I Long to Be Like You

Like You- Evanescence

Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or anything associated with it I do however own the OC and plot. I also do not own Like You by Evanescence which inspired this story.

What would he say if he knew that I longed to be like he was? To be so strong and able to face every challenge thrown at me. What would he say if he knew that I loved him more than life itself? Would he hate me, or maybe stop talking to me? It really didn't matter because I was to chicken to actually even dare tell him and I made sure to keep my mouth shut about it when Yuffie was around.

"Hello Lauren, are you ready for the meeting?" Rude asked walking up behind me. I turned around and smiled at him, this was typical for me to plaster a smile on my face whenever I had to talk with someone and the conversation required it.

"Heya Rude, of course I'm ready for the meeting. I just wonder who the under covers are going to be for it this time round." I replied walking into the briefing room. And as soon as I walked in I had to avert my eyes because there he was sitting in the seat beside mine looking bored and interested all at the same time.

"Ahhh, now that everyone is here we can begin. Everyone please take your seats," Reeve said looking around at everyone in the room. I walked over to my seat and sat down without looking at Vincent Valentine again.

"Alright so unfortunately for this mission we need to have Reno stay on surveillance so I am going to have to ask Vincent and Lauren to be our under covers for this mission. As you have probably noted from the folder in front of you, the two of you will be required to act like a couple. I know that neither of you are very emotionally attached to others but I beg of you to please act as though you have feelings and attachments to each other." Reeve said standing before the assembled group.

I watched as Vincent nodded that he would take on the mission and when he looked over at me I simply said, "It's not what I signed on for but consider it done Reeve."

Reeve smiled and thanked us both for agreeing to take part. Vincent gently tapped his foot against mine and when I looked over at him he had his hand held palm up on his knee. Understanding that I would have to get accustomed to this I lightly placed my hand in his own, surprised at the fact that he was not warm but rather the same temperature as I was.

"Alright everyone is dismissed," Reeve said after the briefing was over. I went to remove my hand from Vincent's but he held onto it and looked over at me as if to say why are you pulling your hand away?

I opened a telepathic link between myself and Vincent and explained, "Well I know we have to be all touchy-feely for the mission but Vincent that honestly just is not me. This is going to be hard enough as it is, I don't want things to be mad any harder by mixed messages."

"Lauren I dislike this as much as you do but I just figured this could be used as practice and also so that we would appear natural when we were out in the field. There won't be any mixed messages I promise." Vincent said through the link and I could feel the truth in his words.

Sighing I pulled him towards the door but when we got to it Vincent suddenly stopped moving and when I turned around to look at him his eyes had changed. They had a dull yellow glow to them and I could tell that Chaos was trying to take control of him. Instead of getting scared and running off I simply walked back into the room and closed the door before standing to face Vincent.

"Hello Chaos, I see that you wish for us to meet again." I said allowing my eyes to revert back to their natural golden glow while my fangs reappeared. I was ready to fight Chaos if I had to but then I saw a brief flash of surprise in his eyes, I had completely forgotten that Vincent had never seen my true form or even part of it aside from my pointed ears.

"Yesssss, I wisssshhhed to see you again. How have you been Mistress?" Chaos purred leering at me with eyes that held only the desire for blood and death. I knew that I had to reach Vincent otherwise I would never be able to do this without hurting him…or could I? I knew exactly what I was going to have to do, and though I dreaded it I knew it was the only way.

I walked up to Vincent and pressed my body against his sinfully and teasingly. I watched as Vincent's eyes snapped back to their normal blood red colour but I didn't stop there. No I leaned up and lightly licked the corner of his mouth before kissing his lips which were soft as silk. I was somewhat surprised when Vincent wrapped his arms around my waist pulling my body even more intimately against his own. Instead of fighting him though I simply wrapped my arms around his neck before running my tongue along the seam of his lips asking for entrance. I smiled when Vincent willingly opened to me and allowed me to explore his mouth with my tongue, I almost laughed when he tentatively did the same thing.

"Lauren, why the hell did you do that?" Vincent asked his voice deeper and rougher than usual. I couldn't tell if he was upset or pleased over what I had just done so I allowed my senses to roam out of my body and then I could tell that he was more pleased than upset.

