I wonder why I ever felt I had to work for L…maybe because I thought he could help me solve my problems after I helped solve his? Well, whatever it was, it was one of the smartest choices of my life. Even though I regret a few things, I think that if I was ever faced with it, I could accept death without feeling, a sense of great lose. I mean, a few mistakes here and there aren't something to dwell on forever, especially not in your last moments of life. I think, with the way I am now, I could even be ready for death to knock on my door any minute, with a warm, welcoming smile on my face.

I was 16 when I first heard about the Kira case. I was intrigued. I wanted to find L and whoever else was working on it and help out as well but I knew that wasn't possible with the way I was living now. I could barely keep my head above water as it was. My parents "died" when I was 14 and ever since they left, I've been living on my own in a small apartment on the east side. My bills were skyrocketing and the power company had sent me several notices about shutting off my electric. I had to find another job soon…or who knows what will happen. My only sister, Bre died on the eve of her first birthday. Doctors said she had caught the common cold and her young body couldn't put up a big enough fight. She went cold within a night of contracting it. I guess I don't regret not knowing her. I hated her for all it was worth even though I tried to act like I didn't because, frankly, I would only get abused that much more. My mother, even when she acted like she cared, did nothing for me except put me down or beat me. She used to scream at me about how worthless I was and how I would never amount to anything. Oohhh how wrong she was.

When we first moved to Japan I thought it would be a new beginning but as our lives here started, I began to realize that it was just the beginning of the end. Her end. We moved in to a small 3 bedroom house with my cat. Up the road a little bit was a small apartment where a young man who would proved to be the end, lived. He was her undoing and my unraveling. Before I knew it, my mother was sneaking off to see him and within 2 weeks, he had moved in. after enduring 3 years of him, my wrists becoming steadily more scarred, I decided it had to end. I walked into the small, cramped kitchen where I had cooked all my own vegetarian meals for the last 3 years and 3 weeks and grabbed a small steak knife. I slid around corner after corner, the knife gripped firmly in my sweaty palm. I came to the last corner, the corner, which behind it, was the door to my mother and her "lovers" room. I was blind with rage and when I flung the door open, my mother was sitting on the edge of her bed, sobbing uncontrollably into her pillow. Personally, I never really had human emotions like pity or guilt. Especially not guilt. I never felt bad for anything I'd ever done. Sure I might have regretted some things, but I never felt guilty for my actions and I never really cared.

She looked up at me with tears In her eyes and let out a wail of grief. She was pregnant. Shit. I retracted my knife and pivoted on my heel, leaving the room indefinitely. 9 months came and went and for that time the abuse increased. When the baby arrived, they named her Breonny after some African chick. I didn't care and I had decided, without room for appeal, that I hated that child. I wanted her dead. I wanted her out of my already horrible life. The very next week after the child was born, she came home with my mother and after Bree was asleep, my mother rose to her feet and slapped me across the face. I didn't feel the sting of it anymore. I was numb. That's why I was able to cut so deep, so thorough. My tormentor stood up straight, crossed her arms, and proceeded to tell me just how useless I was. "You're a waste of space! Why don't you just leave already? I'm tired of being used by a useless freeloader of a child! I have a new child, a good child! One I know who will actually listen to me and one that will be better than you which shouldn't be too hard now should it? You were a mistake and this time I've got one that will actually be worth something! She won't be a failure. Why don't you just go die already?" that night I realized that she was right. About the leaving part at least. Maybe even about the suicide but I'd think about that later. I sure wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of finding her daughter dead at long last.

