Death and the maiden.
Sunday, July 20th, somewhere in the air above the United Sates
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to O'Hare International Airport. Local time is 4:25pm and the temperature is 22 degrees.
For your safety and comfort, please remain seated with your seat belt fastened until the Captain turns off the Fasten Seat Belt sign. This will indicate that we have parked at the gate and that it is safe for you to move about.
Please check around your seat for any personal belongings you may have brought on board with you and please use caution when opening the overhead bins, as heavy articles may have shifted around during the flight.
We remind you to please wait until you are inside the terminal to use any electronic devices (or to smoke in the designated areas.)
On behalf of American Airlines and the entire crew, I'd like to thank you for joining us on this trip and we are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future. Have a nice..."
He has heard this kind of announcement so many times before that he didn't really paid attention today. He was quite tired because of the flight, and the jet lag (it was 11:25pm in London), but most of it, he was overly excited about what was going to happen in a few hours. When the plane finally stopped, he got up, took his bag underneath his seat and worked his way out of the plane as fast as he could. As he reached the terminal, he took out his phone from his pocket, ready to call the person who was supposed to come and pick him up, in case he didn't find her. A few minutes later he heard someone who was calling his name "Kevin ! Kevin !" He turned his head on the left and saw the woman he was looking for, waving at him with a huge smile. He smiled back and walked towards her holding out his arms to greet her with a hug.
"Margo ! I'm so happy to see you again ! It's been a while, how are you ?" Kevin said cheerfully
"So nice to see you too, I'm fine thank you ! Did you have a nice trip ?" Margo asked as they walked towards the exit.
"Excellent ! I'm tired of course but I'm kinda used to you know" he chuckled. "Hey do you have a minute for a drink ? I see a Starbucks over there and I think I really need a coffee and we can catch up and talk about our plan for tonight, what do you think ?" He asked smiling.
"Yes I would love to !" Margo said enthusiastically.
After they ordered, and that Kevin took a photo with the cashier and signed five or six autographs on coffee cups, they managed to have a seat in the corner, with a coffee for him and a latte for her.
"How do you do that ?" Margo asked him, impressed.
"Do what ?"
"That !" She said waving her hand around to show him she was talking about the fangirling thing that just happened.
"Oh that !" He said laughing, "this is another thing I'm used to, it's a part of the job that I kinda like actually. No matter what, I just can't say no, that's a part of who I am." he added smiling almost apologetically.
"Wow, you're a good man, not surprising that people like you..." She admired him at loud, then there was an awkward silence which she quickly broke by desperately looking for something in her hand bag. "Anyway, for tonight, I have you're ticket... Somewhere... In my bag... Here it is !" She said, handing him his ticket. "So, the play is at 8:00pm, so we can meet at 7:00pm in front of the theatre and then we will go and take our seats is that ok ?" Margo proposed.
"Yeah absolutely, sounds great ! What about S-.." He started to ask.
"Don't worry, she doesn't know anything ! She will be really surprised I think ! She is going to stay in her dressing room for a while after the play, like she does every night, so you can meet her there. It was quite challenging you know, to not let the cat out of the bag, she was whining all the time that you had promised her that you'll come to see her but you didn't yet...I was trying to keep a face that gave nothing away, I was the actress in here and I think I was good enough ! But I think it is great that you waited until the last performance to come, it will be even more surprising !" She laughed "Everything is all planned !".
"Oh yes, don't worry about that... Everything is planned indeed..." He thought.
"Thank you so much Margo !" He simply said. They finished their drinks, chatting about each other's life, then they left and drove to Kevin's hotel.
"See ya Margo, thanks again !" He said as he got out of the car and went to check in at the Trump International Hotel. He went to the reception to get his key card, then got on the elevator to the 27th floor. When he entered his room, the view took his breath away. There was a floor-to-ceiling window with a view of the Chicago skyline, it was absolutely stunning. He walked around the bedroom, took a look at the bed, which was really huge he thought, then he tried to push away all the thoughts that came in his mind about what would probably happen in this bed in a few hours. He looked at his watch, it was 5:45pm by now, so he decided to take a shower and get ready for tonight.
