For Bel. Love you.
The town was still except for the couple in the square. They were too lost in each other to feel the growing chill as the sun was pulled beneath the horizon. The shadows of the buildings stretched across the pavement, and within them, the Dusks came to life.
Mid-summer was the most lucrative time for the Organization. The long days made people forget the threat the shadows held. They forgot to check their watches, forgot to watch the sky, forgot to run when the first screeches pierced the air.
This couple was faster than the last few Roxas had cornered. As soon as they saw the creatures rise like mist, they made for the nearest building.
'Tourists,' Roxas muttered as they battered against the fortified door of the shop. A curtain twitched on the upper floor, but the inhabitant had more sense than to lower their defences.
Roxas lifted an arm, summoning Oblivion. He pointed it in the direction of the couple as they fled to another building.
The dusks shrieked excitedly and lumbered after them.
They must have been tourists. Most towns these days had curfew bells that rang every quarter of an hour as sunset approached. Port Royal was one of the few exceptions. It was every person for themselves once the sun went down.
The couple had given up on trying to find sanctuary and were running blind. To the docks, if Roxas recalled the maps. A dead end if there were no boats to stow upon.
One of the dusks disappeared among the paving stones, rising again within arm's reach of the woman. She faltered, lurched out of its grasp, only to crash into the tavern wall.
Her companion paused, ran back to her, was the first to be grabbed. His scream was worse than the Dusk's.
The zip of the Dusk's mouth tore itself apart, revealing a gaping toothless maw. With little coordination, the man's head was plunged within, the notches of the zip tearing into him. Two other Dusks appeared, attached themselves to his shoulder and leg. Between the three of them, they made quick work of the man, leaving tatters of cloth and blood on the paving stones.
If Roxas had the capacity for such things, he imagined he would have felt rather sorry for the man.
The woman was grabbed next, and she fought back more viciously than her partner had, knowing what would happen if she didn't escape. Not that it did any good. Though the Dusks could touch humans, humans couldn't touch Dusks. Her hands passed through its arm, the limb fading into black vapour then reassembling once more.
Her scream cut the air, and though Roxas was high above the scene, he heard it as piercingly as if she was right beside him. What struck him more, however, was her lack of tears.
'They always cry,' he mused, jumping from his current perch to a lower roof for a better look, 'Especially when they're not the first ones.'
That summer alone, Roxas had collected well over fifty people, by way of the Dusks or his keyblade. Every last one had screamed and cried until there was nothing left to scream and cry with. But not her. Though she continued to scream as her arm was torn into, there wasn't a single tear.
With a pensive expression on his face, Roxas balanced on the wooden canopy of the fish market, lifting Oblivion once more.
At his silent command, the Dusks withdrew.
The woman dropped to the ground. The Dusks had barely gotten started, so her only serious injury was her ruined arm, which she cradled against herself. With her other hand, she scooped up the scraps of her partner's clothes, bringing them to her chest.
Roxas frowned, unsure what to make of it.
Before he could think on it any more, something soared past his ear. It caught her dead in the chest. Her eyes barely had a chance to widen before flames burst from the heavy red chakram, swallowing her whole.
The chakram clattered to the floor upon a pile of ash.
'What the hell was that?' Axel asked from above, nudging Roxas in the back with his knee. Roxas allowed the push to force him off the canopy, landing in the street. Axel was quick behind, walking on to reclaim his weapon.
'What was what?'
'That. You were doing great. Why'd you stop?'
Roxas thought for a minute, but no real answer came to him. He wasn't sure why he'd risked easy prey getting away. He'd just done it.
'Dunno,' Roxas said with a shrug, 'She didn't cry.'
Axel glanced at him from the corner of his eye, lip curling.
'Mr. Sadist over here disappointed by the lack of tears?'
'No!' Roxas objected, a bit too loudly. He realized a moment too late that it was exactly the reaction Axel wanted when the man began to snigger. Axel was always looking for a reaction, good or bad. 'No, I just... It was the first time I saw one not cry.'