"I did what I had to in order to calm Chaos, is it my fault that the only thing I could really do so as not to harm you was to use my body?" I snapped back breaking out of Vincent's hold and opening the door before running from the room. Vincent simply stood there shocked by my words and stunned that I would so quickly and selflessly do what I had. What he would give to be able to act like that to be that sure of what he was doing.

Finally unfreezing Vincent took off after Lauren following her scent knowing that she had left it for him to follow. Lauren usually kept her scent hidden but this time he could smell it clearly in the air, or maybe because she had just been so close to him he was able to smell her. He didn't really care which was the reason he was simply glad that he had something to follow because he did need to find her.

"Lauren….." The words fell off his tongue on a rush of air. There she stood the wind blowing her long black hair out behind her while the sun shone in front of her. Even with her back to him Vincent could tell that she looked absolutely gorgeous at this very moment. He walked up behind her letting the tendrils of her hair brush against his face as he gently wrapped his arms around her waist. "You look so beautiful right now that it makes my heart ache like it is going to burst. Why must you tempt me so Lauren?"

I froze as his words registered and the sincerity of them washed over me. He honestly felt that I was beautiful and he found me tempting. Unable to or rather unwilling to do anything else I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck kissing him as he pulled me against his body. The kiss was not innocent like it had been the first time this time it was passion and heat and desire. She burned in his blood he wanted to taste her again so he lightly licked the seam of her lips thrusting his tongue in when she opened for him.

I couldn't help but be both surprised and turned on by the fact that Vincent was practically branding me with his touch and his kiss. I was in utter shock that the man I had always known to be so stoic and detached, so cold was the same man who now burned up my body. "Beautiful," Vincent whispered breaking for air while his eyes burned in me.

"Perfect that is what this is, perfect madness Vincent we can't be doing this out here." I said trying to push myself back into my comfortable little whole of denial. It came as even more of a shock when Vincent simply growled before reclaiming my lips, a kiss which I instantly returned. How could I not? I had loved this man since I had first laid eyes on him so many years ago and now here he was kissing me.

"I will not let you slip away Lauren, not now that I have you and I know just how good you taste." Vincent said. The words sounded like Chaos but the tone of voice was purely a sane Vincent Valentine. And apparently a very determined one because the next thing I knew I was pressed up against a wall with Vincent's body intimately touching mine.

"Who said anything about slipping away?" I asked rolling my hips slightly as he began to nibble at my neck. God how did he know exactly what to do to have me wanting him more then I already did. Right all I wanted was for to Vincent to make me his and I didn't care who might see us either.

"That is exactly what you are trying to do, feeling you here in my arms. Everything feels right and exactly where it should be. Come on we have to get to Modeoheim so that we can find them." Vincent said pulling me out of my mental musings. Yes how could I forget we had to go find my brother and his best friend? I hoped to hell that both Zack and Cloud were alright and alive.

"Then what are we standing here for let's go!" I cried running down the outside stairs before deciding that once I got 4 floors down this was taking too long. I grabbed Vincent's hand and quickly teleported us down to street level. I went to release his hand but he gripped it tighter and we took off running like that with our hands twinned together. We had gotten to the old Mako reactor and I left Vincent to explore it while I went to look around Modeoheim town.

I suddenly got a feeling in my gut a very bad one but one that told me what I needed to know, Zack was not in Modeoheim. "Vincent! We need to leave now; Zack is not here he is near Midgar!" I yelled running right past the Mako reactor. I could not stand and wait for Vincent to come out of the building.

Suddenly Vincent was running beside me and I decided to take the quick route to my brother. "Trust me and hold on," I said as I suddenly grabbed Vincent under his arms and released my wings taking off into the sky. This was the most effective method of travel for us at the moment so I simply focused on following my brother's presence.

"How do you know he is near Midgar?" Vincent asked after a minute or two. His voice held more a tone of amazement rather than disbelief. He was surprised that I knew where my brother was. However I did not like the pain that was building in my chest, it felt like I was being shot by hundreds of bullets.

"I can sense his presence and it was very faint in Modeoheim, I just know that he is near Midgar." I said starting to descend. I knew I was close so once I knew I was less than a two minute walk from where my brother was I landed and took off running again.

