setting: NYC, NY, USA and a church.
characters: Jellal and Erza mostly.
notes: this is an AU with a kind of military theme kind of? um. well im sorry for my lack of military funeral knowledge and stuff, i wrote this really fast, so i didnt do any research or anything.
notes2: i hope you all like this and any mistakes are my own because i dont have a beta reader ok? thanks!

/ / /

She slowly drove to the church. Her white dress clung to her body and her brown orbs were puffy and the bags beneath her eyes were barely covered by concealer. She was shivering and her long scarlet hair was stark against the ivory fabric.

Scarlet.

Her chocolate eyes shone with fresh tears, but they hesitated on the very edge of her eyelashes. Her chest was moving quickly, and she was surprised her lungs were supporting oxygen at all. She was clutching the blue lock of his hair like it was her lifeline – she needed something blue for a wedding, right? Her car pulled into the parking lot and she couldn't go in there yet. She couldn't see his closed, lifeless (-vibrant, loving-) eyes and still, cold (-energetic, huggable-) body lying there.

She brought her fisted hands to her chest and a tear dripped onto her cheek, tracing an old track through her hastily-applied blush.

/ / /

She was walking swiftly through the crowded streets of New York City, trying to hail down a taxi because she was not walking – more like stumbling – to her apartment in her new boots. Whistling at a passing yellow car to no avail, she growled and spun around quickly to maybe look for a bus – that is, only to ram right into the (sculpted) chest of a pedestrian. Obviously, she immediately fell backwards at the impact and prepared for a rough landing on the unforgiving concrete, but only to feel a pressure on her muscled upper arm. Wood-brown eyes met chocolate ones and he smiled while gently righting her.

"Hello – I'm terribly sorry about that. I should be more careful." He said eloquently, and she was surprised how articulate he was. Honestly, not many people were these days. She smiled and fought off the blush that threatened to attack her cheeks.

"No, no it's okay – it was all my fault." She reassured him as she straightened her black pencil skirt. She flashed him a brighter smile and tried to ignore his odd tattoo and weirdly blue hair (but then again, she has a client who has green hair, so…).

"My name is Jellal Fernandes. What's your name?" He asked while sticking out a rough, calloused hand. She firmly shook his (and tried to ignore that her hand was dwarfed by his) and grinned.

"Erza." She said while pulling her hand out of his grip. Jellal quirked an eyebrow.

"No last name?" He asked inquisitively, and she blushed and ran a hand through her long locks.

"I prefer not to give it out." She admitted, and he flashed her a brilliant smile as his eyes lit up (suspiciously?).

"Then I'll make one up!" She gaped.

"No, no, that's okay-,"

"Scarlet!" Her jaw dropped at the suggestion. Jellal was grinning happily, completely pleased with his decision. They were talking like old friends, and they didn't know anything past each other's names… Erza sighed inwardly. This is New York City for you.

"Why do you say that?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow at him. He shrugged.

"Because it's like your hair – this way I won't forget your name." He explained, and she frowned. Then he smiled and started walking away.

"H-hey! I thought we were talking!" She shouted after him, ignoring the odd looks people gave her. He just spun around and waved a single hand.

"We'll see each other soon, Erza Scarlet." He promised, and with that, he spun on his heel and melded in with the bustling city.

She fumed.

/ / /

She slowly climbed out of her car and held the rose to her heart, trying to control the shaking in her knees, and slowly walked up the sidewalk to the church. The sun was shining and it was too happy of a day – it wasn't fitting her mood. The world should be grieving with her – the world should stop moving – because he was gone and she was still here.

She faced the weathered doors with a look akin to fury, but her bottom lip was trembling too hard to do anything. She opened the door and stepped into the chapel with watery eyes. Her heart was pounding painfully against her ribcage and the flower in her grasp was shuddering. The petals were tickling her collar bone and she slowly moved forward – almost as if in slow motion. He was there at the altar, but he should be smiling. Laughing. Anything. Not silent. Not… still.

Not dead.

