1. Random Thoughts upon a Starry Night (Alipin – Shamrock)
When did it start? When did I realize? You've asked you yourself these questions and always ended up with nothing but that the thoughts of that he's important to you and that's all that really mattered.
"Hey, Tori. Can you we have ramen for dinner tonight?"
"You do realize that we don't have enough ingredients right?"
"Oh, too bad."
Time and time again, you had wondered if he knows just much you're wrapped around his fingers.
"Eh? I thought we didn't have enough ingredients."
"I managed to put some things together, so eat up."
"Really? Yay! Tori's cooking is the best!"
How you'd go through the Gates of Heaven and Hell for him just so you could stay by his side and see that bright smile directed at you and only you.
"T-Tori," he was blushing and breathless against you as you tighten your hold around him and shower him with light tender kisses.
"Chiaki," you whisper against his ear eliciting a shudder from him.
You doubt if he knows how much he frequents your nightly slumbers, how each time he allowed you an embrace, your heart swelled to the point of breaking into beautiful pieces when you realized it has all been a dream.
"But I'm tired."
"Quit being such a lazy bum and get up already!"
He was an absolute whiner. He's a self absorbed brat that could do nothing for himself. He had practically turned you into his personal slave and somehow, you wouldn't have it any other way.
"You know Tori, you really should smile more."
You have long admitted it. You're not the most expressive of people, you're not the type to display such things so openly like him.
"You really need to control yourself Yoshino. You're a grown man for goodness sake."
"Well, sorry for being such an irresponsible grown-up. I'm not you, you know."
Perhaps that is why you two would often argue like cats and dogs.
"Wow! The stars are really beautiful tonight. Don't you think so Tori?" he exclaimed making you look up above the starry heavens with his smiling face at hindsight illuminated by silver moonlight.
"Beautiful," you breathed out as your gaze settled on him.
"I know. Hey, Tori do you think there are gonna be falling stars tonight? I wanna make a wish," he said while you decided to humor him and ask what he wanted to wish for.
"That you'll always be by my side." Pure and simple, you're washed away by such innocent words.
"Idiot. Why would you wish for something that's already there?" you remarked as you engulf him in one tight warm embrace.
"T-That's – " You didn't let him finish as you kissed him for the first time tonight.
"I'll always be by your side. Even if I have to take all the stars for you to wish upon I'll do it," you could only smile as he tried to sputter a proper retort.
"You're the only one I will always love. Never forget that, Chiaki," you whispered as you tighten your embrace and deepen your kiss.
-END-
2. Confessions of a Childhood Sweetheart (Marry Your Daughter – Brian McKnight)
You stood outside an all too familiar threshold, you could feel your heart banging against your chest while you hesitantly rang the doorbell.
One.
Two.
Three.
You count the seconds as you prepare of what's to come.
This isn't going to be easy.
"Oh, Yoshiyuki-kun. What brings you here? Is Chiaki with you?" she greeted you warmly while expectantly searching the area behind you for her son.
"Actually, I came alone. Yoshino-san, there's something I want to discuss with you."
"Okay, come in then." Surprise was evident in her features as you entered the house, briefly you wonder if she could hear your hammering heart.
"Um, is Chinatsu here?"
"No, she's out with some friends. Why is she the reason you're here?" she asked as the expectant light in her eyes shined once more.
She had always been a very frank woman and she did not hide her intentions of matchmaking you with her daughter.
"No. Actually, it's about your son."
It wasn't like you had any aversions towards the female sibling and perhaps in some other world or lifetime where your heart's not so tightly bound to his you might actually reciprocate her feelings.
But this is the current world and you can't do anything but accept the chains Fate as bounded you with.
"Did Chiaki do something? If so, I apologize for him, that boy can be so much trouble at times." Worry marred her eyes while you hurriedly assured her that her son didn't do anything to have caused you trouble other than the usual late submissions and slow progression in his works.
"No, he did nothing wrong."
Well…except maybe of the fact that he made me fall in love with him.
"Then what do want to talk to me about?"
"You'd better sit down." Her confusion was evident but nevertheless she sat done on the nearby sofa.
Here goes nothing.