The night after my sister's death I decided that, in her state of a weakened mind, I would take my chance and eliminate my torturers. I walked home and thought about how best to get rid of the evidence but just when I thought I had everything figured out, a approached my house and unlocked the door. The house was empty except my room. That was the only thing left. They had left without me and even had the nerve to leave my room untouched. That bitch. That night I went out, stole a random red 1969 Chevy SS Camero that I found sitting outside a videogame store, went home, and packed up my few belongings that I needed and left. The car was AMAZING! It was mind-blowingly fast and turned on a dime! I wonder who it really belonged to…? Probably some old guy looking to pick up prostitutes or something. I parked my awesome new find outside of an old crumbling church building that had black eating its way up the walls, half a semi-truck was burned and melted in what was meant to most likely be the main hall. Perhaps the truck crashed and set everything on fire..? It didn't really matter…this is where I was going to stay until I could find somewhere else to go I guess. I unloaded my five large boxes from the back of the car and set them on the ground next to the passenger door then crawled in the back seat with a pillow and a small blanket. I curled up in a tight ball and drifted to sleep thinking about where I was going to go from here and how I was going to get there.

I woke up the next morning, not in the backseat of the red Camero I went through so much trouble stealing, but on the cold floor of the church, ropes tied around my arms and legs. Damn, I just HAD to be a heavy sleeper…I wonder who tied me up anyways. I stole a glance around and saw the car sitting about 10 feet from me, my boxes of clothes and personal items were strewn all over the ground and, in the case of my purple bra and studded converse, were dangling from the side of the passengers side seat. On the other side of the car, a pair of booted feet was just barely visible. "Hey what do you think you're doing going through my things? What do you want and WHY am I tied up!" I yelled, anger pumping through my veins. "Don't even TRY to steal my car asshole!" I added, just for good measure.

I watched the underside of the car as the feet started to shift as my assailant emerged from the side of the car to face me, the air quickly filling with the smell of cigarettes. His brownish-red hair hung over his goggles so I couldn't get a very good look at his eyes but hey appeared to be a dark blue with golden flecks near the center. He wore dark jeans and a white and black long sleeve shirt which was barely visible except for the sleeves due to his fuzzy white vest he wore. A cigarette hung loosely from his mouth as he pointed a gun at me and stared intently. In my opinion, he was deadly hot, but he didn't seem to notice my staring as he began to speak- well yell…

"What? ME stealing YOUR car? How about the other way around hun? I was on my out of the game store after buying L4D 2 when you drove away with my car!" he seemed pretty mad so I decided not to try and lie my way out of it. He ranted on and on about his new game while I worked on untying the ropes behind my back and half an hour later, I succeeded. Being careful not to let him see me, I wriggled the ropes away from around my legs and arms. He stopped mid sentence and jammed the gun in my face as he spoke. "…and why did you steal my car?" I froze, speechless. He was going to shoot me, I just knew it. For the first time in 9 years, a tear rolled down my cheek and burned a blazing trail of weakness down my face. this seemed to shock him a bit and he lowered his gun.

He turned away and rested his face in a black gloved hand. I couldn't see what he was doing but I used this as an opportunity to conquer my fear and get up. I yanked his gun from its holster but it was attacked to a chain which was tightly secured to his pants. I tugged harder as he jerked back to face me and the chain snapped. I quickly raised the gun and pointed it shakily at his chest. " Yes my car! I stole it fair and square! You shouldn't have left the keys in it if you really wanted it!" another tear rolled down my cheek and even though I wasn't really scared or killing him or anything the emotions from the last couple of years that I had shut away, making myself numb, had welled up and began flooding out through my eyes. The tears silently cascaded down my face and my hand shook more violently than before but I kept it firm as I could. "n-now I'd like you to leave before I have to shoot you. I have lots of work to do today and honestly cleaning up your blood would take a lot longer than I'd like. I'm not a very patient person."

His hands rose in the air and his chest heaved in and out in little spurts. His hands traveled up until he removed his goggles, placed with on top of his head, and folded his hands behind his head. It took me a minute of watching his chest go in and out oddly before I noticed he was laughing, actually laughing at his predicament.

"you won't do it." He chuckled. "I know you won't. you can't now can you?" he was tempting me, taunting me.

"and why wouldn't I? Survival of the fittest babe." I scoffed at him and pointed the gun to him head and pulled the trigger. A sound of thunder filled the room. "easier than I thought" I murmured to myself, eyes still closed. I didn't dare open them. I didn't want to see the blood.