/ / /

"Erza Scarlet." She shivered when he said her name like that – he made her first name and her made-up last name into one, whole name and she loved it. "You have an interesting outlook on things." He informed her while taking up residence on her couch. She fumbled over her words in her haste to get them out.

"W-what do – how could – no! My outlook is far more than interesting," She growled, causing him to raise his hands in an innocent gesture, and she sighed. She walked into the kitchen of her flat and started brewing a pot of coffee. She heard a happy sigh coming from the direction of her couch.

"I love coffee. Erza Scarlet – you know me too well." He murmured and then hugged a (fluffy pink) pillow to his chest while smiling like a fool. She shook her head, exasperated. They literally just met a few weeks ago and now he showed up at her house at five in the morning demanding coffee (but bearing donuts).

"Sure I do, Jellal." She muttered as she pushed his legs to the side. However, when he refused to budge, she just slipped over them so that her own (mostly bare) legs were on top of his jean-clad ones. He poked her. She turned a sharp stare onto him, but he just smiled. "So why is my outlook on things interesting?" She said the word like it was a disease, and his smile morphed into a cattish grin.

"Oh, Erza Scarlet." Goose bumps spread across her arms, "It's because you're just an interesting person." He said, and she sighed at the answer. She leaned back against the buttery leather surface of her couch and let her eyes slip shut as the scent of coffee wafted over to her.

"Whatever, Jellal." She muttered and she felt his legs shift beneath her.

He chuckled.

/ / /

She slowly walked up the aisle. People were staring – people she knew, people she didn't, just people who he didn't know either. Eyes were on her ivory-clad form and she didn't care as she walked up those three steps, getting right in front of his beautifully carved mahogany casket.

She wished it was ugly so she could hate it more.

Her hands were shaking so bad that they dropped the rose onto his chest and a bud drifted onto his collar bone, where is rested. It looked like blood against the pale (too pale, too white) skin. She set her cold hand on his ridiculously tux-covered chest and tried to ignore the fact that he was wearing a yellow tie when he hated yellow. Carefully, she started to untie it because she knew he would never forgive her if she let him be buried in such a hideous color. Methodically, she pulled the gaudy (and inappropriate for a funeral) tie from his neck and let it drop to the ground in a nasty, yellow heap. A sob was heard somewhere in the room, but she ignored it as her sharp, misty gaze stared hard at him.

She laid her now too-still hands on his (too still, too still, oh god oh god) chest and tried to find a heartbeat, a breath, a beat – a pulse. Anything to prove that she was insane or dreaming or in a coma or a never-ending nightmare – something to say that her mind was lying to her and that he was alive somewhere out there. Because the fact that such a bright being may be dead and gone without a word is so unbelievably wrong that she… she…

/ / /

Her brown eyes widened. "Really?" She asked, dumbfounded. He gave her a mock-hurt look and clutched his chest, as if wounded by her words.

"Yes, really. I really am waiting for a call from the military, and then I'll be off to god-knows-where." Jellal said with a slightly sad smile. She frowned and touched his cheek, completely stunning herself at the uncharacteristically bold move, while he just smiled. She quickly returned her hand to her lap.

"That sounds lonely." She commented and he sighed with a nod. He ran a pale hand through his blue locks.

"Probably is." Silence ensued between them for a moment as she tapped her index finger against the pillow on her lap.

"It's really awesome that you're doing this for our country." He cocked his head at her statement and raised an eyebrow.

"Not really. A lot of people do it." He muttered offhandedly while waving a hand, as if to say it wasn't a big deal. She smiled at his silliness.

"Maybe not to you, but you could have a chance to save somebodies life or something heroic like that." She said while punching his shoulder. He rubbed it with a frown.

"I guess so."

"Well I know so." He gave her a fiery look and she was refraining from squirming underneath his gaze. After a few long moments, he smiled slightly and shrugged.

"Like I said… you're interesting, Erza Scarlet."

/ / /

Her body was trembling terribly when a single hand touched her shoulder. She barely felt it. A woman's voice spoke.

"He… he died heroically," Ultear whispered softly. Her voice was strained and Erza could easily imagine tears running down her pretty face. Erza just shook her head while a sob escaped her lips.