Axel mirrored his shrug, brushing against his shoulder so Roxas would follow beside him.
'They don't always cry. Most do, but not always. Sometimes they scream, or run, or even just stand still and let it happen. One time I saw a guy try to beat one off with a stick. Takes all sorts of people, I guess.'
'I suppose so.' Axel must have come from the docks. The shadows were darker there, had a depth to them that no light source could cause. They stepped into the darkness and began the fast descent. 'You're not gonna tell Leader, are you?'
Axel's laugh should have been lost by the rushing wind as they fell, but Roxas heard it none the less, and the answer that followed.
'Course not, Rox. Your sadism is our little secret.'
Sometimes when Roxas slept, he woke up somewhere else.
He knew it was real because his imagination wasn't as detailed as the not-dreams tended to be. Occasionally, after missions were done and they had five minutes to themselves, Axel would tell him stories and try to get him to do the same. Axel's were really good. He made the characters feel real, like they could actually exist somewhere in the world. For his part, Roxas struggled to even think up names.
That was the first clue that the dream was real. He wouldn't have been able to make up a name like Sora.
Sora was what Roxas would have been in the sunlight. They had the same face, though with some differences, and they liked high places. The first time Roxas woke up next to Sora, they were high up in a tree.
'You have to come down eventually, Sora!' a boy yelled from the beach below, 'Surely there's a rule against this!'
Sora laughed, holding onto the wide green leaves. When he spoke, his voice wasn't Roxas', but it sounded as familiar as his own.
'What do you say, ref? Is this against the rules?'
There was a girl lying on a low, slouching trunk. She pursed her lips contemplatively.
'Wellll, we didn't say no tree climbing, so I'm going to have to allow it.'
Sora whooped, pulling a face at his friends below.
Wherever they were, it was a tropical place. The sun was high in the sky, sand and sea all around. Even the trees were a type Roxas had never seen before. Perched on its top, there was little shade except for Sora's own shadow, in which Roxas was now residing.
He couldn't see himself very clearly. Even when he looked down, there was only a black outline, with no details or features within. Yet he could see and hear everything that was happening as clearly as if he were there himself, though such a thing was impossible for a place so lit by the sun.
He stayed with Sora all day. There was no other choice since he was bound to his shadow, but even if there had been, Roxas wasn't sure he would have taken it. Watching Sora and his friends laugh and play in the sand had him oddly enthralled. They weren't doing anything all that interesting, but the most mundane of things seemed more fun in the daylight.
If Roxas had the capacity for such things, he wondered if he might not have woken up that night jealous.
'There aren't any people out tonight.'
Axel rocked on the back legs of the cafe chair, pulling his gloves off finger by finger. Snow landed on his hair, dotting the red with dissolving white. He hadn't bothered to wear the hat or scarf Roxas had offered, and only bothered with the gloves to stave off the worse of the burns.
'Should we go somewhere else?' Roxas asked, standing uncertainly. Even though he couldn't feel the cold any more than Axel could, he still wrapped up. He liked the winter wear, liked the illusion of warmth it gave.
Axel didn't answer for a while. There were no people in the streets, so no prey to be had. A wasted night. Leader wouldn't be pleased.
'Nah,' Axel eventually answered, letting the front legs of his chair clatter to the floor, 'With weather like this, people won't be out anyway. December's always a dead month.'
Roxas nodded, glancing around for the deepest shadow to return home.
Axel caught his hand. Through the gloves, Roxas thought he could feel how cold his scarred fingers were.
'No rush to get back. Fancy a wander?'
Roxas frowned.
'Why? There aren't any people.'
'Just coz. C'mon, I'll show you something nice.'
It would have been a more tempting invitation without the lascivious grin, but Roxas followed none the less, letting Axel keep hold of his hand.
The town was a small one. It was no wonder they hadn't come across anyone, and Roxas briefly wondered why Axel had chosen such a guaranteed failure. Still, lack of game aside, there were worse places to spend a couple of hours.
