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Disclaimer: So my disclaimers before have been extremely long and totally irrelevant to the story, so I deleted this one and replaced it with this one. "No."

A/N: This is my first D(dot)Gray-man fanfic, so I'm sorry if my characters are a bit OOC. This first chapter is mostly from Lavi's point of view, but in the next upcoming chapters it'll mostly be from either Allen or Kanda's points of view.

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Chapter 1-Soba and…food.

Komui was a known psychopath. For his birthday they had even gone so far as to buy him a yellow and black striped 'Caution' sign. The only reason why he didn't wear it was because he claimed that 'yellow just simply wasn't his color' and also that it 'clashed with his beret'. Everyone knew he was dangerous and always made an effort to stay away from him whenever he had a new 'invention'. Abomination was a better suited word for his creations. Komui always went to great lengths to test his new inventions…

"Lavi, I need you to do something for me." said Komui a smile spreading across his face.

"And what would that be?" said Lavi, his interest sparked.

"I need you to slip this into someone's food." said Komui pulling out a mysterious vial.

"Whose food?" asked Lavi cocking an eyebrow at the substance.

"Any two people of your choice," said Komui, but paused, "As long as it's not my Linalee-chan!"

Lavi grinned, already having two targets in mind, "It won't do anything harmful to them will it?"

"No," said Komui his grin widening, "but no matter what…YOU MUST NOT TELL THEM IT WAS ME."

"And it's clear?" asked Lavi pointing to the container in question.

"Yes, it's clear and odorless," answered Komui, "but you might want to hide anyways."

"And why is that?"

"Because it tastes like sh*t." chuckled Komui.

"Just what exactly is it?" asked Lavi suspiciously.

Lavi's eyes widened in awe and amusement as Komui whispered something in his ear.

His day had just gotten a little less boring.

"Oi! Moyashi, what did you do to my soba?!" blamed Kanda, "It tastes like-"

"Me? What did you do to my food?" retorted Allen.

"What's going on?" asked Linalee as she took her seat next to Allen at the cafeteria table.

"My soba tastes…funny." stated Kanda frustration clear on his face.

"So does my…food." exclaimed Allen too lazy to rename all the food he had just consumed.

"But I thought that Jeryy cooks all the food." said Linalee.

"He does." they both replied.

"So then why are you accusing each other?" questioned Linalee.

"Because…well…that's because…um," started Allen having already forgotten why he and Kanda had started fighting in the first place, "Uh, hey Kanda, why did you blame me again?"

"Che." was his only reply.

"So why don't you guys go talk to Jer-" said Linalee. She was cut off by a sudden movement in the corner of her peripheral vision. "Oh no you don't."

Her hand shot out and grabbed the thick, heavy material of a certain someone's coat.

"Ah! Linalee, I-I've been looking everywhere for you!" stammered Lavi.

"Oh really?" she said hoisting Lavi up by his collar, "You wouldn't happen to know anything about why Allen and Kanda's food tastes funny would you?"

Lavi knew that beneath her sugary sweet voice was a hidden evil that knew no bounds. Finding himself in this situation yet again, Lavi did the only thing he could do. He pulled out the best puppy face he could make. He looked at her apologetically, his lower lip quivering and his twinkling emerald eye begging for forgiveness.

"L-linalee-chan, you know that I would never do something like that, especially to my…er…best friends in the whole entire world." he said nervously.

He turned to look at the faces of his three best friends, their reactions went a little like this:

Linalee: Lavi, I know you did something and if you don't tell me what I'll tell Komui you raped me

Allen: I wonder if Jeryy has anymore food left over, maybe I could get some dango later…

Kanda: DIE!!!! Stupid Rabbit.

All color drained from his face after seeing Kanda's expression.

-What do I do?- thought Lavi -If this continues, I'm going to lose my head…literally-

Lavi eyed Kanda as he reached for Mugen, hatred and bloodlust in his eyes.

He gulped audibly. All three of them took it as a sign that Lavi did have something to do with Kanda and Allen's food.

In no time Kanda had already drawn his sword, placing the blade at Lavi's throat. Mugen glinted evilly.

"It's not my fault!" blurted Lavi, "Komui told me to do it! I had no choice!"

Well, actually that last part was a lie. Lavi had volunteered to do it, but he'd never let Kanda know that.

"What was it?" questioned Kanda, anger seeping into his voice.

-Komui told me not to tell anyone what it was- Lavi thought to himself, -but on the other hand, if I don't say something, Yuu's going to kill me-

"I-it was a potion!"

"What kind of potion?" asked Allen.

"U-ummmm…" stalled Lavi.

"What kind of potion was it?" growled Kanda.

"A…a LOVE potion!" he shouted.

Linalee's grip loosened in surprise and Lavi used this to make his escape. He ran out of the cafeteria, arms flailing like a maniac, leaving three stunned exorcists and a group of concerned and confused finders.

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! I think I might've made Lavi a bit too cowardly though. Sorry to all the Lavi fangirls out there. Later I'm thinking of adding some Lamui (Lavi x Komui) what do you think? I don't think there are enough of those out there and they've become my second favorite pairing.

P.S. I'm trying to make an amv for my friend's birthday but I need a good Yullen song. I was thinking of using 'I Hate Everything About You' by Three Days Grace, but that song has been overused so it wouldn't be as special, ya know what I mean? I was also thinking of using 'Gives You Hell' by The All American Rejects for a Yuvillen (Yuu x Lavi x Allen) but that one's for my other friend. If you have any good song suggestions for a Yullen, feel free to tell me.