~*~I'M ALIVE BUT TELL ME AM I FREE~*~

THE WOMAN IN BLACK

A STORY BY BALLENOIR

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A/N: Banga Boom! Hello you guys 'n' girlies! Here is yet another Neo and Trinity Fic for all you Matrix fans to read! Now, I have to admit that this is my first fic here on the Matrix 'side' of FF.net. But, I'm quite pleased with it, and I hope you people will be too. First of all I have several things to mention.

One, a HUUUUUUUUUUGE shout-out to my good friend Camila!!! For no reason at all, but she puts up with all my craaaaazy obsessed ramblings over the Matrix, Keanu Reeves, anything in fact! Yes, loads of things we talk about, and I'd like to say thank you for putting up with me, and it is an honour to be friends with you!!

Two: In my fic, it takes place AFTER Revolutions

Three: The Nebuchadnezzer Still exists; those evil squiddies never attacked it!!! But this is my fic, my rules!!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own Lovely Neo (*Darn! *), Trinity, Morpheus or Link. They belong to those wonderful people at Warner Brothers and those amazing Wachowski Bro's. But, I do own Cell, Zylone and Becky. If anyone wants to borrow them please ask do not steal! That's just plain evil!!!

So right now I'm gonna shut my face and let you read this story! But one more thing...Please if you want this to continue....please PLEASE review...make my day...you know you want to...! ; D

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It's been 2 years, two whole years since that day, to everyone it was a good day, a day of rejoicing, celebration. But to me it was a day of the end. The day when my one true love died. Trinity.
I wish there was something I could of done. But I could do nothing absolutely nothing. She died right in front of me. Then I saved Zion, surely that was wrong? The one person I was willing to die for do anything for just to keep us together and I saved Zion instead. It's a selfish thought, but to me, Trinity came first that day, to keep her safe. But she died.
I returned to Zion, by some way, I can't remember. Apparently I was in the hospital bay, for weeks, in a coma. I was practically fine apart from my eyes. They all though I'd be blind forever, but miracles of miracles a treatment was found and now I can see again thank goodness. But later I was told that Morpheus and Link had found me, and brought me back to our ship and then I recovered.
Tonight, there is a party, to celebrate the end of the machine war, two years ago. I'm putting on a brave face, for everyone else's sake as well as my own. I can't erase Trinity from my life, it's impossible I lie awake at night and it's all I think about. Her. Morpheus accepts this, and is treating me normally, but I feel everyone else is treating me as if I'm going to break down. To be honest I'm getting sick of it. I'm getting bored. Everything about this world has memories, memories I'd rather forget.

"Neo?" Damn...he's caught me again.

"Morpheus" I reply still staring at the screens of green rain

"You coming to join us?"

"Um...yeah" I say turning to face him

We share an awkward silence, I know he wants to ask me...ask me why I spend hours watching the codes cascade down from the Matrix.

"I'm looking for her," I say looking back at the screen

"Neo, you spend hours on here everyday...Your not going to find her." he says sympathetically

"I know" I say, defeated I stand up turn and smile weakly at Morpheus who smiles back.

"Let's go" I say

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The pulsing drumbeats reverberate around my head, crowds and crowds of people dance in time with the music. I stare out across them from the ledge. I remember that night the first day I arrived here at Zion, boy that was a long time ago, it was after going with Morpheus to see some council members and the like. I couldn't wait to get back to our cabin and see Trinity; the whole day for us had been charged with sexual tension nothing could describe it. After Morpheus had told me to be at the temple in half an hour, I basically ran the way back to our room. I got to the door and turned the wheel, it opened hideously slowly, when it did, I entered and shut it behind me.

"Trin?" I asked, she was nowhere to be seen.

"Trinity?" I called again looking around.

"Neo?" I hear her reply from the other room

I rush to the doorway of the bathroom, but she appears through first. Her hair dripping from just being washed, and clothed in one of her oversized scruffy jumpers that came mid-thigh.

"Your back" She smiles, one of the things only I get to see

I say nothing, and walk toward her, and capture her in a hug, we break away and come together in a kiss.

"I missed you," I say running my hands through her silky wet hair.

"Me too" She replies touching her nose with mine.

