." He stuttered, and signed a sigh
of relief as a smile lit up Nessie's face. Traitor.
Ever since the volturi inccident 10 years ago, Jake had become part of
the family, even Rose warmed up to him a little, but the blond jokes
and comments about dog stink were still here and there once in a
while. But the dowside is that, sometimes the whole imprinting thing
is just going a bit overboard.
At that moment, the girls walked through the door looking hot while
Carlisle, or more like a mountain of shopping bags, stumbled in behind
them.
"Everyone in the kitchen in 5 minutes. Family meeting!" Alice called
out, grinning like crazy. "And Jake, you might want to call some of
you're friends over as well."
Huh, what's pixie up to now? I thought.
*5 minutes later*
everyone was gathered around the kitchen table, the cullens, Jacob,
embry, quil, Paul, seth, and Jared.
Alice looked excited; Edward looked slightly amused, Jasper looked
content, Bella somewhat scared and everyone else just looked confused.
"so, I was thinking, we rarely spend any quality family time anymore.
And, being the amazing me that I am, I've planned something fun that
we could do as a family!"
"Aww Alice I was just thinking the same thing." Esme said lovingly.
At that point, she was so excited that she started bouncing in her
chair, which caused Jasper to be just as excited and was projecting
the excitement to the people sitting closest to him, pretty soon, i
was jumping up and down and yelling "WEEEEEE!" and let me tell you, it
was FUN! But then I had to stop because Rose threatened no sex for 3
days if I didn't calm down soon and act my age. Then I tried
explaining that if I act my age, I'd be dead. AHAHA! I am so FUNNY!
she just ignored me and rolled her eyes. I pouted.
"So as I was saying," Alice continued after Jasper finally managed to
calm her down. "tomorrow, all 15 of us are going to go to walmart!"
"YAAYY! I love Walmart!" I squealed excitedly. I mean, they've got the
coolest toys ever!
Everyone gave me a weird look.
Geez can't a guy squeal without questioning anymore these days!
Edward just shook his head and sighed. Stupid mind reader.
Rosalie looked like she was choking on dog food. "WHAT? I refuse to
be within a 2 mile radius from...Walmart!" she shuttered after hissing
out "Walmart" like the word itself is poisonous.
Bella looked shocked - Alice didn't exactly make her hatred for
walmart a huge secret either.
If possible, Alice's grin turned even bigger as she handed each of us
a sheet of paper. On the paper, it read :
Things NOT To Do At Wal-Mart:
1. Scream random non-sense into the announcement system
2. Run around and poke people, then whisper "you have just been poked"
in an evil voice
3. Put condoms and/or tampons into peoples carts when they're not
looking
4. Run around and hug everyone
5. Go into a changeroom then yell "OMG THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!"
6. Use tomato juice/sauce and make a trail leading to the women's
washroom
7. Follow random people around just to annoy them, when they talk to
you, giggle at everything they say and don't reply
8. Hide in clothes racks and tell shoppers that they look fat/ugly in
whatever they're wearing and tell them to "buy me"
9. Chuck rubber balls at people and yell "THE BRITISH ARE COMING!"
10. Renact a scene from a pg 13 movie in the toy section
11. Talk to non-animated objects as if they are you're babies
12. Pretend to be a manniquin while dressed in ridiculous outfits
13. Make out/do rated-R things inside the store
14. Walk up to an employee and DEMAND a piggy back ride
15. Start crying in the most crowded section of the store, then scream
for 3 minutes, then jump up and down and laugh while clapping your
hands, then back to crying. Then walk off like nothing happened.
"sooo...what's you're point...?" I was very so confuzzled.
She sighed a dramatic sigh and replied, "we're gonna do all of those
things listed there of course. Duh!"
But I wasn't listening to her, cause I just had an amazing idea—"OMG!
I have a great idea! We should actually DO THESE THINGS!" I was soooo
rebeelllll!
"um...Emmett thats what i just said."
Oh, well thanks for ruining my moment.
Edward snorked (yes, that's my word for snorted and smirked combined.
"God emmett, you are just too smart to be true" I told myself)
And with that, Edward burst out laughing.