"I'm in love with your son."
The words spill from your lips like water from a broken dam, you soon found yourself retelling your love life to her and with as little detail as possible because the last thing you need is her kicking you out screaming and demanding you to get away from her son. Yet ironically, somehow the fact that his mother actually listened to you – instead of cutting you off at the first statement with a solid no like any person should have – made you even more nervous than you already are.
"So, I humbly ask for your permission," you end with your heart beating as fast as ever, faster perhaps as you await her reply.
"You know Yoshiyuki-kun, you sound like asking for Chiaki's hand in marriage." The statement made you freeze and blush.
I might as well have. You realize as you allowed her to continue.
"You do realize you are both men."
"Yes. I have."
"Does Chiaki know you're here?" The question was a simple yes or no but somehow your throat felt drier than any desert.
"No. I came with my own will," you swallow a gulp of saliva hoping it was enough to quell the rising level of fear and anxiety you're feeling under her scrutinizing gaze.
"A year's a long time you do realize that." Her eyes narrow while the message, 'why now?' was conveyed in startling clarity.
"Yes. I do."
"Do your parents know about this… decision?"
A pause and hesitation as she herself searched for the right words to make thing little meeting less heavy and awkward for them both.
"They've been… informed."
"For how long?" The words were sharper than it should have, denoting the simmering emotions beneath the surface.
"About a month ago."
"So I'm not alone in this." The answer seemed to have calmed her although only a just a little bit, not that you blame her, after all it's not every day your son's childhood friend confesses their true relationship to you.
"Yoshino-san, I – "
"How are they taking it? You're an only son after all," she cut you off before you could even muster an apology let alone an explanation.
"They're working on it."
"Then you obviously can't expect me to be quick about this decision as well, Chiaki's may not be my only child but he is my only son."
"I understand Yoshino-san."
A beat of silence.
Both of you lost within you own musings.
"Yoshiyuki-kun, may I ask? Why him?"
"I honestly don't know." It was the truth, it was a mystery even for you because you just happen to fall in love with the most childish adult known to man.
"I'm serious here. Gender aside, my son is a good for nothing free-loader. He can't even take care of himself properly," she said in a snappish tone as if convincing you to change your mind and find a better person for you.
But I can't.
"I'd be lying if I'd deny such words. He's like a dependent child and can be so careless that you wonder how he managed to survive this long."
Because, if it were that easy, you would have forgotten such feelings a long time ago and God only knows how much pain you went through just to preserve that special bond between you two.
"That's because of you Yoshiyuki-kun."
The comment made you pause, a fluttering swell of hope grew within.
"You've been taking care of my Chiaki for so long now and I sometimes wish Chiaki would be born as a girl so I could have you as my son-in-law." A small smile of reminiscence laced her lips only to be broken when her sharpened gaze got directed at you.
"But he's not a girl. He's a man and if memory served me right, he had some girlfriends in the past and if what you've said was true that you've loved him ever since you could remember, then why did you let him date other people. Also, you've dated a bit too in the past."
"I wanted him to be happy, he deserved a happy normal life," you conceded, and somehow the fact that he might change his mind touched a nerve with you.
"What changed then?"
"I don't know. I just found myself unable to let him go."
Your thoughts were shifting on every possibility available.
What if I didn't confess?
What if I've let Yanase have him?
What if –
The questions were endless and each prospect of not having him in your arms made your heart clench tightly in retort.
"You really do love him, don't you?"
The tone was so low the words barely registered as you were lost amidst the sea of endless possibilities.
"Without him, I honestly don't know what would happen to me." A mere whisper, a display of vulnerability you rarely allowed yourself.
"I want to be clear about this, if Chiaki ever decides to break up and date girls – "
"I'll gladly step back if that really makes him happy," you cut her off this time knowing full well of the weight you had chosen to bare and the sacrifices you are ready to make.
"The path you chose isn't an easy one, you realize that." It was the closest thing you can get to an acceptance.
"Yes, I have long realized that fact," you replied with a smile while your heart sang with silent joy.
"But I'm warning you. You better take care of him properly or else."
"I will. I promise. Thank you, Yoshino-san."
