*sighs* Hhhhhokay. Yes, I am starting another one. I have no idea why. I just needed to. It's probably going to end up being a bad decision anyway. Well, go ahead and read. I'm sorry for the long-ass memo. Just bear with me here and PLEASE tell me if you want me to continue.

"So basically you have to be in Atlanta fucking Georgia for another two weeks?!"

"...Yeah…"

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you cannot believe what you are hearing. He has to be gone for another two weeks?! Two?! He said one week, not three!

"Why in the everloving fuck do you have to be there for another 14 days?"

"Uh, well the flights and meetings got delayed. It's not like I'm motherfuckin' choosing to stay in this city longer, Karbro."

"I fucking know that, but do you ever complain?! Gamzee, you can't just fucking go along with whatever this stupid company decides to pull out of its ass. Say something to HR! I don't fucking know!"

"Well i don't motherfuckin' see why you're all up and stressin' about this, bro. You're the one who said he wouldn't miss me."

Oh fuck no, he did not just say that. No. You will never admit to missing his lazy ass.

"Shut the fuck up, I just don't want to be the one caring for both cats while you're gone. I don't miss you. I can function perfectly without you."

"I sincerely doubt that, Karkles."

"What the fuck ever. You're the one who's fucking clingy. I have to go get food for this empty house now, so bye."

"Alright, Grumpy. Love ya."

"I love you too."

You hang up the phone with an angry tap on the screen and shove the thing down into your pocket. Of course you don't miss him. Why would you miss the asshole anyway? It's not like you depend on him.

You get up off of the couch and grab your keys from the side table. Your shorthair, pure white cat, Crabdad, walks over to you and runs himself around your legs. You lean down and scratch his head.

"Fucking dumbass. You're lucky you're cute," you say, smiling softly as you emit a purr from him. You walk to the front door of your apartment and get out into the hallway with ugly-as-fuck dull red carpeting and puke-yellow wallpaper. You make your way to the elevator and press the button that says "lobby".

You tap your foot on the floor while you wait for the doors to open. Stupid catchy elevator music is going to get stuck in your head for the rest of the day.

The doors finally part to let you out of this earworm-filled trap, but before you can step out and onto the floor, you are stopped by your hatred for the two standing in front of you.

"Oh, Hey Karkat!" John says, waving. Dave does nothing. Nothing at all. This is why you hate him. He just stand there with his arm around John, staring ahead like the douchebag, fake-coolkid he is.

"Out of my way, fucktards," you growl out, shoving past them towards the front doors of the complex.

"Alright! Nice to see you anyway!" you hear the nerd yell back as the elevator doors close on him. He is such a fucking idiot. You guys are neighbors, it's not like he hasn't seen you in years.

You are too lazy to go back into the garage and find your car, so you decide to take the public transit. Luckily, the bus doesn't take too long to show up and you are on your way to the supermarket.

You're glad you live in Monrovia. It's close enough to LA so that it has nice weather, but it's not completely filled with homeless bums and isn't as gritty. It takes about fifteen minutes to get to the building.

You get what you need and line up in the checkout and, apparently, this is a day when you can do nothing but run into your friends. You are greeted by a popular blind, red-lensed 24-year old and her cat-obsessed girlfriend in front of you in line.

"Heeey Karkles!" Terezi says, grinning. "What brings you here this time of year?"

You glare straight at her and you make sure she can smell it or whatever.

"Terezi, I am here, much like an average fucking person, to buy food. Why the fuck else would I be here?"

"I don't know, to escape your longing of your juggalo man-hunk," she giggles out, poking you in the shoulder. You wonder how the fuck she knows where to reach if she's blind. Nearly all the shit she pulls off is impossible for usual blind people.

"Shut the fuck up, Hangwoman, I don't miss the asshole. I'm actually glad I get a break from him," you snap back. Nepeta narrows her eyes at you and shakes her head.

"Lies," she snarls out. You lean back a bit, eyes wide, as she glares at you. "Of course you miss him. There's no way you don't."

You roll your eyes at this and scoff. "Whatever, Nepeta."

