Chapter 1

You know that feeling you get inside when you KNOW that something's wrong?

Well, y'see, I've never had that feeling...

Not until now, anyway.

When Shelby came into my life, he came in with a fricken bang. So far in our relationship, he'd kissed me, (like four billion times holy shit he's sexyasdfghjkl) gotten me drunk, stolen evidence from a crime scene and lied to the police to save my sorry ass. so of course he seemed like the bestest deputy on the whole planet! Until I saw Emma's orange clown car parked in the driveway. "Dafuq?" I thought to myself, stomping over to the door in rage, and slam-bamming it open. I figured that Nemma was having sex, but it turned out to be Emma and some Asian girl sitting on the bed. "Dafuq?" I thought again, scratching my head. It wasn't until I saw Norman walk in, that I realized what was going on.

"Threesome?" I asked, a smile growing in my face. Emma's jaw dropped.

"What?" She asked in utter shock. "No!"

"Mother, this is the girl," Norman told me.

"You got a mail order bride?" I asked him.

"No! Stop being insane!" Norman shouted. "This is the Asian sex slave from Shelby's basement. The one he's been keeping there." I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, Charlie...oh God..." I said, covering my face with my hands. "Why me, lord. Why me..."

"It's true!" Emma argued, as if someone was listening to her. Well, I sure as hell wasn't. "I was there. I SAW it. And besides..." Emma looked at the girl. "We have living, breathing proof right here!" She pointed to the girl sitting on the bed. I rolled my eyes and snorted.

"Yeah, right," I said in my snobby bitch voice. "Like Shelby would do something like that."

"Fine. Ask her," said Norman. I did a hair flip as I pulled a picture of my boyfriend out of my wallet.

"This is not the man, right?" I asked, examining my red, glistening nails for a moment. I honestly didn't care what she had to say, because I was in love with Shelby and that was all that mattered.

"That's the man," she replied in her shaky voice, and by the looks of it she was about to pass out,

"Bitch please!" I yelled, shooting Emma a nasty look just for kicks. God, how can Norman like her this much?

"Mother!" Norman yelled, and the Asian girl fell off the bed. Emma helped him to pick her up, and I stood there laughing.

"I think I'm gonna go call Shelby," I told them, flipping my luxurious blonde hair again. "It's sex night."

"Norma, you HAVE to listen to us! Please!" Emma begged, tears streaming down her sweet, innocent, worthless face. "Shelby is NOT who you think he is!"

"Bitch, let it go. I don't have TIME for this!" I yelled, stomping out of there and slamming the door. I grabbed a golf club off he ground and began swinging it at Emma's windshield. After a few moments Emma and my son came outside.

"NORMA!" Emma screeched, attempting to grab the club away from me. But I had absolutely no desire to give it up.

"I'LL MAKE A DENT IN YOUR FREAKING SKULL IF YOU DON'T GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" I pushed Emma off me with my forearm and she fell onto the concrete, coughing. And of course, Norman was there to help her up.

I kept swinging and swinging until glass went flying everywhere. Then I grabbed a tank of gasoline I had conveniently placed outside of the motel room. Just in case.

I covered her barf colored vehicle in gasoline, then set it on fire using the matches I had carried around in my pocket. Keepin' it real, Norma. Keepin' it classy.

"Oppa Dylan style!" I screamed, running into the woods like a rabid animal and leaving Nemma there to stare at the burning clown car. Emma was crying, I was sure. Well, at least she was getting what she deserved.

"WHY DOES YOUR MOM HATE ME!?" Emma screeched, breaking down into tears. Norman stood there with her, rubbing her back as the two watched burning sparks fly in the crisp moonlight.

"I don't know," said Norman, his British accent peeking thought just a bit. He pulled Emma into a hug and held her as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"We should find her," said Emma thought her tears. Norman nodded and led her into the woods. What an admirable thing to do, to take a teenage girl with CF out into the tic-infested woods at midnight. Alone. To find a crazy bitch that had just set your car on fire.

Enough said.

And you're probably all like, "Wait a minute, did she just call herself a crazy...bitch?"

Well, the answer is yes. Because I'm Norma Bates. And that's how I freaking roll.

TO BE CONTINUED...

A/N: Yeah, I know that Norma doesn't believe them at first, but she will come to terms with the whole situation in the next chapter. :) and we are also adding Zach Shelby! (Yay)