Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs
She wants to go home, but nobody's home
It's where she lies, broken inside
Meredith sat down on the bench in the locker room, she was so tired. She covered her face with her palms and rested her elbows on her slightly parted knees. Her breathing was heavy and her eyes were closed. She just sat there, focusing on the breathing – she had just saved an emergency patient with whom she spent 10 long hours in the o.r., her resident was informing the family now, because Meredith was hurrying to see hers, at least that what she told. Callie has the kids for the night, because she was called to emergency at 10 pm and now it was closer to 4 am. Callie will do fine.
So much has changed lately – Lexie is dead, Mark is dead, Teddy left, she gave birth to Bailey, Christina left for Zurich and Derek's in DC, plus she has a sister named Maggie and Derek's sister Amelia is here now.
Since she became intern about a decade ago, she has been able to rely on Cristina or Izzie or George or Alex, she had Derek here, even though he was not always there for her, she had Lexie for mere 5 years… She was alone before coming to SGH and now she seems to be alone again in the Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital. Nothing is as it was supposed to be.
4 am and she has no place to go. She could go to the house in the woods, but it's so big and empty. The bed she used to share with Derek, the room, where Zola and Bailey usually sleep, Cristina's room… Suddenly she doesn't feel like she belongs there anymore, it doesn't feel like home. She feels like an alien there.
She misses her person and her husband, Cristina and Derek have been her rock for so long, it's hard to be without them.
Suddenly the door opened and Meredith rose her head to look at the intruder – Alex.
"What are you still doing here?" he asked.
"Had an emergency laparotomy. You?" Meredith replied, exhaustion evident in her voice.
"Babysat one of the kids, he finally fell asleep, so I can go home," Alex said.
Alex changed out of his scrubs, knowing Meredith was used to that and he didn't feel embarrassed at all, they've shared the same locker room for a decade now, and seeing each other half naked was not anything new. Besides she had interrupted his shower more than once or twice.
"You're not heading home?" Alex asked and pulled his long-sleeved shirt over his head.
Meredith didn't reply, she didn't know what to say.
"Mer?" Alex asked and sat down beside her.
"It's empty," Meredith said, "Derek's gone, kids are with Callie, Cristina is gone. The house is so big, but it's also empty."
Alex considered his options for a moment and then roughly got up from beside her and stood in front of her.
"Come on, get up and get changed, we're going home," Alex announced.
"What?" Meredith asked.
"Cristina left me you, and now you need a friend, so I'm taking you home. Get up and get changed or would you rather get out of here in scrubs," Alex said easily.
Meredith numbly got up and did as Alex ordered, she changed out of her scrubs into her regular clothes, grabbed her coat and bag.
"Now what?" Meredith asked.
"Told you, I'm taking you home," Alex said as easily as before, but that didn't ease the confusion from her expressions.
"I just said that I can't go home," Meredith protested.
Alex shook his head, took her handbag and placed his hand on her lower back, leading her out of the locker room through the now quiet halls of hospital.
"Meredith, just because Derek isn't here and your kids are not home, doesn't mean that you don't have home or anyone waiting for you there. There is always one place, where you belong," he said softly as they reached the elevators and he pressed the button.
"How hard did you hit your head?" Meredith asked ironically, because all that Alex said made no sense to her.
Alex laughed at the comment and stepped into the elevator, when it arrived.
"You are not as broken as you think," he said soothingly and rubbed his hand on her lower back in smooth circles.
"I don't think I am broken," Meredith protested.
"You can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me. I know you, have known you through it all," Alex said as calmly as he had been since he found Meredith in the locker room.
And to that, Meredith could not protest, because there was a truth in what Alex said – he has been through it all - the bomb, drowning, her mother's death, Susan's death, the arrival of Lexie, fights with Cristina, the plane crash, the shooter, adopting Zola, miscarriage and all of the troubles with Derek, including Addison, Rose, the clinical trial up to the proposal, wedding and having kids. Alex has been there all the time, whenever she needs him, even though they have had fights in the past, they always made it up and now, when Cristina is gone and Derek's away, then Alex is almost the only person, who has known her through it all. The one, who really knows her.
They walked out of the building and Alex led her to his car, being the gentleman he opened the door for her and then handed her the handbag he had been carrying all this time, then got into the driver's seat and started the car.
"Are now you telling me where we're going?" Meredith asked the almost forgotten question.
"I told you, we're going home," Alex replied easily, slight annoyance in his voice, but it could be tiredness both of them were feeling.
Meredith pouted and settled into tapping her fingers over her bag, trying to relax her nerves, but getting on his instead, though he never said anything.
She instantly recognized the road he was taking – it's the same road she drove herself for so many years. Alex was going home indeed, but he was going to his home, not the place she called home now.
"So you are taking me home," Meredith tried to be smart, proud of herself for finally figuring it out.
"I told you that from the start," Alex said and rolled his eyes.
