Hamlet Abridged- Episode 2: Spaced Out on Sensation DELETED SCENE
So, I kinda forgot a major plot point in the story. There is a bit prior to where the actors acting out the play that Hamlet orded them to, in which Hamlet and Ophelia were supposed to have a conversation while Polonius and Claudius hide behind the curtains. This is also the point in the play in which Hamlet gives his famous "to be or not to be" monologue. A lot of people who read the original have probably noticed this and probably think I'm taking a piss. Which I am. In any case, here it is.
[this takes place right before Hamlet, Horatio, Claudius, and Gertrude watch the play}
(in the hallway)
Hamlet: (unedited from the original work)
To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a Sea of troubles,
and by opposing end them: to die, to sleep
no more; and by a sleep, to say we end
the heart-ache, and the thousand natural shocks
that flesh is heir to? 'Tis a consummation
devoutly to be wished.
(enter Ophelia)
Ophelia: What does that mean?
Hamlet: What?
Ophelia: What you just said
Hamlet: Oh, I was just talking about the pain and unfairness in the world while stating how suicide and death could be better or worse. But people will probably just use the first part ironically or when they're trying to be funny. Sort of like right now.
Ophelia: Oh, cool. Hey, Hamlet, I was wondering if-
Hamlet: Ophelia, I am so absolutely unattracted to you. I honestly veiw you as a blemish on an otherwise beautiful world. On the hot or not scale, I rate somewhere between a peice of wet wood and a contracting sphincter.
Ophelia: (surprised) Oh
(exit Hamlet. Enter Polonius and Claudius)
Claudius: Dayum, son, your ass is gonna need some Ricolla for that burn.
Polonius: Word up, nyeh heh heh. Well, I guess your not making him crazy.
Ophelia: (sarcastic) Yeah, thanks, dad.
Polonius: But shit, dog, that was savage, nyeh heh heh.
Ophelia: Fuck off
Polonius: Fuck off what?
Ophelia: (sighs) Fuck off, nyeh heh heh
Polonius: That's my girl