I had always had a weird attraction to blood. I thought it was delicious, alluring, sexy, but if I saw how quickly I blew his brains out I'd be rather disappointed with myself. I liked to make people suffer like I had suffered in the past. I liked watching the pain in their eyes and liked hearing them scream. I liked watching the blood pour from where ever I had cut them or shot them or stabbed them. But most of all I liked the feel, the scent, the taste of the blood. Each person was different. I'd never killed anyone before but I'd hurt them badly, nearly bled them to death and left them to die. So I guess I did kill people before but I never stood around to watch it. I wondered if it was like my old teacher had said after he saw a man get shot in the back 3 times during a failed attempt to rob a bank. He said "you can see everything go numb in them, their limbs go weak, and you can see the light leave their eyes." Even if I had killed, I wouldn't care. Like I said, I liked their blood. Every person's blood had a different taste, scent, and sometimes even a different feel. Some people were sweet, like they always ate lots of candy and sweets like L's was when I helped bandage up his grazed arm. Some was bitter, like Light's when it was splashed all over me after he had been shot 9 times. I guessed Light's blood was sour because of what he ate and how he always felt. Some was…my mind strayed as I began to think what my last victims' blood tasted like. I wonder…? I opened my eyes.

The man was still standing in front of me, a smirk clearing plastered on his lips. I hadn't shot him. Damn. I had somehow shot over to the side of his chest, the hole in the wall where the bullet hit still smoking profusely. I looked down to the ground in embarrassment when I noticed a small, steady drip of blood falling onto the tan, cracked tiles of the church floor. His blood. The bullet had grazed his arm and left a dripping cut on the edge of his upper arm. I stuffed the gun in my back pocket and walked up to him, barely aware or where my feet were taking me. I wretches his arm up and examined it carefully. I looked up at his face and he seemed just as surprised as I was by my actions. I focused back on his arm and wondered, again, what his blood would hold for me. I bend my head low to meet the cut and stuck my tongue out ever so slightly. My mouth cupped itself securely over the wound and I let the blood flow onto my awaiting taste buds. He tasted like candy! Just like L and Mello had except this man's blood was a bit bubblier like that of a half flat can of soda. I kept my mouth firmly pressed to his arm and my tongue traced the edges of the slice.

A drop of crimson dripped down the corner of my mouth as I released him and looked up. the cut had stopped bleeding and I ripped a piece of my blanket around it so it wouldn't get infected. He stared down at me in awe while it seemed like he was internally fighting a battle of whether he should say thank you or not. I guess in the end he settled on not because he blushed and simply wiped the blood from my mouth with his sleeve, directing his gaze to the tiles rather than at me all the while.

"Heh…quite the little vampire aren't you? That would explain it wouldn't it? Or are you just like Beyond? Like the taste of others blood, their screams, their pain…" he trailed off and I thought about how appealing this Beyond person was starting to sound. He or she was like me…they understood the thrill of another's blood and the ecstasy you feel when their cries pierce your ears.

"yes…I do." I said in a hushed voice, absently staring at his wooly vest. "I like blood, others pain…their screams…," I sighed and looked up at the man, "do you seriously know someone like me? I'd really like to meet them…please?" I stared into his eyes, hopeful.

"to be truthful I don't exactly know him personally…," his voice got smaller and it was more like he was talking to himself rather than me now, " I wonder if L knows…?"

I cut him off briskly. "you know L?" I perked up at this knowing that if L was familiar with Beyond, I had a chance to find him or her.

"uh…yea…do you?" he eyed me suspiciously as he spoke.

" yes of course! He was my first…well you know." I shyly dipped my head and blushed. I assume the man thought I was talking about sex judging by the way his face contorted with embarrassment but in fact I was trying to say he was the first person to ever take away my razor blade and wipe up the blood.

" I guess I never really thought L ever got any…I always thought of him as a virgin…" he scratched his head awkwardly and stared me in the face. "so what brought you two…together? L never really comes out of his room except for when he goes out for a walk or sweets late at night."