"There isn't there much of a choice, knowing how long you two been together, you'd probably continue even without my blessings." Another blush laced your cheeks as she continued on with her words.
"You better go, Chiaki might be getting worried," she sighed, showing the toll the conversation gave her.
"He'll probably be asleep when I get back." You answered in nonchalance catching her attention once more.
"Eh, you're already living together?" Her eyes widened with shock while you try and grapple for an appropriate answer.
"Um, well, he sometimes spends the night there but he still lives alone."
How articulate of you. You berate yourself as his mother eyed you with reprimand.
"Yoshiyuki-kun."
"Yes, Yoshino-san?" you suddenly felt like a child all over again.
"Don't you think it's a little too late for excuses?"
"I apologize, Yoshino-san."
"It's all right, just go home already."
With those words you made your exit with a bow. You stepped out of into the night with a steady heart and unspoken joy upon your eyes while a new beginning was laid ahead of you with promise.
-END-
3. Pending andUnspoken (Nandito Lang Ako – Shamrock)
You've always watched him from a distance, even thought your just one arm's reach away you still chose to watch him from afar because that's the nearest you could bare without wanting or expecting anymore than necessary.
You love him. It was a fact not even the very heavens could deny and every time temptation reared its ugly head you instantly struggle to quell the rising flutter of hope in your heart because you two should be nothing more than best friends.
Nothing would come out of it. You have told yourself this for so many times yet it refused to ingrain itself because as the years pass you only fell deeper into him.
You once tried to confess during that one drunken night in high school where the chains you had bound yourself loosened with that heady influence only to be stopped by the last remnants of sanity and fear.
You're a coward and you know it because you always fear for that moment where it would be too unbearable to take and you'll spill your heart and very soul to him only to be rejected and forever be banished from his side.
You listen. You always listened while he babbled on with the silliest of things and complains on you not telling him anything anymore. You tell him that he doesn't even give you chance to talk and he argues with the fact all you do is nag when given the chance so why bother.
He can be such a walking contradiction.
You wonder which is worse, him being totally oblivious to your feelings as narrates his relationship woes to you or he finds outs and you suddenly find yourself alone with his back against you. You always picked the former because despite his claims on your sadistic tendencies, you've been a masochist ever since you realized the love you felt for him isn't normal and would remain unrequited.
"Ne, Tori. Do you think I should quit school?"
Just when you thought he doesn't want you by his side anymore he came to you with wide eyes and an open heart.
He'll never know how happy you were that day.
Even thought you don't say much except nag at him, you'll always be there for him.
You'll always stay by his side.
Your heart will always belong to him.
After all, an honest heart is all you could give him.
"Hey, Tori. Why did you guys break up?"
It was a simple question.
Innocent and curious.
You met his gaze. For a second there you wanted to tell him the truth.
"Come on, we're friends aren't we?"
Just like that reality came crashing down on you once more and reminded you of your limits.
Yet still, you wanted to at least give him a part of it. A part of your heart exposed even in the slightest of manner for him to see and glimpse upon.
"Because. She's not the one I love."
Quick and to the point, yet your heart still hammered against your chest faster than ever before, you almost expected him to see through your words and ask some more only it never came.
I would want you to know, I'm just here. With everything that's within my power I will offer it all for you and you alone. You wonder if the day would come where you'll say such words steady and unafraid.
-END-
4. Looking through Green-Tinted Lenses (Next Contestant – Nickleback)
You hate this.
You hate it to the point where you could almost burst out from the all bottled up emotion inside you.
You hate it even more because with each passing day, it gets worse and worse.
It started out during that New Year's party where you didn't even want to go in the first place but since he was being such a demanding ass, you had no choice but attend.
And what did I get?
You got to see him immersed his 'work' like no tomorrow.
You get to see him being flocked and mauled by women and he didn't even give one innuendo of aversion towards their attentions.
You swore you felt something snap when he smiled at her.
Why doesn't he smile for me like that?
The anger and possessiveness of the thought caught you, it was gripping you at an intensity where you couldn't help but feel a heavy cloak coat your heart, choking you with this unknown feeling of want and bitterness.
