A/N: Eeeeeee, I'm excited about this, I have high hopes for it. We'll see how it goes though. Reviews and the like are welcome and appreciated, but please, no flames.
Quiet. He always thought it was too quiet in the Castle That Never Was, and to make it worse, no one else ever seemed to agree with him. Was he the only one who couldn't take the silence pressing into his ears day after day? It appeared to be that way, because they always complained when he played his sitar. That was why he often retreated to the Hall of Empty Melodies to play, where there wasn't often someone around to complain-like Saïx. He was so tired of the berserker snarling at him for everything-messing up on a mission, oversleeping, or playing his sitar too loud. A guy could start to feel unwanted at that rate.
Then again, no one had ever gone out of their way to make him feel wanted or needed-they weren't supposed to feel anything, after all, so it didn't really matter if he "felt" unwanted, he wasn't really "feeling" it at all, right? That's probably what they would tell him if they ever said anything about it, anyway-if he ever brought it up in the first place. No one shared his view point on a lot of things-hearts, fighting and music for a few prime examples-so he supposed he was the odd duck in the Organization. He'd never really felt like he belonged here, but he was, and here he would stay because there was no leaving the Organization.
The blonde sighed to himself as he shifted a little, moving his sitar to be more comfortable. He was perched on the balcony in the Hall of Empty Melodies, with his gloves discarded to the side already-it was easier to play that way. His fingers found the strings of his sitar, brushing tenderly over them and coaxing a low melody from the instrument. Music was in his blood-it was what he did better than anything, and he had to wonder who he'd been when he'd actually been a Somebody. He could remember bits and pieces vaguely, but nothing specific that was very helpful.
He closed his eyes as his fingers danced over the strings, creating a unique melody that was different from every other time he'd played. No matter how many times he sat down and did this, he always managed to create a new tune that was completely his. He owned the melody like the melody owned his soul-did Nobodies have souls? He didn't even have to think about it, the music just flowed, natural and pure. The sounds echoed through the large room, reverberating off the high walls and coming back to his ears.
Nothing else in the world really existed to him right now; there was just his sitar and the music. Though he would admit later, and on many occasions before, that maybe getting lost in his own world so easily wasn't the best habit. It made him an easy target, easy to sneak up on and scare-if Nobodies could indeed be scared-and there was someone in particular who usually always took advantage of that-and today was no exception.
"Boo," there was a voice suddenly in his ear, low and warm, and hands descended to his shoulders.
The blonde yelped at the sudden contact, fingers striking the strings of his sitar in an awkward way and causing a mildly unpleasant sound. Tilting his head back, he gazed up at the older Nobody who was deftly defying gravity above and behind him. Well, at least it wasn't someone who was going to bitch at him for something, or at least, the Freeshooter never did it often.
"Geez, man, don't you ever get tired of sneaking up on me all the time?" Demyx complained, swiftly regaining his composure and acting like he had not just yelped a few seconds ago.
"Not when it's so easy to do, kid," Xigbar retorted with a smirk, warping to be standing properly, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the railing next to the Nocturne, "What do you think about when you go off in your own little world like that?"
"Stuff," the blonde replied cryptically, shifting to rise smoothly to his feet, still holding onto his sitar.
"Like?" Xigbar asked, one brow arched in seemingly genuine curiosity.
Did curiosity count as an emotion? Demyx wondered. He hesitated for a moment, and then shrugged. "Things that don't concern you."
"Keeping secrets from me now?" the Freeshooter teased, uncrossing his arms and pushing away from the railing, "And here I thought we were friends."
Demyx studied him for a moment, teal eyes narrowing slightly. There was a reason he didn't share his thoughts sometimes, and usually no one ever bothered to ask him what he was thinking at any given time, so he usually didn't have to worry. This was different though. Sure he talked to Xigbar about a lot of things, and they got along better than Demyx did with most of the other Organization members, but he'd never really been pressed to tell what he was thinking before. It was a change, and it made him curious-and if Xemnas told him curiosity wasn't an emotion, then Xemnas could shove it.
"Everyone's entitled to their own private thoughts," the Nocturne pointed out, shifting a bit from one foot to the other. "Besides," he added, attempting a joke at his own expense, "This is me we're talking about-how interesting could it be?"