"Ugh I didn't sleep with L…we just met before that's all. I worked at a sweets shop downtown and he popped in and munched some strawberry cake and we talked about random things and three boys named Matt, Mello, and Near. He said they were in league to succeed him and when I asked what they were to inherit he told me he was L. that night, he left without saying a word and I walked to the nearest park, pulled out my razor blade, and started cutting as deep as I could without hitting another vein. I guess he followed me and he took it and cleaned me up. Then he walked off. Haven't seen him in…probably going on 2 years" I sighed as I realized I was telling my story to a complete stranger.

"Sounds like him…" he stared at the roof dreamily and sighed much like I had.

"You gay or something bud? Or are you bi like me?" this snapped his attention back to me.

"Well yea I'm bi but I never would have guessed you were…and no I don't have any feelings for L." he stared at me as though he was looking for something to prove I was bisexual. When nothing came up he looked back at the roof and sighed again. "He seriously talked about me huh? Well that's a first" his voice barely above a whisper.

"That settles it then. Your Matt right? L told me about your thing for video games." I cocked my head to the side as my eyes traveled from his boots to his goggles. I have to admit, he had a pretty nice body.

"Indeed. And you must be RR. Heard you disappeared from the Wammy's and your one of the very few who have actually met L in person. Even I haven't. Tell me, what does it stand for? Your letters I mean." curiosity bubbling in his eyes.

"Rue Rigescent. Rue meaning to feel sorrow or regret and Rigescent meaning to go or be numb." I told him the truth behind my odd name. I had a real name…at some point. I can't remember it well but I remember my first name…Alyssa. I hated the name and when my mother left, I named myself something new, something fresh. Before she departed for good, she had left me, for an entire year, at the Wammy's House, an orphanage for prodigy children. They asked me my name and that's what I told them. That's how I met L. I had picked up a job at a local sweets café and my life went to shit from there. When my mother came back she stole me away from Wammy's and I was forced to quit my job. From there out I decided I was going to be called RR and I didn't care what people thought about it.

"Rue huh? Suits you I guess. So you're a cutter? That would explain the razor I tossed earlier." He mused nonchalantly.

"You ditched my razor? You asshole!" my voice cracked and I flushed with anger at my own weakness at the moment.

Matt laughed hysterically, clutching at his stomach as a tear rolled down his cheek and his arm began to bleed again. "Ow damn it! Ha that was hilarious! You know you're a pretty confusing girl Rue." He chuckled lightly as he re-bandaged his arm but failed epically as it slid down his arm and crumpled on the ground.

I stared at him, my eyes nearly popping out my head in confusion. I ducked down and grabbed the piece of blanket, re-tying around his arm but not before licking the blood off it quickly. "How am I confusing?" Damn he was cute when he laughed.

I stared at him expectantly for a long time before he realized he was supposed to explain himself. "well, for starters, when you told me how L helped you when you were cutting, you seemed like you hated cutting but it was an addiction. But when I said I tossed your razor, you got totally bent out of shape like I killed your cat or something" I grimaced at the mention of a cat. I hadn't thought of him since she left. I wonder what happened to Zeyphr. He was the best cat I ever had and the only one. A small lanky cat with a twisted nub for a tail, as it was cut off by previous owners, huge green eyes and completely onyx black fur that seemed to shine in the moonlight late at night. That cat was the only thing I ever cared about in my whole life save for the Wammy's house.

As if on cue, a pair of warm, stripped arms wrapped themselves around me, the gloved hands resting on my hips, pulling me into his chest. Matt smelled like cigarettes, as he appeared to be somewhat of a chair smoker, and of some sort of sugary drink, possibly Mt Dew. I looked up at him and he was already looking down at me. I was pretty tall myself so he was only a half an inch taller than me or so. "Why are you…?" I tried to ask but I couldn't seem to form the rest of my sentence.

"Because I think you need one right now…" he purred in a low, seductive voice.

"Heh well aren't you cute?" I laugh a bit as the half drained cigarette falls out of his mouth and he coughs in embarrassment, his face flushing a slight pink. I snuggled my face into his vest and sighed contently. This was, after all, the first time I'd been hugged by anyone since Wammy's House.

