Chapter One: Blame it on the alcohol

-Eren-

I lived for this. I lived for the sweltering lights bearing down on me, the cheers and the laughter and the dancing, I lived for the way the music seemed to possess your mind and make you lose control. I was infatuated with the way your heart seemed to thump in sync with the beat and how your mind could tune out any other turmoil that might be going on just so you could listen. It wasn't just music; it was a way of life. It was the reason I put up with as much crap life throws at me. It was probably to the point it was unhealthy. To be this obsessed, to let music take control of your life this way, my dad would have had my head above the fireplace for this. He would have called me reckless.

Maybe that was my favorite part of being in the band. Maybe it was one big 'fuck you' to my dad even if we didn't talk anymore. Maybe that's what made this whole thing great.

And now you sound like an idiot Eren. Stop thinking and let yourself go.

I pounded away on the drums blinking past the sweat that stung my eyes. It poured down my face leaving me sticky and slick and feeling disgusting. Okay, so I didn't enjoy the sweating. I could live through that though. It was just one thing I had to deal with and when I focused hard enough on what I was doing I hardly felt it. I had shed my shirt a couple songs ago and it lay in a sweaty heap behind me which made it a little more bearable. But these god damn pants though….

Hopefully I have enough energy to take a shower after this. Too many times I had come home from a gig just to pass out on the couch. The smell of my body the next morning had me gagging and rushing to the bathroom for a scalding hot shower hoping I could at least burn the stench off.

"Moaning my name won't change a thing," Mikasa bellowed into the mike, her voice carrying across the room. In all honesty Mikasa was probably the only reason we were this well known in our town. Not because she was really good at getting us gigs and managing our money, but because her voice was just that powerful. It was deep and 'sensual' as Jean had described it once. She seemed to have the ability to grab a hold of your being and keep you there until she was done with you. Afterwards you could still feel its affects. That's just how it was.

"This isn't love, I don't want you."

Sweat poured down my back as we ended the song, the sense of loss already growing in my gut. We didn't know when we'd get another gig; we just did shows when we got the chance. If I could I'd be on stage every other night preforming.

Exhaustion finally hit me when the adrenaline rush had worn off and the band was seating at the table with their drinks. I slumped against my best friend Armin, our keyboard player, and moaned softly. I could sleep here. I could just fall asleep against Armin and make Jean carry me out into the van.

His nose crinkled in a way that was far too adorable. "You smell gross."

"Well you don't smell like a bushel of roses either, man," I retorted, feigning offense. That was a lie. Armin was sweaty yes, but he didn't really smell. It was something I was jealous over, because right now my deodorant was fighting tooth and nail to keep my own man stink at bay.

Jean, our guitarist, rolled his eyes at us before giving his boyfriend Marco a small kiss on the cheek. Marco blushed and fiddled with the strings of his bass a little more before putting it back in the case. They were a newer couple, still in the stages of cupcakes and sweet talks. It would have been sickening if I hadn't been a little jealous. I was still a little sour after a break up with my girlfriend a week ago. She just up and left me without giving me a reason and completely cut contact with me.

My sister nearly killed her for it.

"I just talked with the owner of the club," Mikasa said walking over, she fixed her sweaty grey tank top before continuing, "Hanji wants us back not next week but the following one. I guess we made quite the impression on our audience and she feels like she'd get more customers if we played every other weekend."

"Sounds great," I said taking a swig of my beer. It was more bitter then the stuff I usually drank, and with a frown I realized that Jean must have gotten the drinks while I was in the rest room. Count on him to get me something bland.

Armin took it from my hand and took a dainty sip before his face screwed up in disgust. He turned the stink eye on Jean, "You got that shit again?"

Horse boy just shrugged, "It tastes good."

Armin faked a gag and grabbed Mikasa's fruity drink to wash down the taste. I just rolled my eyes at him.

"Stop stealing our drinks," Mikasa scolded, taking her away possessively, "just go get your own."