"You going to the gathering?" I ask

"Of course" She replies in a deep sultry voice

Our lips meet again for another deep kiss, her hands resting on my shoulders, mine rubbing small circles on her hips. She breaks free and pushes me back with both hands, looking at me from arms length,

"You going like that?"

I look down at myself, at my scraggy black jumper and grey pants.

"I might change" I say matter - of - factly

"Good" She states before coming to attack my mouth again, who's to complain?

We continue wrapped up in each others embrace for ages, knowing all too well, we can't take it any further, but enjoying the only time we have had together longer than two minutes for the whole day.

"Shit" Trinity curses breaking free and checking the time

"What?"

"Look, we should be at the temple, like five minutes ago" She rushes around panicking, grabbing what's looks like a very revealing gold top and tiny mini skirt, Trinity, skirt? I don't think I've ever seen her like this before.

"Do we have to go?" I ask lamely

"Yes" She stands up straight looking me straight in the eye seriously

"Quick, get dressed then" I say, she's still in her baggy jumper

"No, Neo.... go ahead, and I'll be there in a minute" She comes up to me and gives me a lingering kiss on the lips.

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"Hey Neo" A voice wakes me from my memories

"Link" I reply

"You all right there?" He asks

I pause, am I?

"Yeah, doing fine" I lie, harder than it seems

"Do you know where Morpheus is?" I ask

"Um...somewhere in this crowd of people" He states unhelpfully

"Thanks" I say, standing up and turning to go

"Anything I can do?" He asks

"No, Maybe tomorrow" I say

I get up and make my way to the nearest exit of the cave. After battling my way through millions of people, I manage find my way to my cabin...what was our cabin. I get to the big rusty red door and turn the wheel. Going in everything is silent, too silent, that's one thing I miss about the Matrix, My Stereo, all the time I had music playing, now all I have is quiet. I sit on the edge of the cot; looking around the room...I really have to do this.

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"I want to go back to the Matrix"

"Why? There's nothing there for you to do" Morpheus looks at me questioningly

"I know" I say

"Then why do you want to go back?"

I sigh...this is going to be harder than I thought.

"I want to go back to being Thomas A. Anderson, I want to go back and live my old life"

Morpheus looks completely shocked...

"Neo..."

"I've thought about it for too long...I need to go back"

"It's not because of Trinity?" He asks

"Yes" I have to admit it

"I need to forget, this is the only way of doing so. I done all I can with being 'The One', there is nothing here keeping me back"

"Neo, this is something we very rarely do, the chances of completely disconnecting you with this world is virtually impossible, I'm not even sure if we still have the programme"

"Morpheus, you have that damn programme, you get Link to load it up now," I say calmly but with force in my voice, I've decided what I want to do, and I'm going to do it.

"But Neo, you can't leave, what about Zion?"

"Just do it Morpheus," I say

After Morpheus leaves I make my way to those computer screens, and I sit in Link's chair and stare one last time at the tumbling codes, I put my left hand to the back of my neck and feel the plug, icy and metallic. This is the last time; I'm ever going to experience this.

"Neo have you lost your mind?" Link's raised voice comes from behind me, he's followed by Morpheus carrying a small disk, with the programme on, or at least I hope it has.

"No, because this is what I want" I say as calmly as possible

"But your the one" he says, as I stand up

"And I have done all I can" I say.

I go over to my loading chair and sit on the edge, Link and Morpheus's eyes following me...Morpheus is very quiet. I find it quite strange; he's not really putting up much of a fight.

"You're positive you want to do this?" He asks

"Yes" I say standing up again

Link takes the programme from Morpheus and places it into the system, He types in many codes and numbers, watching different patterns and words come across the screen, his eyes darting from screen to screen.

"Where do you want to go?" He asks

"Where?"

"Where do you want to go back to in the Matrix?"

"Err, my apartment" I hesitate, I never really thought of that.... I assume that it's still there, untouched, unlikely but hey.

"Fine, seems like everything is working...it's so long since I have done this" He comments.

"Your really going" Morpheus says.

"Yeah"

"Come here" He says and pulls me into a tight hug.

"I'm gonna keep in touch with you" He chuckles, my mind flashes back to when I first received those messages on my computer...they were from Trin, I stop that thought as quickly as it came...

"Thank you" I say. Breaking free.