The buildings were white and wood, lines of little cottages boasting impeccable gardens. Most of the hedges were cut into shapes, clearly some neighbourhood competition going on. A rearing horse, a bear with its arms spread wide, a cluster of foxes chasing each other in a circle. That one was Roxas' favourite, their walk slowing so he could admire it a little longer.
Beyond the houses was a small gathering of trees. To the inhabitants of the town, the thick shadows beneath the canopy of leaves must have been terrifying, but for the two of them, it was a home away from home. They dodged the deeper shadows, the paths back to HQ, to break through the other side.
The snow had fallen thick around a frozen pond. Animals had been there recently, their footprints only just getting lost in the new falling snow.
It was the sort of scene from a Christmas card, but it was the first time Roxas had ever seen the like, and he admired it silently for a while. His hand tightened around Axel's, and Axel gave an answering squeeze.
'I was here the other week when the weather had just taken a turn. Pretty nice, thought you'd like it.'
'Leader'll be mad,' Roxas replied, but he didn't sound overly concerned. He was more preoccupied with how the snow looked against the dark of the sky above.
'It'll just have to be our secret then, won't it?'
Axel grinned, letting go of his hand to approach the pond. He slipped one of his gloves back on, then a red glow engorged his hand. It wasn't quite fire, not the way it usually was when he fought, but as he touched his finger to the surface of the ice, the glow brightened and spread until all the ice had melted.
He didn't let the red fade yet, gesturing to the ground around him. The snow melted until even the dewdrops were gone, leaving an oval patch of grass.
The glow dissipated and Axel dropped to sit on the grass, patting the space next to him.
'You'd be a good magician,' Roxas said, sitting down cross-legged.
Axel blinked, then laughed. He did that sometimes, seemed surprised when Roxas said something unnecessary. At first, Roxas had thought it meant he shouldn't, but almost a year since their partnership began and he'd learned differently.
He liked to make Axel laugh.
'We talking pulling rabbits from a hat? Coz I sneeze like you wouldn't believe around animals. Allergic to damn near everything.'
'I was thinking more top hat and cape, but you can have rabbits too.'
Axel's eyes widened.
'A cape, now that's a thought. Bit more dramatic than these leather coats, eh?'
'You do love your drama.'
'That I do, Rox, that I do.'
Axel took him places sometimes. Mostly pointless places. No jobs to complete there, no people to collect. Once they'd gone to a city where fish swam on air instead of water and Axel had tried to catch them with a poorly constructed net.
As pointless as it was, Roxas liked those trips. He sometimes thought about surprising Axel with one himself, but he didn't know the world like Axel did. The only place he could think of was Sora's beach. He wasn't sure Axel would like it there.
'Munny for your thought?'
Roxas shrugged, reaching out to dip a finger in the water. The cold was absolute, even without the ice.
'Have you ever been to a beach?' he asked.
'A beach?' Axel wrinkled his nose. 'Yeah, couple of times. Would not recommend it in boots. Why?'
'No reason.'
The silence that fell between them was a little different than usual. It prickled at Roxas' skin, made him want to keep talking. He wasn't sure what there was to say, though.
Axel never had that problem.
'I kept a shell, I think. It wasn't even pretty. I'd just not seen one before. Had this gross little slug thing in it too. Eugh. You can have it when we get back, if you want. Shells are the only good thing about beaches. Apparently you can hear the ocean in them, but I can't say I did.'
Roxas pulled his finger out of the water, losing sensation to the chill.
'What else?'
'What else?' Axel nibbled at his lip, leaning back on his hands. 'Lots of sand, obviously. Water. Ugly fuckin' trees. Why the sudden interest? See one in a book or something?'
Sora's beach had lots of shells and the water stretched as far as the eye could see. Roxas didn't think the trees were ugly, though they were weird looking. They didn't have lots of branches and leaves like the trees Roxas was used to. Easier to sit in, though.
