EPIPHANY
CHAPTER 1
Flipping the Ship
EPIPHANY: momentsuddenlyrealizesunderstands something important
I thought I was happy and that everything in life was going just fine until the day I drove home after school with my two sisters to find a large moving truck in front of our house. We rarely saw Dad because he often worked very late at the office and he travelled a lot for work. Since Mom died four years ago, I have been taking care of my sisters, Mikasa, who is a year and half younger than me, and Isabel, who is three and half years younger.
We've been getting along pretty good, if I do say so myself. Okay, so nothing is perfect, but we split up the cleaning chores and I have, thanks to Mom's tutelage, become an excellent cook. Of course, it helps that my sisters are not especially picky eaters. We get up every morning, have breakfast and I drive them to school. Luckily the elementary school, the middle school Isabel just started and the high school Mika and I go to are on the same campus, so it's easy. Mika has her track and field practice after school, and Isabel has her drama club. Me, I just focus on my grades, though I do play piano recreationally. Mom taught me from an early age.
We usually came home around 6pm, had supper and did our homework before going to bed. I usually stayed up to see that Dad came home safely and occasionally heated up leftovers for him. He rarely came home before 9pm. We had all settled into a comfortable routine. Dad had been going on far more business trips over the past year, but we scarcely noticed since he was almost never home anyway. If you look up the word 'workaholic' in the dictionary, there's a picture of my Dad by it.
That Wednesday night, as we approached the house, Isabel was the first to actually voice the question that burned in all of our minds. "Levi, why are they taking all our stuff?!"
"That's strange. Dad's car is in the driveway. He's back from his trip early," Mikasa commented.
I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. "It's okay. We'll just ask Dad what's going on," I tried to reassure my sisters. It's hard to reassure others when you are very unsure yourself.
I pulled up alongside the curb across the street from our house since the movers were blocking the driveway. We all grabbed our packs and all but ran up into the house. There was chaos everywhere we looked. I couldn't help but cringe slightly at all the dirt being tracked in on the hardwood floors by the movers.
Poor Isabel and Mika both looked terribly pale as they saw the all but empty house. "What's going on?" Mika whispered in horror.
"Ah! Good! You're finally home! I was beginning to wonder. You're so late," Dad exclaimed as if nothing were going on. His voice seemed to echo off the walls of the almost empty living room.
I glanced at my watch. 5:07pm. "Actually, we're early for a school night," I replied. "What the fu – what's going on here?" I barely caught myself before cussing at my father – and believe me, I wanted to cuss him out, but not with my sisters right there worrying. I needed to stay strong and be mature for them.
"I have some very exciting news for all of you," Dad began. I could feel my world crumbling at those words. "We're moving to Portland, Oregon!"
"What?" My voice was barely a whisper I was so shocked. This couldn't get any worse. I could see mixed excitement and trepidation in Isabel's eyes, but pure fear in Mika's. Isabel was the sort who made new friends easily and was able to maintain long distance friendships, not to mention her love of adventure. Mika, on the other hand, was more like me. She didn't make friends easily. It took her a long time to warm up to people. Mina, Thomas and Frida were her only close friends. Luckily for me, Mika and Izzy were my only friends, and they were going with me.
"Well," Dad continued. "I'm getting married and we're moving in with Carla and her son, Eren in Oregon. I've quit the office here in Chicago and have a new job waiting in Portland. It will be fewer hours and less travel, so I'll be able to spend more time with my family."
Mika looked ready to kill something, and Izzy looked completely lost. I placed a hand on Mika's arm to hold her back and to keep her from blurting out the words I knew she'd regret later. "And just when did you plan on letting . . ." I caught myself before I finished what I was starting to shout at him. "When did this happen?" I tried to sound calm and rational, but I know I felt a quiver in my voice.
"About a year ago, I met Carla Jaëger while I was on a business trip to Portland. She was a waitress for the catering company that hosted the dinner at the conference. We went out for coffee after, had a few laughs and we decided that we had a lot in common, so we've been meeting frequently since then. A couple of months ago, I asked her to marry me and she said yes. So, I arranged to take a job in Portland and to move out there as soon as possible. We'll be stopping in Denver for the actual wedding, since that's where most of her family is. We'll be leaving first thing in the morning."
