Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to the wonderful J.K. Rowling – not me (in case you were wondering ;)).
Beyond the Veil
Prologue
She was 14 when she saved his life for the first time.
She was 15 when she fell in love with him.
She was 16 when he died.
She was 25 when she saved him a second time.
Some people fall easily in and out of love. Some people fall in love, get their hearts broken, and are somehow able to move on. Some become bitter others are able to find happiness again eventually – at least for a little while. And then there are some people who fall in love and when that love dies a part of them dies with it.
She was 15 when she fell in love with him. The kind of love that consumes all of you. The kind of love where you think you can't live without the other person. The kind of love people would say she was too young to feel, to understand, to know about. He was 19 years older than she was. He thought that she merely had a crush on him. He liked her. He liked her intelligence and brilliance. But he saw her for what she was – a teenage girl - lovely, so very lovely – but also so inexperienced and naive.
He died before she had the chance to fall out of love with him and move on.
He died before they could find out what time would bring.
If they had been given more time… who knows what might have happened… who knows…
part 1
Hermione had a hard time deciding on a career. She had too many interests. Finally she decided to become an Unspeakable. They had offered her a position. They always offered a position to the best graduates of Hogwarts- well not always- they did if a student stood out and somehow sparked their interest. She had certainly sparked their interest. And they had sparked hers. Even though the interview had been quite vague on their part. There was talk about research and experiments, trying to solve mysteries she couldn't even fathom . It sounded challenging and fantastical- so how could she refuse?
Hermione never regretted her decision to become an Unspeakable. She was finally around people who could keep up with her intellectually – people who she actually had trouble to keep up with. There was so much more to learn – so many things to explore – she loved every minute of it. She worked long hours because she forgot time when she immerged herself in a subject. When Ron asked her to chose between her career and him – there was no doubt in her mind what she would chose. She cared for Ron, she had tried hard to make things work with him, but they weren't well suited. He wasn't interested in most things she was passionate about and vice versa. He wanted a family- she wanted a career. But above all he wasn't … well it won't do to dwell on that. So they broke off and after Ron had gotten over his disappointment and started dating Susan Bones they got back to being friends.
When one of her co-workers got seriously ill, it was quite by chance that Hermione was assigned to work with a group of people that were doing research and experiments on portals. The wizarding world of today knows only very little about that subject and what they know is believed to be mostly myths or conjecture.
She read through accounts of people who went into caves and when they came out, after what felt only minutes for them, years had past in the outside world. She read about mirrors that were supposed to enable you to speak with beings from other dimensions or planets. Certain places on the earth that, when you go there at a specific moment, would transport you into the past or the future or to parallel worlds and dimensions. She soon realized that this topic was a bottomless pit. She had to read up on theories about time and dimensions and parallel worlds – things she had only come across in the form of fantasy or science fiction.
One day she found the notes of a certain Theophilus Hayhurst. He had lost his daughter to the Veil and had subsequently dedicated his life to studying it. He had travelled around the world to find out what the scholars of his time had to say about it- which wasn't much- so he had turned to legends and old wives' tales. He disappeared around his 70th birthday and some believed that he died on his travels while others believed that he went through the Veil as well to find his daughter.
Hermione learned that the Veil, actually the Veil of Arawn – a celtic god of the Underworld -had many names, depending on what people believed that it was. Some called it the Gateway, others the Cloak of Death and others the Shade of Time. All quite cheesy names in Hermione's opinion so she preferred to just keep calling it the Veil. She was quite shocked to learn that only very few people who studied the object seemed to believe that those who crossed it actually died. There seemed to be two main parties, those who believed that the Veil transports those who pass it to a different point in time and those who believed it transports you to some kind of parallel world or dimension.
Hermione started to look for accounts of people who had travelled through time whether voluntarily or involuntarily. But all those people had different means to be dislodged from their original timeline. It was of course possible that people would be sent so far into the future that their accounts didn't exist yet or that you forgot everything once you entered the Veil. However, Hermione thought it more likely that it would transport you to another dimension or world.
