A/N: This is my first fanfic, so please just try it. The story starts when Tobias is fifteen and a few days before the initiation ceremony, the first chapter is him on a typical night with his father, hope you enjoy!
Quietly, quietly I remind myself again. He could be here any minute, a single creak, the tiniest whisper could ignite him. He could manipulate anything into a sin, a sign of selfishness. 15 years of living under his roof, and he was still just as unpredictable, just as wild. A seething hatred spreads through me, like a fire burning my skin. I shut my eyes and remind myself once again, I am in Abnegation, hatred is an act of unjust bias, an act of my own thoughts. No, that is not allowed, especially under the roof of the Holy Marcus.
I creep quietly to the fridge, my bruised hand wrapping delicately around the stiff metal bar. I shudder, as stiff as the flick of the whip, the sharp fire sensation, then the pain. Oh, the pain, as it would spread through me. I open the fridge as the light blinds me momentarily, I squint and peer into our well-stocked fridge. I freeze as my fingers brush past the box of dry ice. Oh, now that is much much worse than the whip. It is a slower sensation, but that just makes if more painful. I can just see that wretched piece of ice pressed against my skin. I close my eyes and try to block out the image. My hands shake as I continue looking for that little square of bread. We aren't allowed to get anything more lavish than that. Bread, plain pasta, porridge, milk, cheese. Nothing more, that would be selfish.
The following events happen as if in slow motion. My elbow knocks against the back shelf and the rock hard cheese falls the poorly built wooden floor. Clank. That's all it takes. The sound of him being roused from his sleep. The creak of the bed springs, the steady footsteps on above, the belt being taken from the post, the heavy footsteps walking down the stairs. One, Two, Three, Four, Five. That evil glint in his eyes as he faces me. He slowly unwraps the belt, and purses his lips, "Now what would a little boy like you be doing up so late at night?"
I shudder, "Nothing father, I..I was just hungry."
"Showing hunger is a sign of selfishness, as is waking up your poor father in the middle of the night. This is for your own good", his voice echoes in my ears as I see the raise of the belt. I cringe into the wall and curl up into a ball. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, I have been through this dozens of times, it shouldn't affect me anymore. It isn't that scary, just a bit of pain. Maybe it really is for my own good. But it isn't, it is scary, it does hurt, and it certainly isn't for my own good.
Then the belt comes down and hits the skin, a burning pain, sharp, hot, and white spreads through me, starting from my thigh making its way through my body. For now, that's all there is, a sharp white pain. But tomorrow, it will start to bruise, and that would be yet another round of heart-stopping pain. Just endure it, it will be over soon. But it isn't. the lashes, the burn, goes on for 20 minutes, never stopping.
I limp back to my bedroom, curl into my bed. I have to get out of here, I need to be somewhere else. Anywhere else, just not somewhere where he can touch me. Then I will be safe, and there will be nothing to worry about.