The way the woman clung to him made your blood boil and when you smelled her perfume obstructing his scent, you snap like a twig.
He's mine.
You wanted to say the words at the moment your own mother tried matching him up with you own little sister. It was one thing for him to be pursued being matched up is another issue entirely. You could almost accept the former because even you had to agree he wasn't really a bad looking guy, in fact he's quite handsome but it would be a cold day in Hell if he thinks you're going to admit that out loud.
But my sister?
You couldn't wrap yourself around it, him being matched up with anyone aside from you made something in want to take hold of him and never let go.
Now, you're currently seeing him talk with his ex and for some unknown reason once more, you felt the familiar pang of hurt and self-doubt mingling with the incessant desire to have him all to yourself.
That's not fair.
He only has Yuu to be jealous about while you had to fight off more than a battalion's worth of women and men in the pursuit of him.
You couldn't help it. You couldn't quell the silent satisfaction when you hear someone confess their feelings to him and was given the all too familiar reply.
Rejection never sounded so sweet to the ears.
"You're not the only author I manage you know."
"Sometimes I wish I am."
You caught yourself, hoping he didn't hear the words that accidentally spilled from your mouth.
A sigh was heard and you hoped that would be the end of it.
"You know, there's no need to be jealous." The words made you sputter for a retort only to be silenced by his kiss.
"After all, I only belong to Chiaki," he whispered in that husky tone that made you shiver involuntarily.
"W-Where the hell do you get those sappy lines?" You blush to the tips of your ears as he again captured you in a kiss, leaving you breathless and begging for more.
-END-
5. Too Late to Stop (Side of a Bullet – Nickleback)
He was right there, so damn close and completely unreachable.
One touch.
That was all it would take before you could claim him, mark him as your own.
One kiss.
One kiss, a mere touch that could do more harm than good.
Temptation incarnate, you do nothing but relish upon the forbidden fruit laid before you.
"Chiaki."
It was nothing more but a mere whisper yet it carried far too much emotion and far too much pain.
You dare to move closer.
Too close.
You could almost hear the imaginary chains of control strain as you dare touch him, trace your fingers against the fine skin and silky hair.
You lean in, the scent of his breath tantalizing and teasing as you allowed yourself to be lost and relish upon the act of a stolen kiss.
It's not enough.
You move in deeper, taking far too much and pushing past through the limits just because you know it was going to your first and last chance to taste him, to have him.
Your eyes meet.
For a second you wanted to run only to find yourself moving further, ignoring everything else except your own needs and wants.
He was crying and in pain.
He doesn't know, your heart was already crumbling and breaking with each tear he had spilt.
He was begging.
You can't stop.
It's too late to stop.
He was fading, succumbing to the depths of sleep and dreams.
You allowed the solid mask to drop and reveal the pain you have long harbored.
"I have always loved you."
As you watch him sleep taking refuge within oblivion, you own tears spill, silent and bitter.
"Goodbye, Chiaki."
The tears wouldn't stop, your heart is breaking and you could do nothing but let him go.
"I'm sorry."
Too late. Too damn late, what's done is done and can never be taken back.
You lost control and you ended up losing everything that has meant to you in one single horrible moment of selfishness and lust.
What gave you the right? He was never yours to begin with. You tell yourself as you sunk deeper into bitter regret.
-END-
A/N: Hello, I'm back. I'm stuck on using the second person POV for some reason…After writing the fic with Takano and Onodera, I suddenly had the urge to do one featuring Hatori and Chiaki XD… I'm not as familiar with this pairing as with the former so I apologize for any mistakes in character as well as grammar. I'm also thinking about doing one featuring Yukina and Kisa but that may take a while…
I actually wanted to do more Chiaki but I ended up doing the majority in Hatori's POV…*sighs* the random songs are completely him and the words flow easier when I'm writing him. Strange…I didn't expect that.
Anyway, here are some notes I just want to add… feel free to ask questions if you like. You don't have to read it, if don't want to, they're just some details I like to comment on.
