Warning: Contains 2 men getting intimate....nothing REALLY explicit but there are references, thinly veiled and otherwise....
In an alternate universe where Haldir never died....and the elves hung around at the celebration of the battle of helm's deep...in a world...based off of the movies...in which I own NOTHING that JRR Tolkien wrote or Peter Jackson manipulated for said movies...in a world where we can all assume for the sake of argument that no one is bigoted and curiosity is never frowned on....THIS might happen. And in case you missed that little middle note...I OWN NOTHING. I also have no beta reader....so if there are mistakes I am sorry...so yeah...ENJOY.
The party was just beginning to rage around the small table of friendly warriors. The table sat the hobbits-Merry and Pippin, Théoden, Éomer, Aragorn, Gandalf, Haldir the March warden of Lorien, Legolas and Gimli.
Somehow through a discussion of various military battle drills and customs of war, the conversation drifted towards the practice of women to ride to the war camps with the men, according to Rohirric customs. Following this came a rather licentious comment from Gimli about pre-battle excitement and hard oiled...armour. Roars of laughter echoed from them and those that over heard.
"What is elfish custom in these matters?" Théoden asked sipping his ale as the laughter died down.
"We bring only our warriors" Haldir replied neatly.
"No pre-battle excitement for you" Gimli said with a gruff laugh, around his pipe.
Aragorn got a slightly evil gleam in his eyes. "Not exactly" he said
The elves shared a secretive look, mirth dancing in their eyes as Aragorn slipped his drink to hide his own complicit smirk.
"What?" Éomer asked, confused.
Haldir looked up and quirked a brow, a pointed appreciative look flitting up and down Éomer's chest until he landed on his eyes, holding his gaze with deep intent written in his eyes.
Théoden lifted a brow in shock, obviously not entirely sure what to say or how to react.
Éomer began to understand as his brows knit together in confusion, he spoke slowly as if not sure of his words "you mean to say that the elves..." he trailed off.
Éomer looked up as Haldir came around the table, a wicked look glistening in his blue eyes. "What difference would it make if it felt just the same or better?" he asked in a low purr slipping his knee in between the Rohirric soldier's legs, sidling to sit into his lap.
Éomer opened his mouth to reply and the elf pounced hard. One hand reached to cup his jaw, the other wound around the back of his head to pull him in. As he closed in without warning, he pressed his lips hard against Éomer's. A spark slid down the elf's spine as the coarse hair of his beard ground against his smooth cheek. The elf plundered the others mouth, almost shocked at the lack of resistance he was receiving.
After a moment he pulled away with an evil smirk on his face, pushing a delicate braid behind one leaf shaped ear he winked and then sauntered from the room.
Legolas pressed his lips together and forced his gaze to his cup on the table. Aragorn licked his lips avoiding anyone's eyes as his muscular chest shook with heavily repressed laughter. Gandalf looked at Gimli and the hobbits that were all 3 looking between Éomer and the great wooden door. The wizard burst out laughing, his eyes danced merrily with his mirth. This caused Aragorn to lose control over himself and his own laughter joined the table.
Upon seeing the confused looks on the faces of the people unfamiliar with such practices Gandalf calmed his laughter and attempted to explain "Elves as a whole do not usually care about each other's life styles-each has his own preferences which are beyond reproach by his kin"
Éomer drank deep and muttered something about the strangeness of elves as he lit his pipe in annoyance a strangers taking his being as he tried to sort out his feelings.
"So...Gandalf, male elves sometimes lie with other male elves?" Pippin asked, browns furrowed as he munched on a piece of cheese.
"Yes, that's right" Gandalf said calmly.
There was a long pause and Pippin turned to Legolas, "Legolas" he began but the wood elf rose in one movement and delivered quick, terse 'thank you' to Théoden before he fled after Haldir-way before Pippin could finish his sentence.
Aragorn continued to laugh brightly clutching his side as he tried to picture Legolas telling the Hobbits of his youthful trysts in Rivendell or his wooded home.