"He wasn't supposed to leave," the scarlet-haired woman explained, "he was supposed to come home. He promised. He promised me… he promised me he'd come home," her voice broke on the word and more tears streaked down her cheeks. Another hand touched her other shoulder.

"Erza," it was Gray's strained voice. She could imagine his lips pursed and jaw tightened to stop the tears from flowing. He was always the strong one. "Erza…" She just continued to shake her head.

"N-no… he was supposed to come back… we were supposed to get married. And be happy," she sobbed out while placing her forehead on his chest, "not dead, Jellal."

Not dead.

/ / /

Her eyes were wide as she stared at him, "What?" that was her remarkably intelligent answer. He sighed and rolled his eyes while shaking the little black box in his hand.

"Erza Scarlet," he started while she eyed the ring, "you're supposed to scream with joy and have awesome sex with me. Not say 'what'," Jellal explained to the woman who was too shocked to blush over his comment.

"I… I'm too stunned to think of a response," she admitted breathlessly. Erza flinched when the box suddenly snapped shut, "W-what…?" Then, she was airborne in his arms and a blush finally decided to heat up her face like a fire. His smoldering brown eyes met her own and she got lost in the depths as he set her on the island in her small kitchen.

"I'll put it in simpler terms then," he took her hands in his and gave his handsome face became very serious. His gaze never wavered from hers, "Erza Scarlet. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?" she nodded, "Do you love me with all of your heart?" another nod, "Do you mind my insufferable sarcasm?" she shrugged at this, and he just gave her a half-smirk, "Better than what I was expecting. Look, I love you. I love you with all of my heart. I want to spend the rest of this horrible life with you, because you make it far better than it would be if I was alone, okay? And plus," he added with an evil glint in his eye, "your so cute in the morning."

Then her lips were on his. He was a little surprised at first, but quickly responded by wrapping his hands around her slim waist and smiling against her strawberry-flavored lips. She was the first to pull away, albeit breathlessly and with a light pink blush decorating her cheeks.

"Yes," she breathed. Jellal blinked, not understanding, "Yes. Yes. I'll marry you, you insufferable moron. Because I love you. I love you so much – more than I thought possible. So yes. I'll marry you. I want you to be my husband, but more than that, I want to be your wife," she whispered and her breath fanned across his face. He blinked once more before he broke out into a joyous smile.

"Yes, you said yes. You said yes," he kissed her cheeks and then her nose and then her chin and lips and forehead, all while laughing, "You said yes! Erza Scarlet, I promise to treasure you for eternity and beyond." She giggled and captured his lips with her own.

"Now time for the awesome sex," he said against her lips.

She didn't resist as he carried her to the bedroom.

/ / /

"Jellal, you moron!" She yelled, not caring who the hell heard her. Not caring what everyone thought of her. Not caring at all about anything, "You weren't supposed to leave!" Her voice cracked and she started sobbing before a pair of hands pulled her away.

"Erza," Lucy whispered while stroking the girl's scarlet hair. Erza shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. The young blonde pulled her broken friend to her chest and wrapped her arms around her. The redhead clung to Lucy as if she was a lifeline.

"Lucy, he wasn't supposed to leave," she cried into her friend's shoulder. Lucy nodded as tears fell from her own chocolate eyes.

"I know, Erza," she nodded and kissed her friend's head, wishing she could take even a tiny part of the pain she was experiencing right now.

Erza shook her head again, "He wasn't supposed to die." Lucy's eyebrows scrunched up and her pretty orbs filled with even more tears as Gray and Natsu watched the pair with sad, sad eyes.

"I know, Erza…" she shut her eyes against the image of Jellal's still body in the coffin and swallowed back a loud sob, "I know."

/ / /

"Erza Scarlet," he stared at her hard as her eyes filled with tears, "I'll be back. A war can't kill me. Nothing can kill me," Jellal promised as he set a hand on the side of her face. She nodded and barreled into his arms, inhaling his scent and kissing his cotton-clad chest.

"I love you," she squeaked out against his muscles. He kissed the top her head and memorized her hair color.

"I love you too," he whispered back.