After an indept analysis of the Veil and tracking down every scholar and mystic who had studied the object in more or less detail, Hermione came to the conclusion that she wouldn't get anywhere unless she went through the Veil herself.
part 2
It wasn't an easy decision. After all she didn't know what would await her on the other side. But her curiosity and the chance – however slim- to see him again made her do it. She had studied the memories of those who had been there when Sirius crossed the Veil (those who still lived and agreed to help her anyway). She had been told that Bellatrix hit Sirius with an Avada Kedavra before he went through the Veil. But after she had studied the five memories she was able to obtain, she was fairly certain that he went through the Veil before the curse was able to hit him. Which meant that he most likely wasn't dead when he went through. Which then meant that there might be the chance, no matter how small, that he was out there somewhere and she might be able to bring him back.
She didn't tell anyone what she was planning on doing. They wouldn't let her go through with it. And now, standing in front of the Veil she had to admit that it was, after all, quite an insane idea.
She took a deep breath and took a step forward. She felt a prickling sensation all over her body. She stopped to take in her surroundings. She stood on what she assumed was grass, above her was some sort of sky and in the distance she was able to make out the silhouette of a town. The only colours that seemed to exist where different shades of dark blue and red.
She turned and was startled by the sight of a very tall woman who was watching her silently. The woman was easily over 2 meters in height, her dress was dark blue while her skin and her long hair were of a greyish blue, her lips and eyes were of a darker blue while her fingernails were red. Her facial expression didn't give anything away.
Finally after a while the woman spoke, her voice surprisingly deep: „ You've come here voluntarily."
„Yes", Hermione answered, „ is that so unusual?"
The woman shrugged: „It happens from time to time, though nodoby comes here by accident."
„Where am I?" Hermione inquired.
„This is Maniatua." The woman replied.
Hermione sighed this didn't help her at all.
„You are several million light years away from your home planet."
„Aha", Hermione couldn't really think of anything to say to that.
„This place is different for each soul that comes here." The woman continued cryptically.
„Soul? So I am dead?" Hermione blanched.
„No you are not."
„I've come here to find someone – maybe you can help me?" Hermione sounded hopeful.
The woman gave her a hard stare before she answered: „ I cannot help you, everyone has to go through this alone."
„What exactly is this?" Hermione asked.
„This means something else to everyone who comes here, as I have explained to you before." The woman answered. „ I will leave you to it then."
„But…" , Hermione started, but the woman had already vanished.
Hermione sighed and started walking towards the town. There were only few people in the streets once she reached it. Some of them looked human, others not so much. She tried to talk to some of them, to ask if they had seen Sirius or for information about this place but none of them seemed willing to talk to her.
Finally she reached a big building and upon entering she realized that it was a library. She gasped and started browsing for books that would give her more information about that place. She didn't know how much time had passed, it could have been hours or days when she suddenly heard a whisper: „What have you come here for?" Startled she looked around but there was no one there. She continued reading. She kept on reading and reading more and more but it seemed that she was unable to absorb any of the information. Desperately she reached for yet another book and then another one and so on. When suddenly she heard that whisper again: „What are you looking for?"
She turned again and this time she saw a small man in a monk's cowl.
„I am looking for answers," she replied impatiently.
„Answers to what?" The monk asked.
„What this place is." Hermione said desperately.
„Why do you think you could find those answers in a book?" inquired the monk.
„Because you can find the answers to anything in a book? The knowledge I got from books saved my life and that of my friends during the war" Hermione replied grumpily.
„That is only partly true. Your intuition, compassion and bravery and your friends saved you as well. And you do know better than that, you know that some things have to be lived and experienced in order to understand them."
Hermione started crying. She knew that the monk was right. But a book gives you the opportunity to learn or to escape reality - to live life second handedly without being in danger of getting hurt. She was afraid to go back out there. She wanted to stay in here with her books- they have always offered her sanctuary.