"Link..." He stands and we hug...

I stand for a minute, just taking in my surroundings, putting this memory into my head till the day I die. I then walk over and lie in the chair for the last time. Morpheus Stands behind me ready with the jack.

"Ready?" Link asks, tapping away furiously at the keyboards.

After a few moments...

"Yeah"

He types in another code

"Neo, you really are the one" Morpheus says from overhead of me.

"Three" Link says ready

"Two"

"Goodbye"

"ONE"

A searing pain shoots through my head, all I see is white as I hear the click of the computer magnified a thousand times. I feel as if I'm spinning, faster and faster round and round, unreadable pictures blurring in front of my eyes until....

I wake up bolting straight upright in my bed, the sheet falling to the floor. I'm shaking a cold sweat over my body; I put a hand to my face. Is this real? I felt as if I were here yesterday.... was it some weird dream? I look across my cluttered room and notice something insanely weird, my draped over my desk chair and lying on the computer table is my long black jacket and my dark glasses. This was no dream, because I lived it.

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"Mr Anderson?" My boss says to me...sounding a little too like Smith. He looks at me across the desk. I look him straight in the eye. I'm still not quite sure about being called Mr Anderson again. It's not my name.

"You want your old job back?"

"Yes I do." I say confidently, I knew this might be the case, but I'm gonna try and get my job back.

"You left, six months ago, not even saying where you had gone and now return expecting a now taken place back?"

"Look, I know I left, and I know, it's going to be hard for you to give me a new placement, but sir, I need this"

"If I gave you this, you'd promise me that you won't fall back into your old habits of being late slaking, using the net for other reasons than...."

"Yes. Anything sir" I interrupt.

"Fine, start 9AM tomorrow morning, I will have your old desk cleared"

"Thank you sir" I say leaving as quickly as possible. I can't believe how easy that was...or maybe it's because I'm still not used to anything being easy.

The next day, I arrive half an hour early...not really my style but I have to make this work. My boss takes me to that cubicle, my computer still positioned in the same way, everything the slight greeny grey monochrome style. And I sit down, turning on the computer, I look round my area. Nothing has changed, but everything has.

My computer finishes loading and I log on and begin to my day's tasks when suddenly a little icon appears at the bottom right hand corner of the screen 'you have one unread e-mail'. Huh? Mail? I didn't expect anything; I haven't contacted anybody in so long. I click on the alert box and the mail programme loads; I look across to my calendar. Friday 13th 2004. Unlucky for some. I look back to the screen and what I read shocks me completely.

Hello Neo,

Link and I are missing your presence; it's not quite completed you not being here. I regard what you did on returning to the Matrix a very brave thing to do. We all wish that some day, we will meet again, both you and Trinity.

Morpheus

One day. I hope.

I move the cursor over the reply button, I click it but nothing happens...I try again...nothing...then I notice that the actual button has disappeared. Maybe I'm not supposed to reply? I never understood Morpheus's way of contact. I feel excluded, but that was my choice, the price I'm gonna have to pay.

A week later, When it's my break, I feel relieved, I think I'm gonna go back to hating this job, like I always did. But it's gradually taking my thoughts elsewhere. Which is what I wanted. I sign out for my break and head out onto the busy streets. I make my way to the little Internet cafe on the corner, that I always used to go to before I was 'unplugged'. I order a drink, and go to a computer. It's what my life will always revolve around, Computers, Machines. They will always control me. Only once did I ever control them. The waitress brings me my mug of coffee and places it down beside me. I tear my eyes away from the screen and look down at the swirling darkness. I pick up the spoon on the saucer. "There is no spoon" I whisper to myself...I wonder if I can still do that. I close my eyes tight and concentrate. I force myself to think that there is no spoon, but my head is aching my thoughts keep travelling away from the subject, I open my eyes and see the spoon still straight in front of me, looking exactly the same. I suppose I couldn't of kept everything from the real world.

About half an hour later I realise that I have about fifteen minutes of break left. I log off, pay and head out the cafe. I walk the opposite direction than the offices, just in interest to see if anything's changed, I doubt it but you never know. It's the end of lunch break for many people so the sidewalks are pretty crowded, everyone bustling and knocking each others shoulders, it's a battle to get wherever you want. All of a sudden I'm knocked into my right side, a woman, slightly smaller than me, a little longer than shoulder length slightly wavy raven hair very pale skin, wearing a black trouser suit and carrying a small black rucksack.