"No, the bartender likes to flirt with me."

"The blonde one? He's cute." Marco said. "What's so bad about him?" Jean didn't even pretend to feel jealous over that, instead he nodded with agreement. Personally I wasn't all too attracted to him. His eyebrow game was far too strong and I wasn't into men who looked like they took steroids.

Armin muttered, "It's not him that's the problem, it's his friend. The one with the scruff. He tried to grab my ass."

I finished my drink, stood up, and stretched, "I'm going to go grab another beer, you want me to grab you something Armin?"

"Whatever Mikasa got, it tastes good."

Jean coughed, "Gay."

"Shut up."

I was drunk within the next hour. Jean and I had our arms slung around Armin, laughing at the face he made when he tried Marco's drink (Armin wasn't really much for alcohol, he was pretty picky). I hadn't felt this good in a while, this okay. No worries, no frustration, the bill for the rent seemed to disappear from my mind and I felt myself growing more and more relaxed. It wasn't like being on stage, up in front of a crowd was exhilarating and wild and everything felt free. This just felt calm and languid.

And I blame it on the alcohol for finding the man in the crowd so attractive.

I'm not going to deny it, I'm as interested in men as I am woman, and there's just something about the way a guy moans that gets to me. Right now there was nothing I wanted more than to hear him scream.

Sweaty black hair clung to his face and his grey eyes were half lidded and he sipped his drink gingerly. A band shirt with holes and cuts that almost that exposed nearly all of his torso clung to him like a second skin. Even from here I could see the faint outline of muscles in his arms and already my pants were feeling a little tight. And I'm not going to lie; the black skinny jeans he was wearing made his ass look insanely delicious.

He was short, almost everyone (including some of the woman, though I'd blame that on incredibly outrageous stilettos) towering over him. I wasn't the only one interested. A few gangly men with leather jackets and ripped pants had been eyeing him like a piece of stake. He didn't spare them a glance though, not even when one sat next to him. He had the guy nearly crying in pain with a kick to the groin after the man had tried to grab his junk. No one sat next to him after that. He seemed to prefer it that way.

I had been watching him for a while, drunk enough not to care that it might seem creepy and clear headed enough to notice the sly glances he shot my way every once in a while. He was currently dancing with a guy who had pretty much just dragged him out on the dance floor. I could tell he wasn't having fun, and the way the man was bumping his hips against his ass made him grimace every single time. I just watched though, finding myself smiling at his obvious discomfort. His storm grey eyes locked on mine and he mouthed, "Help me." I found myself standing up and telling the band I was going to dance. They didn't even spare me a second glance before teasing Marco for spilling his beer over the front of his shirt.

Our eyes only left briefly when I was in front of them, taking the smaller man by the shoulder and pulling him away before looking at the obviously pissed off man, "Mind if I steal your partner?"

"Don't even bother asking him, he was a horrible dancer," his voice was deeper than I expected it to be, and it sent a thrill down my spine. I laughed at the offended look on the man's face as he took me by the hand and pulled me farther onto the floor.

"You've danced right?" He asked me, raising a thin eyebrow.

"I wouldn't have come to save you if I didn't."

He smirked, eyeing me with amusement. "Well then, do you dance well?"

I spun him around so his back was to me, yanking him closer to me by his hips and leaned down to whisper in his ear, "Why don't you find out for yourself?" He laughed, a throaty and deep one that had me grinning in turn. We danced, swaying to the music, and grinding against each other in a way that probably could have us kicked out.

After a moment he chuckled, "You don't disappoint."

I laughed, running my hands up his sides as he swayed his hips seductively. He turned around then, grabbing the front of my shirt and standing on his tiptoes so he could talk in my ear, "You want to come to my place tonight?"

I normally wasn't one to take anyone to bed, but the way his voice practically purred and how seductive he stared at me at that moment had me wanting to rip off my clothes then and there. I blame it on the alcohol. I'm never this way.

