Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Vampgirl,
Happy birthday to you!

This story is dedicated to Vampanezegirl97 for her birthday! Isn't this awesome? SHE'S FIFTEEN! CELEBRATE!

*hands out champagne to everyone* YAY!

Anyway, if any of you find this fic hard to understand... um... well... um... basically... There's a big house and it has a long corridor. On one side of the corridor, there's a big room which was used for dancing on Valentine's Day, behind that, there's a room with a bunch of CD players, it's made for playing music, so that you can dance. A bit further away there's a changing room. DON'T ASK WHY! I just make my settings up randomly!


*Steve is being pushed into a big room surrounded by pictures of hearts by Darren and Larten*

Steve: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME!

Darren: Shhh! Be quiet! Wait a second…

Steve: *calming down* Why are you guys doing this?

Larten: It was not my idea! I would have preferred killing you, but Dead L E said today was a very special day…

Steve: Dude! Valentine's Day was YESTERDAY!

Larten: I know.

Darren: She didn't mean Valentine's Day.

Steve: Then… What DID she mean?

Larten: You will soon see…

Steve: But… What… Why… *Larten and Darren leave*

*Vampgirl97 is looking around a room, she looks confused*

Vampgirl97: The instructions on the map clearly say that I should go to the room with hearts if I want my birthday present… What does that mean?

Genie: *appearing out of nowhere* Look into the depths of you! You will find that the answer is already within you!

Vampgirl97: CHARNA'S GUTS? What the hell was that for?

Genie: Hey! I'm just doing my job! Now look inside the depths of you!

Vampgirl97: NO AND NO AND NO AND NO! I don't even know how to do that!

Genie: Fine! I'm just trying to help… *disappears*

Vampgirl97: Ummm….. Could it be… The room we had the Valentine's Day party in? Could be… I guess…

*Back in the other room, Steve is pacing up and down nervously*

Steve: AAAAAH! What's so special about today? It isn't… OH GODS! NO! IT CAN'T BE! Is it… International hit-Steve-Leonard-also-known-as-Leopard-with-a-3-inch-stick Day? Does that even exist?

Genie: *appearing* I don't think so.

Steve: Really? And where did YOU come from?

Genie: I just appeared! But fine… I'll leave. *leaves*

Steve: Whatever this is, I need to find a way of escaping. Quick!

*Back at where Vampgirl97 is*

Vampgirl97: *to herself* Hmm…. Oh look! There's a secret compartment in the map! If you pull the ribbon, a piece of paper comes out! *reading the paper out loud*

"Go to the room of wardrobes first,

Count to three,

And prepare for the worst,"

Vampgirl97: *laughing* That must be one of the worst clues ever! She's talking about the changing room, duh! *runs off to the changing room* Alright then… Umm… I was meant to count to three… 1… 2… 3!

Dead L E: *jumping out of a wardrobe* BOO!

Vampgirl97: *sarcastically* Wow. That was definitely the best present ever. And that "boo" was so scary.

Dead L E: Shut up. That's NOT your birthday present! I just came to give you these. *Hands out blood red dress and ruby red earings*

Vampgirl97: What? Is that my present? It's nice but… I don't know many places where I can wear that sort of thing…

Dead L E: Just put it on!

Vampgirl97: Okay, okay, fine! Wow! The earrings look like drops of blood!

Dead L E: I made them!

Vampgirl97: Really?

Dead L E: Yes, but don't tell my brother. I stole them from his precious rock collection.

Vampgirl97: *puts the dress and earrings on* Okay then. Bye!

Dead L E: Wait!

Vampgirl97: What? I need to get my birthday presents!

Dead L E: You forgot your shoes…

Vampgirl97: Oh yeah… But I don't WANT bright red high heels!

Dead L E: I'm not going to give you bright red high heels! I'm going to give you these. *gives Vampgirl97 the awesomest shoes in the entire universe*

Vampgirl97: *putting them on* Thanks! But I have to go now, and if you keep me back any longer I'll bite your head off like I did with Debbie.