His comment received the briefest of smirks, but Xigbar's gaze was calculating, making Demyx wonder if he'd done something wrong again without realizing it and II had been sent to lecture him or something. That really didn't seem like it fit though-if the Freeshooter had been sent here to reprimand him, he would have gotten to the point by now, wouldn't he? Or he would have at least brought it up, right?
Demyx squirmed again underneath the weight of Xigbar's gaze, taking a step back. He wished the man would just say something, because there was that familiar silence pressing against his eardrums again, and he remembered full well what being uneasy had felt like once upon a time-a lot like now.
"Nothin' interesting at all?" the older Nobody asked, advancing a step to make up for the gap Demyx had created between them.
"Nope, nothing interesting at all," Demyx confirmed, subconsciously moving another step back, and thought quickly to change the subject, "So what brings you here anyway?" Seconds after he spoke, he mentally cursed himself for his stupidity, knowing this wouldn't go as he had intended.
"Scaring you, remember?" Xigbar said with a smirk, moving another step closer, "I'm curious now though."
"Curious about what?" the Nocturne decided to play dumb for the moment, stepping back yet again. He was definitely feeling uncomfortable-something he hadn't experienced around Xigbar since way back when he'd first joined the Organization and he had been intimidated by the man before learning of his laid back nature.
"Why you won't answer my question," Xigbar said, following after the blonde as he retreated.
"Geez, fuck, it's not even really that interesting," Demyx said with a nervous laugh. There was something predatory about the Freeshooter's movements and gaze, and it made him think that he was the hunted one here. His back hit the wall, and he paled a little, though did his best to keep any traces of…whatever counted as emotions for them off of his face. "You're wasting your time, really."
"It's only wasting my time if I had something better to do, which I don't," Xigbar told him, advancing until he was directly in front of the younger Nobody.
Demyx held his sitar in front of him like it was a shield, grateful that it could keep at least some space between him and Xigbar. "I'm sure you could still come up with something better, target practice or something," he was grasping at straws now, and beginning to wonder if keeping his thoughts to himself was really all that important, all things considered.
"Did that already," the Freeshooter informed him, leaning over to rest his hands on the wall on either side of Demyx's head.
Standing straight, Xigbar was a few scarce inches taller than him, but now they were practically eye to eye, and Demyx distinctly felt trapped. Not like someone could really escape from Xigbar anyway unless he was being generous-he did control space after all.
The blonde swallowed, pulling his head back until there was no where left to go, but he refused to look away from the other man's gaze-that would have shown submission, and though that was usually a wise thing for Demyx to do, he wasn't sure what submitting would cause right now. "Well, uhm, then…" he had no idea what to say, really, he could just cling to his sitar and hope that Xigbar would back off so that they could laugh this whole thing off and pretend it never happened.
"So what were you thinking about?" Xigbar asked him yet again.
Think quickly, think quickly. Something, anything. Demyx thought to himself as he tried to figure out something to say-he wasn't going to tell the truth, he couldn't do that. His private thoughts were his own, and these were especially things he was wary about sharing. "The ocean," he blurted out abruptly, cursing himself as soon as he spoke for not taking more time to not sound like he was lying, "I was thinking about the ocean."
The Freeshooter arched a brow, considering this. "Really now?" he asked eventually.
"Yeah, really," Demyx said, nodding, "Like I said, nothing that interesting."
"Then why was the question so hard to answer?" Xigbar asked with what sounded to Demyx like a low purr, as if he knew the Nocturne was lying.
"Because we're all entitled to our private thoughts," the blonde said, simply repeating what he'd said earlier and hoping it would be answer enough.
Xigbar gazed at him for a long moment, seeming to study him, and though his confidence was wavering, Demyx still refused to look away-breaking eye contact at this point would definitely give him away as a liar. He'd lied enough times in the past to be fully aware of this and to know how to fool people.
At last, the older man nodded a little, drawing back with a friendly ruffle of Demyx's hair. "Alright," he said simply, "It was a nice tune, by the way."
Demyx blinked a few times, caught off guard by Xigbar's sudden change of attitude-if possible, he was even more confused now than he'd been before. "Uhm…thanks…" he managed, struggling to regain his I'm just a dumb, lazy bastard façade-he was lazy, yes, but not stupid.
"Catch ya later, kid," Xigbar said, and then he was gone, leaving Demyx to wonder what the hell had just happened.