Gandalf laughed himself and put Aragorn in the seat by saying "oh if your brothers were here" he chuckled with a wink.
Aragorn flicked his eyebrow and rose neatly to the bait "Aye-what a wild time it would be" he said leaning back in his chair, puffing on his pipe with good humour.
"Your brothers?" Merry and Pippin chorused together, curiously.
Gimli huffed "Elves are completely a confusing lot" he said decidedly with a nod.
The night drifted onwards a few hours, the elves didn't come back and Aragorn and Théoden went off with Gandalf to talk about something.
Gimli started a drinking contest with some men and Legolas-who turned up at the last moment out of nowhere. Éomer attended it, being the judge and referee but it served as a mild distraction alone.
Heat rolled in his stomach and when the game broke up, Éomer looked around, deciding that alcohol was flowing freely and no one would notice or care if a powerful warrior selected one of the many neatly dressed young women flirting around the room and took her to his rooms.
Sidling neatly to the side of the nearest girl, he offered her a drink, a dance...he was almost surprised at how easy this conquest seemed to be. It took him only one more drink to get her to his rooms, with the door shut and the light off.
Leaping forward he was on her kissing at her neck, he slid his hand down her slender side kissing at the swell of her breasts and up her throat as she tore wildly at his shirt-her hands, and wildness eliciting a heated moan from him as he was jarred back to his dreams.
She giggled misreading his growl as one of sexual desire, so she kissed him harder. Pulling away from her lips he tried to reheat his ploy, reaffirm his original position with women by tearing at her dress with his teeth. Pulling at his belt the woman shoved his pants from his hips and seized him with a fevered grip.
Letting out another moan he pushed her onto his bed and tugged gently at her dress until it came off all at once. He moved his hands across her naked stomach, doing his utmost to try and build the desire to go lower. She increased her pace and he ground out another moan, managing to get a hand successfully to her hip he steeled himself for further action. Leaning over he took the initiative in the kiss, kissing her hard and nibbling at her lips. He was starting to feel a little better, almost back to the way he had been. All that remained was a lingering sense of utter frustration; he kissed her again, with more feeling intent to fuck away his frustrations, when he closed his eyes to better appreciate the kiss when an image flashed in his mind. For a moment, just a moment it was a wickedly smirking elf kissing at his lips, heat flew down his spine and through his stomach, and then his hand was aware of the breast beneath it and he grew flaccid in the young woman's grip as Haldir's face loomed in his vision, eyes closed, long blonde hair matted gently to his face as he moved above him.
"Lord Éomer" she asked quietly as her efforts failed to bring him back to hardness.
He snapped his eyes open and he pulled away and stood slowly with a sigh. "I am sorry my lady...I have to change my mind" he said quietly and frowned apologetically at her.
"Oh..." she said and trailed off as she fixed her dress, she knew she could argue, scream and insist that he give her something. But it would be nothing, he was a war hero and it wouldn't mean much anyway. With a slightly frustrated sigh she stormed off into the hall.
Éomer watched her go but felt no remorse, already distracted and planning to find a way to discover Haldir without being obvious and desperate.
Éomer not quite sure where to start, walked back into the great hall and took gentle hold of Legolas' arm nodding respectfully at his king and Aragorn as he pulled the elf aside, doing his very best to appear calm and jovial instead of hot and distracted. "I was wondering if you had any knowledge as to where Master Haldir is?" he asked as casually as he could.
Legolas lifted a brow "more than likely in the trees with his comrades" he said with an inclination at his head.
"Ah-thank you" The soldier returned neatly and with nothing more he left as quickly as he had come. Marching pointedly through the hall and out the door.
Looking down over the stones he saw a group of elves frolicking in a field chasing each other and generally being elves. Haldir though, was nowhere in sight.
Taking a deep breath he walked down the stairs and towards the small camp where the elves usually were, he came to the small strange tents they had constructed partially out of the trees themselves. "Master Haldir?" he called out nervously-hating himself for the soft tremble in his voice.