The monk gently took her by the hand and led her outside. Hermione followed him dazed. Once she was outside the monk went back in and the heavy wooden doors fell shut behind him, and Hermione knew that she wouldn't be able to go back inside.
So she started wandering through the streets of the town looking for Sirius. After what seemed like days of not finding him she started to doubt herself. Maybe he wasn't there. How was she supposed to ever find him? Maybe he didn't want to be found by her. She had failed him. She had failed her friends. Why did she come here in the first place? It was a stupid idea. Why had she failed to just let him go, everybody else had been able to. Only she had failed to move on…She was a failure, failure, failure…. the mantra repeated itself over and over in her head until she broke down and sobbed. After a while the sobbing subsided and the tears streamed down her face silently. She rocked back and forth to the rhythm in her head that told her repeatedly that she was a failure – failure- failure.
Suddenly she heard a young voice: „ Why are you crying?"
Hermione lifted her head and saw a little girl standing in front of her. „Because I failed to do what I came here for." She replied bitterly.
„How do you know that?" The girl asked.
„I can't find who I am looking for." Hermione answered slightly impatient.
„Well then keep looking." The girl replied as if it was the simplest thing in the world.
„There is no use, I've looked everywhere." Hermione sobbed.
„You can only fail if you stop trying too early, or if you never start trying. Often it is not even that important whether we fail at something or not and other times failure can be the best thing that happens to us because then other, even better, opportunities can arise. Or we fail because we didn't really want that something in the first place." The girl said breezily.
Hermione looked up, the girl was right, she could only fail if she stopped trying too early. She got up, looking for the girl to thank her but the girl was already gone.
Hermione started walking again. After a while she stopped thinking about where to go and simply walked where her feet seemed to be taking her. They led her out of the town and after a while she reached a red sanded beach. She sat down and stared at the dark blue waves that came rolling in and out for a while. It was quite hypnotic.
Then suddenly she felt a stinging pain in her side. She turned around and saw that a figure that looked like a huge man, but had a fish head instead of a human head, was attacking her from a short distance.
She drew her wand and got to her feet and shot a stinging hex back at him.
She screamed: „ Why are you attacking me?"
„What are you doing at my beach?" The fishman creature roared.
„I'm sorry I didn't know that this is your beach." Hermione yelled.
„And you expect me to believe that?" With that the fishman creature started to attack her in earnest.
Hermione was trying to dodge his attacks and sent some curses his way. But the creature was too strong and she was getting weaker and weaker, she wouldn't be able to hold this up for much longer.
Before she lost conciousness she heard an angry male voice: „ Arbulus what do you think you're doing get back here."
When she woke up again, the first thing she heard was soft giggeling. She opened her eyes she was still at the beach, the water around her was shallow and the waves kept rolling in and out. The giggles belonged to two mermaids who had flaming red hair and dark blue glittering tails.
„Oh look she is awake." One of them said to the other one.
„Such beautiful hair." The other one sighed while running her fingers through Hermione's hair.
Hermione lifted her upper body to rest on her forearms.
„Never mind Arbulus", the first one said, „he attacks everything and everyone, he is a bit strange", she whispered that last part giggling again.
Hermione assumed that Arbulus was the fishman creature who attacked her earlier.
„Well," the second mermaid said, „ what are you waiting for? You are very close now to find who you came for." And with that she winked suggestively at Hermione and disappeared into the waves.
„She is right, your hair is beautiful." The other mermaid said while running her fingers wistfully through Hermione's hair. „Good luck", she giggled again and followed her companion into the waves.
Hermione got up and started running. She was close they said. She was soon out of breath, so she continued in a slower pace. After a while she saw someone in the distance sitting on a dune. Maybe he or she could help her. When she got closer she saw that the person on the dune was a man with dark hair that went past his shoulders. Hermione's breath hitched. Was it possible? The man turned his head when he heard her approaching. She looked into his grey eyes, it was him. Now that she finally stood in front of him she didn't know what to say. She looked at him, he looked better than he had during their aquaintance, he was less haggard and pale and he looked as if… as if he was at peace with the world.