Half an hour later, Kevin got out of his room in a slim fit Italian black suit which perfectly fit around his muscular shoulders and chest. Before he left the hotel, he gave one last phone call to make sure that everything would take place the way he had planned it. Then he took a taxi which drove him to the Victory Gardens Theater.
Margo was already there waiting for him. She waved at him, he joined her and it was time to line up.
Meanwhile backstage...
She was sitting cross-legged on the floor of her dressing room, her hands on her knees, trying to focus on her breathing. She was nervous, like every time she was going to take the stage, but tonight there was something more... She was anxious yes, but mainly she was sad and disappointed. He had promised her that he would come. Tonight was her last performance and he didn't show up. Maybe it was her fault after all... Maybe it was because of what she said to him the last time they met...
They were in bed, in her bed to be precise, a week before he left for Scotland.
Her head was resting on his bare chest, while her fingertips were tracing all kind of things oh his stomach. He was stroking her hair, like he was used to whenever she was in his arms, then he kissed her on top of her head before he asked softly "What are we gonna do now ?"
She raised her head to look at him with a quizzical look "Wha-.. What do you mean ?" She asked
"I mean us.. What are we going to do about us ?.. I mean, we won't be able to see each other like we did before and I'm going to miss you, a lot, I know I already told you that, but I need to say it all over again, and you're here lying in my arms, and this is the best sensation I've ever had in the past five years, being with you, touching you, kissing you, loving you... Yeah I love you San.. I know you think it's wrong, maybe it is, but I can't help it, I love you..."
She tilted her head back to catch his lips in a soft kiss as she gently stroked his face "I know.. I do to.. But we've talked about that, several times... This is a huge part of my decision to be leaving the show. We can't do this anymore. I mean you have a wife, a WIFE for God's sake ! And two lovely children that I love very much. They would hate me if they knew something and I can't bear with that thought. Plus, there is no way I AM going to break a wedding, your wedding... Technically I'm not breaking anything because you and Jane are on kind of a break for about a year now but still..." She said trying to hold back her tears.
"San- Sandra, are- Are you breaking up with me ?" Kevin asked a knot in his throat.
"Please don't look at me like that.. It's hard enough.. But yeah, I think I'm ending our relationship from now.. We've been cheating on our spouses for about five years.. First Andrew and now Lever, and I feel bad but..." She paused... She took a deep breath before she added
"The thing is that I feel like I'm cheating on you whenever I'm with him.."
"The thing is that I feel like I'm cheating on you when I'm with her..." They said exactly at the same time. The both chuckled about what just happened, it wasn't rare that they would say exactly the same thing at the same time, but it was a bitter laugh because they knew she was right. This has got to stop.
"Look, I'm leaving, I'm going to Chicago for two months, this will put a distance between us, so we can try just to be friends ? I know it will be weird in the beginning but maybe it'll work ?" She asked uncertain.
"I don't think we can be friends.." He answered almost apologetically.
"I know... Just tell me you'll try..." She breathed cupping his face in her tiny hands.
He let out a huge sigh then he kissed her, deeply, passionately, like if he would dare to stop kissing her his life would be taking away from him. He held on her lips, her tongue, her taste. Then he kissed her neck, her breast, he buried his face in her hair to smell her scent one last time and as his lips brushed her right ear he whispered "I'll try..." And dropped one last kiss on her lips, got up, got dressed and left her room.
That was the last physical interaction they had. Thinking about it had brought tears in her eyes which were now running down her cheeks. She wiped them away and got up to check on her make up. As she sat at the dressing table her phone buzzed. She hastened to pick it up to see who it was, desperately hoping that it would be Kevin but instead she read : "Zoe and I wish you a very happy birthday honey, break a leg tonight ! We miss u a lot, see u in three days ! Love you. Lev' "
She replied a "thanks, love u too. Gotta go !", then put down her phone sighing.
She still had an hour left so she decided to check on her twitter to read some kind messages that fans had sent her. But eventually, she found herself hanging around on his account. Reading his latest tweets about London, Hawaii... Then she reminded herself their very last interaction..