'Have you ever eaten a coconut?' Roxas asked, ignoring Axel's question.
'Coconut?' Axel snorted, taken aback, 'Are you reading from a different script to me? Nah, I've not eaten a coconut. I don't eat anything hairier than me, as a general rule. Why, you want one?'
Roxas thought for a minute, then nodded.
'I don't think you have to eat the hairs,' he said uncertainly, 'And you can drink it too, I think.'
'I'm not drinking anything I have to wax first,' Axel laughed, 'But alright, coconuts are on the shopping list, Rox. Consider it done.'
Roxas smiled. After a beat, Axel smiled back softly.
'We could do a little beach simulation, if you want?'
'Sounds dodgy.'
'Only if you've got a dodgy mind.' Axel tutted. 'Nah, just take your shoes off.'
Axel was already unbuckling his boots, squirming them off, socks and all. Roxas frowned, but after a minute, he followed suit.
'Alright, gimme a minute.'
Axel slowly dipped his bare feet into the water. Even he must have felt the chill, tensing all over. As dark as it was, Roxas could barely see beneath the water's surface, but when Axel took a deep breath, a red glow glistened within the pond's depths.
'You're kind of like Rudolph,' Roxas said, watching Axel's blazing feet kick back and forth.
'Beaches, coconuts, Rudolph. You're on fire with the weird tonight, Rox.' Roxas may have taken it as a jibe were it not for Axel's hand coming to rest over his. 'I've never tried the nose. Probably not practical for a job.'
Roxas turned his hand over so their palms rested together.
'When is making your feet hot practical?'
'When your shoes have holes in them and it's raining.'
Roxas couldn't really argue with that. Damp socks in the middle of a job was one of the most minorly annoying things he'd experienced.
Steam began to rise from the water's surface. The damp warmth billowed over Roxas' face.
'Alright, get your feet in. Nice and warm.'
Roxas rolled the legs of his pants up with his free hand then slowly dipped his toes in. The cold had bitten his finger numb, but the water was warm edging on hot now, making his legs itch as they sank deeper in. He kicked his feet back and forth, swishing the water around, watching the ripples flicker outwards.
'Rudolph probably couldn't do this,' Roxas said, twiddling his toes. The steam was rising more now, warming the air around them too. The snow at the edges of the pond began to melt.
'Maybe he kept it a secret,' Axel suggested, 'His nose glowed and he got wrangled into pulling a sled all night long. Imagine the slave labour they'd have him doing if he was a portable sauna too. Cold down that way, y'know.'
Roxas pictured it, bit back a laugh.
'What's a sauna?'
'Err, little room, hot water, lots of steam. Tons of rocks, for some reason.'
'So is that what beaches are like, then?'
'Oh yeah, beach simulation. Right.' Axel cleared his throat, pulling Roxas' hand to encourage him to lay flat on his back. He did the same, entwining their fingers. 'Okay. So since you're suddenly obsessed with beaches for some reason -'
'No reason -'
'Some reason, whatever it is. Sorry to break it to you but it's unlikely you'll ever get to one. There was some shit back in the day when Leader had us work at them too, but what with them being, y'know, beaches, they're sunny as fuck. Even at night, it's dangerous for us there. First bit of sun and whoops! Goodbye, us. Plus there tends to be a lot of the enemy there. Obviously bad news. Anyway, Leader decided to call it quits, so you're probably not gonna get to a beach, to be honest.'
There was a hollow clench in Roxas' stomach that he didn't really understand. Whatever it was, he didn't like it.
'Anyway, they're not really my thing. I burn hot enough as it is, obviously. But I figured, hey, I can at least give you a sense of what it's like.'
Roxas wriggled his feet beneath the water. It had gotten even hotter as they spoke. His skin was beginning to tingle, but not unpleasantly.
'So... hot?'
'Really hot,' Axel replied, 'Hot and sweaty. About sums it up.'