Two months? He's been planning this for two whole fucking months? And he's just now seen fit to tell his children about this? He's not even giving us a chance to adjust to the idea of a stepmother. He's not giving us a chance to say goodbye to friends and classmates. Mika has a track meet on Saturday and Izzy was so excited to get the lead in Peter Pan this year. What the actual fuck?!
I was still holding Mika back and had my other arm around Izzy's shoulders. "Very well. We'll go pack," I said emotionlessly.
Izzy, thankfully, was excited about this new adventure. It was a part of the girl's irrepressible charm. She had bright red hair and large teal green eyes (we can thank great-grandpa Sedley for those features) that would catch anyone's attention. She had an equally bright personality to match. She could get along with anyone and her enthusiasm was contagious – except for right now.
I was grateful that she was so excited and looking forward to seeing a new place and making new friends. She was imagining what our new step mother would be like. "I bet she's real pretty and will teach me all sorts of new things! And I'm gonna have another big brother!"
She was in the kitchen, calling up all of her friends to tell them what was happening and tell them that she would stay in contact and send lots of texts and pictures. She was quite the socialite. I had no fear of her getting along just fine in a new school.
I went to my sisters' room to check on Mikasa. She had all her clothes packed and ready to go and she sat dejectedly on the edge of her bed. She looked a lot like Mom. She had Mom's delicate facial features and her storm grey eyes. She keeps her ebony hair a little more than shoulder length and at fifteen years old is already becoming a lovely young woman. "I can't believe he's doing this to us," she said bitterly as I sat down beside her. "And don't you dare try to defend him this time!"
"I'm not defending him, Mika. He should have told us a long time ago so we could mentally prepare ourselves."
"Why can't we just stay here?" she asked. "You're the one who's been taking care of us since Mom died. Dad's almost never around anyway. And you have all that money you earn from the stock market. Why don't we just stay here with you and let Dad move on?"
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought the same exact thing, but I couldn't let Mikasa know that. I looked into her stormy eyes as I thought how to answer her. "Because it wouldn't be right. Just because he's handled this situation all wrong doesn't give us the right to make it worse. We have to at least give this a chance. It's supposed to be a happy time for Dad and his fiancé."
"But, Levi, don't you see? He's been leaving us alone in favor of being with this woman and her son," Mikasa protested. "They're the reason he hasn't been around for the past year. He's been spending time with them instead of us!"
Again, I'd been thinking the very same thing. "I know it looks like that –"
"It doesn't just look like that! That's the way it is!" Mikasa was starting to get loud.
"Mika, please. You'll upset Isabel. Please just give this a chance. It takes a lot of courage for a woman to take on a new family with three teenage kids she's never met before. Regardless of what Dad's done, we shouldn't make things more difficult than they already are. We need to show ourselves to be better than that. I'm begging you Mika, try to be pleasant and polite to Carla when you meet her. This is supposed to be a happy time, so we should try our best to make things as easy as we can for everyone," I explained. "We don't have to like it, Mika. We just have to make the best of it. Can you do that for me?"
Mikasa leaned on my shoulder and began to cry softly. "I will, Levi. But only for you and Izzy."
I put my arms around her and let her cry. I had all I could do to suppress the urge to scream in frustration. But see, that's the thing about me; I'm one of those 'don't rock the boat' kind of people. I do everything in my power to keep things peaceful and calm. I'm one of those people that avoids conflict at all costs – even if it means getting Mikasa to take her anger and frustration out on me. As for me, I keep my frustration deep inside so as not to upset my sisters and to be a good example to them. Believe you me, that is NOT easy.
The drive to Denver had been uneventful. Izzy and Mika took turns in the front seat beside me as we drove, Izzy talking incessantly. Good thing both Mika and I enjoy her ceaseless, happy chatter. We followed behind Dad, stopping only for gas and snacks. We stopped that night at a hotel that, much to Isabel's delight, had a swimming pool. That night I ended up with both girls sleeping on my bed. I guess they were comfortable enough, but as the unfortunate hot water bottle/body pillow, I found it difficult to sleep.
We were in the hotel suite the next morning getting ready for the wedding. It was actually going to be a real wedding in a church rather than a quickie with a JP as I had first thought. I had already helped Izzy get her dress fastened and her hair into a French braid. She was so excited to be taking part in the wedding as a flower girl. It was the first wedding any of us had been to.