He blinked and half turned his head and in the span of that one hairs breath of a moment, the blonde warrior had appeared. "Oh there you are" the rider said quietly.
"You were looking for me?" Haldir asked taking a sip of wine he held in his delicate hand-trying not to smirk.
Taking the appearance of his hand and the grip his beautiful fingers had on the stem of the goblet was too much for the roused horse lord and with a growl he batted the vessel out of the elf's hand and pounced with everything in him.
His lips locked against Haldir's and he shoved the solidly built male against a tree, it felt difference as he slid his tongue hard into the smaller man's mouth. Haldir's mouth tasted of wine and masculinity-different than any other flavour he had ever tasted. Unlike giggly wilting women, Haldir fought back kissing him hard in return, pushing his tongue against Éomer's invading force.
When the horse lord pulled away for breath, he looked at the elf wondering what he would think. "Master Éomer, good evening" the elf offered gently.
"What have you done to me?" He asked softly as his rough and calloused hands sought Haldir's shoulder, smoothing a hand down the elf's silver shirt, brushing fingers over the solid muscles hidden by the suddenly too thick cloth.
"Awakened in you a desire you didn't know you had or ever considered-new things can be very intoxicating" Haldir replied with a lazy, sexual smirk. His long delicate fingers winding around Éomer's belt, loosening it knot by painfully slow knot.
"But how could it work? Are elves built different than men in that way?" Éomer murmured the violent heat slowed enough for him to address his curiosities.
Laughing gently Haldir took him by the belt and pulled him into a nearby tent. His bow, sword and dagger leaned against the tree trunk the tent was built around and a bed of canvas and leaves made with cloth and blankets-even a pillow- sat in the corner. "Elves are built no different than men" he said softly as he lit a candle and turned around to face the towering mortal.
"Then I do not understand" Éomer said as he pulled his long red hair over his shoulder and then tied it into a loose tail at the base of his skull.
"There would be no difference in certain things, as we both have hands and very capable mouths..." Haldir trailed off with a smirk, as he gestured with one slender hand for Éomer to join him on his bed.
Lowering himself slightly awkwardly onto the low bed, Éomer watched Haldir pull out a bottle of gently scented oil and set it on the table by his elbow. The man smiled gently as he saw a more sedate side of the warrior-a book sat behind the bottle.
"Contrary to popular belief military captains do know how to read" Éomer teased lightly.
Haldir laughed musically and then nodded his head and then relented to one of his own curiosities as he sat next to the man. A gentle deep breath revealed the virulently attractive scent of leather oil and something heady and musky like sweat only better. Things he couldn't identify as well mingled in the air as Haldir really let himself explore and he rose a smooth hand to touch the humans jaw-he had only a few encounters with a bearded man and none of them had been sexual. The rough prickle enticed him but he had no understanding of the actual depth of what it felt like.
Éomer grinned for once having the upper hand with the elf he rubbed his wiry jaw against the elf's palm, and then leant forward to kiss him high on his angular cheek bone nuzzling the bristly hairs along Haldir's sleek, smooth skin kissing again as an evil smirk coloured his own face. He decided that it was time for him to explore his new lovers body as well, it was clear that Haldir knew what he was doing, and the horse lord took no shame in admitting experience deciding that Haldir would instruct him when the time came.
This decided, the man reached forward and touched his finger tips to the tip of Haldir's leaf shaped ears, massaging ever so slightly watching Haldir's face and tilted his head as the elf's eyes blinked and small bumps broke out across his flesh. The elf's breath hitched as he ran his warm palm over the base of his ear and teased his fingers along the edge, curving over the sides to massage a little harder-grinning as a groan broke Haldir's pale throat, cupping his head as the elf leaned into his touch.
Haldir's cold fingers slid into the man's thin beard and clutched at his jaw line, pulling him into a heated kiss. He gently pushed a hand at Éomer's chest until the bigger man lay on his back. He crawled on top and straddled him, never once breaking their kiss.