She pulled away but kept her arms around him and met his eyes, "But this isn't goodbye. It's never goodbye, okay? Right? Because we'll meet again," Erza was on the verge of pleading and he smiled while swallowing back tears.

"Of course, Erza Scarlet. It's never goodbye," he repeated while leaning forward and kissing her forehead while repeating the same words in his head over and over. He went to pull away when she tightened her hold one last time.

"Jellal," she murmured seriously as tears streaked down her cheeks, "you have to come home. Because you promised. You promised forever, okay? So don't forget. Don't leave me for too long," then she got up on her tip-toes and kissed his cheek, "don't leave me forever."

"Come on, guys, time to leave!" A rough voice called and she choked on a sob.

"Go," she gave him a gentle push towards the bus that would take them to god-knows-where, "go be a hero, Jellal." His brown eyes spoke more than any amount of words ever could as he walked backwards to the vehicle as other people climbed on while waving to their families. She watched as he found his seat, which was on a side where he could wave to her, and he did just that but took it a step further. He leaned out of the small window and shouted to her as the bus started to drive away.

"I love you, Erza Scarlet!" Jellal yelled with a brilliant smile on his face. She smiled through the tears as the bus disappeared down the street.

"I love you too…" she breathed to no one, "Jellal."

/ / /

The ceremony commenced. A priest was asking God to accept his soul into heaven and blah, blah, blah. Erza almost stopped everything out of exasperation because Jellal was never religious. He didn't believe in a god or any single thing – he liked to "keep his options open". But still, her tears kept flowing until finally, they dried up. Then a folded-up flag was handed to her and she just stared, not really comprehending it. What was this? What was this supposed to mean? That he fought for her country? That he was appreciated? She didn't need a flag to tell her that her husband – no… fiancé… was amazing. She didn't need this thing to tell her that he was brave and loyal and beautiful. No. She didn't need a damn thing to remind her of that.

And then they carried him outside and buried him six feet under then earth. She stared lifelessly as the top was closed and he was slowly lowered. Dirt was piled on top of him and she mused that he would probably like a flower to grow on his grave. He'd have some zen-like thing to say of it. "Erza Scarlet, life comes from death." She nearly laughed at the thought, because really, he would say that.

"Erza, are you okay?" The voice startled her out of her thoughts and she answered before her brain caught up with her.

"No. No, of course not. Why ask that?" And she turned to see the voice belonged to Lucy, who just nodded, unfazed by her rudeness.

"I know. I'm sorry," Erza waved her hand, not caring. And then people came up and offered their condolences, to which she practically scoffed at. Really? 'I'm sorry for your loss?' It'd be better if they slapped her across the face. Then, when everyone finally dispersed, she walked slowly to the headstone and stared down at it. She sank to her knees and more tears streamed down her cheeks (she thought they were all gone) and unimaginable pain erupted in her chest, sending white-hot arcs across her heart. Erza stroked the diamond ring on her hand with shaky fingers.

"Jellal…" she whispered brokenly to the headstone that read his name, "Welcome home."

/ / /

umm... so... Jerza anyone? like ive been wanting to do a jerza fic for a while, but you know me; i do sad shit. so here it is. an army au? whatever idk. enjoy lovelies! lover's remorse will be updated soon and hopefully so will this is all wrong (maybe because i haven't been feeling very humorous lately). anyways. love you all.

AND GUYS. im thinking of writing a fic for a crack pairing. maybe JuviaxRogue (I LOVE THIS)? or LisannaxSting (I LOVE THIS TOO)? OR MAYBE JUVIAXNATSU (YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS)!? LIKE LITERALLY I ACTUALLY HAVE A STORY OF A JUVIAXNATSU FIC. im sorry. I JUST LOVE CRACK PAIRINGS.

okay now im actually sorry for my rant. so anyways, if you have an idea for a super crack pairing that maybe i should write about, tell me! or just tell me about crack pairings that you like at all! whatever! (and my otps are still nalu and gruvia and jerza and gale, but i love all crack pairings. like laxusxlucy! *squeal*)

and if you've read this far, then leave a review! i love all y'alls faces.