She turns around along with Terezi and you eventually escape from the grocery store. They both sit next to you on the bus, and of course they annoy the living shit out of you just like all of your other friends. It's weird how you all ended up living in the same apartment after college.

As soon as you shut the door to your apartment, you flop down on the couch and are greeted by your turtle-shell Maine coon, Goatdad. He jumps up on the back of the couch, meows, and carefully places his front paws on your chest. You reach up and smile, scratching his fuzzy cheek. He starts to purr and brings his hind legs down from the couch and onto you, leaning his entire body against your hand, rubbing your fingers with both cheeks. You laugh lightly as he rubs his face along yours, licking your nose.

"You fucking huge, floofy feline. You are way too fucking affectionate. You get it from Gamzee," you say happily, running your hands down his back all the way to the end of his tail, the long, thick fur falling off in clumps due to his shedding.

Crabdad walks into the room, and as soon as he does, Goatdad jumps off of you and pounces onto him. He successfully takes him down and, per usual, starts licking him and trying to groom him. Crabdad deals with it for a while, but escapes from his best friend's loving clutches, and runs back into your room and under the bed, his normal spot for the day. Goatdad prances into the room along with him to do god knows what.

This is when you decide to switch on the TV, and only the future Karkat would know that this is a bad idea. The first thing you see is the default news station the television always switches on to. But, the thing you see is not-so-default.

It's Gamzee and his for once unpainted face in a dress shirt and tie, being interviewed by the news crew. Apparently, the company he worked for wanted some employees to be interviewed about the major flight delays. This is exactly what you didn't need. More things to remind you of him. Somewhere, the future Karkat is screaming "I told you so".

You stare at the screen for a while before the news channel switches to a new subject and you quickly change the channel. You exhale deeply, feeling a bit reassured that the TV will provide some magical subject to distract you. But this news channel has the same story too. Click. The next channel has a bunch of circus clown on it. Hell no. Click. This show is all about colors. Today, of course, they talk about purple. Gamzee's favorite. He has purple everything. Click. A documentary about the zodiac, focusing on Capricorn and Cancer. Click. This one has an ad for Faygo. Click.

By this point, you shut the TV off altogether. The universe is deciding to screw with you today, isn't it?

Now you have to get him off of your mind or else you'll go crazy. The need to hug him will become so strong that it will build up inside you and you'll explode like a shaken up soda bottle.

You shake this though from your head immediately. Think of something to distract you, goddamnit! Oh, you know, you'll get a snack! Yeah, food will solve this problem. Food and a little online chatting with your friends.

You grab a half-full bag of potato chips from on top of the fridge and walk into your bedroom. You take your red laptop off of the desk, sitting on your bed with your knees up. You put the keyboard on your legs, pry it open, and run Pesterchum, the thing all of your friends use. You see Sollux is hosting another memo and you click on the dull yellow type, sending you to another hellhole of a chat.

carcioGeneticist [CG]joined memo.

CG: HELLO ASSHOLES, WHAT FUCKING DECAYING ANCIENT RUINS OF A MEMO ARE WE GOING TO CREATE TODAY?

GC: H3Y K4RKL3S :]

GC: F4NCY S331NG YOU H3R3 H3H3.

CG: AND I SUPPOSE YOU ARE HERE ON A REGULAR FUCKING BASIS.

TA: actually ye2 2he ii2 becau2e 2he liike2 to rp wiith everyone.

CG: THANK YOU SOLLUX, FOR HELPING ME OUT THERE.

CG: I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

TA: no problem kk

caligulasAquarium [CA] joined memo.

CA: greetings wworthless landwwellers.

CG: OH SHUT THE FUCK UP. JUST BECAUSE YOU STALK FEFERI AT THE POOL ON A DAILY BASIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU FUCKING LIVE IN THE WATER.

cuttlefishCuller [CC] joined memo.

CC: )(ello everyone! 38D

CC: w)(at are we talking about today?