Roxas nudged Axel's leg. He could feel how much more intense the heat was around Axel, the red glow brighter as the steam filled the air.
'I don't mind it,' Roxas said, 'I like the hot.'
Axel turned his head, hair spread out on the grass beneath him. True to his words, his palm was starting to grow damp against Roxas', his cheeks flushed from the steam.
He tugged at Roxas' hand, inviting him closer.
There was no hesitation. Roxas pushed up on his elbow, leaning over. When Axel's free hand cupped the back of his head, he moved forward. Close enough for their breaths to mingle.
Something knocked into Roxas' foot.
'What?' Axel asked, the glow in his eyes fading as Roxas pulled away.
Floating to the surface of the pond were upturned fish. Their marble scales glittered in the dim light of the moon, highlighted by Axel's now dissolving glow. The water had begun to bubble, only stopping when Axel muttered a curse and pulled his feet onto the grass.
Axel pulled a face.
'Whoops.'
'Whoops,' Roxas echoed, wiping his dripping feet on the grass, 'More effective than the net.'
Before Axel could respond, Roxas leaned over again, pressing his lips to Axel's. A brief moment of stillness, and then Axel's hand was back cupping his head. He moved into the kiss, soft and chaste.
'Stole my thunder there,' Axel said when they broke apart, not nearly as bold as usual. His hand stayed in Roxas' hair, stroking through the strands slowly.
'You were taking too long,' Roxas replied with a shrug, and moved in for another kiss.
Two months after their first kiss, Roxas drifted to sleep in Axel's bed and woke up in an unfamiliar town. He clenched his shadow toes and felt dusty paving stones instead of sand. The sun was low in the pastel sky, the air heavy and warm.
Sora hopped off the last step, the train station doors slowly sliding shut at the top of the stairs. His shadow stretched as Roxas lingered there, immobile. They were at the top of a high hill, a town unfolding below. It was a place he had never seen before, awake or otherwise.
Who's that knockin' at the House of Mou -!
The tinny little song was cut off almost as soon as it began. Sora let his duffel bag drop to the floor and pulled out his phone, answering with a cheery, 'You've got Sora!'
Roxas took the steps hesitantly, the black mass of Sora's shadow becoming more natural looking as it returned to Sora's back. His feet were bare so he could feel the ghost of warmth in the paving stones, though he shouldn't have been able to.
'Yep, just got here. Already gone nine o'clock but the sun's still up.' Sora listened to the voice on the other end, humming every now and then. 'Yeah, I know. Where's Cid waiting?'
Roxas could feel the warmth beneath his toes. It was hard to think of anything but that. He rubbed his foot back and forth across the floor, grit dragging against his sole.
It wasn't that Roxas was utterly devoid of sensation. If he touched something, he could feel the pressure of it against his fingers. When the wind was strong, he could feel it pushing back his hair and catching in his throat. When Demyx played his sitar in the room below Roxas', he could feel the vibrations in the floor.
He could feel these things, but it was a distant sort of feeling. As if he was only aware of them because he knew he should be. A self delusion more than reality.
Roxas didn't know that paving stones grew warm when the sun shone upon them. He only saw the sun when he was in Sora's shadow, and though he had been inhabiting it more often than not whenever he slept, he had never felt that warmth like he was feeling it now.
How curious.
'Tram Common?' Sora glanced around with uncertainty, pulling a face. 'I can't see a sign, Yuffie. Or a tram. Can he not just come meet me?'
Roxas' foot stilled, his head tilted. Yuffie was a new name. He had only ever seen Sora with his beach friends before. Kairi, Riku, Tidus, Wakka and Selphie. He had memorized their names. It was strange to think that Sora had friends Roxas hadn't seen already, but then, it wasn't as though Roxas really knew Sora, even if it felt like he did.
'Fiiiiine. I'll just wander around this place until I get mugged or kidnapped. Hope Cid enjoys his nap, though. Bye!'
