Angel by Sarah Mclachlan

Spend all your time waiting

For that second chance

For a break that would make it okay

There's always one reason

To feel not good enough

And it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction

Oh beautiful release

Memory seeps from my veins

Let me be empty

And weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight

It was the one-day off a year that he took religiously. Gibbs sat at the same place where he had spent so many memorable moments with Shannon and Kelly. The one place where he contemplated suicide in order to be with them after he buried them. After he killed the man that had killed his family, his inner light. That was 20 years ago. He sat at the same place at the same time each year. He missed them terribly. It never failed that they would visit him in his dreams though. Shannon at various times, Kelly only sometimes. He thought back to the last time he had seen Kelly in his dreams.

He had saved Maddie, well Tony had saved Maddie. But in-between the time of him waking up and the time he took the last breath underwater he saw her.

"Go back daddy, it's okay." She told him. Shannon had been there with her too.

But why was it okay for him to come back? Why did the family he loved and missed send him back? Didn't they want to be with him as much as he wanted to be with them?

In the arms of an angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You're in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort there

"Honestly Jethro. You never ignored anything I told you this much when I was alive." Shannon said as she sat down next to him.

Gibbs looked over at Shannon. His mouth dropped open and he just stared at her.

"Shannon?" He said as he turned to hug her. To pull her into his arms. But he couldn't. He couldn't do more than turn and look at her.

"Hi." She said with a smile. "Don't you think it's time to let us go?"

"No."

"I do. Honestly, it's ok Jethro."

"No it's not."

"You know, I expected you to act like this." Shannon said with a laugh. "But I didn't send her to you for nothing."

"Send who?"

Shannon stood up and moved to where she was kneeling in front of him. She placed a hand on his knee.

"Don't you remember about 15 years ago when you met an up and coming forensic scientist who you later recruited to NCIS?"
"Abby?" Gibbs asked.

"Now just how do you think she crossed your path? Honestly Jethro, you never gave me credit sometimes." Shannon laughed.

"Why?"

"Because it had been 5 years and you were acting like it had been 5 days. Because you needed to move on and I knew she was the one."

"How?"

So tired of the straight line

And everywhere you turn

There are vultures and thieves at your back

And the storm keeps on twisting

You keep on building the lie

That you make up for all that you lack

It don't make no difference

Escaping one last time

It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh

This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

"I was looking for 5 years when I found her. I didn't want you to be alone. I know how you are. But you ignored me. Instead there was Catherine, Dianne, Jenny, Stephanie and Hollis." Shannon laughed. "I swear Jethro, if you would have listened, you could have avoided alimony and all those stitches Ducky had to put in you."

Gibbs looked at his wife. "But why Abby?"

"Because she's not your type and she makes you remember happier times. Because she will make a great mother and make you happy."

"Shannon, I don't understand."

"I know you don't. But enough is enough Jethro. Quit living in the past."

"I can't. This job, it changes you."

"But it all falls away when she's around. You never sleep much, you're always working, and you spend time on that boat. Jethro, I thought I taught you better."

"You did."

"Rule number 9, do you remember it?"

"Always be happy with what you are given."

"Right. And I keep trying to give you something and you send it away."

"But there is,"

"Rule 12? Honestly Jethro, she isn't a coworker and you knew her well before you recruited her."

"I can't break my own rule."

"Sometimes Jethro, you have to. Now wake up, she's going to knock at your door in a minute."

Gibbs sat straight up in the bed. He looked around the dark hotel room for Shannon. He couldn't find her but there was a soft knock at the door. He got up out of the bed and padded to the door. He opened it to find Abby standing in front of him. She was still clad in her skull and cross bone pajamas and black t-shirt. She had thrown on a jacket in her haste to leave.

"Abs?"

"I really don't know what I'm doing here. But I had this dream about you and I woke up with this urge to come and see you. I know you don't like to be bothered but it wouldn't leave me and I had to get on the road and get here."

"Abs,"

"I'm really sorry. I just had this feeling Gibbs, you know like you have down in your gut about a case. I couldn't ignore it."

"Abs," Gibbs said again as he grabbed her arm and pulled her inside.

In the arms of an angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You're in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort there?

You're in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort here

"I know you miss them." Abby said as she rambled on.

Gibbs knew it was pointless to try to interrupt her rambling. She was like this when she had a dream that disturbed her. So he just took off her jacket and pointed to her shoes. Abby slipped them off and Gibbs picked her up and carried her over to the bed with him. He sat her down on the edge while he crawled in and sat back against the headboard.

"Abs." He said quietly and extended his arms.

Abby crawled under the covers to join him. She snuggled close to him and he pulled her to where she was laying in between his legs. They fell asleep that way. Gibbs dreamed again. He was back on the beach and Shannon was sitting next to him.

"I told you." Shannon said as she kissed him on the cheek and disappeared.

Gibbs looked down the beach and saw Abby coming into view. She was holding the hand of a little girl with black pigtails just like her mother. He smiled and walked down to meet his wife and daughter.

The next morning, Gibbs woke up, in the same position he fell asleep in but he was alone. He got up and walked out onto the balcony and found Abby sitting there. She had her feet propped up on the railing and was lost in thought. Gibbs stood there watching her for the longest time. He moved quietly behind her and leaned down to kiss her on top of the head.

"Gibbs!" Abby said as she jumped.

"Good morning sunshine." Gibbs smiled.

"Did you sleep ok?" Abby asked.

"I did. Did you bring a change of clothes?"

"Yeah, it's in my bag."

"Go change. I want to take you somewhere."

Abby took the bathroom and changed clothes while Gibbs got ready in the bedroom. When she emerged, he was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and she was dressed the same way. He took her hand and they left the hotel room.

Gibbs took her the spot on the beach he was so familiar with. He sat down on the tree branch and pulled Abby down to him.

"I want to tell you about a dream I had." He said as he kissed her on the top of the head.