I came up with this idea way back during season 2 (long time ago I know) and I'm just now actually getting around to finishing the story. This is my first multi-chaptered story so any and all criticize is greatly welcomed. I'd love to hear your views and thoughts on the story so don't be shy! Let me know what you think! Without further ado…

It had been four years since he had left without notice. Four years since I had received answering machine after answering machine from him. Four years since I had had panic attack after panic attack worrying about him; thinking the worst.Four years since I had walked into his apartment to find it empty and no traces of his existence. Four years since I had cried myself to sleep on his apartment floor. Four years since I had last seen his face.

Chapter 1

It was my twenty first birthday. Hanna, Spencer, and Emily were taking me out with their appropriate others to my first trip to the bar, legally that is. My birthdays had never been the same without him. He always seemed bring a special light to them. However much I missed him though, I wasn't going to let my misery ruin the night.

I began the process of getting ready and by nine o' clock I was completely finished and ready to hit the road. I walked down stairs and grabbed my keys and cell phone and snatched my purse off the island in my kitchen, tossing my keys and phone into it before walking out the door and to my car. As I navigated my way out of the parking complex, I turned up the volume on the radio. Happiness. Our song. It had just begun and I couldn't help the stray tears that fell from my eyes. I inwardly cursed myself for letting my emotions get the best of me and quickly wiped the tears away, muting the radio in the process. This was supposed to be a happy night. A celebration. And I was ruining it for myself by thinking about the past. I'll never know why he disappeared or where he went, I don't know why I waste my time wondering about it. He probably realized how wrong what we were doing was and left before things became too overpowering. Although a part of me wondered if he could ever do something like that to someone. Someone who he loved and wanted to marry one day. As I drove into the club's parking lot, I had to remind myself to forget about him, if only for tonight, and berated myself for continually allowing him to flood my thoughts after all these years. I found a parking spot, grabbed my purse, and got out. I found Hanna and Caleb with Emily and Maya waiting near the entrance. As I walked towards the club, I spotted Spencer and Toby walking up as well.

I greeted them all before we headed inside. I walked straight to the nearest table and everyone else followed in suit. We ordered our drinks and commenced in light conversation reminiscing about what has been going on in our lives since the last time we had all met up before Hanna dragged us all onto the dance floor. We danced for what seemed like endless hours before we finally sat down to save our feet from permanent destruction. I took a sip of my drink and relinquished in the comfort it brought me. Now I know why Ezra always had a glass of scotch when he was stressed. I immediately blocked my mind from all thoughts of him, I had gotten this far without a single thought and I wasn't going to ruin it now. I plastered a smile on my face and continued to converse with my friends about all the memories we shared when we were younger.

By about two the next morning, we decided it would be best for us to go home so we said our goodbyes and departed to our separate cars. I drove home, doing my best to keep my eyes open from the amount of alcohol I had consumed tonight. I walked into my house and tossed my purse onto the counter before dragging myself up to bed. The last thoughts I had before I fell into a dreamless slumber were of Ezra.

~X~

I woke up the next morning with a horrible headache and slowly made my way to the kitchen. I grabbed some aspirin and a glass of water and chugged them down. I slowly made myself breakfast before beginning my morning routine. I had just finished brushing my teeth when there was a knock at the door. I walked down stairs to the front door and looked through the microscopic peephole. I unlocked and opened the door when I realized it was just the mailman on his morning route. I kindly accepted the mail and sent him on his way. Figuring it was just bills I tossed them on the island in the kitchen and made my way upstairs to the study. Scanning the many bookshelves in the room my eyes fell upon a tattered and well-aged book. To Kill A Mockingbird. Slowly removing the book from its spot on the shelf, I opened it up and all the memories came flooding back. It wasn't until I saw a tear splash onto a random page that I realized I was crying. I quickly closed the book and set it back on its designated spot on the bookshelf before picking up a random book and curling up on the small sofa in the corner of the room.

You're not going to do this again. You've done this every day since he left. You need to wake up and face reality. He left you. He's never coming back. He doesn't love you. He never did.

I slammed my book closed and abruptly stood up and marched to my bedroom. I wasn't going to do this again. I changed into my workout gear and jogged downstairs before locking the door and walking across the lawn. I thought an afternoon run would take my mind off of things and allow me to forget, if only for a moment, the painful memories. I put my headphones in my ears, turned the music on full blast, and just started running. I guess you could say I had a Forest Gump moment because once I started, I didn't want to stop. I just kept running and running and before I knew it the sun had set and the street lights were on. I turned around and started running home. It was after ten o' clock when I had finally walked through the door. I jogged upstairs to take a quick shower and change into comfortable clothes before fixing dinner. Just as I had finished cleaning everything up and was about to head upstairs I remembered the bills I had tossed on the counter earlier this morning. I would've left them until the morning but something inside of me pushed me to look at them now. I walked over to the counter and picked them up, going through each of them individually and tossing them on the counter. I stopped suddenly when I came across a crinkled and dirty envelope. I could barely make out the writing it was so tattered. I held it under the light as I opened it slowly, careful as to not rip anything within its confines. I gently pulled out the letter within the envelope and began to read it. I could have sworn my heart stopped beating when I realized who had written the letter. I had to read the name at the bottom of the page at least ten times to be sure I wasn't imaging things. But sure enough, there, carefully handwritten at the bottom of the letter was the name, Ezra Fitz.