Sora ended the call with a huff, sliding his phone back into his pocket. There was no one around that he could ask for directions. There was little more choice than to pick up his bag and just start walking.
Roxas was quick to follow.
The train station was at the top of a winding slope, shops and houses lining the path down. Despite the late hour, people wandered the streets unhurried and unafraid. By all rights, the town should have been swarmed by Dusks. The low sun cast dark shadows, but Roxas could feel nothing within them. They weren't the same shadows he and the Dusks came from. They were utterly empty.
If Roxas had the capacity for such things, he may have found that a little frightening.
'Excuse me!' Sora stopped a passing woman, her bag bulging with envelopes. 'Sorry to bother you. I'm trying to find Tram Common?'
The woman was quick to smile, pointing to an archway at the bottom of the hill. Sora thanked her and hurried on, but Roxas lingered once more. There were flashing neon lights on the sides of some of the buildings. He'd never seen that sort of thing before in the places he had been. He reached out to touch the lowest sign, hoping to feel the heat he knew should be there.
A scream.
A young girl dropped her ball, watching the long, creeping shadow inch closer her way. Roxas startled, pulling his hand back.
An apology was on the tip of his tongue -
'Sorry!'
'You should be.' Axel grunted, then kicked Roxas lightly in the calf. The bedsheets rustled as he rolled over with a drowsy frown. 'Worse than an alarm clock, you.'
It took a moment for Roxas to find himself. He could still see the bright glow of the setting sun, though the blackout curtains were drawn and the room was in complete darkness. When he closed his eyes, the town was still there, Sora jumping onto the back of a tram. If he could get back to sleep, he could return there. The path was still open to him.
'Shit, it's almost ten.' The sheets tugged away from Roxas as Axel climbed out of bed. The town began to fade from Roxas' mind, Sora's movements becoming more and more distant. He kept his eyes screwed shut, but with every whisper of movement Axel made, the path between him and Sora closed.
'You're very loud,' Roxas muttered, throwing an arm across his eyes, 'Bang, bang, bang.'
He heard Axel snort from the bathroom.
'Well, excuse me, princess. While we're whining, you should take a look at the bruises on my legs. Dreaming you were chasing rabbits or something? You kept booting me.'
Roxas moved his arm, looking over at Axel in the bathroom doorway. True enough, there was a mess of dark splotches forming on his legs. He didn't look particularly bothered.
'Sorry.' Roxas sat up, stretching his neck slowly. 'You did say there'd be growing pains when we started rooming together.'
Axel rolled his eyes, going back into the bathroom.
'Yeah, I meant one of us hogging the sheets or leaving our dirty socks lying around. Not literal pain.'
'I'm worth it.'
The banter came easily, but Roxas' mind was elsewhere. A place where the sun never set and the shadows held no threat.
'We're closer to our goal than ever. Soon, we'll begin the trials.'
Xemnas' voice carried down the long, marble steps to the group at their base. His golden eyes didn't meet theirs, too focused on the swarming mass of darkness above their heads. Faint whispers drifted down, the final thoughts of the Dusks' victims, but Roxas couldn't make out any real words.
He wondered if the woman's voice was amongst the hum. The one who hadn't cried.
'Too long have we been forced into the sidelines of life, relegated to shadows and night. They live free, unrestricted, as though they think they deserve it just by right of being what they are. Human.'
Roxas didn't realize he was chewing on his thumb until Axel tapped his hand, frowning. He'd bled himself, a red smudge across his bottom lip. He let his hand drop to his side, giving Axel a brief smile.
'But their monopoly on freedom is coming to an end.'
The meeting finished and the group dispersed. Axel and Roxas were paired for the night, as usual, and would be going to a new place, at least for Roxas. Usually that would have excited him, but his thoughts were still scattered from the last dream and Xemnas' words.
'Anyone home?' Axel's knuckles tapped lightly on Roxas' forehead. 'Chewing on your fingers like a dog with a bone. What's up? I was only kidding about the bruises, y'know.'
