Title: Circles
By: L. Burke
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but some really bad jokes.
Summary: Brotherhood AU. In the midst of starting his greatest battle Dean Winchester finds the things worth fighting for.
Timeline: One shot. Contains possible spoilers and references the pilot, "Kids Are Alright," "Wishful Thinking" and finally T's story "Marked Time".
Characters: Dean and Caleb. Ben is mentioned.
Warnings: Just language.
Author's Notes: See end for notes.
Dean Winchester's life had always been about circles.
Diseases and inheritances passed down from father to son.
He closed his eyes and let the cool, fall breeze drift across his face. The night breeze carried with it the smell of fallen leaves with the softest hints of wood smoke. Fall had always traditionally been about the ending of one cycle and the beginning of a new one.
Somehow it seemed fitting.
That's the reason he was standing outside this building tonight.
He was trying to end a family legacy.
Amazing how getting confirmation you were a father could flip your world view on its head.
His phone vibrated, and Dean sighed when he saw the name of Caleb Reaves. With a shake of his head he flipped his phone open.
"Deuce, are you alright?"
Dean had to fight the urge not to laugh hysterically at that question. He hadn't been 'alright' in quite a while. If he even let that small weakness trickle through his rapidly crumbling façade he'd start crying and never stop. Not even the booze was enough to numb him anymore.
Instead he simply replied to his best friend, "I'm fine."
"Where are you?" Blunt as always, Damien was in full mother-hen mode tonight.
"Not at a bar."
He heard his best friend sigh. "I didn't ask that did I?"
"You didn't have to."
"Deuce…"
"Sam needed the car. I had something important to do tonight. I walked to town." Dean ran a hand over his face. God, he was tired. It was that soul weary exhaustion that sunk deep in to your bones and ate away like cancer.
"This something important doesn't have anything to do with the picture that Lisa chick just sent you does it?"
"Yes," he replied softly. He fingered the picture of Ben in his pee-wee football jersey in his pocket. "It has everything to do with it. You remember the crazy case we were on with the bipolar teddy?"
"Yeah. You told me about it."
"I asked Sammy if he could wish for anything in the world what it would be." He pinched the bridge of his nose trying to fight the tears that were threatening to escape. "You know what Sammy's response was? He'd wish, not for a normal life, but Lilith's head on a platter- bloody." Dean looked up at Orion who was looking down standing guard from the sky. "When did Sammy become my father?" The next question was directed more at the heavens in general than his best friend. "When did I?"
Silence was Caleb's only response.
"You know what the worse thing about Hell is?"
"No."
"It steals your ability to trust yourself. You're aptitude to judge when you stepped across that invisible line." He jabbed at the tears that threatened angrily. "I'd remember the nights where Dad would drag himself home drunk off his ass after some hunt went straight to shit. This one night he stumbled in dead drunk and the look of disappointment on Sam's face was something I'd never forget. I swore to myself that night I'd never become my father. I'd in no way let that happen to me. That Sam would never look at me that way." Dean took a deep breath. "When did Sammy start looking at me like that, Damien?"
"I don't know." He heard his best friend sigh again. "Sammy never knew the John Winchester we did. Sammy only knew the Punisher and the functional off-duty alcoholic. He never knew the man that fanatically followed the Red Sox, or thought flag football was for wussies." Caleb paused for a moment, "Or the father that was prepared to knock down every doctor's door in the country to help his four year-old son find his voice again. By the time Sammy was old enough to know him, John had let too many hunts and secrets hollow the best parts of him out."
"Like Sammy," Dean muttered.
"Yeah, like Sam, and old Yellow Eye's plans for him," Caleb replied bitterly. "That's one thing I'll never forgive your old man for, letting that secret destroy him. There were people John could have turned to. All your old man had to do was open his damned mouth."
"That's why I needed to go out," Dean responded softly. "I need to take control and put the wheels back on this bus."
"Do whatever you gotta do, Man," Caleb stated quietly. "You know I'm there for you."
"I know."
"Since Sammy took off to meet Bobby."
Dean sighed again. "Sam needed the car because he's chasing Lilith again isn't he?"
"Yeah, I'm afraid he is," Caleb replied quietly. "How about I swing by town and pick you up? I hear the pee-wee football championships are this weekend. There's supposedly this great linebacker that's the terror of quarterbacks everywhere. I guess this kid is something to see on the field."
Dean chuckled. "The kids comes from good stock. He does his hard-hitting Marine grandfather proud. Loves ACDC too.
"Poor kid. He must have inherited his crappy choice in music from his old man." Dean could almost picture Caleb sitting there reclining while he talked into the phone. "Come on, Deuce. How many chances do I get to see a sure shot future All American? I could do a little recruiting for the Auburn Tigers. We bust ass and drive all night. We can make it there to catch the opening whistle."
"Damien…"
"Deuce, I need this," Caleb countered matter-of-fact. "I want bonfires. I need hot cider and football mom's bitching about bad calls. It's been a shitty couple of months. For one Saturday afternoon I need a reminder there's still good in this world."
Dean pulled the picture of Ben out of his pocket and studied it. "Oh, there is good out there, Damien, and it's worth fighting tooth and nail to protect. Fuck Heaven, Hell or anything else that has the nerve to threaten it."
"Now that sounds like the Deuce I know and love. How about it?"
"Oh right, man. You win." Dean shook his head amused. "Give me an hour. I'll meet you in the front of Dairy Queen."
"Excellent," Caleb replied. "And Deuce?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't ever forget, the one true legacy Jim left us."
"And what's that, Damien?"
"No matter the darkness, love always finds a way. I'll meet you in an hour." With that last thought Caleb cut the call.
Dean closed up his phone and put it in to his pocket. Then with a deep breath he gathered up his courage and walked up the stairs into the building. A pretty blonde in the back shot him a encouraging smile and scooted over to let him have a seat next to her.
A man stood up at the podium. "We have a disease, cunning, baffling and powerful. But that's okay. We have a choice. We don't need to drink tonight…."
Today he was determined, for his son's sake, a new circle was starting for the Winchester family.
Author's Notes:
It is estimated that one out of every six American families are affected by the disease of alcoholism. With known genetic components, and a tendency to run in families. There is no cure, but it is a treatable. It is a disease that knows no distinctions; housewives, television stars, blue collar workers, military professionals, clergy, and yes even doctors are stricken every day.
This story is dedicated to all the heroes that have stood up, faced this disease head on, and said, "Today the circle ends with me."