Back at the Wammy's House one boy, by the name of Mello, warned everyone to stay away from me. He told them all I was dangerous, crazy, malicious. Most listened and kept a wide birth whenever forced to confront me, all except one; a boy with silvery white hair, and grey, numb eyes. He was smaller than I, maybe even by half a foot, but he was the first one to ever show me kindness in this world. He was the first one to hug me and tell me I'm worth more than what my mother said. We became close friends and soon everyone else seemed to become just as relaxed as he was. Eventually I learned that Near and Mello were rivals and Mello, who began all those rumors about me, had developed a slight inferiority complex.

If I was any other little girl I would have felt sorry for him but being the closed off prodigy I was, I felt nothing. 2 weeks before I was destined to leave the Wammy's via kidnap, Mello had pulled me off my swing in the corner of the grounds, pushed me up against the ancient oak that help the ropes, and kissed me…hard. He bit my lower lip so hard it bled. He lapped up the blood, gave me a wink, and hopped over the fence and out of my life. I thought that would be the last I ever saw of him or any of his friends but being here in front of Matt, I was proven quite wrong.

As I clung to Matt's chest I couldn't keep my mind from imagining what life would be like with him always near me, always hugging me. I wondered what it would be like to actually date this man. Reacting on impulse I asked him. "What would life be like with you around I wonder?" I whispered, not realizing I had said it out loud or that he had actually heard me. I knew I didn't really want to date him, though he was cute and nice and all I just wasn't interested in anybody so different from me.

Matt hugged me tighter and with a sigh confessed, "you know somehow I can't say that I wouldn't like to find out but I don't think it would last very long."

I rubbed my hand over the length of his right arm. " why not?"

"Because in the end, you'd leave me for BB." He countered matter-of-factly. "Beyond had the same blood lust you do, similar past, can really understand how you feel, and he's even just as cute." He added the last part with a wink but looked away all the same.

"Maybe your right…" I examined the thought silently and slowly backed out of Matt's arms. I was sad, depressed, and now of all times, I wished I had my razor and someone to take it away again. My name seemed to fit me better than ever in those few moments that followed. Rue. It's true I regret turning down Matt, and I regret that he knew the truth as well as I did. I needed someone like me, someone like Beyond. Even Rigescent seemed to fit me; I was slowly going numb. The thought of loving a murderer with an insane bloodlust seemed impossible. Surely Beyond would never be the type of person to want a partner or a lover. He or she probably got their pleasure from rape and screams of pain. At that point, I thought nobody in the world would ever love me for who I was because, deep down, I was a monster. I wanted to kill, taste blood, and maybe my most questionable desire, I wanted to watch the light leave some poor unfortunate victim's eyes.

"Do you know where to find Beyond? Can you tell me about him or her or whatever? Please…I feel like I might find what I'm looking for if I meet them. Please…" I trailed off hoping he would answer, thinking deep down that he wouldn't. To my great horror, he did. Vividly.

" Well BB, or Beyond Birthday, is a mass murderer. He has tortured many more people than he lets on. The L.A BB case was just the murders. You see, BB likes hearing his victims scream, cry, and beg. He likes, maybe best of all, experimenting on them; testing different, twisted ways to die. He likes blood and sweets, particularly strawberry jam. He looks exactly like L as well. The hair, the face, the posture, the only differences really is that Beyond has shinigami eyes. Red eyes that can see ones true name and the exact time they will die. We think that he might just be acting like L to tick him off. B has that kind of personality-twisted and sarcastic. Beyond was next in line to succeed L when they were at Wammy's but B ditched out before he was forced into that kind of life. B decided to beat L at his own game by becoming the world's greatest criminal instead. He's still on the run…you'd like him. And yes, I do know where he is but I'd rather not sent you to him. He's a sadistic murderer so who knows what he'll do to you."

As he finished I was swelling with joy. He knew where Beyond was! Beyond sounded like everything I had ever, and will ever want. If I had thought L was charming at first, B was my God. "Please, I know you don't want to see me go willingly to a person like him but I think I need to in order to find myself. If you do, I'll consider giving you your car back!"

