More crack from long, long ago...enjoy!
EDIT: Oh my God, I just realized my mistake now. I wrote this back when the-shadows-have-magic didn't have an account, so halfway through the story it relapsed back to her other name...I fixed it now, sorry! And it changed paragraphs and cut things off awkwardly...I fixed it now, I promise.
It was a normal Allied meeting-well, as normal as they ever were. America was busy talking about his "amazing battle plan of awesomeness" when-
BAM.
Two 13-year-old girls randomly showed up on the table.
One of them, tall with short brown hair and hazel eyes, stood up and began squealing, grabbing her friend's arm. "Oh my god, it's the Allies!" Her friend nodded vigorously, stunned beyond words.
Russia cleared his throat. "Why are two teenage girls suddenly standing on the table?"
The brunette frowned. "We're the authors of this story! We're here to make this meeting awesome!"
England frowned. "How the hell are you even here? And what do you mean, you're the 'authors'?"
The other girl, short with blue eyes and light brown hair, rolled her eyes. "You're all in a story. Duh. And we can make you all do anything we want."
"Prove it."
The taller girl suddenly grinned. And everyone could tell nothing good could come from it.
A large pink monkey suddenly appeared on England's head.
"What the bloody hell?" He sputtered and threw it at France, who screamed (it was a manly scream).
"Toldja so!" She sang.
She seemed to remember something. "Oh! Since this is a story, you can call me…well for the ease of the readers, call me cake-error, and my friend is the-shadows-have-magic."
They nodded weakly.
A large container of pudding fell on France's head.
"Oops!" Cake-error exclaimed. She didn't sound the least bit surprised or sorry. "I'm sorry, I just don't like you very much. Despite the fact that we take French in school. And...well, never mind." A large container of peanut butter and Nutella appeared in her hand, and she grabbed a spoon that materialized from nowhere and began to slowly eat it.
Russia frowned. "You like Nutella and peanut butter? But isn't eating that much bad for you?" She ignored him.
France smirked. "Well, isn't someone being a little PMS-y?" Her only response was to throw the spoon at him.
The-shadows-have-magic whispered, "That's 'cause she is, you idiot." Everyone was stunned into embarrassed silence.
Cake-error sighed. "There are, like, no female characters in here! It's so sad..." She turned and shot an inquisitive glare at America, who had been standing there for the past few minutes in utter silence. "You're being awful quiet, aren't you?" She clapped her hands and a large sphere of blue light appeared.
"Aren't you supposed to snap your fingers?"
"I can't snap."
The giant light ball exploded and dyed everyone's hair crazy neon colors.
"What the hell?"
She shrugged. "I actually had no idea what that would do." She pulled out a large metal rod with a rubber tip from nowhere.
"What's that?" A hint of trepidation showed in England's voice.
"Oh, just the endpin to my cello." A cello appeared in her other hand, and she set down the jar of Nutella and peanut butter.
Cake-error went to sit down. Before she could actually fall, the-shadows-have-magic realized the lack of chair and clapped. France fell and landed with a loud "Oof!" on the ground, while his chair flew up and slid under Cake-error in the dead center of the table. England laughed rather loudly and the-shadows-have-magic looked at her hands with surprise.
Before she could play anything, the door opened and China stepped in. "Um…" He stared.
"Yao!" She shrieked, voice cracking slightly. She began to converse with him in Chinese.
"What is she even saying?" Russia asked. The-shadows-have-magic shrugged.
China nodded faintly and took his seat.
France frowned. "Hey, if there was an extra seat, why did you have to take mine?" She shrugged.
Silence reigned for a moment.
"This is getting boring!" Cake-error shouted. She pulled a metal tube from her pocket and pressed a button on it. A long beam of light erupted from the other end. It was orange.
Her friend let out a long appreciative whistle. "Didn't know they had orange lightsabers."
The Allies stared at it in shock. Russia tilted his head inquisitively.
Smirking evilly, Cake-error sliced a shelf in half and proceeded to destroy the conference table. Soon, all that was left were a bunch of pieces of wood and ash.
America said, "What the hell is that?"
Cake-error gasped. "Oh shit! Star Wars wasn't made until the 70s! Fuck!" She cursed and threw the lightsaber out the window, where it impaled a poor, innocent elephant topiary.
She intoned, "You saw nothing…Those weren't lightsabers, they were machine guns. Nothing happened at all." They blankly stared at her.
"Jedi mind trick?" The-shadows-have-magic whispered.
"Yeah."
They stood there, and then Cake-error declared, "I think it's best if we go bother the Axis now, ja?" She nodded decisively and spun around, disappearing. Her friend followed suit.
The Allies all looked at each other.
"…I think it'd be best if we just canceled the meeting, went home, and forgot anything happened." America said weakly.
"For the first time in your life, you've said something that made sense. How does it feel?"
"Just shut up."
Next chapter, we'll see the Axis!~