"God I'm sorry" I say grabbing her elbow, she's looking at the floor, picking up a green ring binder, she dropped.

She slowly straightens up, tucking a strand of hair away from her face, she looks me. The first thing I notice is her startling icy blue eyes.

"No it was my fault", she smiles a small smile and takes a pair of sunglasses from her suit pocket and puts them on, hiding herself.

Why do I have a really funny feeling in the pit of my stomach? She cocks her head to the left slightly.

" I'm sorry I have to get back to work" and with that she moves past me, leaving me in the middle of the busy sidewalk. I spin round, but she has completely disappeared.

Back at work, my mind keeps straying back to her face...I know her from somewhere, but then again I don't. Werid.

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"Black coffee, no sugar". I say to the young girl behind the counter. Here I am at the Internet cafe. I have been coming here everyday for the past two weeks. Two week since I saw that woman. I go to my usual computer and login. After surfing the net for a little while. I look up from the screen and look around the cafe. I see, a man, laughing at himself, a teen girl, looking like she's studying then a woman, dressed in black typing away furiously, and then another guy...woman dressed in black...it's her again. The woman, I bumped into two weeks ago. "Shit" I whisper under my breath. I look back at my screen; an advert for Ray Ban sunglasses pops up. Argh...how much I hate this pop up ads. Sunglasses ad...this is all getting slightly too surreal. This woman, I know from somewhere, but don't and an advert for sunglasses, that look just like.....Trin's..... .

Oh my god. I look up again and she's still typing away at twice the speed of sound. I log off stand up, moving around the room to a free computer next to hers. I sit down in the booth and log back in. I make myself look busy for a couple of minutes; she hasn't even looked up since I came over here. I stop typing myself and look at what she's doing. A Word document about...about, I quote 'Living a Dream'. I look down, and see something I that makes my jaw drop. The word... 'Matrix'. Shit.

I'm still staring unbelieving at the screen when suddenly I notice she's staring right back at me.

"Can I help you?" She asks her tone slightly put out...probably because I'm reading her document.

"Err..." I pause

"Nothing" I get back to 'surfing' the net, but curiosity gets the better of me.

"You know about the Matrix?" I ask tenitivly.

She stares at me for a moment. I know those eyes.

"Yea...I did" She says wistfully

"You did?" I reply

"Yes, But you wouldn't understand." She says abruptly looking back at the screen, clicking several times and closing the program.

"What do you remember?" I say

She looks at me, her eyes cutting straight through me...she seems annoyed I'm even asking.

"What? I don't even know you, why should I tell you, you'd never even believe anything about it." She logs off, stands up and prepares to leave gathering her bag and jacket off the back off her seat.

"Now if you don't mind I have to go." She says putting on her sunglasses, but it's overcast and grey outside. This is when I know; this is when I finally put the last piece in the puzzle.

She leaves the cafe quickly, walking fast and confidently down the street moving gracefully through the crowds off people. Why is it I get knocked about all the time?

"Hey!" I call; she carries on walking through the people.

"Hey!"

"HEY!!" I yell

She stops in the middle of the sidewalk, people edging their way around her, she's looking very annoyed and reaching for her mobile, flicking it open.

"I'm gonna call the cops, if you don't quit with following me!" She threatens

"Wait. Wait." I say breathlessly catching up with her.

She looks at me as if to say...get lost before I kick your ass...which I know she has the potential to do...

"Trinity?"

We stare at each other for what seems like hours, it felt as if the whole world had vanished and all that existed was us and this moment

She closed her eyes, screwing them up in frustration.

"No" She whispered. Opening them she turned to walk away, but I grabbed her arm.

"Trinity" I said again

"How...How do you know that?" her cool exterior vanishes as she turns around again.

"Your really Trinity?"

"I was." She looks at me oddly for a moment.

"You know me"? She adds

"Trin?" I ask, surely that will make her realise...

"Neo?" She removes her sunglasses, almost squinting.

I just stare at her. Unsure of what to say in fear of her not believing this.

"Neo...I thought...you...you. No this is some stupid dream." She shakes her head walking in the opposite way again. But I turn and grab her again by her arm.