TA: not really anythiing

TA: ju2t chattiing ii gue22

CG: EVEN IF WE WERE DISCUSSING SOME WEIRD SERIOUS MATTER IT'D GO COMPLETELY OFF TOPIC AND HAUNT US ALL.

apocalypeArisen [AA] joined memo.

AA: hell0

TA: hii AA

TA: how are you?

AA: g00d!

AA: i actually had a successful excavati0n with my team this m0rning!

TA: that2 niice

AA: s0 any h0t t0pics t0day?

AA: being all the way in egypt for five m0nths really d0esn't pr0vide ime f0r me t0 catch up with y0u guys.

GC: W3LL TH3 ONLY TH1NG 1 C4N TH1NK OF 1S TH4T G4MZ33 1S ON 4 BUS1N3SS TR1P 4ND K4RK4T C4N'T STOP TH1NK1NG 4BOUT H1M H3H3H3 :]

CG: TEREZI YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW

CG: I DO NOT MISS THAT FUCKING JUGGALO.

terminallyCapricious [TC] joined memo.

CG: OF FUCKING COURSE.

TC: hEeEeEeY :o)

GC: G4MZ 1 THOUGHT YOU W3R3 BUSY :?

TC: wElL tHeRe'S nOt aNy MeEtInGs FoR LiKe

TC: ThReE hOuRs

TC: So I'm FiNe :o)

GC: W3LL YOU'R3 JUST 1N T1M3

GC: B3C4US3 W3 W3R3 JUST T4LK1NG 4BOUT HOW NUBS MCSHOUTY 1S CONST4NTLY LONG1NG FOR YOU :]

CG: TEREZI SHUT THE FUCK UP I DO NOT MISS HIM

TC: Oh DoEs He NoW?

arachnidsGrip [AG]joined memo.

AG: don't deny it karkles ;;;;)

AG: you miss him to deeeeeeeeath!

CG: WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THIS

CG: I ***DO NOT*** MISS HIM AND THAT IS THAT

CC: awww come on karkat!

CC: )(e's your glubbing BOYFRI-END!

CC: of course you miss him, don't lie.

TC: wElL sAiD sIs

TC: I sUrE aS hElL mIsS hIm :o(

arsenicCatnip [AC] joined memo.

AC: awwwww!

AC: that's adorable! :33

CG: AND THEN THE CAT-OBSESSED FUCKING FANGIRL DECIDED TO COME IN AT JUST THE RIGHT TIME.

AC: just in time to assure gamz33 that you miss him!

AC: because you do! :33

TC: I kNoW nEpSiS

TC: No MaTtEr HoW mOtHeRfUcKiN hArD hE dEnIeS iT

TC: I kNoW hE dOeS ;o)

CG: OH MY GOOOOOOD

CG: ALL OF YOU STOP FUCKING SAYING THINGS THAT DO NOT APPLY TO YOU

CA: oh come on

CA: evven i knoww wwhat it's like to fuckin miss someone kar

CG: I FIND THAT EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO BELIEVE, YOU ARROGANT PRICK.

CA: wwell you better get to believvin it

TA: shut up fii2hdiick we all know that2 not true

CA: and wwhat experience do you havve sol

CA: you spend your days at your fuckin computer tryin to wwoo some wweird fossil girl

TA: fuck off a22hole you don't know anythiing about that

AA: wait s0llux what?

CG: WILL YOU TWO FUCKING STOP WITH THE CANDLELIGHT HATE DATE AND GET ON WITH THIS

CG: EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE NOTHING TO FUCKING TALK ABOUT

AG: i think we can beg to differ karkat ::::)

CG: DO NOT FUCKING START THIS AGAIN

CC: karkat we all know you can't deny it.

AC: if we have to slap it into you we will not hesitate

CG: OKAY NEPETA THAT IS BORDERLINE PSYCHOPATH

CG: DO NOT REMIND ME YOU SAID THAT

CG: EVER.
GC: SORRY K4RKL3S BUT YOU JO1N3D TH1S M3MO SO NOW TH3R3'S NO 3SC4P1NG 1T

CG: YOU ARE THE ONE WHO BROUGHT IT UP IN THE FIRST PLACE!