It was on Thursday, May 15th, the day of the final. She was alone at her house (she had told Lever that she wanted to be alone that night) hanging on her own, scratch that, hanging with a very nice bottle of wine, about to watch her very last episode of Grey's Anatomy. She was sad about it but grateful and blessed to have been part of this show. She took out her phone to take a look at her camera roll to choose some of her pics to tweet tonight. It was mainly photos with the other members of the cast, the crew, some behind the scene pics, then her heart skipped a beat.. That photo, those photos... She tried to remember when they had been taken. The first one have been taken during the shooting of the episode 14 and the other one, during the party he had held her at the end of the last day of shooting. She was kinda fond of this one, there was something on Kevin's face that she deeply loved. She lost herself thinking about how that night ended...but without thinking any longer, she emptied her glass in one sip and tweeted the pic with "Thinking of you Kev." as a caption. She drunk and and tweeted so much more than usual that night but she didn't care. She needed it. She was alone. She had pushed away the only person she wanted to be with at this moment... He had to know one way or another that she missed him. So she decided that her last tweet would be for him. She chose the other photo and wrote "Kev, I know you're in the highlands. I'm sending you my heart and my thanks. Cristina and Owen forever." then she started to cry and eventually, she fell asleep right there, on her couch, emotionally exhausted. In the middle of the night, she has been woken by the vibrator of her phone. She picked it up from the floor and took a look at the screen rubbing her eyes : " TheRealKMcKidd mentioned you" she could read. She was wide awake now, she sat up on the couch and slide her screen to read what he had wrote. She smiled hugging herself. He was definitely the most thoughtful, kind and sweetest man ever. Gosh she missed him... At that very moment she received a message from him:
"Hey San, what was that all about ? Are you ok ? Kev Xx"
"I was.. I am having a hard time... I miss you, and I think I need to see you." She replied immediately.
"I know what u feel hon. Trust me... Listen, I'm in Scotland for 6 more days then I'll be back, when are you leaving to Chicago ?"
"In 4 days..."
"Crap.. Ok, I need to clear my schedule and then I'll come to see you in Chicago is that ok ?"
"Yes, but you can't until the 1st of July. Lever will be here."
"Oh, this is way too long.. And I'll be back to work by this time.. But I'll do everything in my power to come. I promise"
"Promise ?"
"Yeah I promise"
"Ok thank you. See ya then. Can't wait ! Xx"
"Anytime ! Love u. X"
She hadn't heard about him since then. "Maybe he had changed his mind after all..." She thought. Then a knock at her door made her jumped, she wondered who it could be since no one would ever bothered her before a performance.
"Who is it ?" She asked through the door.
"Sorry , I didn't meant to disturb you, but I have something for you, I'm John, I'm a delivery boy and the person who put in an order for this has been very specific about the fact that you might refuse to open the door, and if it was the case, he made me swear that I will not leave until I managed to convince you and that I would be as insistent as I could. So please, can you just open the door and take what I have for you ? Please ?" The boy said very quickly.
Sandra couldn't help but laugh as she opened the door, "Well, I'll make sure that whoever placed the order will know that you couldn't have honored your promise better !" She said winking at the young man. She widened her eyes as the boy handed her a huge bouquet of hundreds red roses. She took it and thanked him before he left. She closed the door behind her and sat on the couch of the dressing room, putting the bouquet in her laps. She noticed that there was a card in the center. She pulled on it and as she began to read it her eyes filled up with tears one more time.
"My dearest Sandra, I know that there is no word that can excuse myself for not being with you tonight. I had promised you that I would come, but I had to go back to London for a few days to reshoot some scenes of that new movie I told you about. I had no choice.. Trust me I would have given anything to be with you right now. Please don't cry, not tonight, enjoy your last performance, be as awesome and talented as you always are and we will see each other sooner than you know..." She sniffled and a few tears dropped on the paper which has the effect to scattered the ink. "Now dry your tears sweetheart, (yes I know you're crying), be yourself and all will be well. By the way, I'm sorry about John, but I had to be sure that you would have read this before because there will be something else later... Happy birthday to you sweetie, and please don't be too mad at me... PS: I Love You."
She was chocked but happy. He has thought of her, he has thought of her birthday, the first birthday in five years that she will not spend with him. He had wiped her sadness away, he was here, with her, in her thoughts and in her heart, she felt complete. Tonight she was going to play for him.
To be continued...