"No Trin, It's you, it has to be, we're in the Matrix, this may be a dream, but this is real"

"But I thought you... you were dead"

"No...You died"...I say...this is all too confusing

"I left...the Neb and Zion...because you died" I put my hand up to my head a grab a fistful of my own hair, tugging at it frustrated. What the hell?

"I never died, we went in the Logos, and you were killed by those rods...."

She shakes her head

"I wouldn't remember"

I walk up to her, our stare never breaking; this is the day I've always wished for.

I take her hand in mine and continue to look into her eyes.

"You feel this." I whisper bringing our hands up to chest height

"I'm never letting go..."

"Neo..." She whispers breaking our hands to connect us in a hug.

"I've found you" I say, we're swaying gently, her head is buried in my neck.

"I've found you," She repeats.

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Morpheus and link were sitting in the mess eating what they called breakfast. They were sitting in a friendly silence occasionally discussing the ship system and other things. After a few moments the door opened with a loud clunk and Zylone entered. Zylone was a new member of the ship; she was tall, very pretty and had a kick-ass attitude not dissimilar to Trinity.

"Morning Zy" Link winked up at her, as she got herself some goop and a cup of water and sat down at the end of the table.

"Morning, Link, Morpheus." She nodded in their directions.

"MORPHEUS! LINK!" Cell, another new member of Morpheus's crew entered. He was about the same age as Mouse was although slightly more grown up. He had a good personality and was a whiz at mending things. Morpheus had asked both he and Zylone to join the ship after Neo left.

"What is it?" Morpheus asked looking up, startled at such an outburst.

"The code, I've spotted something, you gotta see" He rushed.

Morpheus and Link shared a worried glance, and quickly got up and headed after Cell for the core of the ship. With Zylone heading not far behind.

"Shit." Link cursed as he jumped into the operator's chair noticed the 'thing' in the code that Cell had spotted.

"What is it?" Morpheus asked standing over Link's shoulder, Cell and Zylone peering over the other.

"It's Neo," He whispered

"And Trinity" Morpheus added whispering; they seemed scared that talking it would turn it all into a dream.

"Do you want to go in?" Link asked

There was a pause... Morpheus stood up straight and looked at the couple on the screens making there way to an apartment block in the middle of the city.

"No" He said simply

"But Morpheus, this is Trinity for god's sake she's Alive!" Said Zy.

"I know"

"But she died, why is she alive?" Cell asked confused.

Zylone and Cell didn't know Trinity obviously, but they knew almost everything about her, thanks to Morpheus and everyone back home in Zion.

"She most likely had her body reinserted, but I have a feeling, that she has been given a very special thing back"

"What's that?" Asked Zy.

"Her memory"

"Her memory?" Link repeated

"Yes, usually if a body is reinserted back into the Matrix, they loose their Memory, they forget everything they ever knew about us, Zion, this world. They will go back to the Matrix, just like as if they were carrying on a normal day."

"But Neo, he still remembers...otherwise, he wouldn't have known it was Trinity." Link added

"I know, that was because, you see I had a special programme, for this very use. I made it, just before, we unplugged Neo, because I knew that although, he was the one, there was a chance as he was too old that he wouldn't accept the truth. So I could reinsert him, he could indeed think about it and understand, and if I wanted to bring him back, I could and it wouldn't be so traumatising for him."

"Right" Said Zy, slightly confused.

"So he hasn't forgotten and will never forget. Morpheus finished.

"But what about Trinity?" Cell asked

"She has remembered because of one thing..."

"What's that?" Questioned Link.

"Love"

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"So much has changed but everything hasn't" I say awestruck as I follow Trin up a long and winding staircase. Everything here is very white and very modern.

She doesn't reply but tightens her grip on my hand as we approach the 13th floor and to a door with the number 303 on the front in big sliver letters.

"Apartment 303?" I ask her as she fumbles around in her bag looking for a key.

"Yeah, odd isn't it?" She smiles back. A smile I haven't seen in quite a while, a smile I'm glad to see. A very un-Trinity like smile.

She lets us in, and we're greeted by a small hallway, then going through, a large living room, a huge black leather couch in the middle, facing a huge window that looks out onto the city. A TV to the left of the couch, and several large leafy green potted plants on and around the floor.