"Show me the way," I told him.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me through the crowd, shoving his way through and only smirking at the dirty looks he got.

"I'll rent us a hotel room," he told me as we got into his car, he started it up and immediately turned the heat on to warm up the chilly air, "As hot as you are I've woken up to one too many stalkers standing at the foot of my bed."

I just laughed, putting my arms behind my head and thanking whatever god there was that I always kept a condom in my wallet. Mikasa was actually the one who put it there after a pregnancy scare with my ex. That was definitely something we didn't want to happen again. Mikasa and I could barely afford our rent and to keep ourselves fed let alone another mouth.

Not to mention I'd be an awful dad.

"What's your name?" I asked him.

"Levi," he told me, "And I already know who you are, Eren. Your band's not half bad. Who came up with the name Destroy All Titans?"

"Armin, our keyboardist, and I did."

"It sounds okay."

I grinned at him, my chest growing warm at the compliment. I had a feeling that was the best I could expect from him.

The man behind the desk of the hotel didn't even bat an eyelash at us, just gave us the key after Levi paid and went back to whatever he was doing on his phone. As soon as we were in the hotel room I had Levi pressed against the door with my hands on his hips and my mouth on his neck. He let out a delicious whine – a sound that seemed far too high pitched for his voice – that made my heart jump.

"Shower, take a god damn shower," he moaned, "I'm not having sex with someone who smells like they just got done running a marathon. Disgusting."

I just chuckled, "Planning on it."

"Fuck," he swore when I bit down rather harshly at the juncture between his neck and shoulder, "I didn't expect to bottom tonight."

"I'd rather not have my first time taking it be with a stranger."

He smirked at me lazily, "I'm not a stranger, you know my name."

"Not happening."

I left then, hurriedly taking my shower and scrubbing my skin hoping to get the smell off. I didn't bother putting my clothes back on when I turned the water off, just dried off quickly and wrapped a towel around my waist. When I left the bathroom I found Levi leaning against the main door with a cigarette in hand. He put it out against the wall when he saw me, the smell of burnt wallpaper wafting past my nose. I didn't think much of it though and just stared at him with a raised eyebrow.

"You smoke?"

He smirked as he tossed his leather jacket to the side, "Habit I picked up from my teenage years."

I grabbed his shirt and pulled it off of him before attacking his chest. He hissed, threading his fingers through my hair and tightening them slightly when I nipped him a little too harshly. I knelt in front of him then; looking up at his face and watching him push back black strands from his forehead. Sultry eyes looked down at me expectantly.

"Are you going to stare at me all night or suck me off?"

I laughed and quickly undid his torn up skinny jeans, working them down his slim legs and finding myself more than pleased to see he wasn't wearing any underwear. I only paused to pull off the towel around my waist before I grabbed him, making him hiss and scratch at the door behind him. I stroked him slowly.

"Do something," Levi growled impatiently. And I took his dick down my throat. He wasn't small; maybe a little longer than me and not as thick but still big enough to make me gag when he touched the back of my throat. I sucked him gently, taking as much of him into my mouth as I could.

He moaned loudly then, fingers going from the door to my hair to hold me down on him. I gagged a little thanking whatever god out there that when Jean and I were together I had gotten used to this kind of rough treatment. Levi started thrusting and let out a high pitched whine that made my heart jump in my chest. God, he sounds like an angel.

I twisted my tongue around the tip of him, looking up to see his mouth slightly agape and eyes closed. I reached down to cup myself and moaned around his dick as I rubbed myself.

"If you keep doing what you're doing with your tongue, I'm going to come too soon," He warned, panting.

I pulled away, looking up at him with a smile, "Then get on the bed and make yourself comfortable."

I stood up then, watching him saunter over to the bed and jump on it. And god did he look amazing. His lean frame seemed even tinier against the black sheets and the way he spread his legs and rubbed himself make me ache. There was no way I was going to last long with him looking the way he does right now.