Story 1: Alipin means slave in English…and it basically screams Hatori all over…here is my translated version but please bear with me, Tagalog is not my native dialect so I may interpret it differently. I accept corrections just fine. ^-^
STANZA 1
Di ko man maamin - I may not admit it
Ikaw ay mahalaga sa akin - You're important to me
Di ko man maisip – I may not understand
Sa pagtulog ikaw ang panaginip – When I sleep, you are my dreams
Malabo man ang aking pag-iisip – My thinking may not be clear
Sana pakingan mo ang sigaw nitong damdamin – Hopefully, you'll listen to the intensity of this feeling
CHORUS
Ako'y alipin kahit hindi batid - I'm your slave even if you may not know it
Aaminin ko minsan ako'y manhid - I admit that I can be insensitive at times
Sana at iyong maririnig – Hopefully and you'll hear
Sayong yakap ako'y nasasabik - That I long for your embrace
STANZA 2
Ayoko sa iba – I don't want others
Sayo ako di magsasawa – I don't get tired of you
Anu man and iyong sabihin – Whatever you'll say
Umasa ka ito ay diringin – You can count on it being heard
Madalas man na parang aso't pusa – We always seem like dogs and cats
Giliw, sa piling mo ako ay masaya – Love, I'm happy being with you
*Repeat CHORUS*
STANZA 3
Pilit man abutin ang mga tala – Trying desperately to reach the stars
Basta sa akin wag kang mawawala – As long as you won't be gone from me
*Repeat CHORUS*
STANZA 4
Pagkat ikaw lang ang nais makatabi – Because you're the only one I want to be by my side
Malamig man o mainit ang gabi – May the nights be cold or hot
Nais ko sana iparating – I just want to let you know
Na ikaw lamang and siyang aking iibigin - You the only one I'm going to love
Story 2: If you've watch Ep 12.5 then you know Chinatsu just fine… she's Chiaki's little sister and has a crush on Hatori, not that I blame her… Hatori is really handsome… I was kinda surprised that the length of this one, it can actually act as a standalone fic…
Story 3: 'Nandito lang Ako' means 'I'm just here'. This is situated before the confession probably years before it…Once again, another song for Hatori… here's the translate version, but if you don't want to read, it is fine with me…
STANZA 1
Nais ko iyong malaman – I want you to know
Ngunit di ko naman pwedeng sabihin – But I'm not allowed to say it
Paano mo maiintindihan kung di ko rin pwedeng aminin –How can you understand if I'm not allowed to confess it
CHORUS 1
Ngunit kahit puno nga lihim ang aking pagkatao – But even if I have a lot of secrets
Maging ang buhay kong ito'y ibibigay sayo – Even my life, I give it to you
CHORUS 2
Tibay at lakas ng loob – Strength and confidence
Ang iaalay, para lang sayo – Will be offered, just for you
Nais kong malaman mo – I want you to know
May karamay ka – You have somebody
Nandito lang ako – I'm just here
STANZA 2
Ngunit ganito ko magmahal –But this is the way I love
Kahit lagi lang nasasaktan – Even if I'm always hurt
Ang tanging pangako ko ay tapat ang puso kong ito – My only promise is that, my heart is loyal
*Repeat CHORUS 1and 2*
At kahit na magkaiba and ating mundo – And even if our worlds are different
Pipilitin ko magpalapit sa iyo – I will do everything to be near you
*Repeat CHORUS 2*
Nandito lang ako – I'm just here
Story 4: I really wanted to give Chiaki at least one story so decided to write this one up even though it could fit with Hatori just fine… Hopefully, he is not so OC here…
Story 5: This is the hardest to write, I didn't know which view point to base this song on, it's really full of angst and I just don't know where to place it. I briefly considered writing this one in Yuu's viewpoint but I changed my mind since I still don't know his character that well yet…I decided to go with the rape scene… I know lots of people didn't like this one considering how things happened between them but I find it weird since people didn't seem to have any trouble accepting the 'force the uke against his will' scenes in mangas while they basically flame it in novels… just an observation.
Okay… LONGEST author's note EVER! Thank you very much for reading… Please leave a review, they are greatly appreciated by any writer. ^-^
P.S. Yup, there's more… I don't own SiH and even the songs featured in this fic. XD