Dead L E: *shudders* Okay, bye!

*Vampgirl97 walks out of the room, muttering to herself*

Vampgirl97: Hmmm… Where did we have our Valentine's Day party?

Genie: *appearing* Look inside the-

Vampgirl97: SHUT UP! I'M THINKING! *bites the Genie's head off*

Genie Number 2: *appearing out of nowhere* Why did you have to eat him?

Vampgirl97: He annoyed me. I'll do the same for you if you're not careful.

Genie Number 2: *disappears*

Vampgirl97: Good riddance! Now… Where was I?

*behind the Valentine's Day party room*

Larten: Where is the compact disc Dead L E mentioned?

Darren: You mean the CD?

Larten: Yes. Why is it called a seedee?

Darren: It's a CD. It's called a CD because the first letter in compact is a C and the first letter in disc is- Why am I even explaining this?…

Larten: I do not know. Where is the compact disc?

Darren: Oh… Right. I think she gave it to you.

Larten: No, I clearly recall her giving it to you.

Darren: No. She gave it to you.

Larten: She gave it to you.

Darren: No. You have it.

Larten: I do not. She gave it to you.

Darren: She gave it to you.

Larten: No, she gave it to you.

Darren: I give up. *looks around* Oh look! The CD was right next to us the entire time!

Larten: *picks it up* Where should I put it?

Darren: Inside the CD player, duh.

Larten: *puts it in the CD player*

CD Player: BABY, BABY, BABY OOOOOOOOH!

Darren: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE DONE THIS!

Larten: MAKE IT STOP!

Darren: DON'T HURT ME! PLEASE! I'LL ADMIT THAT I HURT MY SISTER WITH MY TARANTULA ONCE WHEN I WAS SEVEN!

Larten: I HAVE KILLED PEOPLE BEFORE, BUT I DO NOT DESERVE THIS TORTURE!

*Where Steve is*

Steve: I KNEW THEY WERE TRYING TO TORTURE ME! I JUST KNEW IT! *runs around with his hand over his ears trying to find an exit and clearly overlooking the open door*

*Back to Darren and Larten*

Kurda: *comes rushing in*Why did you steal my Justin Bieber CD? *Larten and Darren continue to suffer and ignore him, so Kurda takes the CD out*

Larten: Thank you, I could have died.

Darren: I thought I HAD died for a minute there! This music is worse than the Lake of Souls!

Kurda: Don't be so mean about my Justin!

Darren: How did you know we had the CD anyway?

Kurda: Someone decided to replace my Justin Bieber CD with a Britney Spears CD. No prizes guessing who that was.

Darren: Vampgirl97? Nope… Never heard of her…

Kurda: But how… Ummm… Er… Okay… I'll just give you the CD, I don't like Britney Spears. *leaves*

Darren: Phew, that was a close shave!

Larten: You shave?

Darren: It's a figure of speech. Now… Let's see if the CD is the right one. *puts the CD in*

CD Player: HE IS A HUSTLER
HE'S NO GOOD AT ALL
HE IS A LOSER, HE'S A BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM
HE LIES, HE BLUFFS
HE'S UNRELIABLE.
HE IS A SUCKER WITH A GUN, GUN, GUN, GUN.

Darren: Wow! This actually pretty good!

Larten: Music nowadays is ruined.

Darren: No, it isn't. This is great!

Larten: I preferred it when music was actually music, not just words and…

Darren: THIS IS GREAT! NOW SHUT UP!

*Back to Vampgirl97, she's standing right in front of the door to the party room*

Vampgirl97: YAY! I figured out the clue!

Genie: *appearing* Thanks to me!

Vampgirl97: No… Thanks to me! How did you arrive? I thought I'd bitten your head off…

Genie: You did, but I grew it back. I am a genie.

Vampgirl97: Oh… How long does it take for you to grow your head back?

Genie: Five minutes.

