It was relaxing to be back in his home country. Sure, he missed the constant thrill of danger that being the Sniper brings, but for now he's content with being Mick Mundy, if only for a few weeks. And one of the requirements of being Mick Mundy is to take care of his wife.
"C'mere miss, dinner time."
He hasn't thought of a name for her yet, he's gone for so long and he doesn't even think about it. Naturally he hasn't told anyone about her yet, if someone knew he'd been married to a kangaroo for 9 years...
Pellets clanged around as they fell into the food bowl, and Snipers wife hopped up to eat. Why did his parents think this was a good idea? Just because he isn't as "Aussie" as everyone else, because he can't find a wife, because he needs to "fit in." Sniper was certain that it was somehow racist against Australians to see that as fitting in. They expected grandchildren as well, how the hell do you impregnate a kangaroo?
A voice inside his head told him practice was the key. A professional with standards uses practice and has a plan and whatnot. To which he responds with; moral issues aside it is biologically impossible to impregnate a kangaroo. God when did he get such a fucked up conscious. But the Sniper will practice, just not on kangaroos. Maybe someday he'll get the chance to not be a pathetic virgin. He'd rather snuggle with his old and dying kangaroo though than spend a night with a $50 cheap whore like the Scout. He'll miss that kangaroo.
Three Days Later
Sniper placed his bouquet of flowers on Gracie's grave. Now that she's dead he decided it was time to give her a name. And a beautiful name it was, just like her. Unfortunatly, his parents now expect him to find a new wife. If he isn't fast enough about it this time they will pick for him, and there was a high chance of the Sniper being married off to another kangaroo. The problem was, who was he going to marry? Hot women avoid him like the plague, making it difficult to choose a worthy wife. He has spent his whole life living in a van and pissing in jars, that would limit his choices by a lot. He was also a mercenary, so he'd have to marry someone okay with that. He'd prefer his wife to be smaller than him, admire his skill, be much cleaner than him, and be cute at the same time. Seeing how the pool is so small, Sniper has to give up and add men to the list. Who says your wife can't be a man? No one, that's who.
And so his quest for a wife begins.
