Always

Severus couldn't help it.

He never actively tried to hate his students: it was just that the brats whom he taught were often either insufferable show-offs or incompetent nitwits. It was hard to love his students when they were simply plain annoying.

But the moment he set eyes on the Potter brat and his friends, he felt hatred boil up in him for the first time. True hatred, and not just irritation.

The Granger girl was the first person he had complaints about. She was such a know-it-all, always so enthusiastic in class, always speaking even when he didn't call on her (and he refused to call on her for that very reason). He had grown to hate that hand raised up high in the air, attached to an overly-eager face with bushy hair and buck teeth. Merlin, why she felt the need to show off her intelligence to her classmates he would never know.

The Weasley kid was the next one in line. He was the uncultured swine Severus had expected: after all, he was a Weasley, and Severus had taught enough of his older siblings to know what kind of people the Weasleys were. The worst part, though, was his hair. For some reason, while the rest of the Weasley brood had hair that was more orange than red, Ronald Weasley was a ginger with reddish hair. Severus couldn't understand how that came about: how could one have red hair if the rest of his family had orange hair? It just didn't make sense. To make things worst, Weasley's hair colour was much brighter than the rest of his siblings', so Severus could see him from a distance. Unlike Granger, he didn't need to show off or even speak to make his presence known: his hair was like a huge sign hung above his head screaming "Hey, look at me, I'm here!"

Of course, the worst of the three was Potter. He was exactly like his father, arrogant and proud and a bully. Just like Potter senior, he hated Severus' guts too, though Severus didn't know what he had done to gain such hate from both father and son. It was alright though: the feeling was mutual. It didn't help that Potter looked exactly like James had, right down to the tuft of hair sticking out near his forehead. Merlin, Potter could be his father if not for the eyes-

Wait.

He understood now.

Granger's intelligence and enthusiasm reminded Severus too much of her. The way Granger practically hopped off her seat to answer a question, the way she always got every question right even though she was Muggle-born and hadn't grown up around magic like he did, the way she loved learning so much: it was exactly like her, and he was reminded too much of a pain he had buried long ago whenever he saw her in Granger.

As for Weasley, his ginger hair that was more red than orange was the exact same colour her hair had once been. Just like her hair had once been a sign announcing her larger-than-life presence, Weasley's hair could be seen no matter where he was around the school, and Severus now knew why he felt an ache in his heart whenever he saw that hair.

"After all this time, Severus?"

And as for Potter, although it was him Severus saw whenever Potter walked into a room, it was her eyes Severus saw sparkling with joy when Potter was with his friends, her eyes he saw narrowed at him in anger when Potter glared at him. It was a constant reminder that the love of his life had rejected him in favour of his worst enemy, and for good reason too. He had, after all, caused her death.

"Always."

How could he forget, when he saw Lily Evans every time he looked at Potter and his friends?