A BAD swim
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Loosely based on "A good swim" in Brazil's Tio Patinhas # 423
I just bought Boom Ducktales # 4 (that's what Uncle Scrooge # 395 * SHOULD be called) and had fun rewriting it. I'll probably keep my version to myself.
(* US #394 and 395 have a theiving black cat named Felina in them. 5 minute pause for Spiderman jokes.)
It was a HOT day in Duckburg. People were swimming in pools at a fancy resort. A fancy resort owned, operated and built by FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD.
Which means the place was constructed with chewing gum, library paste and white glue. (I.E.: Cheap, substandard materials, very cheap very substandard materials, VERY, very cheap substandard materials. Plus lots of bribery and lots of showing inspectors good materials and switching cheap junk the second the inspectors backs were turned.)
It had been an unusually hot and dry summer. The cheaply made pools had been weakened by the heat, by neglect (you don't think Flinty pays to fix something if he don't have to? Hah!)The pools cracked and collapsed.
It had been too hot and too dry for too long and the cheaply made pools could no longer contain the icy cold water. (Hot water costs more.)The poor snooks swimming in the pools found themselves being swept by the force of water towards the nearby ocean.
Launchpad soon came by with a seaplane. First, he lowered down a large "raft" on ropes so "people" could climb or swim onto it and be hauled to safety. Then he landed on the sea so more people could swim on to the raft or be thrown a lifeline.
Meanwhile, Gizmoduck and Duckblur showed up. They got to work rescuing people. Giz tore off an intact piece of a broken-down pier. He steered it to where people were floundering so they could climb on board. Duckblur sped up time for herself alone so she seemed to travel at super speed. She ran over the water and grabbed people and took them to shore.
But they weren't working together, like they usually do. Duckblur was giving Giz the cold shoulder like you would not believe. They were two people working separately, instead of functioning as a team. Once the last person had been rescued, Giz tried to applease Duckblur.
"G...Gorgeous Duckblur" begin Giz, catching himself before he could call her Gandra.
"Don't you gorgeous me, MR. Gizmoduck. Go talk to that other woman, the one who was wearing your suit!" Duckblur replied.
"That was Launchpad's sister! And she said the secret word by accident! And you got superpowers! You need my suit the way Quicksilver needs Iron Man's armor!" Giz replied. (1)
"ER...maybe it's none of my business, Duckblur, but Giz is telling the Truth. I'm not sure how it happened, but my sister DID end up wearing the g-suit by accident...a fluke! Giz wasn't even around that day." Launchpad put in.
"You're right, Launchpad. It IS none of your business!" Duckblur replied."I know that's what Giz told you happened..."
"That's what MY sister, Loopy told me what happened! Why would she lie to me?" Launchpad asked.
"Besides, I was THERE! I'm not sure how it happened or why, but it was just a weird malfunction of the g-suit!"
Just about then, I arrived in a hydroplane. My parents were babysitting Launchpad and my kids.
"Excuse me, but could you two argue LATER and rescue "people' NOW?" I asked.
"But we already rescued all the people who were washed out to sea!" Duckblur objected.
"True. But high tide is coming in. All that water, and lots more is coming right BACK." I warned.
They looked and saw that a tidal wave was heading for the shore. And they stopped arguing and got back to work.
Launchpad kissed me, ran back into his plane and used the raft to rescue people on the boardwalk who otherwise might have drowned as the tidal wave poured over the boardwalk.
Giz went under the boardwalk and rescued people who had been too "busy" (ahem!) to notice the danger.
Duckblur "borrowed" a ferry boat out of order due to a non-working motor and pushed it to people so they could board it. Then she pushed it and them to safety.
I flew my hydroplane out to rescue swimmers who would have drowned in the oncoming tidal wave and took them to safety. Lifeguards swam out to do likewise.
"The tidal wave! It's headed towards the reservoir! If it bursts the reservoir, all that water will pour out to the ocean...and come right back in the upcoming tide!" Launchpad warned.
"The high tide is just beginning. Truce?" Giz asked Duckblur.
Thinking of all the "people" who could drown if they didn't cooperate, Duckblur said:
"Truce."
We got to work building a tidal wall in front of reservoir. Giz and Duckblur grabbed boulders and piled them into a wall. Launchpad used the raft to dredge the ocean. He brought sand, mud, gravel and junk that does NOT belong in the ocean (LOTS of it), which acted as mortar for the make-shift wall. I used a "grabber" to lift some large trash bags full of stale candy somebody had tossed and dropped them in front of the wall, to prevent the water from washing away the mud. Soon it was SALT WATER taffy.
This gave Mr. McDuck, watching all this on the TV an idea.
"Launchpad! Pick me up at once! I have a resort right near Flintheart's! I need to protect it!" Mr. McDuck radioed Launchpad.
""Sure thing, Mr. McDee!" Launchpad replied.
"Come to these coordinates..." Mr. McDuck ordered, giving Launchpad the location.
Soon Launchpad picked up Mr. McDuck and various sacks of stuff . Launchpad loaded onto the plane without asking stupid questions.
Then Launchpad flew back to the endangered reservoir and dropped the recalled flour, yeast...which mixed with the water below.
"THAT should prove I'm full of DOUGH!" Mr. McDuck joked. "I've been hanging around Launchpad too long."
The wall stopped the oncoming tidal wave. Soon, the ocean calmed down and went back to normal. The officials decided to cement the boulders together to make it a permanent tidal wall. Hungry sea birds were already eating the dough. I used my hydroplane's grabber to move the trash bags to the dump, where they belonged.
"Won't it make them sick, since the dough might be contaminated? That's why it was recalled." I asked.
"I doubt it. Animals have much stronger resistent to disease then people." Mr. McDuck replied. "And they would eat the flour, once it was tossed into the dump, anyway. Besides, how can we stop them?
Since Duckblur and Giz had been working together all this time, they decided to kiss and make up.
"I'm sorry I got jealous." Duckblur said.
"I'm kind of FLATTERED you got jealous! But I'm NOT stupid enough to cheat on you! I know when I've got a good thing going and I know better than to rock the boat!" Giz replied.
The End.
(1) Launchpad gave Giz the reader's digest version of what happened In "The Loopy-est Gizmoduck".
Normally, I'd have Giz say "You need my suit the way the Flash needs Green Lantern's power ring", but Disney owns Marvel not DC.
How should I know if a lot of water pouring into the ocean just before high tide would cause a tidal wave or not?
