Duplicity
LadyNoir/Adrienette
It's strange to hear from Ladybug when the city isn't in peril – this is Chat's first reaction to the frantic voicemail on his disposable "mobile chat," one of a pair, held by him and Ladybug, for emergencies. His idea, of course. Ladybug has been fervent about their secrets since high school. She would never give him the number to her real phone, for her real life.
The voicemail is rushed, like she's giddy from nerves or excitement, and it's simple. A time, a date a place. She says I need to talk to you, but doesn't answer when Adrien calls, which puts him on edge. He can't focus during his photoshoot. He can barely think at all.
Lucky for him, Marinette once a friend, now his personal stylist, usually attentive and alert (if not a bit scatterbrained) is also in an odd state, and between the two of them all out of sorts, the shoot gets cut short due to lack of forward momentum.
"I'm sorry," says Marinette, afterward, ever polite. She's kind but distant. Adrien can't blame her, he is also partly responsible. Besides, Marinette has been a little out of it since the day she turned him down.
That had surprised him, too, since Alya had been adamant that Marinette had had a crush on him since they were in school. He'd always had a kind of crush on her, too, a backburner interest around his attentions towards Ladybug.
He'd thought they'd be good together, he and Marinette. She'd been kind to him as Adrien, and a friend to him as Chat…
"Me, too," he says, pushing away the memories.
The night of the meeting, Chat Noir stands on the rooftops of Paris, staring at a water fixture below. There is no wind, no sound. At two in the morning no one is awake who wants to be seen. In the dead quiet, Ladybug lands like a rock and he pivots to her. He thinks, like he has always thought, that she is beautiful, and Chat knows that he's got to be the unluckiest sucker on the planet. To fall in love with two women who both take the paths to either side of him.
Ladybug is shorter than him, but she looks at him like they're on even ground, and they're equal so he could ask for nothing less.
"Chat," she says, her voice smooth, her eyes soft, her hair, cut short now, blows up and settles.
When they had first met, full of teenaged excitement and fear, she'd dominated, still. Grown now, it's like they're frozen in time, she hasn't changed, and he loves her just the same. He wants to say something, might have, but she looks like she's fighting herself and he doesn't want to break the trance between them.
"I need you to listen to me," she says.
Chat opens his mouth to speak but she stops him.
"Just this once," she says, "all the way through." He can't deny her, the stern shoulders; her eyes are fierce now, set with determination. He never wants to be anywhere else, but he's scared. What if she doesn't want to work with him? What if she's dropping out of the superhero game? What if, he thinks…
"Okay," he tells her, "I'm all ears," and she breathes deep.
"I could be two people," Ladybug says, "meet two boys who grow up to be two men, walk two paths for two causes I believe in," she stops and looks at him hard, "forward in the direction of my dreams, forward, as Ladybug." Chat holds his breath. "I could die twice in both lives, right now, and never regret a single moment," she says; his breath hitches in his throat.
"I'd never let that happen," says Adrien, firm.
"Shh, kitty," smiles Ladybug, "I could live two lives. The same two lives - I could," she stops, suddenly, looks away from him, "I can live two lives," she says, "and in the end I can only go at night to one home. And in the end," she says, "I can fall in love with two people, and each time, in every life, chose the same one."
Not knowing what to do, feeling half way like he'll embarrass himself for even having the hope, but needing to be sure - he needs to be sure - he points at himself, confused, cautiously optimistic. She can break him, she knows this, but she is kind and she wouldn't hurt him like that … Would she?
When Ladybug smiles, the entire world lights up and Chat feels the radiated warmth in every inch of him, the surest confirmation he's ever received in his life.
"I'm not Ladybug," she says, "it's just a mask – and I know you're not just Chat Noir."
"I'm more Chat Noir than anything else," says Adrien.
"I want to tell you who I am … If I tell you my identity, there's a very real chance you'll be disappointed," says Ladybug, "but I think I want you to know now."
"You? Disappoint me? Im-paw-sible," says Chat, echoes Adrien, nervous without knowing why. He vaguely registers that he's shaking, but Ladybug isn't. She brings her hands to her earrings, undoes one. Chat's anxious but she deserves to say no, so he drops the joking facade, stares into her, whispers: "you don't have to do this."
Ladybug smiles. "I know," she says, and removes the other.
The red suit, spots and all, dissolve at the heels, work up until even the mask is gone.
Adrien is surprised to find that he is not surprised at all when Marinette stands before him.
He laughs so hard he might cry at the sheer irony of it all. It's so unfair. It's all so unfair. Before Marinette has the chance to misinterpret, before she has the chance to do much of anything at all, Adrien pulls off his ring.
Black he thinks: dim light, dim chance. He's so unlucky it hurts.
"I think," says Adrien, when the ears are all but a shadow, when he feels exposed and miserable, "that in this case, I'm the disappointing one."
Please feel free to comment, critique, etc.! There's a second chapter to this which I will post either tomorrow or Wednesday, so also keep an eye out for that. :)
Cross posted on tumblr and at AO3.