His eye twitches slightly. "YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO BRIBE ME WITH MY OWN CAR!" he screamed. His eyes went wide with shock just as my mouth fell open from his outburst. "I'm sorry…it's just that's what Mello tried to do and he ended up getting away with it." The red heads head snapped up. "I have an idea! Instead of going to BB right away, why don't you have a few short meetings with him via working with L and the task force on finding him! Of course you'd never tell them your true motives but all the same you could meet B and decide if you like him and what not. I was going to work with them in a few days anyways. How about tagging along? I don't think L will mind, in fact he'd probably love it!" He was so enthusiastic how could I have said no? Besides, it was a good idea.

"Alrighty! Let's go! Right now…as in help me pick my stuff up and get in the car so we can goooo!" I was suddenly excited to be working with the man who could take me to Beyond. I didn't, and still don't, understand why I felt such a need to find Beyond Birthday, but something inside of me told me I had to so I was going to, no matter how long it took.

We packed up my stuff in the backseat (I made Matt pick up my bras he threw around) and I jumped in the driver's seat and stuck the keys in the ignition. One click. Two. Three- the engine purred loudly and I revved it just for the sound it made but when I looked over to the passage side, the seat was empty and the door ajar. Fuck. "hey can we please get in our proper seats so we can blow this joint?" I called after him. No answer.

"Why don't you start first babe 'cause you're in my seat. My car, I drive." He purred in my ear. I shivered somewhat. Was it…pleasure? Oh god.

"make me" I cooed with a wink. He did just that. First, he took a minute to purse his lips and think. Then, on the spur of the moment, he picked me up and dragged me out of the car. I tried fighting back but he snapped up my arms and pinned then against the hood of the car, my body doing a backbend between the black racing stripes. I gave quite a struggle but to no avail. He hovered over me sturdily and refused to budge. Finally giving up, I relaxed and rolled my head back and forth on the hood of the car, waiting to be let go. It didn't happen.

Instead, he bent his body over mine, pressing his chest warmly against me and leaned close to my ear, whispering, " you know, I may be a nerd but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy a bit of a challenge. Just some food for thought hun".

Trying to dominate me, that bastard! Thinking quickly, I licked his bottom lip seductively and, using the stunned pause, rolled out of his grip and off the car. I gave a little laugh when he blinked and realized what happened. he smirked and so did i. I licked my lips cutely and grinned. "you taste pretty damn yummy whammy boy!"

" oh yeah?" he smirked devilishly.

"yeah" I smirked back and slowly walked over to him. I stood on my tippy toes and licked his lips again, this time sliding the edge of my tongue in the crease where his lips parted. He grunted ever so slightly and grabbed my wrist, pulling me in for more. I reached up and grabbed the back of his neck and dragged his face down to mine. his breath tasted like cigarettes and, I was right, Mt Dew. Just before our lips met officially, Matt's pants gave a rough jerk and we broke apart quickly. He blushed a entirely new shade of blood red, which I found hot as fuck, and i, feeling pity for the easily turned on gamer, opened the passenger side door and climbed in, not bothering with the seatbelt.

Matt followed quickly in suit and we raced off into the morning light much quicker than I ever felt comfortable driving.

Not even five minutes down the road however, I burst out laughing, re thinking our earlier predicament. Matt looked over at me skeptically. "you looney or what over there?"

I shrugged my shoulders "I was just remembering how cute you look when you blush". I gave a cute smile for reassurance and he seemed to relax a bit. We were now entering the outskirts of a town opposite from the way I'd come. We came to a street light not 30 seconds later. He looked over at me blushing lightly. " you know, you've gotten a few tastes thus far yet im still in the dark about you." He looked curious as he studied my body head to toe.