Levi leaned back and put his hands behind his head, "Well?"

I was over there in an instant.

"There's a bottle of lube in the pocket of my jacket," he told me, "I assume you brought a condom?"

"My sister won't let me leave the house without one."

He chuckled, "So you're a whore then."

I rolled my eyes, digging in the pocket of my jeans for my wallet and pulling out the small package, "No. I just had a pregnancy scare with my last girlfriend and I'm pretty sure it scared Mikasa more than it did me."

"Mikasa?"

"My sister."

"Ah."

I grabbed the lube from his jacket pocket and climbed back on the bed, leaning over him. He grabbed me by my hair and pulled my lips to his kissing me hungrily. I let my tongue invade his mouth flicking over his lightly making him groan into my lips. God, that was hot.

He pulled away panting, "Fuck preparation, I need you now."

I raised an eyebrow, "You sure? That might hurt."

"I've taken cocks a lot bigger than yours without prep kid, I'll be fine."

I smirked, "So who's the whore now?"

He smiled lazily, "I'm not even going to try to deny it. Nothing wrong with being a whore though."

"I never said there was," I told him, rolling the condom onto my dick. I didn't bother thinking about what being a 'whore' might entail. Infections were the last thing on my mind.

"God, just hurry up."

As confident as he sounded I still felt a little nervous entering him without preparation. Maybe it was because he looked so small and fragile, maybe it was because I wouldn't doubt his ability to snap my neck and toss me out the window if I hurt him too much.

I dribbled some lube onto my hand and stroked myself hoping that maybe I was slick enough that he wouldn't hurt. And when I pushed into him, despite him telling me not to bother with preparation, the pain on his face made me feel instantly guilty.

"Sorry," I apologized, kissing his neck and running my hands over his sides trying to be at least a little comforting.

"It's okay," he panted, "My fault. It's been a while since I've got laid. I just forgot how tight you can get after a while of no sex."

"How long?"

"At least a year, long enough to know I don't have any std's," he winced. "Fuck, that wasn't hot. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," I sucked at his collarbones making him groan.

After a moment he pushed himself against me moaning softly. I started thrusting slowly, watching his face for any sign of discomfort. All I saw was his face screwing up beautifully in pleasure. Sweaty strands of black hair clung to his forehead and cheeks and what little makeup was around his eyes smudged. And god did he look amazing like that. With every moan and sharp cry he made I found myself thrusting into him harder wanting to hear him sing.

"God, you look fucking perfect right now," I moaned, biting into his collarbone.

It didn't take long for him to cum after that, a few quick strokes of his dick and he was spilling into my hand. And with the way he tightened around me I came right afterwards, yelling sharply and growing rigid. My fingers dug into his waist as I collected myself making him moan softly before I collapsed beside him.

He panted, face red and fingers shaking, "God, that was good."

"You're welcome."

"Don't get cocky brat, I said it was good not the best I've ever had."

I just laughed, moving to get off the bed.

"Don't you dare kid," Levi warned shooting me a glare, "I'm not fond of sleeping alone after sex. Stay until the morning and I might give you my number."

"Who's to say I want your number," I asked smirking, "Who's the cocky one now."

"Shut the fuck up and come back over here."

I sighed, laying back down and wrapping my arms around his waist pulling him tightly against me, "Mikasa is going to be so pissed when I get home tomorrow."

"Fuck Mikasa."

When I woke up I was alone.

That wasn't really a surprise. I had expected to wake up to an empty bed. What I hadn't expected was the note Levi has left me.

Had work, thanks for the lay.

-Levi

I just rolled my eyes and folded it up, sticking it in the pocket of my jeans when I finally got around to getting dressed. I looked at my phone, decided to just shoot Mikasa a text to ask her to pick me up instead of risking calling her only to have her bitch at me. Plus there's a really good chance she has a hangover and she gets fucking scary when she does.

I pulled on my shirt, left the hotel, and waited for her out front.