Éomer looked up at him as Haldir pulled open his shirt and a soft gasp broke his lips as he leaned over and ran his cold and smooth fingers through the curly hairs on the mortal's broad, tanned chest. "I should have bedded a mortal years ago" he murmured with desire, his desire turning his speech to elfish.
"Speaking in the common tongue would mean I could assist in this process" Éomer returned neatly and pulled the elf down against his lips to quell his laughter.
Kisses flew back and forth between them, hands flying over clothes and flesh. At some point Haldir ended up on his back with Éomer looming over top of him wreaking merry havoc on his senses, playing with his pectoral muscles and his carved abs-teasing his bony hips with the bristled hairs of his jaw. Éomer's surprisingly clever mouth tasted every inch revealed to him, teasing the elf into insanity.
"By Elebreth" he murmured catching up Éomer's hands in his own he kissed the horse lord warmly.
"I call a truce to this ceaseless teasing-victory or death the decision must be made" Haldir pled quietly looking into guardedly emotional green eyes.
"I cannot decide this battle master elf-for I do not know the field onto which we ride" Éomer returned softly as they tumbled back to lie on his bed sprawled out in full length.
Haldir blinked and nodded his head "well there must be one decision we have to discuss" he said as he ran a hand over Éomer's sculpted chest.
"Yes?" he asked quietly.
"Well, you asked me before how an encounter would work..." Haldir murmured gently.
Haldir had never been in this position before, where he had to explain how this worked and he didn't want to ruin his chances of the brand new assignation by attempting to explain.
"Will you trust me?" The March warden asked.
"Yes" Éomersensing something was about to happen.
Haldir turned to his side and kissed him again, hands pushing his breeches down, repressing a moan as large, hot hands worked his own off-leaving him blissfully naked and next to his...surprisingly hairy lover. "Elebreth" he murmured softly reaching out he ran his fingers through the curly hairs between his legs.
Éomer grunted softly but smiled gently-surprised himself at Haldir's complete smoothness everywhere. His leg twitched and another grunt broke his lips as the elf's exploration of his hair caused the rubbing of cool knuckles against his most heated piece. "It's everywhere" Haldir muttered.
Smirking the elf started to 'accidentally' brush across his hot flesh, teasing the tip of one finger over the weeping tip, massaging gentle but barely there up and down. Watching the other man move underneath him "Rohan declares war on Lorien" Éomer growled playfully and pushed Haldir onto his back.
His large hand encompassed him and he began to play around with what he held in his hand, it was new but not totally unfamiliar. He simply imagined what he himself would enjoy. A long but gentle stroking motion at first, calloused fingers playing with what lay behind. He teased and poked, rolled and massaged, watching as Haldir flailed and keened in pleasure.
Then Lorien struck back and the elves muscular thigh came between Éomer's legs and flipped him over-cool hand sliding down to grip him, massaging steadily in an even practised motion. Thumb brushing drop after drop of liquid as it seeped steadily out, twisting and stroking even more.
Éomer clutched the edge of the bed, knuckles turning white as he went beyond any pleasure he had consciously experienced.
Deciding now would be an excellent time to broach the actual act Haldir let his hand slip lower teasing a finger and stroking gently over the curve of his back before dipping ever so slightly towards his opening, teasing it with one finger, carefully watching the mortal for his reaction.
As his lovers hand dropped lower, Éomer wondered for a moment what he was doing and then white hot spears of pleasure and a sense of heated curiosity shot down his spine and through his stomach and suddenly he realized how this would work. "Oh...Haldir" he gasped desperately.
A long moment passed and Éomer took in the newness and then he looked the elf dead in the eyes, lust and want glittered in his eyes. "Rohan rides to victory" he murmured softly as he moved against his hand, shuddering softly as he tried to imagine the full act, the end result.
Haldir smiled and leaned forward kissing him heatedly as his hands flew wild, knowing now he could ride the horse lord, beyond anything the man thought possible.