Mikasa was less enthused even though she was to be a bride's maid. I was currently braiding her silky black hair, adding in baby's breath as I had done with Isabel. "We haven't even met the woman yet," she complained.
"I know," I told her gently. "But this is supposed to be a happy day of celebration, so please, at least try to be pleasant and try to have fun. Carla may be a very nice woman."
"I know, Levi, but . . . why did everything have to change? We were doing just fine the way we were."
"Life is all about changes. We have to adapt. We've no other choice. There, done. You look beautiful, Mika. Just like Mom."
Mikasa smiled wanly at our reflections. In as much as Mikasa looked like our mother, I looked more like Dad. I had Mom's jet black hair, which I kept short and in an undercut, but my eyes were an unusual light silver – almost ghost like. My facial features, however, were very much like Dad's. Another trait I inherited from Mom, unfortunately, was my height. I had determined that I was forever doomed to never grow above 5'3". Dad was a good 5'11", so I figure I'm a bit of a disappointment to him in that aspect.
"C'mon you two. It would probably be a good idea if we actually met our step mother before the actual wedding." I gave my reflection one last critical look before snorting derisively at it. I looked ridiculous in that suit and tie. As soon as the ceremony was done I was changing back into my jeans and tee shirt.
We pulled up to the church, and I was surprised by how full the parking lot was. We found Dad waiting just inside the side doors. "Ah! Good! You actually made it in time!" Dad greeted us happily. You'd think I made a habit of being late to everything the way he said it. I'll have you know I make a point of being early for everything. I was an hour early to the church for the express purpose of getting a chance to get to know our future step mother and brother at least a little before the wedding.
"WOW! You're beautiful!" Isabel exclaimed when she saw who I can only assume was Carla Jaëger. The woman was indeed lovely. She didn't seem old enough to have a son only three months younger than me. She had long chocolate brown hair that was currently done up in a beautiful loose French braid with baby's breath. Her eyes were large and brown and full of compassion – and a touch of trepidation. I had a feeling that this woman was going to be easy to get along with.
"Why thank you!" the woman replied. "You're quite the lovely young lady yourself. You must be Isabel."
"I'll be my red hair gave it away," Isabel giggled. I couldn't help but smile just a little; I loved that girl's laugh. It was like the joyful chirping of birds in springtime. She had a real talent for making those around her happy.
"Carla, I'd like you to meet my other two children," Dad interjected. "This is my oldest girl, Mikasa."
Mikasa nodded shyly and slowly extended her hand for a shake while mumbling a shy, "Hello."
"And this is my son, Levi. He's the same age as Eren. This, children, is my bride, Carla."
I decided to be the happy medium between my two sister's greetings and boldly extended my hand to Carla. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Jaë – um – Ack – uh" Real fucking smooth Levi! I just totally fell on my face there.
Carla had a wonderful laugh that was both hearty and light at the same time. She took my outstretched hand in both of hers. "Just call me Carla. And it's a pleasure meeting all of you too." She then turned to the boy, that until now, had been successfully hiding in the background unnoticed. "This is my son, Eren."
Isabel pounced on the poor kid before he even had a chance to acknowledge the introduction. "Hi! I'm Isabel, but everyone calls me Izzy! I'm so excited about having two big brothers!"
"Um . . . nice to meet you," the boy answered nervously but with a smile that could light up an entire football stadium. He was the spitting image of his mother; soft chocolate brown hair and large expressive eyes. But instead of brown, they were the most unusual shade of light bluish green.
I nudged Mikasa who was just glaring at the poor kid. She half heartedly shook hands with a mumbled hello. I flicked her elbow in reprimand.
I offered my hand to the boy. "Nice to meet you, Eren."
There was something in his expression that I couldn't quite place as he took my hand, smiled and replied, "Yeah. Nice to meet you too, roommate."
I shot Dad a confused glare. Roommate? I was going to have to share a room with this kid I just barely met? This kid is having to give up half of his room for me? Okay, so if I go to college, I won't have any say in who my roommate is, but this isn't college. How many more rude surprises are we in for? Does this mean that Mika and Izzy will be sharing a room too? Not that they would mind seeing as they'd always shared a room to sleep in. I was seriously pissed at Dad, but I managed to maintain my neutral emotionless façade.
