A/N: Okay, this is to the tune of 'Mary had a Little Lamb'. I'll add more verses as my friends and I think of them.
"Nessie Had a Little Kitten"
Nessie had a little kitten
Little kitten
Little kitten
Nessie had a little kitten
Till Alice eated it.
After that Nessie cried all day
Cried all day
Cried all day
After that Nessie cried all day
So Edward said "shut up."
Emmett roared with laughter then
Laughter then
Laughter then
Emmett roared with laughter then
So Jasper bit off his head.
Esme scolded Jasper later
Jasper later
Jasper later
Esme scolded Jasper later
And Carlisle was really pissed.
Bella sewed his head back on
Head back on
Head back on
Bella sewed his head back on
Then it fell right off.
Rosalie kicked it 'cross the floor
'Cross the floor
'Cross the floor
Rosalie kicked it 'cross the floor
And Emmett shouted "GOAL!"
Emmett's head rolled out the door
Out the door
Out the door
Emmett's head rolled out the door
Then it bounced off a tree.
The tree fell on Emmett's jeep
Emmett's jeep
Emmett's jeep
The tree fell on Emmett's jeep
And left a dent in the roof.
Emmett's head rolled in the creek
In the creek
In the creek
Emmett's head rolled in the creek
And he ate Nessie's fish.
Nessie cried again that day
Again that day
Again that day
Nessie cried again that day
And Edward ripped out his hair.
Rosalie killed the piano then
Piano then
Piano then
Rosalie killed the piano then
And keys flew through the air.
Nessie's dog was hit by keys
Hit by keys
Hit by keys
Nessie's dog was hit by keys
And died of piano massacre.
Nessie turned out emo in life
Emo in life
Emo in life
Nessie turned out emo in life
And started slitting her wrists.
Carlisle didn't know how that worked
How that worked
How that worked
Carlisle didn't know how that worked
Because she was half vampire.
Bella scolded Nessie often
Nessie often
Nessie often
Bella scolded Nessie often
So she cut herself more.
They put Nessie in an asylum
In an asylum
In an asylum
They put Nessie in an asylum
With men in funny coats.
Nessie bit all her doctors
All her doctors
All her doctors
Nessie bit all her doctors
And started a newborn rampage.
Jasper went psycho then
Psycho then
Psycho then
Jasper went psycho then
With insatiable bloodlust.
