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"Angel." I glanced back as Cordelia ran out the door into the courtyard of the Hyperion Hotel. I patted Freds knee and stood to face her. "It's Willow! Buffys alive!" If I had a heartbeat it would have skipped a beat. I ran to her and grabbed the phone from her.

"This isn't funny, Willow." I tried to speak to her without running full tilt to Sunnydale.

"I've never been one to make jokes." I could almost hear the smile through the phone. I sighed and walked into the hotel and straight to my office. I closed the door behind and plopped down on the chair. "I did a spell. And, it worked. She was in hell, Angel." I rubbed my temple.

I could never believe that she would be in hell, but with how she died by sacrificing herself to close a hell dimension, there is a huge chance that she was pulled into that dimension to suffer for eternity.

"How is she?" Was all I could muster out.

"She's great." I heard the uncertain in her voice. "I mean, I think she's great. She's still in a little bit of confusion."

"I understand that." I could remember when I was brought back from Hell. I was a savage animal, worse than my demon side. Buffy had found me and helped me come back down to earth. "Thank you for calling me, Willow."

"You should come see her." I shook my head like she could see me. "You might not think it's a good idea, but, she could need all of us. Giles is coming back in the next few days."

"Where is he coming from?"

"He went back to England when she.. He left the day I did the spell." I could hear Xander trying to speak to her in the background. "Okay. Hold on, can't you see I'm on the phone." There was a pause. "Sorry, Angel."

"It's fine. I need to go. You'll hear from me soon." I hung up the phone before she could answer.

I opened my side drawer and shuffled some papers around before I could feel the frame. I admired the picture of Buffy in the frame she had made me years ago. A tear fell right on her face and I wiped it away as a knock came at the door. I shoved the picture back into drawer.

"Yes." Cordelias head peaked around the door with a halfhearted smile. "Sit." She slowly came in and quietly closed the door behind her.

"How is she back?" She asked. She sat in the chair opposite me. I shrugged my shoulders and leaned forward on my desk.

"A spell. Willow brought her back." I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Well, that's great! Right?"

"Of course." I replied. I looked up at her, tears falling down my cheeks.

"Please tell me those are happy tears."

That's what Buffy called tears when she cried around me. Happy tears. Until now, I never understood what she could mean by that. How could someone cry from being happy. I wiped the tears off my face and shook off the emotions. I stood and walked around to Cordelia who stood and hugged me. I pulled her away.

"I'm okay. But, Willow says I need to see her." she nodded her head. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm not sure, Cordy. When she died I spent days sitting at her gravesite hoping I would wake up and there would be a different name on that tombstone. I'm still not over her death how can I accept her being alive after all this time?" I paced the office.

"You are thinking too much into this. Just be happy because she's alive. Go see her. Call her. Something, Angel." She placed her hands on my arms to stop me, looking me straight in the eyes. Her serious face. I nodded my head and stopped moving.

"I can't leave now. There's things to do."

"We got this. Go! I'm giving you permission." she smiled, shooing me out the door.

"I'm the boss." We stepped out into the lobby. Gunn, Fred and Wesley watching us.

"Yes, but even bosses need a push in the right direction." Cordelia said.

"Is the big guy leaving?" Gunn spat off. I looked in his direction to see he was smiling.

"You aren't leaving are you?" Freds small voice spoke up. She walked around Wesley to stand between us all. Sadness in her eyes. "You have to, I know." She looked down at her hands. "It's okay." She turned to head towards the stairs.

"Fred." I said. She stopped and turned. "I will be back before you know it." She gave me a forced smile and headed up to her room. I turned to Cordelia. "I won't be gone long. If a day." She smiled and pointed to the stairway.

SD

I sat on the edge of my bed, looking at myself in the reflection of the closet mirror. I couldn't think much about where I was just a few days ago. I refused to think of it. Everyone expects me to look chipper and normal. I haven't even figured out how to falsly pull that off. I've been keeping to myself, leaving my room to have bathroom time or eat dinner that Willow insist we eat together like a family. I've been slowly getting my appetite back. Every sound and creak that come through the house is magnified. I can hear everyone whispering about me, and oddly pacing through the house as if waiting for me to pop out with a party hat. I shifted uncomfortably and looked up at my doorway to see Xander looking back.

"Hey, Buff." He slowly stepped in and stood a few feet from me. "Are you hungry." I nodded my head and stood. I followed him down the hall and stairs into the dining room where a nice spread of food was laid out. I sat in my normal chair at the end of the table and waited for everyone to join. Xander sat to my right and started shoveling food on his plate. The rest finally joined.

"How was your day, Buffy?" Willow asked, in a sweet voice.

"Fine." I replied. I picked at my food listening to small conversation going throughout the table. Dawn talking about her day at school and some girl that's been picking on her. Xander spoke with Anya about their weekend getaway coming up. "Giles." I muttered.