„You look familiar", Sirius said.
„It's me Hermione, Sirius."
„Ah yes Hermione, the girl who saved my life once, my godson's brilliant friend", he smiled at her. „Well you are not a girl anymore", he observed.
She blushed. „I've come to bring you back home."
„Back home?" He asked, as if he didn't remember where home was.
„Yes to Harry."
„Ah yes Harry, how is he?"
„He is well, he married Ginny and they have two children. He misses you though. We won the war Sirius. Well we lost many friends..but, but we won in the end…" , she started babbling.
„That's good then", Sirius smiled.
„So?" Hermione looked at him expectantly.
„So what?" Sirius asked.
„Well, are you going to come back with me?"
„Do you know how to get back?"
„Ahem, no." Hermione hadn't really thought about how to get back, she had sort of assumed that all she had to do was find Sirius and then the opportunity to get back would present itself. Apparently it didn't quite work like that.
„Haven't you tried to get back, Sirius?"
„No I haven't.?
„Why not", she asked.
He looked thoughtful for a moment: „It never occured to me. I feel at peace here."
They sat together in silence for a while.
„So"? Sirius asked turning to her with a pensive look on this face.
„So what?"
„So why did you come here to find me?"
„I've become an Unspeakable and I was doing research on portals and…"
„You must have passed through the Veil in order to get here."
„Yes", she whispered.
„All in the name of knowledge or to get your best friend's old godfather back?" He sounded sceptical.
„Well a bit of both", she admitted.
He let out a low whistle.
„What?" Hermione asked.
„Nothing, it's just that's a lot of dedication."
Hermione didn't answer and just stared out at the sea.
„I didn't come here only for those reasons… I …I'm actually quite fond of you."
He barked out a laugh. „I know that you had a crush on me back then, you weren't exactly subtle. Oh don't be embarrassed", he said when she blushed, „it was cute and quite flattering."
„It was…is more than a crush", she mumbled.
He looked at her in surprise: „ Hermione you barely knew me, what is it about me that you like so much?"
„I don't know, I like you for what… who you are… I can't really pinpoint it exactly."
„But it must have been a long time ago."
„9 years."
„9 years … that's a long time Hermione."
„I just…it never felt right with any other man… and, and I couldn't stop thinking about what might have been."
„But Hermione I am almost 20 years older than you are."
„Never mind can we stop talking about this please?"
„Fine."
„We should start thinking about how to get back instead." She sounded choked. But she refused to cry not here, not now, not in front of him. She wasn't sure what she had expected. Maybe that he would take her in his arms and tell her that he loved her as well. It seemed so stupid to her now. Then another horrible thought crossed her mind. What if he didn't want to come back with her. She had simply assumed… but he told her, he felt at peace here…
Sirius shot her a worried glance but didn't say anything other than: „Sure thing, if there is a way back we'll find it."
She exhaled and relaxed going into problem solving mode. This she could do - solve problems. Deal with unwanted emotions - not so much. Find a way out of a hopeless situation – no problem.
And so their quest on finding their way back home began. They started wandering through this strange world. They saw places of incredible beauty, like the waterfalls of Tumaril. The water was opaque and looked like a million glittering blue stars. But there were also places that filled one with dread – like the pits of fire. They were inside an enormous black mountain and except for some black raven-like birds there wasn't any other form of life – even the air seemed to stand still – the heat on top of the mountain was almost unbearable.
They only ever met the shadows of other beings during their travels – other than that they only had each other for company. It didn't take long for the teenage Hermione that had still lived in Sirius memory to be replaced by the woman Hermione, who had come to save him.
He covertely observed how her breasts softly moved in rhythm with her strides or how the soft curve of her hip seemed to call to him, drawing him in, he was fascinated by her long curls that seemed to beg him to run his hands through them.
Whenever he looked into her soft brown eyes, that contained little specks the colour of golden honey, he felt like he was falling deeper and deeper with no ground to break his fall.