"It's not really how I like it, but it does." She sighs, going through a door to my right.

"Do you want a drink?" She calls, from what I guess is the kitchen.

"Um...yeah okay" I reply looking around and spotting a dark wooded picture frame. It's holding a picture of who I guess is a young Trinity, on a beach in the middle of winter, she's all wrapped up in scarf and coat, shoulder length raven hair tumbling out beneath a bobble hat. She has a palmful of sand and it's tumbling through her fingers.

"God, that pictures so old" A voice behind me says." My...my Dad took that when I was about six, when were living in California."

"Oh right..." I say, something about the sand tumbling through Trin's tiny six-year-old fingers has struck something inside me, but that though quickly vanishes when I turn around.

There stands Trin, holding two mugs, looking as beautiful as ever.

"Sit down" She offers.

I do, she sits down next to me placing the mugs on the small coffee table in front of us.

We sit in silence for an awkward few seconds, then we both turn to each other and stare for a second, and then our lips meet, in a soft passionate kiss.

We break apart after a few minutes, breathing heavily, staring into each other's eyes.

"God Trin how much have I missed you" I whisper, and boy how much have I missed her.

"I've lain awake so many hours waiting for this day," She whispers back, her hands coming up to cup my face. Our lips meet again, tongues battling fiercely, trying to remember every single feeling off this simple ritual, it means so much to us. Our hands are everywhere at once, re-customising ourselves with each other, my hands reaches for the top button of her shirt, I manage to undo one button when suddenly the doorbell goes.

"Leave it," I breathe breaking away for a second.

"No, I was expecting someone" She replies our noses touching.

She places her hands on my shoulders, pushing me away gently. She smiles at me doing up the button of her blouse I undid. I flop back down against the sofa with a groan.

"She won't be long" Trinity says nodding toward the door. She gets up, leans down and plants a small kiss on my forehead then turns exits though the door to answer the front door. I listen to the conversation.

"Hey Becky" Trin says cheerily

"Erin" Becky replies, Erin...Erin...oh my god...Trinity's 'Matrix' name...Erin, that's so beautiful.

"Come in"

"Thanks...I have that article you wanted"

"Oh Thanks, you didn't have any problems trying to get it? Come on through"

I sit up quickly, composing myself as best I can.

"Well, I had to convince Phil, but Logan and Kathy agreed you could have it."

The two women come through into the lounge; Becky was a small woman, with waist length curly ginger hair, fashionable glasses and a large woven bag slung across her shoulder.

"Typical of Phil" Trinity--or rather Erin said, She was holding a large blue folder full of paper...strange looking article I thought to myself.

"Hey, who's the good looking guy?" Becky asked turning to me sitting sheepishly on the couch.

"Oh, sorry" Trin, turned and faced me, her eyes glinting slightly.

"This is Ne...Tom Anderson...a very good friend of mine" I noted she called me Tom, not Thomas or Neo.

"Hi" I say smiling giving a pathetic little wave.

"Nice to meet you" Becky nodded...She really wasn't a person I'd expect to friends with Trin. She turned back to 'Erin'.

"I would stay, but seeing as you have company..." She stressed the word company; maybe she worked us out...?

"I'll see you tomorrow" Trinity said

"Thanks so much for these, I have to get that document finished before David kicks my ass" She placed the folder on the coffee table and escorted Becky out. A few minutes later she retuned to the lounge.

"Now, where were we?" She smiled seductively at me as we merge together again.

"Your called Erin?" I say as she begins to attack my neck.

"Ha, you noticed?"

"Well, I couldn't have missed it."

"Yeah, my full Matrix name, that's officially on my birth certificate is Erin Bethany - Jane Hanley. Horrible isn't it?"

"No not at all, it's gorgeous, better than mine." I say in-between noisy kisses to her collarbone.

"Yeah Tom" She smiles as I come to claim her lips. "I think I prefer Neo though" She smiles again after we break away.

"Me too, Trinity." And once again we join together in our own little private heaven.

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A/N: You want to know more about 'Erin's' job? You want to know about Cell and Zylone? You want to know why Neo died, and not Trinity? You want this to carry on? Well you know what to do.......REVIEW!!!!!!