"well then here!" I threw myself over the center divider and smashed my lips onto his. He immediately reacted and kissed me back gently at first, picking up heat and force as we moved. His tongue traced the edges of my lips and I could tell this was the first time he'd ever done it. it wasn't sloppy, but rather nervous and shy. I encouraged him as best I could and slid my hand up his thigh. He whimpered over so slightly. On his third run over of my lower lip, I opened up slightly and he hesitantly allowed his tongue to slide in. I greeted him with my own and just as my hand began traveling further up his pants, a loud honk behind us reminded us that the light had turned green, and everyone had places they needed to be. We slowly moved apart, the steam from our fiery kiss hardly visible in the glow of the morning fog belt beginning to disperse under the heavy rays of the sun. we both blushed heavily as matt hit the gas and we surged forward. From the passenger side seat, I could hear and clearly see the redhead panting heavily just as I was doing. " I um….you can let me out at the next gas station. Where and when should we meet when we go to L?"

He looked stricken. "I thought….well I assumed you'd be staying with me since you're a runaway with nowhere to go and all. Was I wrong?"

"well no…" I paused, thinking. "I just didn't think you'd let me. I don't want to be a bother anyways. I can find somewhere to crash. I always do."

"then no! you'll be staying with me. I live with Mello though…I hope that doesn't bother you. He can be a bit of a perv but if you don't seduce him like you did me, you should be okay." He smiled a bit. " you were a whammy yourself no? have you met Mello before?"

"No." I spoke quickly, not wanting to admit my previous relations with the blond for whatever reason.

"right then…here we are." We pulled up in front of a shady looking building, rotting from the outside and probably the inside as well.

'shit. I hope Mello doest recognize me. I bet he won't. I grew up and I changed my name. well, here goes' we parked, and Matt helped me grab my things as we headed inside via side door, matt taking care to bring his keys and lock his car this time. He knocked, once, twice, three times, and stood apprehensively. It creaked open eerily and a badly scared blond stepped Into view. He took a few second to look me over and looked back at matt.

"hey hey, matty! Finally brought home a chick! Was she playin' Zelda in Gameland or whatever too?" he chuckled heartily and stole a glance at my boobs partly exposed due to my low-cut tank top. I raised a brow at him and he winked in return.

"no" answered Matt, slightly irritated.

"then how did you meet her?" genuinely interested now.

"she stole my car…"

"I can't say I blame her! So did you fuck her or what?" Matt's face exploded into blood red again. I smirked as I watched Matt work himself into a panic. Mello, having apparently seen this many times before, shrugged it off. "well you better hope I don't get to her first!" and he winked at me once more before he stopped, his mouth dropping open slightly. Something in his head just clicked. Without another word, he swore fiercely before turning and walking back into the dingy house. Matt said nothing but rather, looking oddly confused, followed Mello, dragging me along with before I had a chance to make a break for it.

Once inside the house, I knew there was no way out without revealing secrets, and causing some serious drama. Mello, now standing in the kitchen door munching on a chocolate bar, looked me over, his brow furrowed in concentration. Matt, setting the last of my bags down, also began drinking in my appearance.

Mello knew. His eyes told me so in the way that he looked at me with milky hazed blinks. He ha already had the flashback of stealing my first kiss. Somehow though, I was slightly turned on by the scarred up and older Mello. He was, though the past would always be there, new to me. He wasn't the same kid that had tried to isolate me and ridicule me. He was someone I had met once, a long time ago, and has since then transformed into someone entirely new. I realized at this point, I was going to forgive Mello and start over. I flashed him a sly smile before walking over and holding out my hand. He did not shake it. he just stared at it like he was afraid it was going to bite him if he got close. He tried making eye contact and I allowed him. Might as well get it over with right? If the secret was going to come out, we might as well do it now.

"nice to see you again Mello" I flashed a knowing smile and he got it right away.

"not holding a grudge anymore R? that's new" he seemed slightly dumbfounded.

"I figured I might as well not waste time" I replied smugly.

"well you've certainly gotten hotter. Not that you weren't back then but I prefer you now a bit more. You finally developed, and quite a bit too." He was staring at my boobs; 38D cups held in with a black and white polka-dotted lace bra. I could tell from the hunger in his eyes that he was going to be trouble still, but I accepted it with complete openness, waiting for the inevitable interruption from Matt in 3…2…

"hey you guys know each other? Rue you said…" I felt bad now. Oops.

