How Ted Met Robin Sparkles (post Slap Bet version)
November, 2006. Living Room of Ted, Lily, and Marshall's apartment. Ted, Lily, Barney, and Marshall are watching, singing along, and dancing to Robin's "Let's Go to the Mall" video for the 634th time on the laptop. Robin sits on the couch with elbow on the armrest and her hand on her temple. Her eyes are rolling.
ALL (EXCEPT ROBIN): [dancing and singing] Everybody come and play, throw every last care away, let's go to the mall today…
LILY: [singing with the video]There's this boy I like, met him at the food court, he's got hair like Gretzky and he does jumps on his skateboard…
BARNEY: [Singing] Hope he asks me out, take me to my favourite spot, it'll be just him and me, but forget the robot…
TED: Dad says I'm young to date, but baby I don't wanna wait…let's do it!
MARSHALL: But that's okay I'm gonna rock your body anyway, I'm gonna rock your body 'til Canada day!
Ted face suddenly has a look of realization. His eyes widen and his jaw drops.
TED: [to himself] Oh…my…god!
ALL (EXCEPT TED AND ROBIN): Everybody come and play, throw every last care away, let's go to the mall, today…
Ted goes to laptop and clicks on stop button. The video stops.
BARNEY: Ted, what the hell?
MARSHALL: Come on, I wanted to hear the rap segment for the 634th time!
TED: I just realized something. This is not the first time I heard this song.
BARNEY: Of course not. This is the 634th time you heard this song!
TED: That's not what I mean.
LILY: What do you mean then, Ted?
TED: I have Robin Sparkles on CD!
LILY: No way!
TED: Give a minute, I'll show you! [runs to bedroom, returns 3 minutes later with a CD case with picture of Robin Sparkles on the cover, raising it in the air] Who wants to burn the songs on their iTunes?
BARNEY: [laughing] Awesome!
MARSHALL: I've gotta put this album on my iTunes!
LILY: How did you get hold of this album?
ROBIN: How did you, Ted? I never was able to break into the international charts, thank God! Did you buy it on Amazon?
TED: No, I didn't.
MARSHALL: [surfing the web] He couldn't have, it's out of print, even on the Canadian branch of amazon.
BARNEY: Don't tell me you went to Canada to buy the album! That's really lame, even for you to go to maple leaf country. [pauses] You didn't did you.
TED: I did go to Toronto in 1993. But I did not buy the CD.
LILY: Of course not. Your parents bought it for you.
TED: Nope, they didn't buy it either. And neither Heather nor I smuggled it across the border. It was a gift…from Robin herself. She gave it to me after we went on a date together, in 1993, in Canada.
MARSHALL: Bull!
BARNEY: That's the biggest whopper.
LILY: If this was my kindergarten class, I'd have either made you sit in the corner or sent you to the principal's office. Lying is wrong! The Bible said so!
ROBIN: Honestly, I don't remember meeting you in Toronto!
TED: Maybe because I had a Jewfro and glasses at the time. But we celebrated your 13th birthday in the back of your limo. That was the best part of my trip to Toronto that year. Even better than seeing the CN Tower.
BARNEY: Ooh Ted, you naughty devil you! With a celebrity? Wow! Tell me all the details! Don't leave anything out!
TED: Nothing like that happened! All you ever think about is sex!
ROBIN: Ted, I don't remember going on a date with you, and I'm Robin Sparkles! I'm sorry, it does not ring a bell.
TED: [holding CD] Fellows, please join Robin on the couch.
Lily and Marshall sit on the sofa next to Robin. Barney and Ted take opposite chairs.
TED: Fellows, let me tell you the story about how I met Robin Sparkles…
End of Act 1.