Meredith kept the smile on her face for a moment longer, before dropping it and shaking her head for not thinking about it before.
Soon Alex pulled up in front of the house, ironically at the same spot, where Derek parked a decade ago, and she ended up half naked in his front seat, where Bailey caught them.
"We're home," Alex announced.
"It is home," Meredith repeated.
Both of them got out of the car and went to the door, Meredith pulled up her keys, but forgot, that she no longer has it; Alex unlocked it instead and let her in.
"Do you want beer or something?" Alex asked and went to the fridge.
"Sure," Meredith said and took a seat on the couch, while Alex got a beer for both of them.
Alex returned briefly and took a seat right by her. He casually took the remote and turned the TV on, flipping through channels, finally setting on some random movie.
"It's funny how the house I wanted to sell became the first real home I had," Meredith said and looked around, remembering every single piece of the house.
"To think how many people have grown up in this house," Alex continued, "I don't think you as a kid or Zola, but all of us – me, you, Izzie and George, even Cristina – and then Lexie, now Jo… This house is like the legendary interns house."
"Strange," Meredith agreed and wrinkled her nose.
"This house has legacy," Alex said and raised his eyebrows.
"You're nasty," Meredith commented and shoved him playfully.
"You and McDreamy started in here," Alex continued his tease.
"Yeah, right on the same couch we're sitting on now," Meredith went along.
Alex jumped from the couch and gave it a nasty look, then sat back comfortably and gave Meredith a painful look.
"Relax, Jo just got you the couch," Meredith said, laughing, "But I'm not kidding about doing it on the floor and against every wall in the living room. Oh, good times, good times."
"Stop it, you make me wanna puke," Alex begged, still wearing the expression of being in pain.
"You started it," Meredith smirked.
Alex shrugged his shoulders and took the remote once again since he was not in a mood for 80ies romance movie that was on. Instead he switched to some police drama and left the remote by his side.
He shifted on his spot, moved closer to Meredith and stretched out his free hand so it was loosely around Meredith on the couch.
"You're not nobody. You are someone. You're a mother and sister and wife, even if it doesn't feel like that. You are someone to so many people," Alex said softly, "And you might as well be my person or whatever," he added.
Meredith smiled.
"Thank you. You know, I never would have picked you and me to be the last ones standing. I couldn't have imagined myself sitting in this living room with the intern, who mistook me for a nurse on my first day as an intern and feel like this is home. But I wouldn't change it for anything," Meredith spoke.
"Well, we all had some growing up to do. I didn't think that I'd want to spend time with a woman without thinking about sex and trying to get her naked; but as it comes out, it's possible," Alex added.
Meredith hit his chest playfully.
"Let's face it, we were different people back then, but we became someone else. We grew up, got married, I got divorced while you had kids. We are not who we were and we have made this place our home. You know this house has always been a shelter to whoever might need it. The doors are always open for you. You will make it work with McDreamy, but until he comes back to his senses and returns to you, this is the best I can offer – this house filled with memories and my unconditional support and love," Alex continued.
"You're right. Thank you, Alex. I really needed this tonight," Meredith was thankful.
"Any time, Mer," Alex said with a smile and dropped a quick kiss in her hair, while his arm around her tightened and she leaned further onto him.
"You feel like home, Alex."
"As long as you need me, I'll be here. I'll be your home, like you offered me one years ago."
They focused on the TV, but the exhaustion took over and soon the doctors were fast asleep on the couch with 2 beer bottles on the table.
That's exactly how Jo found them in the morning, when she got ready to go to the hospital. She crossed her hands and watched as her boyfriend slept with another woman in his arms. There was no denying it – Jo was jealous of Meredith and whatever relationship she had with her Alex. But then again the two had been together for a long time now, seen through a lot and maybe Meredith understood Alex in level she never will.
Then again Jo herself had been fascinated by Meredith lately – she was on a streak. Meredith was Jo's God at this time in a hospital, but she was far from that on the couch with Alex.
As Jo debated on what to do, she decided against waking them, seems like they could use some rest. Instead she grabbed a blanket and threw it on them. Jo noticed how Alex somewhat reacted to the movement, but he only moved closer to Meredith.
She was definitely jealous now. It took her a moment to realize, that Alex was with her now and Meredith had 2 kids with Derek Shepard. Meredith was married to Derek. She posed no real threat to her. But why was Jo so jealous?
But then a conversation between Alex, Callie, Maggie and Meredith came to her mind, though Alex, Callie and Meredith did most of the talking.
"Everybody lived here."
"Everyone lives here."
From what Jo could gather was that a long time ago Meredith offered Alex a place to live and her support, and Derek was okay with that, then Jo could cut Alex some slack and let him return the favor. After all, this house used to belong to Meredith – it's where she grew up, it's where he grew up.
This house really is everybody's home.
***GA***
Everybody's someone
And when it's hard to hold on
Remember you are not alone
This house is everybody's home