The skin at his nailbeds was frayed on most of his fingers. His thumb was the worst, the nail bitten too low, throbbing dully. He hadn't realized he was doing it.
'Axel, we're human, aren't we?' Roxas asked, stopping short of the portal to their target town.
Axel was already half submerged in the shadows. He turned his head so fast, it was a wonder he didn't get whiplash. That same surprised look he got whenever Roxas said something unexpected, then a bark of laughter.
Roxas didn't find his laugh as nice as he usually did.
'What's the punchline, Rox?' Roxas's eyes dropped to the floor and Axel's laughter died. 'What, you serious?'
Roxas didn't understand why his question was funny. He looked like a human. He had all the right parts in all the right places. He ate and drank and slept like humans did. He listened to their music and he watched their films. He laughed and joked and teased, just like Sora did. He felt a worth he couldn't quantify when he made Axel grin.
So why wasn't he human?
'Roxas... Where's this coming from?' Axel's fingers found his chin, forcing him to look up. 'Over a year you've been with us now, and you're only just questioning what we are? What's brought this on?'
Roxas pushed Axel's hand away, taking a step back.
'And what are we? If not human, what?'
Axel's arm dropped to his side, fingers curling closed. He looked as lost as Roxas felt.
'We're... echoes. Someone who shone so bright, they cast the darkest shadow, and... we came to be. That's all.' Something flashed across Axel's eyes that Roxas couldn't identify. 'We play at being human, but that's all it is. We're only pretending.'
'I'm not,' Roxas objected, 'I really -'
Roxas recognized the flash in Axel's eyes this time. Anger.
'You really what? Enlighten me.'
Roxas' tattered fingernails dug into his palms. He knew Axel had a temper, had seen it flare with the other Organization members, but never him. Was it really so bad, to question?
'I... do all the things humans do. I look like them. I eat and drink and sleep.' The reasoning had sounded so much stronger in his head, but as it became words, it came apart at the seams. He knew, even before Axel opened his mouth, that it was flawed. 'I can laugh and...'
'You eat, but you don't feel hunger, Roxas. You drink, but if you didn't, nothing would change. You only sleep because you saw me doing it, and I only do it because there's nothing else to do when the sun is up. It's all learned behaviours. Mimicry. A parrot can say words, but it can't hold a conversation.'
Roxas felt himself becoming blank. Withdrawing within, so he didn't have to think about what Axel was saying. How much of himself was himself? Were his habits his own, or had they come from Sora? From others around him? He laughed and joked and teased, but he hadn't before spending time with Axel. He listened to music, enjoyed it, but only because it drifted up from Demyx's room. Did Sora bite his nails too?
If Roxas wasn't human, then he was a mirror, reflecting the details of the people around him and taking them as his own. His personality was patchwork, his loose threads pulled by Axel's words.
'No, no, no, don't shut down on me.' Axel ducked down to try and meet Roxas' vacant eyes, taking him by the shoulders. 'I'm a dick, okay? Ignore me. I'm sorry. You can be human if you want. You're human. You're the best human I know. Rox?'
Axel's face was wretched, as genuinely remorseful as Roxas had ever seen him. It pulled Roxas back a little. Only a little. Enough to say, 'Alright.'
Axel straightened up, hands still gripping Roxas' shoulders.
'You're alright?'
'I'm alright,' Roxas replied, nodding.
'And we're alright?'
'We're alright.' Roxas smiled, the way he usually did. He wondered whose smile it was and how long ago he had taken it from them. 'We should get going.'
Roxas shrugged out of Axel's hold and stepped into the shadows, pulling his leather coat tighter around him. It was a good minute or so before Axel followed, his steps uncharacteristically hesitant.
AN: this was a oneshot that got really out of hand, too big to post as one thing, so it's gonna be in four parts. it's already finished, so i'll update weekly, a chapter every friday. i hope you guys enjoy it!