The speaking stopped. "Yea, Buff. He's coming back." Xander responded. I nodded and took my napkin from my lap and placed it on my plate. "Already done? You barely touched anything."

"Not hungry as I thought." I stood and took my plate to the kitchen. I leaned on the counter and glanced out the window. There was a dark shadow that moved quickly behind a tree right by the far gate. I picked up a knife and slowly walked out the back door and stood on the porch, waiting and listening.

"Don't attack." I heard a male voice speak out. Then Spike walked out with his hands in the air. I lowered the knife and sat on the steps. "How are you doing?" He sat down next to me.

"If I had a dollar everytime someone asked me that, I'd... have alot of money." I replied. "I'm fine, Spike."

We sat in silence for a few moments before he spoke again. "I've been patroling for you. Until you are ready to go back in the field, of course." I nodded and muttered "Thank you."

"Of course you are better at it." I smiled for the first time and stood up.

"Go home, Spike."

"Alright, Slayer." He flipped his trenchcoat around him and strolled off into the night. I stood there for a few more minutes breathing in the cool night air. I heard rustling around in the kitchen and decided to walk back in. I needed to start coming out of my shell. I don't want Willow to regret me being here, I've heard the story of the night she brought me back she went through a lot. She had slept for days along with me. When I opened the door everyone stopped moving.

"Look guys." I started. There was a shock through the room. "I'm sorry for being.. like I have been."

"It's okay, Buffy. We understand." Willow tried to lighten the air.

"No, it's not. I don't want to make things harder. Things are going to be better. I promise." With that statement I walked over to Dawn at the sink and started helping with the dishes. Maybe doing everyday things will help.

"I got this. It's okay." Dawn said. I laid the plate down and looked around the room.

"You can help me with dessert." Tara said. I smiled at her and grabbed the pie sitting on the counter.

"Buffy and pie. What a great pair." Xander joked. We all laughed and walked into the dining room. It felt good to smile.

Just then there was a loud thunk on the floor and I looked up to see Giles standing in the doorway of the front door. I set the pie down and ran straight to him and into his arms.

"Buffy." He whispered, kissing me on my head.

"Giles." I responded. I backed up and fixed the front of my shirt.

"Giles. You're back! The shop is still mine." Anyas voice came from the other room. "Ow, Xander." He must of nudged her for her outbreak.

"Hello to you, too, Anya." He picked up his bags and set them down next to the stairs. "Pie!"

I pulled onto the street that Buffys house stood. I could feel her presence, despite there was still a few more blocks. I had called Willow before I left and she had informed me that Giles had just returned tonight. I had insisted on waiting a few days before coming to give them time and she absolutely was against that. I slowed as I pulled into the driveway, it was late but Willow said she would wait up. I strolled up the steps and as I lifted my hand to knock the door flew open and a small brunette flew into my arms.

"Hey Dawn." I smiled and set her down, she beamed up at me while pulling me into the house. Willow and Tara were sitting on the couch, curled up in a blanket. They stood when they saw me. "Willow, Tara." I hugged both.

"Hey, Angel." I looked around.

"Everybody in bed?" I asked. Willow shook her head.

She motioned to Dawn. "As soon as she overheard me and Tara talking about you coming she refused to go to bed. Giles and Buffy decided to patrol with.. Spike." I frowned at that name. "And, Xander and Anya went home a few hours ago."

"I should go get a hotel room before sunrise." I insisted.

"I wish we had room here for you." Dawn said. I shook my head.

"Even if you did, it's probably not a good idea." I motioned for Willow to follow me outside. I patted Dawn on the shoulder and hugged her goodbye. She frowned and stormed upstairs. When we closed the door behind us, I couldn't keep it in any longer. "Patroling with Spike?" I managed to keep my voice remotely down. Willow paced uncomfortably.

"Well, as you know he's been our muscle these last few months. He's been patroling even when Buffy came back." she tried to explain. I shrugged it off.

"I should really be going.. to a hotel I mean." I said. Willow nodded her head.

"Should I tell Buffy you'll be here later?" I shook my head. I didn't want her to know I was coming at all. Which is completely different than the time I was in Sunnydale for days and left without ever letting her know, till Xander opened his mouth. I sort of wanted to surprise her before she could scorn me for coming. "Well, then call me." she said. I turned and walked back to my car.

I drove a few miles before a small motel came into view. I suppose it is good to stay as close as possible.

"How long is your stay?" the large man behind the counter asked me. I pondered that for a moment.

"Could I pay nightly?" I asked.

"Yes." he answered and handed me keys. "There should be clean linens, and there is NO free breakfast." I forced a smile and walked out of the office and back to my car for my bags. I made it down to my room and opened the door to a foul smelling room. I opened a window and settled down on the rock hard bed. Good thing these things don't effect me that poorly. I locked the door and decided to shower before getting some sleep.

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