It wasn't just her female body that enticed him. Her mind was just as seductive if not more so. She had been brilliant by the age of 14 – heck for all he know she had been brilliant since the day she had been conceived. Now time and surviving a war had added experience, confidence and maturity to her brilliance as well. She told him about their adventures and he was surprised to learn that she had quite a vindictive streak and an impish sense of humour – which was his undoing.
He kissed her for the first time in front of the singing caves of Bamimur and she sighed contentedly and melted into him. They made love there. Caressing, kissing and sucking every little bit of skin on each others bodies – dragging out the foreplay until they thought they were going to die if they didn't connect their bodies. He entered her slowly – enjoing every second of this feeling of his cock enveloped by her wet warmth, sucking him in. Once he was completely inside her he started moving, at a slow rhythm at first which quickly became faster and more frantic – while she was edging him on – moving her pelvis to enable him to go even deeper, meeting his thrusts – her hands on his arse squeezing and pushing to get him to fuck her harder. The only sounds that could be heard were their breathy moans and skin slapping against skin. The sensation building up more and more until they came, one shortly after the other, with cries of pleasure, shuddering from an orgasm that travelled through their whole bodies.
Sated and satisfied they fell asleep in each others arms.
Later when Hermione woke up, Sirius was gone.
part 3
She looked around, searching for him thinking that maybe he had decided to explore the area. But she couldn't find him anywhere. The caves song got louder and louder. Hermione got up and walked towards the entrance of one cave at the bottom of the rock. It was somehow drawing her in. But before she was able to enter it, a small fairy like creature stopped her.
„The one you are looking for already returned to your world", the creature said.
Hermione looked at the creature in wonder: „Then why am I still here?"
„Maybe you haven't paid yet", the creature shrugged its shoulders.
„Paid for what?" Hermione asked.
„We always have to pay for what we receive in the end, to keep things in balance", the creature answered cryptically.
„I don't have any money."
The creature started giggling. „You don't pay with money here."
„Then what do I pay with? What did Sirius pay with?" Hermione started to become desperate.
„He paid with his time… he was here for so long" the creature said with a contemplative look on its face. „You have such beautiful hair", it continued.
Hermione just stared at the creature incomprehensively, while the creature got closer and run its slender fingers through her hair.
„You will pay with your hair", the creature announced.
„My hair?" Hermione asked surprised. That seemed like a small price in comparison to what Sirius had to pay.
„Yes, your hair", the creature sounded amused now. „Don't you know that it contains all information about you – it contains your essence."
Hermione scoffed, finding that hard to believe.
The creature twined one of her curls around its fingers. „A much more intimate form of payment", it whispered.
„Well go on then, cut it off!" Hermione ordered.
The creature obeyed cackling.
Hermione woke up to the worried eyes of one of her colleagues and her boss. She felt a dull ache in her head as if something shifted and then the feeling was gone and she was able to get up and take in her surroundings. She was in the Department of Mysteries next to the Veil.
„Hermione what have you done?" her boss asked.
„I'm not sure," she murmured.
„Did you go through the Veil?" Her colleague asked.
„I must have", Hermione mumbled.
It was strange, she felt like she was losing the memories of what had just happened and tried hard to catch them, but they evaded her to a place where she couldn't follow.
„Here have some tea that'll put some life back into you," another one of her colleagues who had just entered the room said.
Hermione sipped her tea and slowly the world turned back to normal.
„If you feel up to it there is something I like to talk to you about", her boss said sternly. Turning to one of Hermione's colleagues he said: „ Bring him in, Wiley."
Wiley left and returned seconds later with a man with long dark hair and grey eyes.
„Care to explain what happend and what this is all about? You were missing for two days. And apparently he was supposed to be dead." her boss said.
Hermione's eyes widened: „ Sirius, what… how…"
„Well, I hoped you could clear up the how and the what", Sirius smirked.