"You'll have to excuse, Levi. He's not the most socialized boy in the world," Dad explained, sounding a little embarrassed.
I looked at Dad in shock. "Where the f-ff-" I caught myself before I shouted out the rest of 'Where the fuck do you get off saying that? You don't even know me!' Instead, I held my tongue, lowered my head and said, "I'm sorry. You're right."
Like Mikasa, I liked routine and hated change – even small changes. This was no small change. This was a huge change. It was getting increasingly difficult to keep my sisters balanced when I myself was so off balance.
It was a beautiful ceremony, and I was surprised by the number of people in attendance. Turns out Carla had a very big family. The reception was actually being held outdoors at the country club a short drive away. It was unusually warm for the end of September, so it was really very pleasant being outside in the sun.
Izzy and Mikasa were entertaining themselves by the koi pond after all the pictures had been taken. I needed a few minutes to myself to think. I found a secluded spot under the shade of a yellowing weeping willow on a bench beside a wishing well. I had stood and was leaning on the edge of the well staring at all of the copper and silver coins glinting in the sunlight at the bottom. I was wishing that I would wake up and find out this was all just a bad dream.
I had promised Mom to keep the family together and to make sure Izzy and Mika were raised the way Mom had taught. I had promised to keep everyone happy. "How am I gonna do that now?"
"How are you going to do what?" I stood up a little too quick and knocked the back of my head on the well's bucket crank. I hadn't realized I had spoken aloud for one. I hadn't even noticed Carla approaching for another.
"I'm sorry, Carla. I was just thinking out loud."
She went and sat on the bench and indicated that I should do the same. I sat beside her and she took my hand in her warm and deceptively delicate one. "I have to admit," I began. "I really admire your courage. It can't be easy to marry into a family with three teenagers you've never even met before."
She smiled sweetly. "It's true. I've been terribly nervous. I still am. It will take time and patience for us to settle in as we get to know each other."
"Tell me something, what exactly do you see in my father? Frankly, I sometimes wonder what Mom ever saw in him."
Carla giggled at that question. "I still wonder what my mother ever saw in my father. Honestly, after Grisha died in that accident, I thought I'd never fall in love again. But then I met your father quite by accident . . . literally."
I raised an eyebrow. "Literally?"
"He never told you how we met?"
I snorted before I could catch myself. "Are you kidding me? He never even . . ." No. I can't tell her that. This is supposed to be the happiest day of her life. Don't go fucking it up. "He didn't give us any details," I corrected with a small chuckle.
From the way she looked at me, I knew Carla had caught my near angry slip. But she smiled instead and answered. "I was one of the waitresses for the catering company that was hosting the dinner at a conference your father was at. I came out the doors from the kitchen and literally ran into him. It's a miracle that the dry cleaners were able to get those marsala stains out of his suit."
I found myself laughing in spite of myself. "That poses quite the picture. I wish I could have seen that."
"Oh, it was quite the sight. Your father standing there, perfectly coiffed and wearing pasta, salad and chicken all over," Carla laughed. "Not may love stories start out that way."
"He says he's known you for just over a year," I commented.
Carla gave me another strange look. "Yes. We've spent a lot of time together. We've done a lot of hiking and camping. He even took Eren out deep sea fishing."
Wait. What? He took Eren fishing? He's never done anything like that with me! He's never done anything with me period. Okay, Levi. Stay calm. It's not Carla or Eren's fault that Dad loves them more . . . Keep things calm, just like Mom would have wanted.
"You and your sister's must feel like I've been stealing your father away from you," Carla said sadly.
Yeah, that's exactly what Mikasa and I think. "Of course not. If that were true, he wouldn't have brought us out here with him. He'd have just left us in Chicago. It's just a big change. That's all."
Carla smiled again. That was definitely where Eren got his smile from. "Thank you, Levi. I've been very nervous about meeting all of you. But I guess you've all been nervous too. We'll make this work out – together – as a family."
I watched her walk away, then leaned forward and buried my face in my hands. Forget not rocking the boat. The ship has been completely flipped over! "How am I going to make this work?"