What I saw when I got out onto the cliffs stopped my heart completely for a few minutes. There lay my brother's body and there sat Cloud beside him holding the Buster Sword Zack had cherished ever since Angeal had given it to him. I walked over to the two of them as the rain fell I didn't even try to hide or protect myself from the rain as it made my hair cling to my face and back. Cloud held the sword in his lap and he was screaming and crying, that told me exactly what I had feared. When I stood beside Zack's body I saw that it was riddled with bullet holes, he had died exactly as I had felt that he was and he died to save Cloud.

"Cloud….. Are you okay?" I asked dropping to my knees beside him. I forced myself not to stare at my brother's body but instead into Cloud's glazed eyes. Mako poisoning I noted but also the pain of losing a dearly held close friend. He had lost so much already in his life and now here he was losing more, but I would not let him give up.

"Lauren? I'm so sorry; I could do nothing to save him! It is my fault that Zack is dead!" Cloud cried his voice full of agony and sadness. He honestly felt that he was the reason for Zack's death.

"Oh Cloud! I will never blame you! I will help you rebuild though, I will help you to continue on in my brother's memory." I said pulling Cloud into my arms and holding him while he cried into my shoulder. He clung to me like a new-born to their mother, and I simply sat there crying as I rubbed his back and told him everything was going to be okay. I held onto the one person my brother had found a friend in since Angeal had deserted SOLDIER and left him to his own devices.

"Lauren I am sorry, I couldn't save him. I let both of you down, I am not deserving of this or of anyone's comfort." Cloud whispered in my ear his head still resting on my shoulder as I continued to rub his back and hold him.

"Cloud you have Mako poisoning, it's a miracle that you are able to move as much as you are right now. You will only let me down if you keep saying these things that you are and you are absolutely deserving of my comfort. You were the person that my brother was closest to, and we both trust you completely." I said moving so that Cloud was looking into my eyes. I could see everything there in his eyes all the hurt and pain caused by Zack's passing. I could see so many different things in them that it was almost as if I could drown in it all.

I didn't realize exactly what he was doing until Cloud's lips pressed up against mine gently. I knew why he was doing this and I was not going to deny him what he saw as total forgiveness for what had happened. I gently kissed him back wrapping my arms around his neck and when he pulled back I once again pulled him into a hug. If this was what it took to help him find peace then so be it, I would gladly pay that price.

I watched over Cloud's shoulder as Vincent walked out of the shadows of a large rock and began to walk over towards us. I would explain to Cloud about Zack finding Vincent and me going to wake the man from his slumber. It would have happened sooner or later anyways, Cloud would have been the one to awaken Vincent if I hadn't.

"Cloud, I want you to meet someone who will help us to live on in a proud memory to Zack. Vincent Valentine this is Cloud Strife he is like a younger brother to me. Cloud this is Vincent, he will help you to feel more at ease with what has happened. He too has suffered a loss like this only instead of a dear friend or brother; Vincent lost the woman he loved to the man who created Sephiroth." I said turning Cloud so that he looked up at Vincent. I looked at Vincent with sadness and determination in my eyes. Vincent seemed to notice it because he nodded his head and bent down to close Zack's eyes again.

"Hello Cloud, Lauren speaks the truth I have lost someone very dear to me and not by my choosing. I will never be able to bring him back but I will be here if you need help to rebuild your life and to continue living. I can understand your pain and suffering, I understand more pain than that for I also lost my son to his madness and then to death." Vincent said his eyes full of compassion. It was odd for me to hear Vincent talk so much and to see any kind of emotion this clearly in his eyes and on his face. But he was really trying to comfort Cloud and myself.

I noticed all this and yet my face still remained blank of expression and emotion. I had shut down and shut off or as Zack liked to call it, I had simply put myself into zombie mode. The kid was always so full of jokes and teasing remarks that it was so easy to be around him. Being with him made me feel so free and at ease, Zack accepted me wings, demons and all. How in the world was I ever going to survive without him around anymore? My baby brother was dead and gone at 23, while at 25 I had just lost my entire world. Ever since our parents had died I took care of not only myself but Zack as well and now he was gone.

