The Pizza Marathon
Jedi Goat
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, the coca-cola industry, Coffee Time ads or 'Party for Two' by Shania Twain
Author's Note: In this story, pretty much every character from the prequels lives. This happens five years after Revenge of the Sith. Anakin is still a Jedi, even though everyone knows he is married to Padmé and has twins. Ferus never left the Jedi, Obi-Wan has the Padawan hairstyle, and Padmé is still a Senator. And, for some reason, no one knows that Palpatine is a Sith, even though it is blatantly obvious. Also, Anakin loves pizza and Luke has a strange obsessing with coffee.
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Chapter 1: PIZZA PARTY!
Life was as normal as it got at the Skywalker home, nestled between two towers on Coruscant. Padmé was out at a Senate meeting. Luke was his strange, coffee-obsessed self, while Anakin was chowing down on pizza. Leia sat on the couch, reading a book on the history of the coca-cola industry. She paid no attention to the loud thumping coming from upstairs, knowing that her mother would deal with it when she returned in a few minutes. Padmé would come home to discover her home in ruins – or at least the bedroom.
Up in the bedroom, Luke and Anakin were jumping on the bed. Luke was tossing handfuls of coffee beans into the air like some insane version of the Easter Bunny. Anakin, meanwhile, was eating his 500th slice of pizza. Empty boxes littered the floor around the bed.
They had turned the stereo up so loud that the windows shook with each note. Either that, or because of the velocity at which the two Jedi were bouncing.
"I'm having a PARTY! DUN DUN DUN!" Anakin cried as he jumped. "MAN, I love this song!"
"WHOOP WHOOP DING!" Luke replied giddily.
Suddenly, the two of them froze. Somehow over the booming music they had heard the click of the lock indicating Padmé's return from the Senate.
Moving at light speed, Anakin raced around the room, pulling out his Shania Twain CD from the stereo, stuffing it in a pizza box and sticking it under the bed. If anyone found out he was listening to THAT…. Anakin refused to finish the thought. He stacked up the other boxes and stashed them by the door. He took a step back and admired his handiwork.
"I'm home!" Padmé announced, sounding exhausted. Senate meetings were always very tiring. However, to Anakin, they just seemed boring.
Padmé frowned as the house remained silent. No one rushed to greet her as they usually did. Where was everyone?
She quickly hung up her coat and headed toward the living room. She spotted Leia engrossed in a book and asked, "Leia, where's your brother and father?"
"Upstairs," Leia answered without looking up. Padmé started up the steps when she heard Luke's voice.
"Is it coffee time yet?"
"No," came Anakin's reply.
"But I saw an ad on the holonet that said coffee time is anytime!"
Padmé approached the closed door and knocked. The voices fell silent. She pushed open the door and entered. Her eyes registered everything at once: the rumpled bed covered with coffee beans, the little red 'on' light on the stereo, and the towering tower of pizza boxes.
Padmé rounded on her husband. "ANAKIN SKY-" she didn't get to finish. The pizza boxes wobbled precariously and then toppled down on her.
Anakin gasped in horror and flung himself onto the pizza box avalanche. He tossed the boxes away frantically, searching for Padmé. Luke sat on the floor and watched, hugging a nearly empty can of coffee beans.
Finally, beneath one box Anakin found his wife's head. She glared up at him, quickly erasing his relief at finding her.
"Anakin! You will clean up this mess. Now!"
Anakin rapidly agreed and began using the Force to chuck the pizza boxes at the garbage can.
Padmé freed herself from the pizzaslide and stormed into the bathroom to take a shower and remove the remnants of pizza from her ornate clothing.
Meanwhile, Luke, relieved that he had gotten off easy, went downstairs for a snack. He hadn't gotten to eat any pizza – or drink any coffee, and that made him sad.
As Luke pulled up a chair to stand on and searched through the high cupboards for some more coffee beans, Leia's voice floated over him.
"You're going to be in so much trouble, you know."
"No I'm not!" yelled Luke back, rummaging in the medicine cabinet. He knew his mother had hidden the coffee mix somewhere where she thought he wouldn't find it…but where?
Luke pulled out a likely looking jar. He tugged on its lid and sniffed the inside. "Hmm…doesn't smell like coffee."
Indeed, it smelled like mint.
Shrugging, he dumped the powder into the blender, and then added the remaining coffee beans and a cup of water. He plugged in the machine and remembered to put on the lid. Luke pushed down the button and waited.
WHIRRRRRR!
The lid spun off and the wet coffee splashed on Luke's face. He stood, gaping at the still-running empty blender.
"SITHSPIT!" Luke yelled at the blender, repeating the word he had heard his father say when he had accidentally set the oven on fire. Then Mace Windu, who had been in the house at the time, had told Anakin off for using the word. It must be something really bad, Luke thought excitedly.
He ran into the living room and called to Leia, "SITHSPIT!"
Leia glanced boredly up from her book, and then look back down. Then she did a double take. "Ew, Luke! What is that on your FACE!"
Luke grinned maliciously and touched the wet coffee. It felt kind of like mud, and if it would bug his sister, he would keep it on as long as he could.
"SITHSPIT!" Luke said again.
"It doesn't look like spit," Leia observed.
"Wanna touch it?" Luke smirked, moving closer.
"NO! GET AWAY! MOOOOOM!" shrieked Leia, drawing her informative book close to her chest.
Upstairs, Padmé had just finished her quick shower. She had changed into some clean clothes, and was preparing to put her Senatorial robes in the wash.
"Do you need anything washed, Annie?" she asked, looking up at Anakin as he scrubbed the pizza stains off the ceiling.
"No."
Padmé decided to check under the bed anyway, where Anakin's dirty socks always seemed to end up. She pulled up the edge of the covers and peered down into the dusty bowels of Under-the-Bed-Land. Padmé picked up a sock encrusted with grime, a disgusted look on her face. She spotted another pizza box and pulled it out.
"Honestly, how much pizza can one man eat?" she muttered, carrying the two items out of the room.
She was completely oblivious to the rattle of some object sliding around inside the pizza box.
To be continued...
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