Vampgirl97: Oh well, at least it'll buy me some time… *bites Genie's head off* Ummm… So I guess I should go inside now… *walks inside*

Vampgirl97: *hears criminal* Wow! It's my theme song!

Steve: *seeing Vampgirl97* You look… Amazing!

Vampgirl97: Steve! *runs up to him* I thought you were dead!

Steve: No… I'm not…

Vampgirl97: Of course you're not! But this is so amazing!

CD Player: *continues playing*BUT MAMA IM IN LOVE WITH A CRIMINAL
AND THIS TYPE OF LOVE
ISN'T RATIONAL, IT'S PHYSICAL
MAMA PLEASE DON'T CRY
I WILL BE ALRIGHT
ALL REASONS INSIDE
I JUST CANT DENY
LOVE THE GUY

Steve: *confused* What is this song?

Vampgirl97: Criminal by Britney Spears, it's my theme song…

Steve: What's it about?

Vampgirl97: Me and you!

CD Player: AND HE'S GOT MY NAME
TATOOED ON HIS ARM
HIS LUCKY CHARM,
SO I GUESS ITS OKAY
HE'S WITH ME.

Steve: They got that bit wrong! I don't have your name tattooed on my- *looks at his arm* Oh… Gods…

Vampgirl97: Yes. I tattooed your arm when you were asleep yesterday. Don't look at me like that! It's my birthday today…

Steve: it's your birthday?

Vampgirl97: Duh.

Steve: Doesn't it strike you a bit odd that you are in a room decorated with hearts, your theme song playing in the background and your crush brought back from the dead?

Vampgirl97: Yeah… I HATE HEARTS! Wait… *rips off one of the hearts* OMG! Someone drew fangs on the wall underneath the hearts…

Steve: AWESOME! I always loved fangs! It's a pity vampires don't have any. They look cool.

Vampgirl97: Yeah, but they aren't very practical.

Steve: Yeah.

*They listen to the music for five minutes (Criminal is playing over and over, as well as Breathless, Superman and Superstar by Taylor Swift) in silence*

Steve: Hey… Uh… Vampgirl?

Vampgirl97: Yeah?

Steve: Ummm… You look cool… and… There's… like… music… and stuff… So… I was wondering…

Vampgirl97: *irritated* Yes?

Steve: Will you… Dance with me?

Vampgirl97: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! YAY! YOU ASKED ME TO DANCE! OMG!

Steve: Wow! Calm down…

Vampgirl97: *dancing around the room* HOW CAN I CALM DOWN? THIS IS AMAZING!

Dead L E, Larten, Darren, Kurda, Genie and Genie Number 2: Aaaaw…. They're such a cute couple together…

Dead L E: I have to film this and put it on YouTube!

Vampgirl97: But…

Dead L E: I was kidding! Anyway, Steve would look too blurry, he's a half vampaneze!

Steve: Where did you all come from?

Dead L E: My fic, my rules. I appear whenever I want and anyway, I have something to tell you guys.

Vampgirl97: What?

Dead L E: This was meant to be a romance fic… But… I can't write romance…

Vampgirl97: That's okay, just let me kill the Genies, I'll feel better then.

Dead L E: NO! They're mine.

Vampgirl97: FINE! What are you going to do about it now?

Dead L E: I'm going to end the fic the moment you two kiss. That way, you guys can do whatever you want afterwards and no one will know!

Steve: *winks at Vampgirl97*

Vampgirl97: Okay… Wait, WHAT?

Dead L E: I'm just kidding! But I will end the fic when you kiss.

Vampgirl97: Like that's going to hap- *Steve kisses Vampgirl97*

THE END.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Steve kissed you... STEVE KISSED YOU!

Just so you know, Kurda wrote most of the romance. He's actually quite good! (It's a pity there wasn't much...) He thought it would be more romantic if you kissed Steve and not the other way round, but I was still mad at Kurda for playing Mistletoe in my room, so I did the opposite.

Love you guys!