"yea sorry about that, I didn't remember him until I saw him. Mello, wanna tell him how we met?" I glanced over at the blond who was blushing for unknown reasons.

"I used to pick on her in whammy's…you know how I used to go for the cute ones. Making em' mad is fun" he pouted and looked at the ground.

'so now I was cute?' yikes. Feeling mischevious, I ran over to Matt and wrapped my arms around him. He looked down and smiled and I stole a quick but meaningful kiss. I pulled his ear my mouth and nipped at the shell, whispering so Mello couldn't hear, I said "he's not telling you the whole truth here Matty. Should I tell you?" I added the last part seductively enough for Matt to shiver and steal a kiss of his own. It was sudden and very out of character for him. still it lasted longer than expected and quickly heated up, only broken when a startling cough came from behind me. I jumped and knocked my lip into Matt's front tooth. I began to bleed and promptly sucked my lip in to clear the delectable syrup. Matt looked an inch from catching on fire.

"well i think you are a few hours away from losing your virginity man. Good job. But If you don't watch out, I'll steal her first fuck just like I stole her first kiss. What'd she tell you anyways?" Mello looked pissed off and was clearly challenging Matt to who could screw me first. Lovely.

"look just back off Mello. We don't have the right to be fighting over her like she's not alive. You can try anyways but its obvious she'll choose me. I'm not a first kiss stealing dick. And wait…what?" He finished with a gulp and twinge of regret.

" Matty, hasn't the past taught you anything? I always get the chicks and you always get the level-ups just like you like it. What does she matter anyways? One kiss from me and you'll be nothing more than the secluded hermit you are man. And yes I did have her first kiss. Right before I ditched whammy for the first time and right before I saved your sorry ass from the thugs. Your welcome by the way." Mello looked proud of himself, a grin sliding across his face. a fist came out of nowhere and knocked Mello into the floor face first. He got up swiftly and stood painfully still, emotional rapids forming in his eyes. "for her man? Really? What is so special about her? its always been bros before hoes Matt! Always! What the fuck has changed?"

"she…she isn't into either of us and she has her mind set on someone very special. I'm just trying to protect that and I don't care if it sounds sappy cuz' no one ever accused Mario of being sappy when he spent 30 years trying to save princess Peach from Bowser!" and for once, Matt was 100 percent serious in his conviction. Mello, however, stared with wide eyes for quiet some time, occasionally looking back at me for a split second, before replying.

"trying to protect..the person she chose? Matt that doesn't even make any sense! If you guys fooled around consentually then she obviously isn't very dedicated to her cause! Its proboly just a whim because she's lonely and wants to find a connection that isn't superfacial and she figured the best bet was someone with a similar philosophy and past right? That's what she told you isn't it? you're a whammy boy Matt and you should have figured it out long ago. She doesn't need someone with a similar hurting past like hers. She needs something new and caring so she can change and remove the hurt in her life as to move on. Haha I TOLD you I was smart when I want to be!" Mello added the last part with a smug, mocking grin that made me blush sorta. Question is: why?

Matt mulled it over for a minute before closing his eyes and pulling me close to him. "if you really want to meet Beyond I'll take you, but hearing what Mello just said, I have no choice but to agree with him and I know deep down you do to. So, if you still want to pursue your dream I have no problem assisting you because I think that it might be good for you but keep in mind that I have to intention of letting you in harm's way if I can prevent it. ok?" Matt kissed me lightly and I easily felt all the hurt and compassion in it. " I think I could really fall in love with you so stay safe for me, promise?" And cue the pleading smile.

"matt, you love her…?" Mello looked shocked and…fucking pissed. As expected.

"I might, who knows?" he chuckled and turned to walk away. Hurridly, I pulled him back to me and lunged forward to grab Mello by the front of the shirt. With a much force as I could muster, I smacked the two together their lips crushing the others in an awekward and somehow satisfying way. I felt like these two should really get together because they are obviously very close and share a very deep running bond that even the love of someone else couldn't break. these two have GOT to hook up before I leave and I'll make sure of it!