TC: wHaT dId ShE bRiNg Up?

CG: SHE BROUGHT UP THE STUPID FUCKING FACT THAT I MISS YOU WERE YOU NOT LISTENING

TC: So YoU fInAlLy AdMiT tO iT ;o)

CG: WHAT

CG: NO

AC: no no no you admitted to it now we all know its true! :33

GC: SO TH3 GRUMPY SUSP3CT 4DM1TS TO D3S1R1NG TH3 TOUCH OF H1S CLOWNY BOYFR13ND.

GC: Y3T 4NOTH3R C4S3 SOLVED BY TH3 H4NGWOM4N AND H3R TRUSTY COMP4N1ONS.

CG: YOU DID *NOT* JUST SAY THAT

CG: YOU DID NOT HAVE TO FUCKING WORD IT THAT WAY

GC: OH BUT 1 D1D :]

TC: i DuNnO bRo i KiNdA lIkEd ThE wAy ShE wOrDeD iT ;o)

CG: SHUT UP CLOWNFUCK

CG: WE DO NOT NEED YOUR COMMENTS ON THIS

turntechGodhead [TG] joined memo.

TG: sup

ectoBiologist [EB] joined memo.

EB: hey!

CG: OH GREAT, ANOTHER PAIR OF IGNORANT ASSHOLES DECIDE TO JOIN THE ANNOY THE FUCK OUT OF KARKAT PARTY.

EB: why would we be annoying you?

TG: i think he's just riled up about the juggalo asshole being gone

EB: oh yeah

EB: is that why you're mad karkat?

EB: well

EB: more mad than usual?

CG: NO IT IS NOT

TC: nAh JoHnBrO wE'rE jUsT bOtHeRiN hIm AbOuT hOw MuCh He MisSeS Me

TG: are you kidding me

TG: ever since the day you left we have been teasing him about it

TG: the dude is barely making it over here

TG: the way he reacts to us bothering him is ironic as hell.

TC: WaIt A fUcKiN sEcOnD hErE

TC: I dOn'T tHiNk I wAnT yA tEaSiNg HiM dAvE

TG: whatever clown i'm gonna do what i want

TG: it's my job to be ironic

CG: STRIDER YOU ARE SUCH AN IGNORAMUS THAT I COULD SHIT MILES OF RAGE SNAKE TO CHOKE YOU TO DEATH.

CG: YOU DON'T EVEN USE THE WORD "IRONIC" CORRECTLY YOU ASSHOLE

TG: so what

TG: like i said, i'll do what i want

EB: come on dave, don't be a douche bag!

EB: if you keep doing that i'll never let you rap around me again.

TG: i don't want to risk it

TG: so fine

CG: I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY THIS, BUT THANK YOU EGDOUCHE.

TA: okay 2o should we end thiis now becau2e iit ii2 goiing nowhere

triggerWarning [TW] joined memo.

TW: Hell9 there every9ne.

sexyGreaser [SG] joined memo.

SG: oooh kankri hiya toots

CG: OH NO

CG: DO NOT TELL ME YOU TWO ARE HERE

TW: I'm s9rry Karkat, did I trigger y9u in any way?

CG: OH MY GOD KANKRI BY NOW YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOU AND YOUR FUCKING COCKY GREASER BOYFRIEND ANNOY THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME

SG: wvell at least i aint tryin a sext him wvhile im on here

TW: Cr9nus, y9u c0uld have triggered s9me9ne! D9n't speak of that ar9und here!

CG: WAIT

CG: WAIT A FUCKING SECOND HERE

CG: YOU GUYS HAVE DONE THAT?

TW: Well…

TW: I kn9w that lying can 6e classified as triggering s9…

SG: wvhat kanbabe is tryin a say here is that yes, wve indeed havwe

CG: OH MY GOD

CG: EVERYONE IN THIS MEMO WAS JUST FUCKING TRIGGERED I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT

TW: 9h dear…

SG: hah, nowv nepeta can fantasize about that

AC: oh you bet i will.