"Cloud you are young you will be able to make it past all of this one day. You're only 21 you have your entire life ahead of you and you have the love of your friends. I will watch over you just like I had Zack, like I said you have always been like a little brother since Zack introduced us. Now come on I have to leave and you need to get to Midgar and take care of Aerith like you promised our brother you would." I said gently pulling Cloud up into a standing position with me. I raised up on my tiptoes and gently kissed Cloud's forehead and cheeks before pressing a light gentle kiss to his lips. "Go Cloud and take care, I will come see you as soon as I can I promise." I whispered before once more kneeling beside Zack.

I sat there staring at my brother's face it was calm and relaxed. He looked so peaceful right now that it made my heart ache to know I would never see him smiling at me again, to know that I would never see him again in the flesh. He was gone forever now and I had to be strong for him and for the others. One single tear feel down my cheek and I simply let it, it was the last tear that would be shed for my brother like this. I leaned down and gently kissed his eyelids and forehead, like he was still a child of 10 suffering the traumatic loss of both his parents instead of the 23 year old man he had become.

"Zack you will never be forgotten however you will be dearly missed and always loved. My sweet little puppy of a brother so excitable and always loyal. You are a hero, you made your dream come true and you never once lost your honour. You have given us the power to hold onto our dreams and to never let them go. Thank you brother, I will always hold you dearly in my heart." I said. Then I placed my hand in his and created a single baby blue rose, the symbol of the impossible. Then I got up and watched as Cloud dragging the Buster Sword walked away into the distance. I knew that he had snapped and I knew what was going to happen but I did nothing to stop it, knowing that this would be better for him in the long run.

"Lauren, why don't you come back to Nibelheim with me for now? At least for tonight, I do not like the idea of you being alone after this trauma and pain." Vincent whispered standing beside me. When I stood up I just kept staring at my brother I was so lost in my pain and memories that I didn't even notice that Vincent had pulled me into a hug until I heard him whisper, "I wish I could be as strong as you are Lauren. I have been hiding from my pain for years but here you are facing your own pain head on. I long to be as strong as you are emotionally and in the heart."

"Strong…..? Vincent this is not strong this is survival that is all. I have longed to be truly strong like you, to be able to face everything head on with a calm mind and without fail. This is something that will haunt me for the rest of my life but without this pain I do not think I would be able to push myself as hard as I will. I have to fight and try to be strong so I can find a new reason to live." I whispered wrapping my arms around Vincent and burying my face in his chest. It was going to be so hard to move on from here to accept that I am not at fault and move on with my life. It was going to be even harder to find a reason to live now that my only family member was dead.

"Yes you are strong; I have watched you since you woke me from my slumber. Your brother never had the idea to wake the man in the coffin but you did. You have been strong since you were young having to accept that you were different from others. Your demons and abilities have made your life hard right from the get go and yet here you stand strong as ever in front of me." Vincent said tilting my head up so that I was looking up at him. So that I was seeing everything in his eyes that he was meaning and saying. He slowly lowered his head allowing me time to push him away but I didn't I closed my eyes and raised myself up on my toes so that our lips met.

The kiss was gentle and reassuring which helped to further soothe me. I remember a song that Zack and I use to sing when we were kids, just the chorus. 'This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill. Fifteen percent concentrated power of will. Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain. And a hundred percent reason to remember the name…' These words reminded me that Zack and I had been born as strong children born to lead hard meaningful lives. It reminded me of the promise he and I had made as children, if something happened to the other we would make sure to carry on and take care of those who the other held dear and the ones we held dear ourselves.

"Let's go home Vincent, I have found my reason to go on again. I have my power of will back and I plan to use it. Starting right now with you." I said my eyes shining with the determination that only those who have been through the worst kind of loss that would be the death of weaker men. I kissed Vincent again this time with passion and love; I was going to give him exactly what I had wanted to since I had awakened him. I was going to be all the best of my brother but now I found that what I had longed for the most was to be free and to be the strongest I could be.

~A.N: Well this was written because I listened to the song and just had to write a story with that in mind. It festered until I just had to write it, lol. Anyways please review as I plan to start a collection of song inspired stories but I will stop posting them if people do not review. ~