„I was studying the Veil and decided that I had to get through it in order to get answers… but my memories are out of reach I can't get to them…" Hermione became quite desperate.
„Maybe it's best if you go home for now and take a few days off, you seem quite shaken," her boss sounded more kindly now.
They didn't go home immediately instead they made a little stop a few floors further up to surprise a certain Auror there.
Harry couldn't believe his eyes at first, then he thought he was dreaming, after that he contemplated if he had died and heaven looked like the ministry of magic. When he finally realized that this was real he hugged Sirius tightly while laughing and crying at the same time.
Of course he and their other friends and Sirius demanded answers from her. Answers she couldn't give. One because as an Unspeakable she wasn't allowed to talk about her research and two because she had forgotton about what had happened after she went through the Veil. Heck, she didn't even know why her hair was so short all of a sudden.
Sirius was brought up to date about what had happened since he was gone, like what happened during the war and who had married who. He was also introdced to the newest additions to the clan.
„How come you're not married?" he asked Hermione teasingly.
She tensed a little: „I'm married to my job."
He sensed that there was more to that but didn't want to press any further.
Sirius had been living with Harry and his family for a little while but he felt that he should give them some space. So he started looking for new living arrangements. Grimmauld Place wasn't an option, so he searched for a place of his own.
It was Harry who came up with the idea one night. „Say Hermione you have an extra room don't you? And your apartment is easily big enough for two people. Sirius could move in with you."
Sirius couldn't quite decipher the look on Hermione's face. So he quickly intervened and started to refuse the idea.
„Oh why not", Hermione finally said.
The next day he moved into her spare room. Sirius quickly learned that the clever but slightly uptight teenage girl that he used to know had grown into an independent, stubborn and passionate young woman with a wicked sense of humour.
He soon came to covertly admire her feminine charms and to openly admire her brilliant mind. That she put up with him and laughed about his silly jokes were just two added bonuses. He delighted in flirting with her teasingly since it made her blush the most intersting shades of red. Yet despite all of that, it took Sirius by surprise when he caught himself one day jealously starring daggers at another man who was animatedly talking to Hermione. He was equally surprised by the relief he felt, when he learnt that the other man was happily married and only one of Hermione's colleagues.
Something had to be done. The problem was that when he took her out to dinner or to a concert she didn't realize that he meant to date her. It seemed that he had been placed quite firmly in the just friends-zone.
After another one of their outings she failed to recognize as a date (to her credit Sirius had failed to mention that that was what it was supposed to be)they walked along one of the canals belonging to Little Venice. She loved wandering around Muggle London since nobody recognized her there and he had come to appreciate it as well. It was a sunny but crisp day in December. She was in a pensive mood and he used the hand that he had casually placed on her shoulder, to tug on one of her curls. He loved those curls and was glad that they had started to grow back. One night, when they had both been slightly tipsy, he had made her promise to never cut her hair short again.
She looked up and smiled brilliantly at him. That smile of hers, for which he would do anything. He smiled back and pulled her a bit closer towards him. Her cheeks were flushed from the cold and her brown eyes shown brightly with little specks the colour of golden honey in it. Those eyes they drew him in and he felt like he was falling endlessly. Then his gaze flickered to her mouth and he moved in and closed the gap between them. Their first kiss was quite short more a peck than a kiss but he immediately went in for another kiss and then another one until they were completely wrapped up in each other, tasting each other.
They made love for the first time that night. It was frantic and fast they had been waiting so long for this moment that they thought they might burst if they went slow. They made love again and again that night – taking their time after that rushed first time – discovering each others bodies through caresses and kisses. He took her agonizingly slowly basking in the feeling of her tight warm cave surrounding him, welcoming him…and she rode him hard until they both cried out their relief.
Sated and satisfied they fell asleep in each others arms.
Later when Hermione woke up, Sirius was still there sleeping peacefully with one arm wrapped around her.
Hermione never solved the mystery of the Veil. But sometimes she had fantastical dreams about a place with singing caves and waterfalls where the water looked like a million glittering blue stars…