CG: SWEET JESUS

CG: STOP TALKING
TG: oh but karkat, we have just begun

CG: STRIDER I SWEAR TO GOD

TG: what god, karkat?

TG: there is no god now

GC: H3H3H3 TH1S 1S GO1NG TO B3 FUN

TW: Excuse me 6ut i d9 n9t think we sh9uld 6e speaking of such things. I myself am a 6it triggered by his su6ject. The c9ncept 9f intimate and/9r physical r9mantic relati9nships is a very pers9nal thing, and unfairness is an9ther p9ssi6le trigger, s9 if we talk a69ut it then every9ne has t9.

CG: KANKRI DO YOU REALLY THINK WE WOULD BE "TRIGGERED" BY THEMSELVES NOT BEING ABLE TO TALK ABOUT THEIR SEX LIFE

TC: i DuNnO kArBrO

TC: I kInDa WaNt To TaLk AbOuT iT

CG: FUCK YOU

CG: FUCK YOU FOR ME JUST READING THAT

TW: 9h well hell9 there Gamzee!

TW: H9w have y9u 6een?

TC: i'M gOoD kAnKrI

TW: I heard y9u were out 9n a 6usiness trip. Y9u sh9uld 6e c9ming h9me t9m9r9w, right?

TC: wElL i WaS sUpPoSeD tO

TC: bUt SoMe MeEtInGs AnD fLiGhTs GoT dElAyEd

TC: AaAaAaAnD sO i'M hErE iN aTlAnTa FoR aNoThEr TwO wEeKs :o(

TW: I see.

TW: Well I 6et my little 6r9ther misses y9u.

CG: NO

CG: WE JUST GOT OFF OF THAT FUCKING TOPIC

AA: 0h karkat st0p it.

AA: y0u are a n0rmal human being and human beings always feel desperate l0nging when their l0ved 0nes are g0ne.

AA: and d0n't y0u dare say y0u d0n't l0ve gamzee.

AA: because that w0uld be very idi0tic of you.

CG: YOU AND YOUR FUCKING SCIENCEY HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY THING.

TG: haha no i want to hear about your sex life karkat

TG: i'm sure gamzee will be glad to tell me

TC: WeLl I mIgHt HaVe SaId SoMeThInG bUt NoW i ReMeMbEr

TC: YoU'rE hErE :o(

TG: oh wow, clown.

TG: that was such a bad burn i think i'm going to be a huge fucking blister for the rest of my life.

TG: why don't you just go smoke some more weed and jack off to shouty somewhere

You swear you can feel Gamzee seething from across the country. You know he and Dave kind of… Well, they really hate each other. Every time they have to deal with or see each other, all of your friends can practically see black mist rising off of them.

TC: shut the fuck up.

Ah shit. Dave made him mad.

TC: YOU STOP MOTHERFUCKIN BOTHERING HIM.

TC: and you never say anything like that to him.

TC: YOU HEAR ME, MOTHERFUCKER?

TG: loud and clear, mr. intimidating typing quirk.

TG: and whatever you say, i'll be sure to do the exact opposite.

EB: alright, dave.

EB: you had your chance! and you blew it!

EB: no rapping in the apartment for a month. and now you have to buy gamzee some more facepaint for when he gets back.

TG: shit

CG: OKAY THIS IS GETTING BORING

CG: I'M GOING TO FUCKING LEAVE

CC: yea)( me too

CC: i )(ave to go give out towels at the pool anyway! 38D

AA: and i have t0 c0ntinue digging 0ut sarc0phagi with my team

TW: Alright

TW: I guess n9w is a g99d time t9 say g99d6ye.

triggerWarning [TW] has exited the memo.

SG: wvell i gotta go get some summer lovwin from triggers ovwer here

SG: so sayonara fuckers

sexyGreaser [SG] has exited the memo.

carcioGeneticist [CG] has exited the memo.

Everyone else [EE] has exited the memo because the author thought it'd be too repetitive if she typed all of that shit.

You close your laptop aggressively and place it back on the desk. You cross your arms and stare at the wall in front of you, zoning out.

This is going to be a long week.